


Hold Me in Your Beating Heart

by NiamJenn1994



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Louis, Flashbacks, Grinding, I'll add more tags as i go, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Major character death but you know why, Mpreg, Mpreg Louis, Post Mpreg, Scientific innacuracies, Smut, Top Harry, Top!Harry, bottom!Louis, mpreg!zayn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-05-05 10:10:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 102,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5371412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamJenn1994/pseuds/NiamJenn1994
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry could feel himself slowly start to shiver when the cold temperature of the room started getting colder due to the high temperatures outside. </p>
<p>He hated the summer. </p>
<p>He let out a shaky breath realizing how cold it really was when he could see his own breath yet didn't dare himself to leave just yet. He couldn't stop looking at him, couldn't leave him alone...at least not yet.</p>
<p>Ice crystals were slowly forming on the glass giving him an angelic look, his light brown hair brushed back where it would stay forever frozen in place.</p>
<p>"I love you, Lou." He whispered fighting the tears that felt so good yet brought the most painful emotions along with them.</p>
<p>                                                               ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬</p>
<p>In a world where preserving the dead through Cryopreservation in attempts to bring them back is possible, Harry Styles fights against time and his morals to bring back the love he lost, the one who should have never left. The one he will always hold in his beating heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Too little too late

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my new fic and I'm posting the first chapter to see what kind of response I get before I decide if I should continue it or not after I finish And You're My Ever After.
> 
> A few warnings:
> 
> This fic deals with Cryopreservation or cryoconservation is a process where cells, whole tissues, or any other substances susceptible to damage caused by chemical reactivity or time are preserved by cooling to sub-zero temperatures. Many scientific things will be unrealistic but that's how it will be for the sake of the fic so please don't comment how unrealistic it is because I know.
> 
> Harry is a genius in this fic so don't comment how he's too young for his career.
> 
> This will have Major character death which I know you know why, Mpreg (I know, I'm obsessed), BoyxBoy, Angst, Many flashbacks and that's all I can think of now but I will be back and add here once I remember.
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Cm5XaqGhDw

The room was big enough to fit a crowd of fifty people yet with only him there, it felt suffocating and as if it was closing in on him. He took a deep breath still sitting on the only chair in the room, a cold metal table pushed against the wall with nothing but a file he had placed there upon arriving. Harry could feel himself slowly start to shiver when the cold temperature of the room started getting colder due to the high temperatures outside.

He hated the summer.

He let out a shaky breath realizing how cold it really was when he could see his own breath yet didn't dare himself to leave just yet. He couldn't stop looking at him, couldn't leave him alone...at least not yet. When he finally got up he made his way to the front of the room placing his hand against the freezing glass of the only capsule in the room per Mark's orders that held his whole life. Ice crystals were slowly forming on the glass giving him an angelic look, his light brown hair brushed back where it would stay forever frozen in place.

He felt the tears prickling his eyes biting on his bottom lip to keep himself from sobbing when even after nine years he still looked the same, and Harry still loved him with all his heart. He took a step closer until he was right against the frosty glass and face to face with him wanting to see his bright blue eyes that used to look right back at him with as much love as Harry still did. He never stopped feeling the same.

He rested his forehead against the glass not caring how cold it was and finally let the tears fall wondering why everything had gone wrong. Wondering why life had been cruel to them, why they hadn't been allowed to be happy when they had the chance.

When his forehead started hurting he pulled back wiping his tears away as he did so knowing it was time to go for the day, time to go back to the only thing he had left of Louis. Time to go and spend his time trying to find the only way that would give him his love back.

"I love you, Lou." He whispered fighting the tears that felt so good yet brought the most painful emotions along with them, "Blake loves you too, he always asks me to tell you." Harry whispered then left the room without looking back.

He knew that if he did, he would never leave again.

He walked through the corridors of _Tomlinson's Cryogenic Institute_ ignoring everybody on his way back to his office Mark had given him so he could have somewhere to stay whenever he would visit Louis. When he was there he took a seat on the chair rubbing his hands on his face trying to calm down. Once he was finally calm he got up and took his white coat off replacing it with his black suit jacket just wanting to go back home to Blake and spend the rest of the day with him.

"Leaving already?" Mark asked poking his head in after seeing the door was open.

"Yes, I promised Blake we were going to watch The Avengers." Harry responded without looking at him.

"You've been crying again." Mark stated making Harry roll his eyes, "I told you that as soon as you find a way to get and keep his heart going after resuscitation so it regenerates we ca-"

"And what if I don't, Mark? What if I never do and he stays like that forever..if you hadn't- forget it, I'm going home."

"I know it was my fault Harry. I know it was and trust me that I've lived the past nine years wanting to go back and change everything, change the way I acted and the way I did things. It kills me to see him like that everyday and not being able to do anything. I hate myself because it's my fault he missed all these nine years and my grandson never got to have his father around."

"Too late, now if you'll excuse me I have to go home." Harry grabbed his stuff then left leaving Mark alone.

 

_"1, 2, 3, arms above your head."_

_Harry would hear it everyday whenever he would mop the floors right outside the dance studio and every time he would stop to look at him through the small window on the door. He was always fascinated by the way he moved, so graceful yet so strong, Harry didn't know how he was capable of doing both._

_He loved the way the blue eyes of the boy would shine whenever he would land rather gracefully, the only thing missing were white wings and he would look like the angel Harry thought he was. He loved the way he would pirouette across the dance floor stealing his breath away every single time he would see his bright smile loving what he was doing. He hated how in love he was with someone he had never spoken to and could never have when he was a nobody and the boy going by the lovely name of Louis had everything in life and was way out of his league._

 

He would still remember the grace which Louis will dance with, how he made it look easy when in reality it was the hardest thing one will ever have to do. He knows it, he tried when Louis had begged him too. He tried to concentrate on the road seeing the many kids outside with their parents eating ice cream and walking around the park. He would never forget the many walks in the park he would take with Louis, the way the petite blue eyed boy loved to do so never missing a day if he could help it. Harry always made sure to take walks with Blake on the weekends ever since he was a baby and it was just them.

_"It's healthy for you love, plus the park is lovely."_

Harry sighed rather loudly trying to shake those thoughts away as soon as he was parked outside the house he had bought two years ago when he finally had enough for it. It was exactly like Louis always dreamed of, a two story house with the biggest backyard and the biggest and well equipped kitchen.

He shut the engine off then got out of his car making sure to lock it then walked inside furrowing his brow when everything was way too quiet. He made his way to Blake's bedroom hearing Jay's soft voice talking to his son and when he peeked inside his bedroom he saw her sitting next to him as he ate cherries. Those had been Louis' favorites just like they were Blake's.

"Papa!" Blake interrupted Jay then shot up from his spot without spilling the cherries launching himself at Harry who managed to catch him just in time. He was the most affectionate and sweetest child.

"Hi buddy! How was your day, did you behave for grandma Jay?" Harry kissed the top of his head then his forehead smiling when he finally made eye contact with his son seeing his bright blue eyes just like Louis'.

"I was good papa. Did you see daddy? Did you tell him I love him this big?" Blake made sure to extend his arms out as far as they would go to make his point, "I even wrote it in your calendar." Blake said narrowing his eyes at his father.

"Yeah bud, and he loves you even more." Harry said ignoring the sad looks Jay was directing his way.

"He told you? When is he coming home?" Blake asked furrowing his brow.

"I don't know baby, I don't know." Harry hugged him close to his chest finally making eye contact with Jay who looked away, "But I know that he loves you with all his heart."

"He loves you too, right?" Blake placed his hand on Harry's cheek then glanced at Jay before looking back at his father, his brown curly locks bouncing as he did so, "Grandma Jay told me he loves you too...with all his heart."

"Yeah Blake, he loves us both with all his heart." Harry confirmed cupping the back of his head to hug him closer never wanting to let go when his son started squirming wanting to set himself free.

Yes, Louis had loved them with all his heart. Had loved them too much, had given all his heart to him and their son expecting nothing in return and in the end, it's what had killed him.

_"He died of a broken heart."_

That's what Jay had told him that time when she had placed his one month old son in his arms and he had been too broken to say anything else other than hold his baby close to him. He still couldn't get those words out of his head even after nine years, they still echoed around in his head.

"Thank you for watching him, Jay." Harry tried to smile but failed.

"You don't have to thank me sweetheart, I'm here whenever you need me." Jay got up putting the plate of cherries on top of the nightstand.

"I hope he didn't give you any trouble, I know how he's like." Harry finally smiled remembering all of his son's antics.

"He's an angel." Jay assured him as she picked her bag up and took a step forward to hug Harry and her grandson goodbye, "I'll see you later loves."

"Yeah, thank you Jay." Harry hugged her back then walked her to the door still holding onto Blake.

"Bye grandma Jay!" Blake waved goodbye giggling when she kissed his cheek before leaving.

Once she was gone he let Blake take a shower then took one himself and when he was done he busied himself with making dinner while his son talked about his day. He would make sure he was always paying attention to him answering whenever he had to and asking questions when he got too curious. By the time dinner was ready they sat down to eat always trying to ignore the empty chair where Louis was supposed to sit on and when they were done, Blake was more than ready to sit down and watch his favorite movie.

"Papa, when I grow up I'm going to be like Black Widow. I want to be a spy, like a real one!" Blake exclaimed and when Harry saw his eyes were a bit droopy he knew it was time for him to go to bed, "I read about them in school and Jason said he wants to be one too."

"Okay Black Widow! Time for you to go to bed, mister." Harry stopped the movie then made Blake get up who was already pouting.

"But I'm not tired." Blake yawned then started rubbing his left eye, "Movie's not over yet."

"We can finish it tomorrow love, but now you have to go to sleep so you can wake up early tomorrow for school."

"Okay." Blake nodded.

They brushed their teeth together and when Harry was sure he had gone to the bathroom he walked him to his bedroom where he tucked him in in his bed and kissed his forehead. He was about to leave when Blake's hand stopped him and when he looked back, his son was already looking right back at him with wide blue eyes and pouty lips.

"Can you tell me a story...about daddy?" Blake asked smiling when Harry sighed and lay down next to him making sure he had enough space. His papa was so tall.

"What kind of story do you want me to tell you?" Harry asked getting comfortable next to his son.

"Nana Anne told me how she met Grandpa Robin and Grandma Jay told me how she met Grandpa Mark. How did you meet daddy?" Blake asked as he fiddled with the edge of his Captain America bedsheets.

"Well, when I was younger I used to work at this dance studio cleaning everything and your daddy used to dance there." Harry started.

"Daddy liked to dance?" Blake interrupted him, "I like to dance too! Uncle Niall showed me how to dance the macarena, I am the bestest...better than uncle Liam and uncle Zayn." He proudly told him.

"I bet you are the best." Harry kissed his forehead then grabbed a picture frame sitting on the nightstand and that held a picture of Louis and himself five months after they had met and were already so in love.

He smiled remembering that day as if it had been only yesterday but it had been ten years ago when Louis had been only seventeen and he only eighteen. He still blushed remembering how he had made a fool of himself when all he could see was his Louis and hadn't seen the wet floor sign he himself had put there to warn the others.

 

_The day seemed as if it was never going to end and when some of the snotty students kept leaving trash behind he knew he was going to have to stay there longer than necessary. He sighed as he placed the wet floor sign to make sure no one slipped then looked across the hallway to see his friend Niall who was in his second year while he was in his last one taking out the trash out of one of the trashcans in the hallway._

_He tried to focus on mopping the rest of the floor when the door of one of the studios opened and he couldn't help but smile knowing he would get to see him again. By the time he looked up Niall was already staring at him with a raised brow and a smirk then looked straight ahead where Harry knew Louis was._

_Like always, Louis took his breath away when he saw him walking out of there with his bag over his shoulder and a bit sweaty from the exertion. He had his friend Zayn next to him that lucky for him and Niall, was just as nice as Louis and Liam, Zayn's boyfriend who was studying to be a pediatrician._

_"Mate," Niall sighed, "Just go and talk to him, he's not gonna bite your hand off or be rude to you."_

_"No! I'm just gonna make a fool of myself...plus I think he's already dating that douchebag Nick." Harry said looking at Louis and blushed a million shades of red when he saw him already looking right back at him._

_"Louis detests Nick, Liam told me and Liam knows since he's dating Zayn and Zayn is best friends with Louis." Niall informed him._

_"Still, he's out of my league. Why would he date someone like me, a nobody? I've known this ever since I saw him at the beginning of the year." Harry continued mopping the floor and completely ignoring Niall until he heard his voice right in front of him._

_"That's horrible." Louis frowned, "You shouldn't think so low of yourself. Harry, right?"_

_"I uh...I." Harry stammered not knowing what to say then glared at Niall when he burst out laughing, "M'Harry."_

_"Louis. Nice to meet you." He extended his arm out waiting to shake his hand._

_He was just about to lower it when Harry snapped out of his trance rushing to shake it completely forgetting about the wet floor and not seeing the sign at all. That day he did end up making a fool of himself in front of the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. He knew that after that embarrassing fiasco his chances with Louis, if he had any before, were now completely gone._

_He thought about getting up and running out of there, never come back when he could hear a few people laughing at him thinking Louis was too. That's what he thought until he looked at him seeing Louis already offering his hand to help him up and without hesitation, Harry took it feeling how warm and soft it was compared to his calloused ones after many years of hard work just to get by._

_"Are you okay?" Louis asked as soon as he made sure the lovely boy with green eyes wouldn't slip again._

_"I'm fine, thanks for helping me up." Harry blushed._

_"Glad I could help." Louis smiled._

 

"And then what happened next?" An impatient Blake asked after Harry had taken his time to tell the whole story with details.

"We started spending time together, we fell in love and then a year and two months later your cute self was born." Harry concluded the story.

"Why did daddy have to go?" Blake asked blinking up at Harry with sad blue eyes, "You said he's very sick and he's asleep but when is he going to wake up and come home to us?"

"I'm hoping he'll come home soon but I don't know when." Harry said fighting the sadness away.

"Grandpa Mark and me watched movies and he told me he's like Sleeping Beauty and Elsa from Frozen so I guess he's okay, the cold doesn't bother him papa." Blake yawned while Harry tried not to break down crying right then and there.

"Goodnight buddy, I love you." Harry kissed his forehead then got up fixing the blankets around his son.

He smiled when Blake never said anything already asleep holding onto a stuffed teddy bear Harry had gotten him soon after Jay had given him his baby back. He had forbidden Harry from telling people he still slept with it. He turned the light off making sure to leave his night light on then went to his bedroom getting ready to go to bed.

As soon as he was in bed he closed his eyes trying to suppress the memories that for some reason were coming back hitting him full force. The most painful of them all making his chest hurt and almost impossible to breathe. He turned around on his side with his back to the door trying to suppress it by curling up into a ball under the covers and just disappear.

 

_The last time he had seen Louis had been five months earlier when after waiting for the five month pregnant boy so they could run away together, Louis never showed up. He ended up staying to look for him but by the time he had gotten to his house, they were already gone and the house was empty as if it had never been occupied before._

_He had been forced to spend the next five months without him and their son and when he was sure Louis had already given birth without him there, he wanted to hunt Mark down. It was no secret he had never been fond of Harry for not being of the same social status as them considering him a nobody and not worth Louis' time. But Harry was in love with Louis, he was so in love he would have done anything for him and their baby he knew nothing of._

_He could feel the lads eyes on him as he paced back and forth in the living room of the shitty apartment he shared with Niall. After drilling Zayn for answers when it was clear he and Liam were just as clueless as to where Louis was he started losing hope not wanting to hurt again. When his phone started vibrating and an unknown number showed up on the screen he froze not knowing what to do until Liam urged him to answer the phone._

_"H- Hello?" Harry's voice trembled hearing a bit of static before it went silent then heard someone on the other line breathing heavily almost as if they were trying to catch their breath yet sounded weak, "Hello, who is this?"_

_"Ha- Harry." Louis' whimper sounded through the phone making Harry almost panic at how sick he sounded._

_"Lou! Lou, love where are you? Is our baby-" Harry started seeing the others sitting up looking at him._

_"Harry, I- I don't have time." Louis said then Harry winced when he started coughing._

_"Tell me where you are...I- I can go get you, but please just tell me where you are." Harry started crying again hearing Jay in the background telling him to hurry up. "Lou..."_

_"I just...I want you to know that I will always love you okay. No m- matter where I go, or how much time passes, I- I will always love you. I lo- love you f- forever..." Louis was barely able to say before Harry heard them._

_A baby crying, a flatline, and finally Jay's sobs begging Louis to wake up._

_He stood where he was clutching the phone close to his ear desperately trying to figure out what was going on while hearing Jay's sobs mixing with the baby's cries. He fell to his knees barely holding in the scream threatening to come out hearing Mark shouting that he was gone and Jay's shouts blaming him for it before the line went dead._

_When he couldn't hear them anymore was when he finally let out the loudest scream ever feeling arms around him trying to hold him down as he struggled to get up. When he was pushed flat on his back against the floor and felt Niall's body on top of him was when he finally stopped struggling and lay there letting everything out._

_"And ever..." Harry whispered before he closed his eyes feeling nothing at all._

_His Louis was gone._

 

Harry sat up with tears in his eyes trying to shake the memory away that still haunted him everyday when he was awake and in his sleep, never leaving him alone. That was the day he had given up wanting to go too, he wanted to be with Louis no matter where they went or who they left behind. He wanted to die along with him.

He still remembers how he thought he wasn't going to be allowed to go to the funeral and when he got a call from Jay he thought he would. Except, there hadn't been a funeral and he never got an explanation from Mark other than he was going to right his wrongs.

That day he got another reason to live when he held his one month old baby in his arms for the very first time cradling him close to his chest. He wanted to see Louis at least one more time not knowing that he would get to see him everyday, just not the way he would have liked.

Since that day he spent his time working, studying like never before and taking care of his son to be someone in life and now at the young age of twenty eight, almost twenty nine, he was one of the best cardiac surgeons. Being a genius and skipping up to three grades back in grade school and two years of medical school had had its perks because now he could give his and Louis' son everything he never had as a child. Yet he hated the fact that being one of the smartest man in the world, he still had failed him.

The day he had graduated from Uni at the age of only nineteen with the highest honors and just a month after Louis' death, he had immediately gone to his family taking Blake from his sister's arms not expecting it when he heard Mark's voice. The atmosphere had gotten so tense and when Harry turned around to look at him, he found Jay standing next to him. He could still remember the whole conversation he had had with Mark and the shock when he had finally gotten to see Louis again.

 

_He felt numb as he made his way inside the private hospital feeling out of place when he wasn't dressed his best, but who was after working half the day and taking care of a child suffering from colics the other half of it. He didn't even have to give his name to the receptionist when Mark was already waiting for him. Without saying anything he followed him through many corridors until they were standing outside a door, that's when Mark turned to look at him._

_"Blake?" He asked forcing himself to look Harry in the eye after everything._

_"He's doing well...he's with my sister right now." Harry answered wondering what was going on, why was he there._

_"What I'm going to show you might be a shock to you but I want you to understand that I'm doing it for his own good. I need to right my wrongs, Harry." Mark's voice trembled making Harry bite the inside of his left cheek in anger._

_"Just show me. I have a son to take care of and homework to complete." Harry snapped._

_Mark nodded then opened the door, both of them shivering at the cold rush of air that seemed to seep all the way to their bones. Everything was made of metal but what sent shivers down Harry's spine was the capsule in front of him and the keypad on the wall next to it. He braced himself for what was behind it and when Mark finally opened it he waited for the mist to clear out letting out a loud gasp when he finally saw what it was. He stumbled backwards unable to believe he was there, frozen and no longer alive but there._

_"Lou..." Harry let out a choked sob wanting to get closer but too afraid to do so._

_"Jay wanted a funeral but I couldn't do it, I- I couldn't let him go. His heart failed but I know we can find a cure in the future, Harry. You're a genius, y- you could help." Mark begged seeing Harry staring at his son and just like that, he watched him break down in front of him._

_When Harry finally made it home he felt completely drained going straight to his bedroom where he laid on bed staring up at the ceiling. That image of Louis was all he could see, it stayed in his nightmares for years to come never leaving him alone._

 

When he fell asleep again it was with the thought of Louis when he had seen him again after his death, frozen and trapped in a capsule. Since that day he would always go and see him everyday never missing one when he had free time from completing medical school and years later a residency at the hospital Mark was the director of. He had insisted that as part of setting everything right again, he wanted to help him with expenses even though Harry had scholarships and who was he to reject the offer when he had a son to raise even if he deeply disliked Mark.

The next day he was up bright and early trying to get everything ready on time and as soon as they were out the door he dropped Blake off at his school then went straight to the hospital where he had a surgery scheduled for that day. As soon as he got there he only had two hours to get ready and have everything ready.

Almost five hours later he was out of the operating room in a great mood since the surgery had been a success. He smiled when the patient's family thanked him over and over for saving the man's life, it made him feel great to save them and give them another chance.

He went to his office to take a break as he checked his phone seeing a text from his mother telling him he had picked Blake up from school. When he got there he took a seat rubbing his hands on his face as he wondered whether to take a nap or read over patients files and try and find something he probably missed before. He looked over his desk spotting that one file he always read over and over ever since it had been given to him by Mark himself.

 

**_Name: Louis Tomlinson_ **

**_DOB: 12/24/87_ **

**_Cause of Death: Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy_ **

**_Date and Time of Death: May 24, 2005. 18:24_ **

 

_Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy_ , those words and the disease itself seemed to mock him the longer he stared at it until he let out a low growl slamming the file on top of the desk. He then let out bitterly laugh hating how it was also known as Broken-Heart Syndrome but to Harry it was the culprit that had taken Louis away back when they didn't know a thing about it.

Before he knew it, he was already up and out the door making sure to lock it before heading to the lab where work awaited him. When he got there he greeted his colleagues before he completely lost himself into his research needing to find something new, something that would help Louis. Something to make the pain in his heart stop once and for all, he didn't know if he could live much more.

Time passed by without him noticing until he snapped out of it needing a break and when he looked around, he was alone but it didn't bother him when it always happened. He wanted to get back to it when he heard a door opening then closing seeing Mark making his way to him, his hands in his coat pockets and a mask over his mouth just like himself.

"It's almost five o'clock." Mark informed him.

"I was about to leave...gonna go see him first." Harry said as he started putting everything back where it belonged.

"Still nothing?" Mark asked.

"No, I lose hope and determination everyday...feels like I'll never figure out a way. Mark, it's been nine years already...there is no way we can ever get his heart going again much less keep it that way. If we do...if we do, we'll just watch him die again." Harry swallowed the lump in his throat at the thought.

"There's always a way." Mark raised his voice, "You are an eminence, a genius in this field, Harry. I know you can do it, I know you can bring him back." He insisted seeing Harry growing frustrated by the second.

"Why is it always on me!?" Harry yelled not caring who could hear him, "Why am I the one who has to bring him back when it's your fault he died!? You could have let us be and he would still be here." Harry's eyes filled with tears that he was quick to wipe away, he hated showing weakness in front of Mark.

"I'm sorry." Mark swallowed the lump in his throat knowing that all of it was true.

"Just..I'm gonna go see him." Harry finished putting everything away then walked out of there after washing his hands leaving Mark alone, he didn't want to see him for the rest of the day.

He went straight to his car then drove to the institute glad that no one stopped him on his way there until he stopped right outside the doors. He placed his hand on the hand scanner then his eyes on the biometric eye scanner hearing a confirmation beep then pulled away just as the doors were opening letting out the freezing cold air making him shiver.

He walked inside staring straight ahead at the capsule where Louis still looked the same, forever eighteen and frozen while he was nearing his twenty-ninth birthday. He grabbed the chair placing it in front of the capsule taking a seat soon after, wondering why he liked to torture himself the way he did.

"Hi love." Harry greeted him just like he did everyday, "I couldn't find anything again...I'm sorry." Harry said before he couldn't hold it in anymore and started silently crying. The pain never seemed to go away.

"I'm sorry you're like this...y- you've missed so much, Lou. I wish I could do more to help you, t- to bring you back but I also wonder if letting you go will be the best choice. Maybe you want to rest in peace and we're being selfish by not letting you, maybe you're done being here."

"I promised Blake you will wake up one day and be with us like a proper family, but I don't know how much longer I can keep that promise. I don't know what to do." Harry hugged himself as his shivers started getting more violent and after saying goodbye, he left heading back home after the long day.

He didn't dare look back once again.


	2. I need to let you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be writing my other fic but I have so much inspiration for this one. Huge song reference in this chapter. The song in the link below, I was listening to while typing this chapter. Don't forget to comment. Enjoy! :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjVbl-jfum8

When he got home that afternoon, his mother was already making dinner for them opting for leaving him alone as soon as she saw the expression on his face. He went straight for a shower letting the hot water relax his muscles remembering his first ever date with Louis. How magical it had been even if had been in a simple fair, yet Louis’ face had shown nothing but pure bliss throughout it.

 

_“And where are you taking me this fine afternoon?” Louis asked as he walked next to Harry towards his car leaving Louis’ gigantic house behind._

_“It’s a surprise but I promise you’ll love it.” Harry smiled wanting to hold his hand but held himself not wanting to ruin it when it hadn’t even started yet._

_When they finally got to his car, Harry blushed seeing how old and crappy it really was but Louis only smiled at him letting him open the door for him. They talked about anything they could think of until they got to their destination and Louis actually gasped out loud._

_“The fair!? I’ve only been to the fair once and it was when I was eight, my grandma took me behind my parents back. Dad thinks they’re full of germs, he’s weird.” Louis hurried to get out of the car as soon as Harry had parked it._

_“My mum used to take my sister and I every year until I was fifteen, that’s when I started uni and didn’t have much time to actually socialize.” Harry chuckled glad that Louis had liked it._

_“I still can’t believe you’re eighteen and in your last year, that’s pretty awesome.” Louis said in awe at the information after Harry had told him, “You’re a genius, you’re going to save many lives. You’re going to make the world a better place. You’ll see Harold.”_

_“I hope so.” Harry shrugged walking over to Louis’ side shyly placing his hand on the small of his back._

_He led him towards the entrance where he paid for their tickets then was pulled inside by the hand by an excited Louis who was looking at everything surrounding him with bright blue eyes. He went straight to the lady selling cotton candy and without saying anything, Harry bought him a blue one watching him eating it as if he had never eaten one before finding out that he hadn’t since he was eight._

_“I want to ride everything!” Louis exclaimed letting Harry guide him towards the first ride, “Like the ferris wheel...or the carousel!”_

_“Whatever you want.” Harry smiled glad that he had just gotten paid and he had enough._

_Louis smiled at him before taking him to the long line for the bumper cars talking about how he couldn’t wait to ride them and when it was finally their turn, Harry knew he would never forget the way Louis had laughed. After that it was the rollercoaster where Louis had held onto Harry for dear life but Harry couldn’t complain when it was the closest Louis had ever been to him. Louis had giggled the entire way to a bench after the rollercoaster grabbing Harry’s hand out of nowhere._

_“Where do you want to go next?” Harry asked as he looked around still holding Louis’ hand in his._

_“How about...we just walk around?” Louis suggested getting up as soon as Harry nodded._

_They walked around hand in hand and when Harry won a medium sized white teddy bear for Louis, Louis had hugged him then kissed his cheek making Harry feel butterflies all over his stomach. Almost by the end of the night Louis got to ride the carousel then the ferris wheel holding tight onto the teddy bear. They didn’t end up kissing while at the very top, no, their first kiss had happened in Harry’s car parked outside the gates of Louis’ house._

_It had been Louis’ first kiss, the sweetest kiss for both of them._

 

“Papa! Its dinner time!” Blake shouted from the other side of the door managing to startle Harry and almost slip.

“Coming!” He shouted back trying to calm down hearing a ‘kay’ from Blake.

He shut the water off then dried his hair and body with a towel before wrapping it around his waist making sure it was well secured around it. He quickly changed into black sweatpants and a white shirt before making his way to the dining room where his mother and son were already waiting for him.

“Hi mum.” Harry greeted her with a kiss on the cheek getting one in return.

“Hello love, how was work?” Anne asked him as she passed him the lasagna she had cooked.

“Great! Surgery was successful and spent the rest of the day researching.” Harry avoided looking at her as he served himself knowing the looks she was giving him.

“That’s nice, love.” Anne forced a smile.

“We have parents day tomorrow. Are you coming, papa? I wrote it in your calendar.” Blake asked him knowing that if it was in his calendar then he had to go.

“Of course I’m going, bud. I made sure I don’t have anything to do tomorrow so we can spend it together.” Harry gave him a smile receiving one in return.

“Gemma’s coming home for a few days.” Anne commented, “She and Michael finally got a few days off and the kids have a three day break. They’re coming saturday morning.”

“David and Michelle are finally coming!” Blake cheered having missed his seven and five year old cousins. “And tomorrow will be friday already!”

“Yeah, and they’re staying at my house so you’re welcome to go spend the weekend with us, munchkin...both of you.” Anne patted the top of his hand earning a smile from both her son and grandson.

They chattered for the rest of dinner and when they were done, Harry sent Blake to shower while he helped his mother clean up the kitchen. They stayed quiet while wiping the table and countertops until Harry started loading the dishwasher, that’s when Anne had enough.

“You went to see him again?” She asked already knowing the answer.

“You know I always do, mum.” Harry sighed finishing what he was doing then looked at her after starting it.

“Did you find anything?” Anne took a step closer to her son hoping for a yes.

She missed Louis just as much as Harry did, had gotten attached to him and loved him like a son those few months he got to know him. She and Gemma always tried to forget the feeling when they had learnt about his passing, it was never easy.

“Nothing. I’m starting to lose hope and I’ve been thinking about…” Harry trailed off not wanting to say it outloud. It frightened him to say it outloud.

“About what?” Anne curiously asked getting closer to her son until she was standing right in front of him.

“Letting him go, letting him rest in peace.” Harry said lowering his gaze finding his slippers interesting.

“Harry…” Anne’s eyes filled with tears.

“It’s what we should have done nine years ago, mum. We should have had a funeral for him. Do everything appropriately and let him rest in peace. We can’t keep playing being God, I- I should have let him go years ago but I couldn’t. I was too selfish to convince Mark and I did what I shouldn’t have, I dedicated and still am dedicating my life on finding a way to keep him alive. His heart is too damaged and a transplant is risky, mum.” Harry’s voice trembled before finally letting the tears fall, “How am I supposed to have his heart regenerate...’”

“I know how hard this is for you sweetheart, but if that’s what you want then you know I fully support you in your decision. It’s hard but I think it’s time to let him go, he deserves to rest in peace.” Anne wrapped her arms around him holding back the tears when Harry’s shoulders started shaking.

She let him cry on her shoulder until he stopped watching him wash his face then act as if nothing had happened as soon as Blake had walked into the kitchen. She ended up leaving half an hour later leaving them once again alone trying not to think that soon, Louis will finally be resting.

The following day Harry got up, his eyes swollen and dark circles under his eyes, sniffling every now and then as he made breakfast before he absolutely had to wake Blake up for school. He washed his face again before going to his bedroom smiling when he saw he was upside down with the bed sheets tangled up with his legs. His right cheek had pillow creases and he assumed he had just turn over onto that side making his way to him turning the light on.

“Blake. Buddy, time to wake up.” Harry gently touched his arm smiling when his little nose, just like his father’s, scrunched up then moved away from him, “Blake it’s time to get up.”

“I don’t wanna…” Blake mumbled.

“Yes you do, you like going to school. You told me last week.” Harry tried to make him get up only to have his hand pushed away by Blake’s smaller ones.

“I don’t like it...anymore.” Blake mumbled.

“Blake Alexander Styles, get up. Now.” Harry ordered watching him open his eyes then finally sitting up as he rubbed them.

“Can I skip it? Please papa.” Blake begged pouting his bottom lip for effect. He was so much like Louis.

“But we have parents day today and we get to spend the whole day together. You get to show me your desk and all your projects, I’m really really excited to see them.” Harry sat down on the bed next to him pulling him into a hug wishing Louis was there sitting on his other side. When all the other kids were going to have both their parents there, Blake only had him.

“M’kay.” Blake yawned hiding his face on his father’s chest hearing his strong heartbeats, “But only if you carry me to the bathroom.” He giggled.

“Your wish is my command!” Harry exclaimed picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder as he ran to the bathroom hearing his loud laughs until they got there.

He left him alone so he could get ready while he did the same looking forward to spending the day with his son. When he was ready he walked by Blake’s bedroom seeing he was already dressed and putting his shoes on furrowing his tiny brow as he did so. They ate breakfast in a comfortable silence and when they were done, Harry put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher before leaving since the cleaning lady was due that day.

When they got to the school Blake grabbed Harry by the hand and pulled him towards his desk where he made him sit down on one of the extra chairs every desk had next to it. Harry listened to the teacher talk proud that his son was paying attention then allowed himself to look around catching another parent already looking back at him. He had brown hair and blue eyes managing to smile at him a little before turning to look at the teacher who was explaining a project that he was supposed to do with Blake.

“Papa, why do people draw the heart like that? In your books it doesn’t look like that.” Blake asked looking at Harry then at a girl’s backpack.

“Well...that heart is used as a symbolism of love before we knew what the heart really looked like. Many years ago people associated the shape of that heart with love and that is how it came to be.” Harry explained smiling when his son shaped his lips into an O.

“I see…” Blake nodded to himself before he focused his attention back on the crossword he was solving while Harry went back to his own once again seeing the man looking at him.

When it was time to go home, Harry helped his son with his backpack letting him walk in front of him towards the car and once they were buckled up he drove to Blake’s favorite restaurant to eat something. Harry took a seat in front of Blake watching him for a few seconds before finally looking at the menu he was holding. They ordered their food and when it was brought to them, they started eating right away.

“Papa?” Blake said earning Harry’s attention.

“Yeah, bud? Do you need something?” Harry looked at him making sure he was okay.

“When are you going to take me to see daddy? You get to see him everyday and I only have pictures, Grandpa Mark and Grandma Jay get to see him too. I don’t think it’s fair that you get to see him and I don’t.” Blake looked at Harry in the eyes wanting his father to take him seriously.

“I already told you when. We agreed that when he wakes up and is able to see you too, then you’ll be able to see him.” Harry explained not knowing what else to do and say

The thought of Blake seeing his father like that frightened him all the way to his core when to him Louis was still as beautiful as ever, but to anybody else and especially their son it wouldn’t look like that. Louis looked truly and beautifully frightening, pale as the moon when he no longer had blood flowing through his veins. His cheeks were no longer rosy but pale and his lips almost white with the extreme cold temperatures and lack of blood.

No. He didn’t want his son to see him like that.

“That’s not fair!” Blake’s eyes filled with hot tears tightening his grip on the fork he was holding.

“Blake…” Harry sighed already knowing he would burst into tears at any time now, anger and frustration always brought him to tears.

“No, you see him everyday and it’s not fair.” Blake angrily wiped away his tears with his sleeves glaring at Harry, “Liar…” He growled under his breath thinking Harry hadn’t heard him.

“What did you just call me?” Harry leaned forward grabbing Blake’s wrist.

“You’re a liar. Did he leave us? Jeffrey told me he left us too like his dad left him and his other.” Blake sniffled seeing his father getting up and taking the seat next to him.

“I will never lie to you, when you were a baby your dad was sick and went to sleep. He did not leave us nor did he want to leave us, I will never lie to you.” Harry said holding Blake’s hands with his much larger ones seeing they were dainty just like Louis’.

He had to swallow the lump in his throat when all he did was lie to his child, but it was for his own good.

“I want to go home.” Blake mumbled pulling his hands away from his father’s.

Harry sighed as he nodded calling for the check and as soon as he had paid, they walked to their car getting in without another word. The ride home was silent with only the occasional sniffles coming from Blake in the backseat while all Harry could do was focus on the road and take them home. When they got there Blake quickly got out of the car and walked into the house going straight to his bedroom closing and locking the door before Harry could get in having noticed him following him.

“Blake, open the door.” Harry knocked hearing his sniffles getting louder.

“Go away!” He shouted.

“Bla…” Harry was interrupted by his phone and when he looked at the caller ID he saw Niall’s name on the screen, “Hello?” He answered making his way downstairs to the kitchen choosing to give his son time to calm down.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you if you’re still up for eating dinner together. Zayn and Liam already agreed, Liam has the day off so this is our chance to catch up plus he’s making dinner.” Niall happily said while Harry served himself mango juice.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. At their place, right?” Harry asked before taking a drink not feeling up to it but he had already promised his best friend.

“Is something wrong?” Niall asked, “You sound a bit down.”

“Same as always, Blake wants to see him and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can keep him away. He’s growing up and the older he gets the less I can control that part of his life.” Harry explained taking a deep breath at the end to try and calm his nerves down.

“I...Harry I honestly don’t know what to tell you.” Niall sighed feeling awful for not being able to help him.

“It’s fine Ni, Blake and I’ll be there tonight.” Harry smiled a little.

“Okay, we’ll talk after dinner. I can tell there’s something you want to tell us, Niall knows everything.” Niall said making Harry fully smile but only for a fraction of a second.

“I’ll see you then.” Harry said then hung up after Niall sad his goodbyes.

Harry spent the rest of the day in the kitchen until Blake walked in looking a bit sleepy and going straight to the fridge to get a water bottle. He ignored Harry as he drank his water and was just about to leave when Harry stopped him having had enough of it.

“We’re having dinner at Zayn and Liam’s, all your uncles are going to be there.” Harry informed him seeing he had been crying but said nothing.

“I don’t want to go.” Blake rolled his eyes frustrating Harry to no end.

“Just go wash your face and meet me here.” Harry ignored him getting up to do the same and just as he turned his back on Blake, he heard his voice.

“Why won’t you let me see him?” He whimpered and when Harry turned around and picked him up, he wrapped his arms around his neck resting his head on his shoulder nuzzling his face on the crook of his neck.

Harry walked with him towards the living room and took a seat on the couch with Blake still in his arms trying to find a way to explain things so his son could understand them. Wondering if he should just get him used to the idea of letting him go.

“You know your daddy’s heart is not beating anymore, right?” Harry asked feeling him nodding.

“He’s asleep.” Blake mumbled, “And Grandpa Mark froze him.”

“That’s right.” Harry’s eyes started stinging with tears at the thought of his son knowing things he shouldn’t, of having to go through things he shouldn’t at all.

“And because he’s frozen and in a very sterilized cold place, the institution doesn’t allow children to go in there. That’s why you have to wait until he wakes up.” Harry explained feeling him tightening his hold around his neck.

“But what if he never wakes up?” Blake cried harder breaking Harry’s heart.

“Then we have to let him go, baby.” Harry said hugging him tighter trying so hard to fill that hole in his son’s heart Louis had unintentionally left behind.

He let him cry it out with him silently doing the same until his son wiped his tears away and got up to wash his face wanting to go eat dinner. He stayed quiet on the way there until they got to Zayn and Liam’s house where he got out of the car and ran to Niall’s awaiting arms. Harry watched him pick his son up then Zayn and Liam joining in on the hug knowing that his son at least had them and will always do.

“Let’s go eat while food’s still warm.” Liam motioned for Harry to join them and once Harry was within arms length, he wrapped his arm around his shoulders and pulled him inside.

“Uncle Liam, you made my favorite pizza!” Blake exclaimed as soon as he saw it in the middle of the table.

“Of course! I even made two more so you can take some home.” Liam high fived him then took a seat next to Zayn and Harry.

“So! How was parents day?” Zayn asked Blake with a big smile on his face making Blake smile a little, “Did your dad behave and pay attention?”

“He did...sometimes.” Blake shrugged trying not to smile.

“Hey!” Harry pouted finally making his son giggle then heard his laugh when Niall tickled his side.

“I think his days of paying attention in school are over, Blake. You should have seen him back when he was in uni, studying twenty four seven.” Niall gave him a plate so he could serve himself.

“I like school too.” Blake shrugged.

Harry grabbed the plate his son passed to him saying a small thank you then two cups pouring juice for his son and himself. He let him chatter away glad that his friends were distracting him from Louis still unable to decide how was he going to break the news to him and his friends, how was he going to tell Mark he couldn’t do it anymore. They ate sometimes making conversation and when they were finished, Blake immediately went to play with the neighbor’s Golden Retriever now that his owners had taken him outside as soon as they had seen the nine year old.

“Feeling better?” Liam asked as soon as Blake was out of earshot.

They were sitting out in the front porch keeping an eye on the nine year old and the dog who were playing in the front yard.

“Not quite.” Harry said unable to look them in the eye.

“Is this about Louis?” Zayn asked. “Niall told us Blake was upset and so were you. What happened?”

“I can’t find anything. I can’t find a way to fix his damaged heart and if I don’t then there’s no use...he’ll- he’ll only die again within minutes. That’s if we even get his heart to start beating again.” Harry fiddled with his fingers trying not to cry when he felt his eyes stinging with hot tears.

“I know you’ll find something soon. You’re the best in the field, you’re a genius.” Zayn looked at him with desperate eyes only making Harry feel worse.

Zayn had been friends with Louis ever since they had started kindergarten and had taken the news about his death just as bad as Harry had. He still remembers the way Zayn had screamed when they all realized what had happened and the way he had almost punched Liam to get him to let go of him.

“Harry…” Liam felt a lump in his throat as soon as he saw Harry’s bottom lip trembling.

“I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep doing this to myself, I can’t keep letting Blake believe he’s coming back when he might never do that.” Harry finally dared himself to look at them hearing his son’s loud happy laughs.

“You can’t do that.” Zayn said through gritted teeth holding tight onto the glass of juice he was holding.

“Harry, a- are you sure?” Niall grabbed fistfuls of his own hair not knowing what to do at all much less say.

“I made my decision last night and I’m going to tell Mark as soon as I can.” Harry wiped away a tear when he felt it rolling down his cheek making the skin itch.

“No. You can’t do that.” Zayn said about to burst into tears not caring who was watching, “You can’t do that to him.”

“You need to understand, Zayn. He’s been there for nine years and every time I see him I can’t help but think that maybe that’s not what he wanted, that maybe he wants to rest in peace.” Harry tried to make him understand only seeing his face getting redder by the second.

“You think that’s what he wants? Or maybe that’s what you want after all. You promised him the world and failed to give him just that when you didn’t fight hard enough and now you’re telling me you’re giving up. That’s bullshit!” Zayn glared at him.

“Zayn, that’s enough.” Liam snapped at his husband of three years seeing the hurt on Harry’s face when more tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Don’t you think he deserves to rest in peace?” Harry asked, “We’re not God, we can’t keep bringing people back...there’s a reason why death happens. How do you think he’s going to react when he figures out it’s been nine years and he missed out on everything.”

“Yet you didn’t have problem those two times Mark did it but since it’s Louis, you have a problem now.” Zayn continued with his attacks while Niall watched Blake making sure he was busy, “If you have someone else then just says so, you don’t need to lie. You don’t need to pretend you still love him after all this years.”

“Zayn, that’s not it. Please, you have to under-”

“You fucking promised!” Zayn spat then got up going inside slamming the door shut.

“I’ll go talk to him.” Liam sighed squeezing Harry’s shoulder on his way inside.

“It’ll be okay.” Niall got up to sit next to him wrapping his arm around him, “He’ll understand, it will be hard but he will understand. Now we need to keep him from stressing out, he’s barely three months along and it’s not good for him and the baby.”

“Part of me thinks it’s the right decision but the other...the other doesn’t want to let go. Never wants to let go and I want him back, I want us to be happy again but I can’t stop thinking that maybe this is not what he would have wanted.” Harry finally started crying.

“It hurts but you know I’m with you until the end, you’re my best friend and I’m always going to be here for you.” Niall rubbed his back letting Harry rest his head on his shoulder and soak his shirt with his tears.

Zayn never came back out and while Harry waited for Blake to go say goodbye to him he couldn’t stop thinking if it was the right decision after all. Louis had been and still was the love of his life, he would always be it for him but there was only so much he could take. He wanted to stay in love with his sorrow, but he wanted to let it go, giving up in the end knowing he would never be able to.

Blake walked out snapping Harry out of his thoughts watching him get in the car and slam the door shut knowing Zayn had probably said something. He ignored the anger bubbling up in his stomach and instead waved at Liam who had apologized for Zayn’s behavior until he had convinced him that it was understandable.

He drove home in complete silence and as soon as they were home Blake said a quick goodnight then went to the bathroom to take a shower. He decided to take one too already exhausted but unable to wait to see his sister the next day, he was going to need her as well as their mother. When he was done showering he walked out of the bathroom ready to go to bed finding Blake in his bed already asleep holding onto his teddy bear.

“Goodnight love.” Harry mumbled kissing his forehead before he turned the light off and wrapped his arm around his son falling asleep minutes later.

That night he tossed and turned around dreaming of Louis and his sorrowful blue eyes that never seemed to stop following him wherever he went. They were the bluest he had ever seen them not wanting to forget the way they looked like, the way Louis would look at him. He didn't want to forget the burning feeling his fingertips would leave behind on his already heated skin.

 

_“I love you forever…” Louis whispered against Harry’s lips in their small cocoon of blankets, their bodies flushed with the other._

_“And ever.” Harry smiled before closing his eyes and leaning in to kiss him as gentle as he could not wanting to disturb the oasis of serenity surrounding them where they knew they were safe._

 

No. Harry didn’t want to forget him at all. He would always hold him in his beating heart whose strong beats were solely for him even though Louis’ had ceased to do so a long time ago.

He wanted to freeze time before it turned cold and the memories could dissipate as time went on. The moments went by learning that life goes on and the torturous stars took every breath he wished Louis held, and that the love in his heart was never ending.

He would never stop loving him nor forget him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> New tag. Mpreg!Zayn. It's my first time writing him knocked up and I like it so please don't hate.


	3. I only live in your memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of medical/scientific inaccuracies, I am aware of them but just go along with it please. Don't forget to comment! Enjoy!
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c_d4i4Yz0I

When Harry arrived at his mother’s house, Blake waited for him to park the car then got out running towards the front door where he didn’t even bother knocking. Harry sighed not knowing what else to do with him when his son had been acting weird around him ever since he had talked to Zayn. He didn’t want to think Zayn had told him something even though he knew he will never hurt his godson like that. He along with Liam and Niall only wanted the best for Blake.

He could already hear the children’s giggles as he walked inside the house he had helped buy for his mum along with his sister, their mother deserved the best after the many sacrifices she had to endure for them. The first person he saw was Gemma kissing his son’s cheeks until he was trying to push her away and she only kept doing it.

Her smile only got bigger as soon as she noticed him and without saying anything, she rushed to him wrapping her arms around him as she rubbed his back. It felt comforting like it always did but this time she stayed there longer after Anne had told her earlier that day.

“It’s going to be okay.” She kissed his cheek seeing him nodding before pulling him into her warm hold once again.

“Uncle Harry, I missed you!” David hugged his legs followed by an excited Michelle who looked up at him with bright green eyes.

“And I missed both of you too, lots and lots.” Harry bent down to pick them up with no trouble glad that he could at least still do that now that he wasn’t getting any younger.

“Harry! How have you been?” Michael asked coming from the kitchen after having cooked a big lunch for all of them.

“Great! Been a little busy but I’ll finally be able to relax this weekend and monday.” Harry gave him Michelle then a side hug.

“Uncle Michael promised to play football with us.” Blake happily announced finally looking at Harry, “And you’re going to play with us so the team is complete.”

“I want to play too.” Michelle pouted looking at her father.

“I know you are, EllaElle. You always play.” Blake quickly included her as he tickled her bare foot making Harry proud of him.

“Okay!” Anne walked out of the kitchen clapping her hands once, “It’s time to eat lunch, Michael and I cooked all of your favorites.”

She smiled when all three kids rushed to the kitchen taking their usual seats together not wanting to be apart after not having seen each other for a while. Lunch time was filled with laughs and loud chattering even when Blake started talking about Louis and how he knew he would be coming home soon. Harry had ignored the looks that all three adults had given him and instead focused on his son who always came first no matter what.

When they were done eating, Anne and Gemma kicked them out to the backyard so they could play football like they had promised. They followed when they finished cleaning the kitchen and took a seat on the porch putting cold water bottles on the table. Harry was for once having fun forgetting about his troubles at least for a few hours until he was exhausted and had to absolutely sit down to catch his breath.

“Drink some water, baby brother. You look ready to pass out.” Gemma pushed a water bottle his way seeing him opening it then chugging the whole contents down.

“Thanks.” Harry said still trying to catch his breath after he was done with it, “I thought I was going to faint out there, it’s a bit hot.”

“You’re just not used to it anymore, sweetheart. You spend almost all day inside, it will be good for you if you get out once in a while.” Anne reached for his hand smiling when he held on to it.

“Maybe Blake and I will go on a long vacation after we let Louis rest.” Harry looked down at their hands then back at them making sure to give them a smile.

“You’re just doing what you think it’s best, Harry. We fully support you.” Gemma wrapped her arm around his shoulders pulling him closer to her, “When are you telling Mark and Jay? Do you want us to be there?”

“I think I’m going to tell them tomorrow sunday, you’ll still be here and Blake can stay here with you.” Harry decided letting her know that he wanted to do it alone.

“Whatever you want, love.” Anne said before going back to watching her grandchildren.

They ended up staying there all day and when it was time to go, Blake had promised to return the next day to stay all day long. By next morning Harry had dropped his son off at his mum’s house without giving him breakfast knowing they wanted to feed him and after saying goodbye, he drove to Mark’s house.

He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time at the fact that now he had his own remote control to open the gate when back then he wasn’t even allowed to be within a ten mile radius from the front gate. He was ready to give it back knowing that after their talk, he would no longer be welcome in their home but he could care less when Mark had already taken the one person he loved.

After all, all life lived on if they ever loved it. Louis’ would live as long as they all lived. And for Harry, it will live for eternity.

When he got out of the car, Jay was already waiting for him at the door hugging him as soon as he was within arms length making him feel even more guilty. She led him to the living room where Mark was sitting reading a book, his gaze focusing on Harry as soon as he had seen them walking in.

“Harry, what a surprise! You never come here much.” Mark got up to shake his hand noticing the somber look on his face.

“Too many memories.” Harry said not caring how bad it made him feel, “I actually came here to talk to both of you. It’s important.”

“Of course!” Jay smiled, “Please sit down. Would you like something to drink?” She asked.

“No thank you.” Harry politely declined seeing her taking a seat next to Mark and in front of him.

“Is there something wrong?” Mark asked leaning forward.

“It’s about Louis. I know this will be hard for you as it is for me too but I...I think it’s time we let him rest in peace.” Harry slowly said waiting for a reaction and when he saw Jay’s tears and her small nod, he knew she agreed with him.

“Absolutely not.” Mark said in a firm and cold tone still sitting on the same spot.

“Mark…” Jay wiped her tears away, “It’s time Mark, you have to let him go.”

“No.” Mark insisted getting up from his spot then looked at Harry with a mixture of pain and anger in his eyes, “If you don’t want to continue with the research then fine, I’ll find someone else who will but I’m not letting him go.”

“It’s been nine years…” Harry started getting interrupted by Mark.

“And? If you don’t want to continue then so be it but I’m not letting him go, not when I know there’s a chance we can bring him back.”

“And if we do then what?” Harry asked, “Have you thought of the many health problems he’s going to have if something goes wrong? He’s been frozen for a long time now, I know he’s well taken care of but you never know. There’s too many variables involved when it comes to successfully reanimating him.”

“Harry please, you can’t do this to him.” Mark begged surprising both Jay and Harry when he had never done that before.

“He already missed nine years of his life and he’s only going to keep missing more the longer I take. How do you think he’s going to react if he ever wakes up and sees that everything has changed, that we got older and he stayed the same age. That the one month old baby he left behind is now a nine year old child and his best friend got married three years ago to Liam and they’re expecting their first child. He missed out on everything.” Harry got up from his spot to stand in front of Mark seeing his eyes full of tears.

The room was completely quiet as Jay watched both men hoping for Mark to agree with Harry. Her son deserved to rest in peace, not be trapped in a capsule like he had been for the past nine years where he couldn’t do nor feel a thing.

“At least...at least give me time to think about it, t- to say goodbye to him.” Mark’s voice trembled and just like that, he left the room trying to accept it leaving them in a complete silence.

“Thank you.” Jay looked at Harry wrapping her arms around herself, “Lou deserves to rest in peace but Mark never listened to me, I- I should have never allowed him to freeze him when I knew there was no hope.”

“I tried Jay, but no matter what we do a heart will never regenerate itself, it always ends up killing the mice when testing them and there’s not enough time for a heart transplant.” Harry took a step forward and seconds later wrapped his arms around her crying when she started crying again.

“Brain d- damage.” Jay said in between sobs, “He needs his heart to start pumping blood as soon as p- possible after reanimation...Mark told me.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry bit his bottom lip trying to stop hurting yet he never succeeded.

“I’ll arrange a funeral...everything that needs to be done so you can focus on Blake. He’s going to need you.” Jay looked up at him then took a step back needing to sit down.

“I broke my promise, I lied to him for so many years.” Harry took a seat next to her staring straight ahead.

“You had hope Harry, there’s nothing wrong with that. You had hope just like Louis hoped to see you again.” Jay said feeling Harry’s gaze on her, “He tried to run away and go to you, the night he went into labour he tried…” She put a hand over her mouth to hold her sobs in.

“I should have fought harder, I should have taken him far away from here as soon as he told me he was pregnant but I was so stupid wanting to wait until graduation.” Harry closed his eyes remembering that cold rainy october day. It was the day his life changed for the good and the bad.

 

_He kept looking at the many people rush in and out of their apartment building wanting to avoid the cold rain when he saw him. He was wearing black sweatpants and his own maroon hoodie he thought he had lost the month before and was already soaking wet. Harry rushed to the door meeting him halfway there and without saying anything, took him back to his apartment glad that Niall was gone when he saw he had been crying._

_“Baby, what happened?” Harry asked trying to get Louis out of his wet clothes but couldn’t when Louis pushed his hands away then wrapped his arms around his stomach, “Louis…”_

_“We h- have to go, we can’t stay here any longer. When my dad finds out h- he’s going to kill me..” Louis kept his gaze on the floor refusing to look at Harry only lifting his hand to wipe his nose with his sleeve._

_“What are you talking about? Come on, we have to get you out of those clothes or you’re gonna get sick.” Harry placed his hands on his cold cheeks starting to get worried when Louis started crying._

_“No! We have to leave, Harry please.” Louis sobbed then his nose scrunched up putting a hand over his mouth when the smell of food drifted through the open balcony door._

_Harry watched him run to the bathroom then followed seeing that he hadn’t even made it to the toilet when he saw him on his hands and knees by the door. He was gagging and trying to get away from the small puddle of vomit when he stopped moving then threw up again letting out a soft cry soon after he was done._

_Harry couldn’t do anything other than wet a small towel and wipe his sweaty face with it before helping him up so he could rinse his mouth. He gave him an extra toothbrush and when he was done, he helped him to his bed letting him change his clothes then lay down on it._

_“I’m gonna go clean it up, I’ll be right back.” He kissed Louis’ forehead then left seeing him getting under the covers._

_When he was done cleaning it up he went back to the bedroom where Louis was still in bed and staring at the ceiling, tears rolling down his cheeks. Harry wiped them away but it was futile when more kept rolling down then without thinking got under the covers with him wrapping his arms around his slim waist._

_“I’m pregnant.” Louis blurted out feeling Harry stiffening next to him, “Three months. I went to the doctor this morning with Zayn, that’s why we weren’t in school.”_

_“Okay.” Harry swallowed the lump in his throat not knowing what else to say. There was nothing to say._

_“Okay? Harry it is not okay, we have to go before my dad finds out or he’ll probably make me give it up for adoption.” Louis turned on his other side letting Harry hug him again._

_“Lou...he wouldn’t go that far.” Harry pressed his lips against Louis’ forehead feeling how cold it still was._

_“You don’t know him like I do. Please, we have to go.” Louis begged on the verge of tears when Harry stayed quiet._

_“I- I can’t.” Harry finally said after what seemed like forever._

_“It’s your baby too, you have responsibilities with it.” Louis sniffled completely upset yet made no move to push Harry away._

_“And because I have responsibilities with our baby and I want to be with both of you like the family we’ve always wanted, we have to stay here. You’re almost eighteen and your dad won’t be able to do anything about it, we’ll just have to keep it to ourselves for a little bit.” Harry kissed his forehead feeling Louis nodding._

_“I love you.” Louis said too nervous to say it the way they were used to.._

_“I love you more, love.” Harry tightened his grip around him careful around his stomach now that he knew his and Louis’ baby was in there._

 

Now he knows he should have listened to Louis when a month later Mark found out after hearing a conversation between Louis and Zayn. Now he regrets not listening to him when after deciding to run away, Louis who was already five months pregnant, never showed up and that’s when hell started for both of them. He's still going on. Jay was still sitting next to him staring straight ahead wondering if she should go and see him one more time or remember him as what he used to be. Her precious happy boy she will always keep in her heart with the only reassurance that one day they will see each other again.

“It was so sudden Harry, we- we thought it was the pregnancy, that it was a high risk pregnancy due to all the stress. And when he refused to even see Mark so he could see what was wrong, he thought it would be best to leave him alone. We didn’t know that the stress itself was damaging his heart and it was killing him until it was too late. He didn’t have enough time for a transplant...I just wished Mark would have left him be with you.” Jay said still not finding the will to move.

“You said he tried to run away...when he went into labour…” Harry trailed off wondering if he wanted to know or if it was best to never do so.

“He was supposed to be in bed already so we thought nothing of it until it was too late and he was already halfway to the front gate. It wasn’t close at all to the house and it was raining, we tried t- to go after him but he just kept going faster. H- He ended up slipping and his stomach took all his weight...we had to take him to the hospital for an emergency C- Section.” Jay had her eyes closed trying to get that image out of her head, the image of her son getting hurt in attempts to get away from them.

They should have let him go long before that, but it was too late and they couldn't go back in time.

“God…” Harry leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees grabbing fistfuls of his own hair trying to get rid of the nausea he was suddenly feeling.

His heart was beating too fast as he tried to calm down by taking deep breaths but it was futile when he felt bile rising up in his throat. He ended up rushing to the nearest bathroom where he emptied out his stomach until he was dry heaving and Jay was rubbing his back unable to stop crying. He tried to get up but couldn’t when as soon as he attempted to do so, the room started spinning around him hearing Jay shouting for Mark when he collapsed on his side seeing dark spots on his vision.

“Harry? Can you hear me?”

Harry felt warm hands on his cheeks and when he looked up he saw Mark in front of him looking worried until he nodded and slowly started getting up. He was still in the bathroom then leaned against the wall taking deep breaths when Mark instructed him to do so.

“I’m okay.” Harry finally said when he was sure he was feeling better.

“Did you skip breakfast again?” Jay asked him in a disapproving tone and when Harry looked down, she got up and made her way to the kitchen to make him something to eat.

“Don’t do that again.” Mark gently told him seeing Harry nodding.

Harry didn’t like to think sometimes Mark acted like his father since his own father had left him and his mother and sister before he was even born. He hated the way he sometimes and in rare occasions saw him as a father figure when he should hate him but he couldn’t, he disliked him yes, but couldn’t hate him. He couldn’t when he had helped him in so many ways even if it had been out of guilt but with the years, Jay had told him how he had started seeing him as a son. Harry thought he was just trying to fill that hole in his heart Louis had left behind even if he was the only one to blame.

“Won’t happen again.” Harry shrugged seeing nothing but sadness in Mark’s eyes.

“I made a few calls...we’ll unfreeze him wednesday morning to give everybody who wants to say goodbye time to see him and do so.” Mark informed him as he helped Harry up, “Jay and I will make funeral arrangements but you have the last word on everything.”

“Thank you. I- I know it’s hard for you but this is what we should have done Mark. He deserved a proper funeral and now he’s getting it.” Harry placed his hand on his shoulder getting surprised when he saw the lone tear rolling down Mark’s cheek before he quickly wiped it away.

“Just...please don’t keep us from seeing Blake.” Mark said.

“I will never, he’s your grandson and he loves you, loves coming here and spending time with you and Jay.” Harry was quick to reassure him seeing the small grateful nod Mark sent his way.

“Come on, you need to eat something.” Mark let Harry lead the way until they were in the kitchen where he excused himself saying he had things to do.

Harry spent a few hours accompanying Jay when Mark left without a word and they didn’t ask already knowing where he had gone to. When he finally left, he went back to his mum’s house trying to find a way to tell Blake his father wasn’t coming back after all. He had broken his promise, had given him hope when there was none left and now he was going to rip apart every shred of it. He was going to make his world fall apart after all the many promises of days spent just the three of them together. He was going to break his heart just like his had been broken years ago when Louis left them.

When they got home later that night and Blake was asleep without a care in the world, he grabbed a beer and sat down in the living room with the tv on. He did nothing but drink and drink until he was too tired to keep his eyes open with the realization that he had failed Louis once again heavy in his heart.

Monday morning he woke up on the couch with the tv still on and a half empty bottle of beer on the coffee table in front of him. He groaned when he tried to get up regretting drinking the night before after Blake had gone to bed still unaware that Louis wasn’t coming back like he had kept telling his cousins the day before. When he finally got up he bent down to pick up the three bottles from the floor plus the one on the coffee table making his way to the kitchen. He looked at the clock on the microwave furrowing his brow when he saw it was still seven in the morning.

He threw the bottles away then turned the tv off before heading upstairs to check on Blake seeing him still asleep deciding to just go to bed too. Sadly, Gemma and her family had gone back home the night before and now all he wanted was to sleep then spend the rest of the day with his son before they had to go back to school and work the following day. As soon as he was in bed, he closed his eyes and fell asleep where he didn’t have nightmares like he had been doing for the past nine years.

~*~

“Papa, wake up! I made breakfast.”

Harry groaned trying to tune the voice out until he absolutely had to open his eyes seeing a blurry figure in front of him. He closed his eyes again feeling like his eyelids were glued shut when he was having trouble to keep his eyes open and was still tired from crying as he drank wanting to choke on the beer or maybe drown in his own misery until his heart stopped beating just like his.

“You smell bad, take a shower and brush your teeth.” Blake scrunched up his nose seeing his father doing the same.

“You brush your teeth too...I can smell your morning breath all the way here.” Harry said turning around on his other side hearing Blake’s heavy and dramatic sigh before he felt him getting on top of him.

“You have to wake up, I’m bored.” Blake whined beginning to poke Harry’s side until his father grabbed him and pulled him next to him trying to cuddle him as he giggled, “Papa, you stink!”

“You stink too, we’re both stinky poos.” Harry hugged him closer feeling him squirming until he settled down, “Let’s go eat that wonderful breakfast you made for us.” Harry finally sat up with his son still in his arms.

“Okay! You’re going to love it, it’s your favorite.” Blake got up pulling Harry with him.

He never let go until they were in the kitchen and that’s when Harry saw the plate full of cereal in what was supposed to be his bowl. There was milk spilled around it and the Cocoa Puffs were already soggy but he smiled taking a seat and ate them anyway seeing how proud Blake was of himself.

“Can we watch all the Iron Man and Captain America movies today? Please?” Blake asked pouting his bottom lip.

“And we can make popcorn and later today order a pizza…” Harry trailed off fighting a smile when Blake smiled already looking forward to it.

“Yes! Thank you thank you!” Blake cheered then went serious all of a sudden, “But we have to shower and brush our teeth first.” He gave Harry a stern look making him laugh.

When they were finished eating, Harry sent Blake upstairs to take a shower while he put the dishes away so he could put the dirty ones in. When he was done he went upstairs and straight to his bathroom where he brushed his teeth then got in the shower trying to ignore how bad he looked. Dark circles and bags under his eyes due to the physical and emotional exhaustion he was feeling after many years.

After he was done he made his way downstairs then into Blake’s game room down the finished basement since it was more comfortable seeing the main menu of _Captain America: The First Avenger_ already playing on the tv but Blake was nowhere to be seen. He figured out he was in the kitchen making popcorn when he heard him dropping something then a tiny yelp deciding that it was best if he was there to supervise him.

“How many minutes was it? Three?” Blake asked as soon as he saw Harry from where he was standing up on a stool in front of the microwave.

“One minute and thirty seconds, you’re gonna burn them if you do three minutes.” Harry stopped on the doorway letting his son do it wanting to give him some independence.

“One minute and thirty seconds, one minute and thirty seconds.” Blake repeated not wanting to forget, accidentally pressing on the popcorn icon, “It says three minutes...I pressed the wrong one!” He started freaking out then moved out of the way when Harry rushed to his side.

“You press cancel then the one that says timer, then you press the numbers one three and zero. And when you’re sure that’s the time you want, you press start.” Harry explained seeing his pride and joy nodding along.

“That’s easy.” Blake said letting Harry pick him up then put him on the floor, “Can we have soda?” He asked already making his way to the fridge.

“Maybe later when I order the pizza, it’s still too early.” Harry said giving him a look that told him not to argue with him.

“Okay.”

When the popcorn was ready they finally sat down to watch the movie and later that day Harry ordered pizza letting Blake drink a sprite but only for that day. They were already on the first Iron Man movie when they were interrupted by Harry’s phone loudly going off in the living room where he had left it the night before.

“Hold on, buddy. Let me see who it is.” Harry paused the movie then got up and jogged upstairs to the living room where he found it on top of the coffee table.

He was still trying to catch his breath when he saw it was from the Lab making him furrow his brow in confusion since he never got any calls from there, “Hello?”

“Dr. Styles, this is Dr. Schooley. We need you to come to the research center as soon as possible, there’s something you need to see.”

“The mice…” Harry trailed off.

“You have all the data locked away in your computer, we need you to come see it for yourself.” Dr. Schooley insisted.

“I- I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Harry said before hanging up.

He went back to the game room where Blake was waiting for him realizing that he was going to have to take him with him when both his mum and Jay were busy.

“Blake, I need you to change out of your pajamas. We have to go to the hospital real quick.” Harry told him as he turned the tv and dvd player off.

“Where you work?” Blake asked seeing Harry nodding, “Cool! You never take me to you work.” He got up and ran upstairs trying to hurry up, the less time he took the faster he was going to get there.

He was already waiting by the garage door when Harry got there then left after a small argument where Blake wanted to sit in the front seat. He ended up sitting in the backseat then waited for Harry to get out of the car first when they got to the hospital seeing the underground parking lot a bit busy.

Harry went straight to the research center in the east wing of the hospital as he showed Blake around and when they got there he saw Dr. Schooley in the reception area talking with Dr. Silverman, one of his female colleagues. As soon as they saw him, their gaze settled on Blake then Dr. Silverman smiled at him seeing Blake returning the smile. She couldn’t help but think just how much he looked like his father Louis since she was in charge of making sure everything was running smoothly.

“I’m here. What happened?” Harry asked when he reached them then looked down at Blake, “Son, why don’t you go with Dr. Silverman. She’s going to show you around, ask her if she can show you the heart I told you about.”

“Hi Dr. Schooley.” Blake greeted the older man then looked at Dr. Silverman, “Hi Nora! Could you please show me the heart? I heard it beats and everything! I’ve never seen a heart beating before, I bet it looks so cool.” Blake said rather excitedly almost cheering when she nodded and grabbed his hand to take him there.

“Three out of the six mice dropped dead just a few hours ago.” Dr. Schooley informed him as soon as Blake was gone seeing Harry closing his eyes and fisting his hands, “Don’t beat yourself over it, Harry. You knew they all had congenital heart disease...they were born with it.”

“What about the other three? Which group is the one who didn’t make it?” Harry asked fearing the worst.

This was his last hope.

“Group B is still alive and showing signs of improvement...at a quite rapid pace.” He said making Harry look at him in surprise.

“That’s the group we injected with the tissue-specific stem cells through the vein. Are you sure they’re helping regenerate the heart’s damaged tissue?” He asked still unable to believe it, “Their immune system hasn’t rejected them?”

“It doesn’t seem like it at the moment, we’ve been seeing a rapid recovery ever since you injected them.” Dr. Schooley gave him a warm genuine smile knowing what it meant for Harry.

“They- they had enough healthy stem cells to be able to save it, to regenerate it.” Harry said more to himself then looked at the man, “This...this is a scientific breakthrough, Schooley. Imagine all the people we’re going to be able to save if the MHRA approves it and lets us start clinical trials!”

“All those children born with heart problems.” Schooley gave him a watery smile after his own newborn had passed away from Congenital Heart Disease just days after his birth, “And you get to give Louis another chance, Harry.”

“We need to run a few more tests.” Harry ignored what he had just told him not knowing what else to do.

When he went to check on the mice he had secretly named, he was pleased to find out that they were indeed recovering. He stayed there for a bit longer knowing that he had to let Mark know but didn’t know if that would change his mind about Louis.

He found himself suffering an inner turmoil not knowing if the best decision was the one he had already taken or if it would be better to wait and see. He wanted nothing more than to have Louis alive and in his arms again but not knowing what the consequences could be after nine years was enough to keep him from making that decision.

He didn’t know the long term health consequences Louis might have have to face after being frozen for nine years if the stem cells were enough to regenerate the damaged tissue of his heart. He didn’t know how Louis was going to mentally end up after learning he had been dead and frozen for nine years if he ever woke up again.

He didn’t know and it killed him to know so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	4. Can you save me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it and please don't forget to comment, I really wanna know what you guys think. I listened to the song on repeat while writing the ending of this chapter. Enjoy! :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9vEwpLL1y4

After Harry had buried the mice feeling a little upset for their death, he decided to go back home unable to stop thinking about the group of mice that had made it and where in the process of a full recovery. Blake couldn’t stop talking about all the cool things he had seen while he tried to keep up knowing that he had to let Mark know. He just hoped nothing would go wrong with the mice or else he’ll be in for disappointment and heartbreak all over again,

“I thought we were going home. You didn’t tell me we were coming over to grandpa Mark’s house.” Blake narrowed his eyes at Harry, “I didn’t bring my poker cards and I promised him I was going to next time I came over.” He crossed his arms over his chest while they waited for the gates to open.

“You’re going to stay with grandma Jay anyway, I have to talk to grandpa Mark and it’s going to take me a while.” Harry explained thinking that it was now or never.

“Enough time for me to convince her to bake me some chocolate chip cookies?” Blake grinned as he scratched his arm feeling a rash coming in

“If she has time and if she wants to, don’t be rude about it and politely ask her if she can.” Harry warned him seeing him nodding and noticing him scratching his arm, “Stop scratching it, you’ll make it worse.”

Blake didn’t say anything and as soon as Harry had parked, he got out of the car and ran inside leaving the door open for Harry. He loudly sighed after the many times he had told him not to leave the door open and when he walked inside, he could hear him loudly chattering in the kitchen where he assumed Mark and Jay were.

“...and then I got to see a heart beating outside the body! Isn’t that cool, grandpa?” Blake said as he stuffed his face with watermelon and Mark smiled and nodded along wondering why Harry had been in the research center.

“That’s amazing, champ!” Mark genuinely told him making Blake grin.

“Harry!” Jay exclaimed, “Would you like some watermelon, love?” She asked him.

“I would love to.” Harry smiled taking a seat next to Blake then started eating from the plate Jay placed in front of him, “Mark, I need to talk to you...when you’re done eating of course.” Harry said seeing him nodding.

When they were done they made their way to Mark’s study having left Blake back in the kitchen with Jay after the little boy had convinced his grandmother to bake him chocolate chip cookies, with his help of course. As soon as Harry had closed the door he turned around to see Mark looking nervous just like he was. He didn’t know how to even start the conversation since it was already hard on him.

“I was informed today that Group A dropped dead…” Harry started getting interrupted by Mark.

“Again? God…” He rubbed his hands on his face pacing back and forth in front of his desk.

“But Group B, the one we used the tissue-specific stem cells on...they’re recovering. You told me you froze healthy stem cells from Louis’ heart before freezing him, and if the MHRA approves it and the clinical trials then maybe there’s hope.” Harry explained seeing Mark carefully listening to him before his eyes filled with tears and a smile slowly appeared on his face.

“Harry...son, you did it. You did and...you hate me and you probably don’t care but I’m so proud of you. Not because there’s a chance to bring Louis back, but because you’ve succeeded in everything you’ve set out to do.” Mark genuinely said making Harry get a little emotional when the praise had come from a father figure.

“I honestly thought I would never find something, and I gave up but now I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking that this is it, that we can bring him back, but I also can’t stop thinking about the consequences. Mentally, emotionally and physically.”

“There’s many factors.” Mark agreed, “He’s been there for nine years so we don’t know the state he’ll be in if he ever wakes up.”

“I don’t want to bring him back and have him hate us for what we did to him, I don’t want him to suffer at all.” Harry confessed keeping the tears at bay seeing Mark doing the same even though he tried to fight it and hide it.

“You have the last word, son. You decide if you want to unfreeze him and let him rest in peace or unfreeze him and try reanimating him. What I think doesn’t matter anymore and I understand that now even if it’s too late, it’s you and Blake who matter and I’m not gonna go against whatever you decide.” Mark placed his hand on Harry’s shoulder squeezing a bit for comfort before he let go.

Harry took a deep breath taking a seat on one of the chairs with his hands on his face not knowing what to do at all. He wanted him back with them, he wanted Blake to finally meet and have his father around. He wanted to finally get his happily ever after with Louis, he wanted to be happy with him and have that family he’s always wanted. The family they’ve always wanted ever since they had told their first I love you’s to each other.

He still remembered the many times they had imagined the big family and house they were going to have. Louis had taken a liking to cooking thus wanting a big kitchen equipped with everything, something Harry had made sure it came with the home he bought. The many more kids they were going to have a few years later after Blake's birth and what they were going to name them. How they wanted a little girl to spoil her extra and how their baby boy was going to be the best big brother ever.

He wanted all of that, but the thought of Louis facing many obstacles after reanimation was enough to keep him from doing so. He didn't want him to suffer at all but the need to have him back in his arms overpowered his own morals. So taking a deep breath and pushing those thoughts out of his mind, he looked up at Mark and made his decision.

"We should wait for the MHRA to approve it and if they do we start clinical trials as soon as possible then we...we unfreeze and try reanimating him if all goes well. But just once, if it doesn't work then it doesn't." Harry decided and seconds later, Mark nodded hoping for the best.

"When are you going to call them?" He asked.

"We'll wait a few days to see if the mice keep improving while I gather enough data then I'll have them get involved. I just hope they approve it, this is our last hope." Harry got up from his spot barely hearing Blake's laughs, "And if Louis ever wakes up...hopefully he'll understand, hopefully he'll accept Blake even though he no longer is the baby he left behind." He expressed his sudden worries then started chewing on his bottom lip.

"Blake is his son, Harry. He loved him with everything he had and I'm sure he won't stop loving him now just because he's older." Mark said taking a seat on his desk looking at a picture of Louis when he had turned seventeen years old.

"I'm not sure how he'll react to the rest of us but as long as he accepts Blake then I can't complain." Harry gave him a small lopsided smile seeing Mark smiling a little.

Harry ended up leaving a few hours later wanting Blake to spend time with his grandparents, and when they got home he was already full after Jay had asked them to stay for dinner. The next few days for Harry seemed to pass by slowly with the fear of the mice dying or the organ regeneration completely stopping.

He had gone to see Louis again unable to help himself when he told him all about the mice, almost as if Louis could hear him yet he knew that wasn't the case. He had yet to let the rest of his friends know about it not wanting to bring their hopes up in case it didn't work. Something that had become his biggest nightmare having replaced his old ones.

To his relief, the mice only seemed to keep getting better and just like that he was in front of a miracle. It was as if they had never been born with a diseased heart when they were now completely healthy. He was still mourning the other many dead ones he had had to use before but it had been necessary.

After getting the MHRA involved, days turned to weeks that to Harry were going by painfully slow when they were taking forever to conduct their own researches and tests so he could start his own. By September Harry was sure he was going to go insane when his son had gone back to insisting that he wanted to see Louis only to get the same answer from Harry leading to arguments then the silent treatment.

~*~

“Blake, open the door or I swear I’ll take it off. I don’t care if you need your privacy, you don’t deserve it if you’re gonna act like a brat!” Harry yelled at his son as he repeatedly knocked on the door, each knock stronger than the one before.

“Go. Away.” Blake growled from the inside grabbing his teddy bear and throwing it at the door, “Louis left us, didn’t he? And you’re a liar just like him!”

“I’m not going to tell you again, Alexander! Don’t make me go get the keys.” Harry shouted trying not to lose his patience but the longer it took Blake to open the door, the more his patience was wearing thin.

“No! Jeffrey was right and he left us, he’s an asshole!” Blake let out a loud sob not knowing what to believe, he knew they were keeping something from him yet couldn’t figure out what it was no matter how hard he tried.

What was so wrong about seeing him now just like they did if it was true that he was frozen in his grandfather’s institution. He stopped crying when he could no longer hear his father outside the door and that’s when he started panicking. He ran to his closet when he heard Harry’s footsteps and seconds later the doorknob jiggling before the door opened and a furious Harry walked in. He looked around then got on his knees to look under the bed then his gaze settled on the closed door of the closet quickly getting up to open it.

“I didn’t mean it!” Blake cried as soon as his father had opened the door expecting a punishment but instead of his father yelling at him, he only felt his arms around his small body holding him tight against his much larger one.

“I don’t care how upset you are, but don’t you dare call your father something as awful as you just called him. Do you understand?” Harry pulled him away a little seeing how red his face and eyes were from all the crying then hugged him again rubbing his back.

“I’m sorry!” Blake sobbed against his chest, “I want him…” He continued crying completely breaking Harry’s heart.

“I’m trying, Blake.” Harry said against the side of his son’s head, “I’m really trying but you have to understand that things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. As sad as it sounds, we don’t always get our happy ending...our lives aren’t like the fairytales Nana Anne reads to David, Michelle and you.” He tried to explain as best as he could in a way so he would be ready to let him go if things didn’t go as planned.

“But you p- promised, papa. You told me h- he was coming back.” Blake pulled away to look at him with teary blue eyes.

“I know I did, baby. I know and I’m sorry, I’m sorry I kept promising you he’s coming back when even I don’t know if he is, I’m trying so hard to make it possible. You need to understand that.” Harry finally gathered enough courage to tell him once and for all.

“But you’re so smart, papa. You can do anything you want when you use your brain.” Blake said so sure of himself, “You even had me listen to Mozart when I was a baby because his symphonies make you smarter.”

“That was debunked, bud.” Harry chuckled, “It makes you take a liking to his classical music but it won’t make you smarter.” Harry hugged him closer.

“I like them...kids in my class think I’m weird and sometimes make fun of me because I said I like his music.” Blake confessed.

“Ignore them, every single one of us have our own taste in music and what others think shouldn’t matter to you. If it makes you happy then there’s nothing wrong with you enjoying a little bit of Mozart or any other kind of music you would like.” Harry kissed the top of his head running his fingers through his soft hair, “If they keep doing it let me know and I’ll talk to the teacher and their parents.”

“I got it, papa.” Blake’s eyes widened not wanting his father to get involved. That would be embarrassing for him.

“Okay then. How about we go and have dinner?” Harry asked getting up as he wiped away his son’s tears.

“Race ya!” Blake got up as fast as he could then ran out his bedroom while Harry smiled and let him win now that he was a little happy even though he knew it wouldn’t last.

Soon he would start asking again, it happened every single time no matter what.

A week later he was on his way back home sometimes glancing at the passenger's seat where a box sat wondering if he was even doing the right thing. As soon as he got home, his mum’s car was already gone since she had a doctor’s appointment and Blake was okay staying ten minutes alone.

When he parked and turned the engine off he made sure the garage door had closed then grabbed the box and made his way inside where he could hear the tv. He walked into the game room where Blake was sprawled on the couch eating Reese's pieces and watching Regular Show sometimes laughing when something funny happened.

“I’m home.” Harry said placing the box on the floor where he was still standing by the door.

“I thought you were never going to come home. I was about to call the cops and an ambulance.” Blake said never taking his eyes off of the tv, “I thought I had become an orphan.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Harry chuckled remembering when Louis used to do the same thing.

He just hoped he could do it again one day.

“What’s in the box?” Blake asked finally acknowledging his father.

“It’s a present for you.” Harry answered seeing the confusion written all over his face.

“But it’s not my birthday.” Blake got up from his spot getting even more confused but when he heard the small yaps coming from inside the box, he gave Harry a thousand watt smile kneeling down next to it.

“He’s a boy.” Harry crouched down next to them loving the way his son was smiling.

“You got me a puppy!” Blake’s eyes started watering as he hugged the Golden Retriever close to him then hugged Harry making sure not to squeeze his new friend.

“And you get to name him, all by yourself.” Harry wrapped his arms around him rubbing his back.

“He looks like,” Blake paused to look at the playful little ball of fur giggling when he started licking his chin and wagging his tail, “Harley! Uncle Niall has a Harley and he always gives me rides!” He exclaimed then smacked his hand against his mouth widening his eyes.

“Oh thanks for telling me, bud!” Harry chuckled not even minding that Niall hadn’t listened to him when he told him not to let Blake ride it with him when his son was so happy, “Next time he lets you ride with him just be very careful, okay.”

“I will, papa. Thanks for getting Harley for me, it was the best present ever!” Blake hugged him again then let go to hug Harley and kiss the top of his head, “I love you.” He told him feeling happier than ever knowing that now he had a friend and wasn’t going to feel alone waiting for his father to get home from work.

“You are very welcome, son.” Harry smiled at him, “How about we go and get everything he’s going to need?”

“Yes! Let me put my shoes on.” Blake quickly got up leaving Harley on the floor next to Harry.

The puppy was quick to follow Blake everywhere he went and soon they were out the door and into the car where Blake had the puppy on his lap holding him tight against his chest. When they got to the pet store Harry grabbed a cart letting Blake hold Harley always showing him all the toys and collars so he could pick the ones he liked. As soon as they were finished Blake was excitedly showing Harley all the things they had gotten for him.

They got home a few minutes later where Harry had to carry all the bags inside when Blake was too busy playing with Harley. When he was done he started dinner smiling every time he would hear his son laughing noticing that he hadn’t asked about Louis once. He was still waiting for that call and couldn’t help but start to get desperate fearing that they weren’t going to approve the treatment much less let him start clinical trials. They finally sat down to eat leaving Harley to walk around the kitchen always staying on Blake’s side of the table.

Another week passed by and Harry only kept getting more desperate knowing they were wasting time and that was something he couldn’t deal with anymore. He had waited nine, almost ten years now for that moment where he would get to hear Louis’ heartbeat again and feel his warm smooth skin against his fingertips. He would get another chance to see his blue eyes again and run his fingers through his silky hair like he used to do, it helped Louis relax and fall asleep.

He had to admit he was scared of what Louis’ reaction would be to everybody and everything. He was scared that upon Louis seeing him, he wasn’t going to like what he saw, that he will fall out of love with him. It was one of Harry’s worse nightmares frightening him to the point of leaving him shaking and trying to catch his breath feeling his heart about to beat out of his chest. He was afraid of Louis leaving him to be with someone his own age even though he was legally twenty seven but his body and appearance was that of an eighteen year old.

But there were many more, more where he would reject their son and to him it will hurt more than Louis rejecting him and no longer wanting to be with him anymore. There were a million but the worst of them all was the reanimation itself not working when they only had one chance to do it. He tried to think positively but it kept getting harder not knowing what to expect after Louis had been frozen for so long. He was well preserved but there were many factors they had to take into consideration. Things that he didn’t like to think about.

That wednesday morning in the middle of september he found himself laying down on the couch in his office trying to take a much needed nap. He closed his eyes but seconds later opened them again staring at the white ceiling unable to stop looking at it. He sighed rather loudly then got up to review his patients medical history to be more informed than he already was when the phone started ringing. He answered without even looking at the caller ID saying his last name almost automatically.

“Dr. Styles, this is Dr. Hudson.” A gravelly voice was heard through the phone making Harry sit up straight.

“Dr. Hudson, it’s an honor to hear from you.” Harry said knowing that was it, the man on the phone held his and his son’s future in his hands. But most important of all, he held Louis’.

“It is an honor to be speaking with the Harry Styles, your research in organ regeneration has left me speechless. You are just what we need in the medical field. I’ve never had the pleasure to hear about someone like you, such a genius.” Dr. Hudson said then continued not letting Harry talk, “We’ve decided to give you and your team the go ahead to start clinical trials. We wish you the best, Dr. Styles.”

“Thank you!” Harry said unable to stop smiling then said his goodbyes before hanging up. He stayed there for a few minutes then got up to let Mark know.

As soon as he had let Mark know, clinical trials started as soon as possible taking almost all of Harry’s time. He knew it was wrong to not spend as much time as he used to with Blake but he needed to gather as much information as he could. He needed to hurry up and help Louis. He wanted to give him another chance. He wanted Louis back with them, he wanted the family he could never give Blake.

When the selected patients started getting better without needing a heart transplant since ther own heart had slowly regenerated, Harry had announced that they were ready to try it on Louis. Sure, there had been side effects such as aggressive nausea and vomiting but he had found the medication to alleviate it to a comfortable enough symptom without affecting the organ regeneration. That was the day Harry was seen as their savior by many whose heart was too damaged and in need of a transplant. He was what those in need needed and had waited for too long.

Even though Harry was more than ready, he couldn’t help but feel nervous afraid of something going wrong. He was afraid of reanimation failing or something going wrong after it. He had avoided telling their family members and friends about finally unfreezing Louis not wanting to give them false hope. He couldn’t get their hopes up for nothing. He hated to have Jay still believing they were finally going to have a funeral, he hoped it wouldn’t be necessary.

When the time finally came he found himself in his office in _Tomlinson’s Cryogenic Institute_ unable to even move an inch when soon enough, Louis will be among the living once again. He wasn’t able to see him when they were getting him ready to unfreeze him yet didn’t worry much when Mark was in charge. Louis was completely safe with him and Harry didn’t have the courage to see him while they were doing it. He was going over Louis’ file one more time already having memorized it after all those years obsessing over it when he heard a knock on his door then someone opening it.

“Dr. Styles, they’re ready for you.” Dr. Silverman said showing no emotions at all making Harry feel afraid of the unknown, “They were waiting for him to completely thaw before starting the blood transfusion.” She informed him seeing the way he flinched at the term.

“He’s not a piece of meat.” Harry glared at her making her look down at the floor in shame, “He’s my son’s father...my...my…” He trailed off.

The sudden realization of not knowing what he and Louis were anymore hit him with enough force to make him breathless.

“The love of your life, your soulmate. The person you fell in love with and worked so hard to try and bring back.” Dr. Silverman said seeing Harry’s pained expression still thinking about the word she had used, “I’m sorry Harry, but those are the terms we use no matter how unpleasant they are. Won’t happen again.”

“I- I overreacted, I’m sorry.” Harry rubbed his hands on his face then made his way towards the door, “We should go, I still need to get ready and we don’t have much time. I should have been there through the entire process, I just- I didn’t have enough courage for it.”

“I understand.” Dr. Silverman said as she fell into step with him.

They walked the rest of the way without saying anything until Harry found himself getting ready and when he was done, he walked into the operating room clad in surgical scrubs, shoe covers, cap and mask. He stopped when he saw him on the operating table completely bare with only a drape sheet covering his lower half seeing his hair was wet and his skin didn’t look as pale as it had been for the past nine years.

What caught his attention managing to steal it away from Louis was the blood bag hanging from the IV pole among the others at a table waiting to be used. He then followed the cannula until his gaze settled on his chest where it was inserted into a vein in his chest pumping blood in as fast as it could not wanting to waste any time. He wanted to get closer and be able to touch him but couldn’t when his feet wouldn’t move recognizing Mark as the surgeon running his glove clad fingers through Louis’ wet hair.

The room was a bit chilly to him but soon warmed up a little at just the ideal temperature to keep them and Louis comfortable. As soon as Louis’ heart was beating again, he would need to be warmed up as quickly as possible to prevent hypothermia.

“It’s almost done. Once they give us the go ahead you can start reanimation.” Dr. Silverman informed him giving Harry a little push sighing in relief when Harry finally reacted and made his way there.

“You’ll be okay, son. And when you wake up, I hope you can forgive me.”

Harry heard Mark whisper when he was close enough to them feeling somehow sorry for him but not enough to be able to fully forgive him himself. He finally willed himself to look at Louis and when he did, he felt the air leaving his lungs seeing how beautiful he truly was, the way his eyelashes fanned over his pale skin that was starting to turn a bit purple.

Dark circles under his eyes, Harry had expected them knowing very well that Louis wasn’t healthy at the moment. It felt like forever where all Harry did was stare at Louis while they were filling him up with blood until there was a small amount left in the last bag of blood. He felt cold when as soon as they connected him to the heart monitor, all they heard was the long beep signaling there was no heartbeat.

“He’s ready for treatment then reanimation.” A doctor informed them making Harry and Mark look at each other.

That was it. That was what they had been waiting to finally be able to do for the past nine years, and now that it was happening they only had a one chance to bring him back.

“Dr. Styles,” Dr. Schooley said, “When you’re ready.”

Harry nodded at the same time he took a deep breath quickly getting to work and while he injected the stem cells into Louis’ bloodstream through the IV, he couldn’t help but look at the C-section scar on his lower stomach. It still looked red and he hated the fact that it was one more thing Louis was going to have to heal if he even made it. Once he was done, he handed the utensil back to a nurse then stepped back a little taking the paddles already ready for him.

“Stand clear.” Harry said loud and clear seeing them moving away as he brought the paddles closer to Louis.

He felt the pain, even if it was only in his mind, he felt it when Louis’ body slightly shook with the shocks that did nothing to get his heart beating again. He tried again quickly looking up at the monitor when he heard the small beep sound only to flatline again as he got ready to try again.

He couldn’t and wouldn’t give up. Not again.

“C’mon, Lou. Please…” He whispered as he put effort into it when he tried one more time, “Please, come back.” He continued whispering, kept repeating it almost like a prayer until they were answered.

His eyes filled with tears when they heard the constant beeps telling them Louis’ heart was beating again then Mark was quick to place an oxygen mask on him to get more oxygen into him. Harry sighed in relief looking at the monitor then back at Louis unable to believe he was actually breathing again and his heart was beating once again after so many years.

Nurses quickly placed electrical blankets over him to try and warm him up while Harry handed the paddles over to a male nurse. He shared a look with Mark before taking a step closer to Louis and just when he was about to touch him, to caress his soft cheek, he heard it making the room fill with that haunting sound and the many voices of the medical staff. He didn’t caught up on what was going on when the only thing he could do was look at Louis until he did breaking his heart all over again.

Louis had flatlined once again and this time, there was no going back and nothing they could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some faith on me and don't come after me!!
> 
> Thoughts? :)


	5. Come raise the dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like the chapter and if you want to you can listen to the song, one of the many I listen to while writing this story The picture is from one of the scenes! Its not edited yet so please let me know if you find any mistakes. Don't forget to comment! Enjoy! :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdOC7X4NoaQ
> 
> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/blanket%20fort_zpscmelm9n5.jpg.html)

**Louis had flatlined once again and this time, there was no going back and nothing they could do.**

 

_Harry could feel Louis’ warm body against his own where they lay in the warmth of the blankets in his bed. He snaked his arm around Louis’ waist placing his palm right on his baby bump feeling the small flutters knowing how active their son was in the mornings. He placed a small kiss on the nape of Louis’ neck letting his lips linger for a few seconds then moved away when Louis stirred._

_“What time s’it?” Louis asked, his voice sounding raspy from the lack of use as he moved closer to Harry wanting the warmth he could provide._

_“Six...go back to sleep, both of you.” Harry answered pulling Louis closer to him as much as he could rubbing circles on the front of Louis’ four month pregnant belly feeling the tiny flutters lessening until they completely stopped._

_“Love you forever…” Louis said letting out a tiny giggle at the end that made Harry’s heart flutter with so much love for the smaller boy in his arms._

_“And ever.” Harry said kissing the back of Louis’ head one more time before both of them fell asleep._

 

“Huard! Get the defibrillator ready, increase t-” Harry rushed out grabbing the paddles but was stopped by Mark.

“Harry! Harry stop!” Mark nearly shouted when Harry kept trying to pull away, “Son...there’s nothing else we can do. He’s gone, he-”

“No! I- I promised Blake! I promised him!” Harry pushed him away and when Mark didn’t try to stop him again, he gave out orders using greater force to apply the shocks after a nurse had removed the oxygen mask and the blankets.

With each time he tried to revive him, the more he was starting to lose hope until he didn’t have to keep trying anymore. The steady beeps suddenly filled the room with the monitor showing his heartbeat quickly stabilizing until they were constant and even. All they did was stand there staring at the monitor then the miracle laying on the table until Harry reacted putting the paddles away before making his way back to Louis and placed the oxygen mask and blankets back on him.

He could see his chest slowly rising and falling then slowly raised his hand finally caressing his cheek finding it warm and the skin still as soft as ever. Even softer than silk itself. Without any warning whatsoever, he burst out crying right then and there not caring who was watching him. All he could do was stare at Louis then leaned down to kiss his forehead finding it a bit on the cool side knowing that soon he was going to warm up.

“Lou…” He whispered grabbing his hand in his unable to wait for the day where he would hold it back just as tight as he was holding it.

He noticed the rest of the team exiting the room including Mark leaving him alone with Louis whose heartbeat was already beating like it should, like it should have never stopped doing. He started running his fingers through his almost dry hair taking in the way Louis’ lips were starting to turn a bit rosy and how he wasn’t as pale as before. He still looked the same as the last time he had seen him wondering how Louis was going to react to him once he woke up and saw him.

“I missed you so much, love. You have no idea how many times I dreamed about this day.” Harry started crying again kissing his forehead one more time before he pulled away and called a few nurses over to get him ready and take him to a recovery room.

Once he was there and well taken care of by qualified medical staff, Harry set out to find Mark doing so in his office later that day. He walked in after knocking and hearing a come in seeing Mark sitting on a chair by his desk reading over a file who Harry assumed was Louis’. He watched him taking in how red his eyes were probably after having had a good cry just like he had had a few minutes ago.

“Now all we have to do is wait until he wakes up.” Mark said snapping Harry out of his thoughts, “We have to be patient since his body needs to adjust.”

“When are we going to tell everybody? I’m assuming you’re going to tell Jay soon.” Harry took a seat on the couch.

“I actually called her half an hour ago and she’s on her way. You can choose when we tell the rest, I’m assuming you’ll want to wait to tell Blake until Louis wakes up.” Mark finally made eye contact not even bothering to hide that he had been crying. Why would he when his son was finally alive again.

“I’ll tell everybody else as soon as possible but not Blake, I don’t want him to see him like that. He’ll be meeting him for the first time and I want Louis to be awake when that happens.” Harry informed him seeing Mark nodding in agreement.

“I think it’s for the be-” Mark started getting interrupted by a knock on the door then Jay walked in looking as confused as ever.

“What’s going on?” Jay asked seeing the two men who looked like they had been crying until Mark got up.

“I- I think it’s best if you see it.” Mark said motioning for Harry to follow them.

Mark wrapped his arm around Jay’s waist with Harry walking next to them and the closer they got, the more nervous Harry was getting not knowing how Jay was going to react. When they finally made it there they had to be sterilized then Harry was the first to walk in per Mark’s request seeing Louis looking the same with an oxygen mask over his face. He was wearing a new hospital gown and was covered up to his chest with a few blankets to keep him warm.

He didn’t realize he had been standing there for a while just watching Louis until the door opened again making him turn around seeing Jay making his way inside with Mark following. As soon as her gaze settled on Louis and the beeping sound reached her ears, she brought both her hands over her mouth and let out a muffled sob taking a step back.

“We unfroze him this morning and Harry managed to bring him back. He’s alive Jay, our son is finally alive again.” Mark placed his hands on her shoulders seeing her taking a step forward.

“Lou...baby.” Jay started crying harder not knowing if it was a good idea to get closer to him or just stay where she was.

“He’s responding well to treatment. Now all we have to do is wait until he wakes up.” Harry told her moving out of the way so Jay could get closer to him.

His eyes filled with tears the moment Jay rushed to him taking his hand in hers then kissed it as she cried only getting louder. To her if felt as if time had never passed seeing her still eighteen year old son finally alive again after nine painful years.

She took a seat on a chair still holding his hand then hid her face on his stomach unable to stop crying while Mark took a seat on his other side holding his other hand. Harry slowly slipped out of the room and headed to his office to try and calm down before calling his mum to ask about Blake glad that it was saturday.

“Hello love.” Anne answered the phone sounding too cheerful and when Harry heard Blake laughing and Harley’s barks, he knew why making him smile a little.

“Hi mum! How’s Blake doing? He hasn’t given you any trouble, has he?” Harry asked taking a seat on the couch.

“My grandbaby is an angel, love.” Anne happily said, “Are you almost done with what you had to do?”

“Almost…” Harry hesitated, “I’ll be there in a few more hours, we can go out to dinner if you want to of course.”

“I will love to, sweetheart. It’s been so long since we spent proper time together, just let me know when you’re on your way so we can get ready.” Anne said.

I will mum, I’ll see you later. Love you both.” Harry said then ended the call after his mother said her goodbyes.

For the next hour he focused on paperwork fighting the urge to turn on the monitor and see what was going on in Louis’ room after they had placed cameras to keep a closer eye on him. When he was finished was when he finally decided to go home as soon as the clock struck five pm.

He put everything away then got up and walked out of his office making sure to lock it after it then headed to Louis’ room wanting to see him one more time. If he could, he would spend the night with him but Blake needed him. After getting sterilized he knocked on the door to make sure he wasn’t interrupting then walked in when he heard Jay’s voice telling him to do so.

“Hi sweetheart.” Jay greeted him as she wiped her face with her sleeves.

Her eyes were red and her face was blotchy from all the crying she had been doing yet still try to smile at him. Harry grabbed her hand as soon as she reached for him then sat down on the bed next to Louis and in front of her.

“How are you feeling?” Harry finally asked her seeing her watching Louis.

“Good! Still feels like a dream to be quite honest but the more time I spend with him the more I convince myself that this is real, that he’s really here.” Jay tried to smile but more tears ended up coming out instead.

"I don't think how I feel compares to how you feel but I still can't believe it. It does feel like a dream." Harry said letting out a shaky breath at the end, his hand taking Louis' smaller one.

"Mark told me what happened. Thank you for not giving up on him." Jay got up to hug him staying there for a few seconds before she pulled away from him and sat down back on her spot.

"I would have never forgiven myself. I- I couldn't lose him again, Jay." Harry said looking at Louis then reached to fix the oxygen mask.

"Do you think he'll wake up soon?" Jay asked already afraid of what was going to happen, of Louis' reaction towards them and the situation.

"His heart is regenerating itself, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to revive him and Mark says his body needs to adjust to everything so I think it might be a while." Harry informed her seeing her nodding.

That was better than her son being dead.

"Are you leaving now, sweetheart?" Jay asked him after a while of sitting there in a comfortable silence only hearing the beeps of the heart monitor.

"I have to go see Blake and I promised mum I was going to take them out to dinner, I want to tell her about Louis." Harry said, "But I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Take your time and tell your mum I'll go visit her one of these days, it’s been a while. I'll be here, Harry. I'm not going anywhere." Jay smiled when she saw the hesitation in Harry's eyes.

"I'll be here tomorrow as early as I can." Harry finally got up as well as Jay.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick." She said but Harry knew she was just giving him alone time with Louis.

With Jay gone, Harry took a seat on her old spot and grabbed Louis' warm hand rubbing circles on the top of it. He kissed it then pressed it against his cheek somehow feeling a sense of comfort just by feeling his skin against his own. He lowered it to kiss it again when his heart rate picked up making him wonder if he could hear them. He got up to check on him seeing rapid eye movement right away understanding that brain activity was picking up again. He chewed on his bottom lip wondering if he was dreaming old memories or if his mind was making up dreams, he didn't know what to hope for.

"You're okay, darling. It’s okay, you're safe here." Harry murmured as he held Louis' hand in his and ran his fingers through his hair with his right one until his heart rate normalized again.

“I’m gonna go but I promise I’ll be here tomorrow. I...I love you.” Harry kissed his hand again then his forehead before leaving glad that Louis wasn’t going to be alone.

He called his mother on his way home and when he got there he went straight for a shower wanting to tell her about Louis but couldn’t when Blake could hear them. They ended up going to Anne’s favorite restaurant where Harry told her she could order anything she wanted knowing that his mother would order the cheapest thing they had there.

After years of her trying to save money anyway she could to be able to raise her children, she didn’t like them spending too much money on her. Of course Harry thought she deserved only the best and would always give her gifts no matter how many times she would tell him it wasn’t necessary.

“Papa, do you think Harley is okay in his cage?” A worried Blake asked Harry soon after the waiter had placed a plate of food in front of him then Anne and Harry.

“He’s okay bud, we left water, food and a few toys with him so don’t worry.” Harry said giving him a smile that had Blake nodding a few seconds later.

“Nana said she’s going to make him a christmas sweater.” Blake giggled, “And she makes the best, not like the ugly ones they sell at the store.”

“He wants a snowman one, I’ll try to make it as cute as I can.” Anne chuckled then grabbed a fork to start eating her food.

They ate without making much conversation and by the time they were done Blake had cheered when Harry ordered chocolate cake for dessert ignoring the looks his mother was giving him. Chocolate cake had been Louis’ favorite and he always loved when Anne would bake it just for him. It brought memories back to her, painful ones when to her she had also lost one of her own.

When they were finished, Harry paid the bill then he drove them back home where Anne decided to spend the night after seeing how nervous her son was. Harry sent Blake up to his bedroom so he could shower and get ready for bed soon after they had gotten home and the first thing he had done was take Harley out of his cage.

He had insisted on having him sleep in his bedroom that night when it started raining hard enough to scare even Blake and when Harry agreed after Blake had begged for fifteen minutes straight, he had ran up to him and hugged him thanking him a million times. When he was finally in the shower was when Harry made his mum sit on the couch in the living room with a cup of tea in her hands getting ready to explain to her. He looked at her trying to find the right thing to say when it was already so hard for him getting emotional every time he thought about him and how he almost lost him again.

“What’s bothering you, love? You’ve been acting strange ever since you got back from the hospital.” Anne got up to sit next to him putting her cup of tea next to his then took his hands in hers.

“Louis.” Was all Harry said still trying to figure out how to tell her that he was alive.

“Love, I know how much this hurts you but think that he’ll finally rest in peace.” Anne told him.

“Mum...he’s- he’s alive…” Harry finally told her and when her eyes filled with tears he knew he had done it all wrong.

“Don’t joke about it, Harry Edward!” Anne scolded him still unable to believe it.

“I would never joke about this, mum. I found a way so the heart regenerates and weeks after clinical trials Mark and I decided to unfreeze him and...he’s alive mum. He- He’s finally here again, that’s why I was away all day today.” Harry told her hoping she’ll believe him now.

“Oh my god.” Anne brought her hands over her mouth as the tears rolled down her cheeks now believing her son when he was crying happy tears, “Are you going to tell Blake?” She asked him.

“Not until he wakes up and we tell him everything, he has to get used to everything and I think it’s best if Blake sees him when Louis is in a better state.” Harry explained seeing her nodding along glad that his mother agreed with him.

“When do you think he’ll wake up?” Anne asked after she had wiped her face with a kleenex.

“His heart stopped beating again after reanimation but I managed to bring him back meaning regeneration is working and we also have to take into consideration that his body is getting used to the environment surrounding him so it will be a while. All there’s left to do is be patient.” Harry gave her a smile then lifted their hands to kiss her hand forever grateful for everything she did for him.

“Do you think Mark and Jay will let me see him?” Anne asked then her eyes widened, “Jay! How is she doing? I’m assuming you told her.”

“We told her a few hours ago and she’s with him right now, no one can and will move her away from him. You should have seen her mum, it was very emotional when she saw him.” Harry said remembering how she had reacted.

“I can only imagine. You still need to tell the guys and Gemma, she’s going to come here first chance she gets.” Anne chuckled then out of nowhere started crying already too overwhelmed.

“Mum don’t cry, everything will be alright and hopefully he’ll be here with us to celebrate christmas and his birthday.” Harry said unable to wait for that day.

“His birthday…” Anne trailed off suddenly wondering if they’ll be celebrating his nineteen or twenty eighth birthday.

“What are you thinking?” Harry asked her.

“Are we going to celebrate his nineteen or twenty eighth birthday?” Anne asked him immediately regretting it when Harry stiffened next to her.

“Well...he’s legally twenty seven but physically he’s only eighteen, whatever he feels comfortable with.” Harry answered.

“I’m going to bake him a chocolate cake.” Anne wiped her tears away.

“You can go see him whenever you want to. Jay told me to tell you she’ll visit you one of these days.” Harry told her as soon as he remembered.

“We haven’t seen each other in a while.” Anne sighed hearing Blake’s footsteps on the stairs seeing Harry picking his cup of tea up and bringing it close to his lips.

“Nana, are you going to tell me a story?” Blake asked as soon as he walked into the living room with Harley in his arms.

“Of course, baby! Let me just put this away, so why don’t you say goodnight to your papa and wait for me upstairs.” Anne suggested grabbing her cup heading to the kitchen.

“Okay!” Blake nodded then turned to look at Harry, “Goodnight papa, I love you.” He set Harley down to hug Harry.

“Goodnight buddy and I love you too.” Harry said letting him go watching him pick him up again then walk upstairs making him smile at the way he was holding the squirmy puppy in his arms rather tightly.

“I’m gonna go tell him a story then go to bed after. Goodnight sweetheart, I love you.” Anne said coming back from the kitchen hugging her son.

“Goodnight mum, love you too.” Harry hugged her then watched her go upstairs.

He made his way to the kitchen to put his cup in the dishwasher then walked upstairs to get ready for bed and when he finally went to bed it was harder to fall asleep knowing that Louis was back in the clinic alive and breathing. He closed his eyes and soon a smile made its way in when he started remembering all those afternoons spent with Louis. He chuckled when he remembered when they spent Louis’ birthday together just a week before he was taken from him, that was the day where earlier that day they had planned their escape thinking they would be happy forever.

 

_“Harry, what’s going on? Where are you taking me?” Louis asked, his arms in front of him trying to touch something after Harry had blindfolded him._

_“It’s a surprise, darling.” Harry answered already too excited for his own good._

_He was guiding him through his small apartment making sure he wasn’t going to fall or bump his belly onto a wall or something and as soon as they were where he wanted them, he stopped. He hoped Louis liked the surprise or he was screwed when they were about to celebrate a first birthday together, one of the many more to come._

_“Can I take it off now?” An impatient Louis asked._

_“Go ahead, my love.” Harry said with so much hope in his voice it made Louis smile as he reached to take it off._

_He gasped as soon as he removed it seeing the blanket fort in front of him with a lot of pillows and blankets covering the floor making it look so comfortable. There were twinkly lights hanging from the makeshift ceiling and going down the walls giving it a warm glow when the lights to the whole apartment were turned off._

_“Harry...y- you made this?” Louis asked as he turned around, his eyes already watery suddenly feeling very emotional._

_“I did...well, Niall helped me a little before he left to spend the night with his girlfriend. Do you like it?” Harry asked feeling a bit nervous, “You once told me how much you wanted to build and sleep in one.”_

_“I love it! This is the best birthday present ever! I’ve never built or been in one, just saw pictures of them. Thank you thank you!” Louis threw himself at Harry kissing all over his face and finally his lips before he pulled away, “Can we go in now?” He asked with such a bright smile that made Harry’s heart beat a little faster and all he could do was nod._

_Louis grabbed his hand and pulled him inside trying to be as careful as he could not wanting to destroy such masterpiece in his eyes. He settled down in the middle of it with Harry right next to him then let him bring the extra blankets over them when he noticed all his favorite snacks and a brown teddy bear. It had a red bow wrapped around its neck and Harry couldn’t help but smile when Louis quickly reached for it hugging him close to him._

_“This is the best birthday ever.” Louis turned to look at Harry grabbing one of his hands, “Baby Blake and I love it, it’s so simple yet so meaningful. I love you, Haz.” Louis leaned forward to kiss him._

_“I love you more and we do love simple after all, darling.” Harry chuckled as soon as they pulled back._

_“Just imagine all the blanket forts we’re going to build every year, the biggest ones during christmas.” Louis commented unable to wait for it, “Blake will love them and so will the other many babies we’re going to have.”_

_“Just wait for it, in a few years you’re going to build them like a pro. It takes skill after all.” Harry wrapped an arm around Louis’ smaller shoulder kissing the side of his head._

_“I can’t wait, love.” Louis sighed as he rubbed small circles on the left side of his belly, “We’re going to be so happy.”_

 

Harry turned over on his side wiping away the bittersweet tears that had come out without his permission when he remembered, hoping one day they would be able to do that. He still remembers when they ended up making love right there where it had felt so magical and like nothing and no one would ever ruin their happiness. A few hours later he finally fell asleep already wanting it to be morning so he could go and see Louis already missing him more than ever.

When he woke up that Sunday morning he quickly sat up when he saw it was already nine in the morning. He could smell the pancakes and after pondering for a few minutes he finally got up and headed to the bathroom. He quickly brushed his teeth then did his business before washing his hands already too hungry as he made his way downstairs scratching by his belly button. When he got to the kitchen Blake was already sitting there eating his pancakes while his mother was making more.

"Good morning, love." Anne cheerfully greeted him giving him a plate full of pancakes.

"Morning, mum. Thank you." Harry pressed a kiss to her cheek feeling her patting his bum as he walked to the table just like she used to do when he was little, "Morning, Blakey." Harry ruffled his hair smiling when Blake gave him a sleepy smile.

"Morning, papa." Blake said covering his mouth just in time before yawning, “What are we doing today?” He asked after it had passed.

“You’re going to stay with nana for a bit while I go to the hospital, I need to be there for a bit.” Harry informed him seeing him pouting already.

“But you already went yesterday and you say people don’t work on sundays, I wanted to play football with you then watch movies.” Blake dropped his fork expecting him to stay like he always did.

“It will only be for half the day and before you know it, I’ll be back and we can do whatever you want.” Harry reached to grab his hand sighing in frustration when Blake pulled it away and went back to eating his pancakes already giving him the silent treatment.

Anne shook her head but didn’t say a thing opting for just sitting down and eat her pancakes until they finished and Blake rushed to rinse then put his plate in the dishwasher before running upstairs and slamming the door closed. Harry decided to ignore him intending on having a serious talk with him later on but now he had to go to the clinic and see Louis. He said goodbye to his mother thanking her again for staying with his son then drove to the hospital sending a group message to Niall, Liam and Zayn telling them to meet them in Mark’s clinic.

When he got there he left his things in his office reading a message from Mark telling him they had moved him to a more comfortable room that morning so Louis and people visiting him could feel more comfortable. When he walked in he greeted both Jay and Mark who left him alone with Louis who still looked the same but according to his file, he was responding well to treatment. He was still with him when he got a message from Niall telling him they were in his office after Harry had asked a receptionist to take them there.

“I’ll be right back, darling. I have to go talk to our friends and tell them you’re back, they’ll probably want to see you.” Harry told him then left after kissing his forehead.

When he walked into his office Niall was sitting on the couch and Zayn was in between Liam and him looking around and not saying anything. Zayn was the first one to look at him and by the looks of it he was still upset when he plastered himself to Liam’s side who only wrapped an arm around his husband. Harry wondered if he was feeling okay enough for him to tell them the news without risking his or the baby’s life.

“Hey Harry!” Niall waved at him while Liam only smiled at him and Zayn stayed quiet not doing anything, “You wanted to talk to us?”

“I do, I have something to tell you guys.” Harry said taking a seat on his chair then rolled it to be in front of them focusing on Zayn who had a hand on his still flat belly, “Zayn, are you feeling okay?” Harry asked making him furrow his brow in confusion.

“I- I’m doing great.” He answered then let out a loud sigh, “I want to apologize for the way I acted a few weeks ago, I was really upset but now I understand that you haven’t had it any easy. It’s your decision and I have to respect it no matter what. I’m sorry.”

“I understand Zayn, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Harry said then took a deep breath.

“Do we get to see him one more time before...before Mark unfreezes him?” Zayn asked, his eyes already shiny with unshed tears as well as Liam’s and Niall’s. That was it.

“Please don’t interrupt me, okay?” Harry said then continued when they nodded, “Mark unfroze him yesterday…” Harry started but was interrupted by Zayn’s muffled sob as he hid his face on Liam’s chest.

“Christ…” Niall muttered trying to take deep breaths feeling his throat closing in and Liam wasn’t doing any better yet tried to be strong for all of them.

“I found a cure and after clinical trials we decided to try it on him, reanimation failed the first time after his heart started beating again but I managed to bring him back. He’s in a private room right now alive and breathing...his- his heart is beating again.” Harry rushed to tell them wondering why he was doing it all wrong when Zayn started crying harder, he just hoped not to fuck up with Blake.

Y- You’re not lying?” Zayn timidly asked him and when Harry shook his head no, he got up and wrapped his arms around him crying on his shoulder as Harry rubbed his back.

“Would you like to see him?” Harry asked pulling away when Zayn nodded.

Zayn wouldn’t stop crying the whole way there and as soon as they were sterilized and changed into scrubs, Harry finally allowed them inside where they stood by the door unable to move. They still couldn’t believe it and when the beeping noise reached their ears, Zayn finally took a step forward and shyly reached for his hand pulling it close to his lips as his eyes filled with more tears.

“H- Hey Lou.” He whispered unable to take his eyes off of him finally grasping the fact that he was indeed alive, “You have no idea how much I missed you, Lou. You- You’re alive, you’re alive.” He sobbed unable to stop crying, feeling warm arms around him knowing they were Liam’s by his cologne.

Niall finally gathered enough courage to get closer followed by Harry who was smiling as he wiped away his tears when all five of them were finally together again. They stayed with Louis for a while not wanting to leave just yet when they had never been strong enough to see him while frozen. Harry just hoped for him to wake up soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	6. Too early my valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter and don't forget to comment! :) I would love to know what you think. Enjoy! :)

Zayn ended up staying until well past the afternoon when Liam said it was time to go since they hadn't eaten anything and when Niall invited all three for dinner including Blake, they all agreed to go. Harry was going to meet them in the restaurant when he had to pick Blake up and thank his mum for staying with him almost all day. He had asked them not to say anything about Louis being alive in front of Blake and when they agreed, Harry went to get him already sensing the tense atmosphere when he got home.

Anne was sitting on the couch in the game room right next to Blake who was still wearing pajamas and was watching tv refusing to look at Harry. He had his teddy bear in his arms and Harley next to him not caring that Harry didn't want him him on the furniture until he was trained. Harry smiled at his mum as soon as they made eye contact seeing her doing the same before he kissed her cheek and she did the same. He tried to hug Blake but his son pushed him away going back to watching the tv ignoring his father's hurt look. Harry knew he had it coming.

"Where were you? With Louis?" Blake asked as he glared at him and all Harry could do was look at him, "Whatever, not like I care."

"Blake, don't be rude to your father." Anne scolded him, "And Louis is your father too so respect him."

"No he's not." Blake rolled his eyes then got up with his teddy bear and Harley then left the room.

"I don't know what else to do with him." Harry groaned as soon as he heard Blake's door slamming closed. He was seriously thinking about taking it away but didn't want to anger his son even more than he already was.

"He spent all day blaming Louis because you won't spend time with him, said he's all you care about when you shouldn't because he left you and didn't want you and him anymore." Anne told him already worried about her grandson, "Are you sure no one's telling him those things?" She asked seeing Harry leaning back then heard him sigh as he stared at the ceiling.

"He's mentioned a Jeffrey telling him that Louis left us and that's why he won't come home. I'm gonna have to go to the school and talk to his teacher and the principal. I can't have him despising Louis, I'm sure it will break his heart."

"Maybe...maybe you should tell him the truth...or at least half of it." Anne suggested moving closer to her son bringing him into a hug Harry didn't know he needed until she wrapped her warm comforting arms around him.

"I'm scared mum, I'm scared that Blake won't want him if he sees him like that, that he'll be scared of him. What happens after Louis wakes up and wants to see him? What happens if Louis rejects him because he no longer is the baby he left behind. I'm scared they will want nothing to do with the other." Harry buried his face on the crook of her neck.

"You have always made sure to tell Blake how much his dad loves him, how he never meant to leave him and that no matter what, he will always love him. Blake knows that and I'm sure he loves his dad a lot, he's just a little upset right now and whoever is brainwashing him isn't helping at all. Louis will love him no matter what because Blake is his son, a parent loves their children no matter what." Anne assured him but as much as Harry wanted, it was hard for him to believe her.

"I hope you're right, mum." Harry sighed snuggling closer to her.

"How did it go with the boys?" Anne asked then her eyes widened, "You texted me you're going to dinner with them, you're going to be late." She said as she pulled away hearing her son whining at the loss of contact like a small child.

"It was very emotional, but a very happy emotional. Zayn didn't want to leave Louis alone but we convinced him that he had to with the promise that he'll get to see him everyday." Harry told her then got up from his spot to hug her, "Thank you for watching him, you're an angel mum. Love you so much, you're always there for my kid and I."

"Oh sweetheart, don't thank me." Anne hugged him back, "I'm your mum and I love you so much. You're my youngest baby, my sweet sweet baby boy." Anne squeezed him harder feeling Harry nodding in agreement, "Now, go talk to Blake and go to that dinner, I'm going home. Tomorrow while Blake is in school i'm going to visit Louis, I called Jay and she told me I can go whenever I want to. Gemma's coming next weekend but I haven't told her why, I want you to be the one to tell her."

"I have surgery tomorrow so I won't get to see you at all." Harry told her.

"I'll tell him you'll go see him later." Anne kissed his forehead.

When she finally left it was after she had kissed Blake goodbye then lightly pushed Harry into his bedroom where he saw him on his bed reading a book. He sighed then went to sit next to him putting an arm around his son until Blake gave in and snuggled up against him.

"How about we go have dinner with your uncles and when we get back we can play any video game you want." Harry suggested knowing he had gotten his attention when Blake closed his book seeing it was _The Tale of Despereaux._

"Any video game I want?" Blake asked.

"Any game you want. I, Harry Styles, pinky promise." Harry held out his pinky finger.

"Gentleman's agreement?" Blake asked once again as he held his pinky finger out but not hooking it with his father's quite yet.

"Gentleman's agreement." Harry agreed as he nodded smiling when his son did and finally hooked their fingers together giggling when neither of them wanted to pull back until Harry tickled his son making him squeal.

Blake quickly changed into jeans and a sweater then after putting his shoes on, they finally left to the restaurant seeing the rest just getting there. He quickly went to sit next to Zayn touching his almost four month belly after his uncle had told him that it was okay. He ordered a hamburger and fries accompanied with a sprite as he talked about how his papa had gotten him a puppy.

"His name is Harley." Blake told them then turned to look at Niall, "I named him after your motorcycle, uncle Niall. You can all visit him when you can, he loves meeting new people."

"We'll go one of these days, Liam would love to meet him and so do I. Right, babe?" Zayn looked at Liam who smiled.

"Of course! I bet he's the fluffiest thing ever." Liam reached for Blake behind Zayn's back poking his side.

"Uncle Liam, stop!" Blake giggled wrapping his arms around his stomach, "Please."

"Okay okay, but only because you asked nicely." Liam smiled then yelped when Niall poked his side.

"Harley is a great name, Blake. I taught you well, my child." Niall gave him a thumbs up making Blake smile even bigger so proud of himself.

"I think I'm going to take him to get him trained next weekend." Harry commented leaning back to let the waiter put the plate of food in front of him seeing the flirty look he sent his way.

Harry chose to ignore it and instead gave him a polite smile and thanked him. He started eating his food and when he looked up he saw Niall looking at him with an amused smile. He smiled too at the thought that they already knew he didn't have eyes for anybody else but Louis. It completely fascinated his friends how he had lived in celibacy for the past nine years never finding someone to spend time with.

If you asked Harry, he will tell you it was easy to stay that way when he was too busy studying or taking care of his son. He didn't want to betray Louis seeing it as cheating when he was still Louis' and Louis was his. Sure, there were times where he would get off in the shower or in the middle of the night after making sure he wouldn't get caught by Blake. He never tried dating again still waiting for Louis so they could have that family they always talked about and promised each other.

"I think papa will let me." Blake said just as Harry snapped out of his thoughts having missed most of the conversation between Zayn and his son.

"I'm sure he will, bub." Zayn smiled at him then looked at Harry expecting an answer.

"I'm so sorry, but what was that? I was obsessing over my food." Harry chuckled.

"I'm gonna go shop for baby stuff tomorrow and Liam can't go with me because he's going to be busy with work. I asked Blake to come with me and he said yes but first we have to ask you. So can he please come with me?" Zayn asked giving him a hopeful look.

"Of course he can! Do you want my mum to drop him off at your house tomorrow after school?" Harry asked.

"I'll pick him up if you don't mind." Zayn wrapped an arm around Blake as they smiled at each other, "I'm still on the list of people who can pick him up, right?" Zayn asked already worried over not being able to pick him up.

"Of course you are, and I don't mind. I'll just let my mum know and if you don't mind I'll pick him up after work so you don't have to drive all the way to her house." Harry said smiling when Zayn did.

After they agreed they continued eating until it was time to go and Blake said goodbye to all of his uncles. On the way home he couldn't stop talking about all the video games he had telling his father it was hard to pick one until he settled on fifa knowing he was going to beat him. When they finally got home Blake was fast to get Harley out of his cage spending time with him while Harry took a shower and when he was done, he sent Blake to take one. When they finally sat down to play it didn't take long for Harry to lose seeing Blake bouncing up and down on the couch cheering then making fun of him.

"How!?" Harry exclaimed seeing he had lost for the fourth time, "Okay, you're either cheating or you're a wizard. Time to come clean, boy."

"Papa! I'm not cheating, I'm really good. I promise." Blake gave him a scandalized look, "Nana plays better than you." He giggled.

"I actually believe she does." Harry chuckled seeing Blake putting the controller down next to him then started rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"Are you tired, bud." Harry asked him turning the Xbox off when Blake nodded, "C'mon, let's brush our teeth then we can go to bed."

"Can I sleep with you?" Blake asked as he raised his arms for Harry to pick him up sighing when he did and took him upstairs.

"Yeah, you can." Harry told him.

He went to his bathroom to retrieve Blake's toothbrush then walked to his own putting Blake down who grabbed the toothpaste and his toothbrush. They brushed their teeth in silence and when they were done they went to bed already exhausted for some reason falling asleep right away.

In the middle of the night Harry ended up waking up to relieve himself and when he got back, his son was already on his spot having no choice but to sleep on the other side of the bed. He was just starting to get comfortable again when his phone started ringing and he scrambled up to get it before it could wake his son up.

"Hello?" Harry groggily answered clearing his throat hearing someone crying on the other line, "Hello? Mark?" He said after checking the caller ID.

"Harry, it's Louis." Mark's voice trembled and Harry's eyes started stinging expecting the worst.

"He- He's not dead, is he?" He asked turning to look at his son who was sleeping without a care in the world unaware of the harsh reality.

"He's alive but he's gone into a coma, Harry. Seems like his body is having trouble adjusting to the new environment around him, it happened half an hour ago. I'm sorry to tell you this through the phone and not in person but I can't separate myself from him, I need to be here to monitor any changes." Mark informed him.

"His heart. What about his heart?" Harry asked already getting up stopping when Blake whined in his sleep.

"It's completely healthy, it's beating like it should be and there's no signs of either high or low blood pressure. Harry...he's completely healthy." Mark said, his voice cracking at the end.

"Then why? We made sure to keep his room at a comfortable temperature, he's in the best environment we could get, so why? He's healthy." Harry started getting desperate wanting to get up and go to him but he had Blake to take care of.

"It's like...like he doesn't want to live, Harry." Mark said and Harry felt bad when he could hear he was crying, "Like he gave up, like he doesn't want another chance at life and now I'm starting to wonder if I did the right thing when I froze him all those years ago. If we did the right thing when we unfroze him."

"We can't go back in time now, Mark. What's done is done and we can't do anything to go back and change it. What we need to do now is keep a close eye on him and make sure he doesn't get any worse." Harry said feeling Blake moving closer to him until he was plastered to his side.

"Yeah...I'm gonna let you go, I know you have surgery tomorrow and you need to sleep." Mark said then hung up after Harry said his goodbyes.

Harry put his phone on his nightstand then went to sleep again wrapping his arm around Blake's little waist unable to stop thinking about Louis. He could never get out of his head the thought of Louis willingly letting himself die when Harry himself wasn't sure if he even knew what was going on. He didn't know what he was going to do if Louis died again, he wouldn't be able to take it much less move on.

He lifted his head up when he heard something scratching at his door then the whines. He got up and opened the door barely seeing Harley running in probably looking for Blake, he smiled and picked him up setting him on Blake's other side. Harley walked in circles on a certain spot then laid down as close to Blake as he could snuggling against his back while Harry settled back down on his old spot and position quickly falling asleep.

By morning he had trouble waking Blake up and when his son finally woke up, he went straight for a shower while Harry made breakfast. Harry made sure to feed Harley as well then continued making pancakes and bacon until he felt it was enough for both of them. He made a plate for Blake and set it down on the table just as his son walked in fully dressed with his backpack strap slung over his right shoulder.

"Still tired?" Harry asked him as he served him orange juice having made sure to grab the one with no pulp. Blake hated it forcing Harry to buy one of each since he loved it with pulp.

"Yeah..." Blake trailed off looking down at his food.

"What's wrong, bud? You don't want to go to school?" Harry asked him getting worried when he saw how red and watery Blake's eyes were, "Baby, tell me what's wrong."

"I had a bad dream." Blake whimpered as his bottom lip trembled and his eyes filled with tears that Harry was quick to wipe away.

"Wanna tell me what was it? It will make you feel better and less scared." Harry hugged him feeling how bad he was shaking.

"It was about daddy, he- he took me away from you and Harley. He said you were a bad person but I know that's not true, papa. He took me away from everybody and then he left me alone to go with someone else, told me he didn't love me." Blake started crying hiding his face on Harry's chest then looked up at him, "Do you think he doesn't love me?"

"If one thing I'm so sure of is that he loves you with all his heart. Your daddy is not a bad person so never doubt his love for you." Harry kissed Blake's forehead as he rubbed his back until his son calmed down and was okay to start eating his food.

They ate in silence until it was time to go and after making sure Harley was okay in his cage not wanting him to be uncomfortable. Harry dropped Blake off at school staying there until he was inside the school seeing him walking inside with two of his classmates. After that he stopped at a coffee shop getting hot chocolate and a scone when he was still hungry then drove to the hospital.

He only had one hour to get ready having received a message from Mark informing him that Louis was still doing the same. He sent out a reply then left his phone in his office to get ready for surgery going over her file one more time. It was a twenty year old woman who needed a new pacemaker and the surgery was quick and successful. When he was done he went straight to another one, this time being a seventeen year old boy who reminded him so much of Louis.

When his day was over he went to Mark's clinic finding his mum with Louis as soon as he walked into the room. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and had his hand in hers as she whispered things to him Harry couldn't hear. She noticed her son but kept talking to Louis until she got up giving Harry some space so he could greet him.

"Jay told me he went into a coma earlier today." Anne commented seeing the way Harry kissed Louis' forehead then the top of his hand he was holding.

"Yeah, Mark called me to let me know. Where's Jay?" Harry asked finding it strange that she wasn't there.

"I brought her food and convinced her to go eat and take at least a short nap in Mark's office. Wasn't easy but I told her she was going to get sick and can't be around Louis if she does."

"We can't risk him getting sick." Harry sighed, "Oh! I forgot to call you last night to tell you Zayn will be picking Blake up, they're going shopping together for things for the baby. I'm going to pick him up from his house later today."

"Okay, just make sure you eat too. I didn't bring you anything because I didn't know you will be here." Anne said already getting worried.

"I ate something on the way here so don't worry." Harry gave her a smile.

Anne returned the smile and ended up staying for an hour until Jay and Mark showed up. They went to sit on a couch while Harry and Mark made sure he was doing fine talking in hushed voices. When they were done both women were informed that he was doing great except for his comatose state that they still couldn't explain why not wanting to tell them what they had talked about the night before. Anne left half an hour later and so did Mark and Harry to check on other patients leaving Jay alone with Louis.

"You need to wake up soon, love." Jay said as she brushed her fingers through his hair, "Harry and Blake need you, I- I need you too." Jay kissed his forehead wishing he would just wake up but nothing was easy and reality was harsh.

~*~

"This one's cute." Blake told Zayn handing him a tiny pink dress now that he knew his uncle was going to have a baby girl. But it was their secret.

"It is cute! You have such great taste bub, I knew you would pick all the cute ones." Zayn grinned putting the dress in the basket.

They continued shopping until the cart was almost full and after paying they went to a fast food restaurant to get food. It wasn't until they got to Zayn's house that he noticed how quiet Blake had gotten making him worry.

"Something wrong?" He asked him as they folded the clothes after he had washed them.

"I wish I had a baby sibling." Blake sighed, "And I had a bad dream about daddy but papa told me not to be scared because it wasn't true."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Zayn asked dropping the clothes and scooting closer to Blake wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"I dreamt he took me away from papa and told me he was a bad person, he told me he didn't love me and left me alone to go with someone else. I didn't tell papa but he told that man that he loved him...I thought he only loves papa like papa loves him."

"Oh sweetheart." Zayn kissed the top of his head, "It was only a bad dream, nothing but a bad dream and they're not real."

"If daddy's going to hurt papa then I don't want him to come home." Blake told Zayn as he looked around almost afraid that someone could hear him.

"Your daddy loves you, love. You should have seen how happy he was when he found out he was going to have a baby, I was there when he did. He loves your papa too even if he can't tell him at the moment. He wouldn't hurt him so you have nothing to worry about." Zayn hugged him hoping for Louis to wake up soon so he could ease his son's worries.

"I love him too, uncle Zayn. I just don't like it when papa spends more time with him and he's never home spending time with me. Don't tell papa but sometimes I hate daddy." Blake said and Zayn was sure his heart broke into a million pieces feeling bad for Louis.

"That's not okay, Blake. Your daddy needs attention too because he's sick but hopefully he'll get better soon and your papa will spend more time with you." Zayn explained.

"Jeffrey keeps telling me he left us, he won't stop, uncle Zayn." Blake said almost in tears.

"You need to tell Harry that brat keeps annoying you. And don't listen to him, Louis didn't leave you on purpose, he would do anything to be here with you loving you and baking all sorts of cookies just for you. He loves baking cookies and you love to eat them." Zayn firmly told him feeling him nodding against his chest.

After that conversation they went to the kitchen to bake chocolate chip cookies since both of them were craving them. Zayn spent all that time reminding his nephew how much Louis loved him until Blake was smiling more and talking about his daddy more often with love and affection like he used to before. When the cookies finally cooled down, they sat down to eat them with a glass of milk giggling at the silly faces the other was making.

~*~

"Hi darling, you look a bit better." Harry told Louis taking a seat on the chair now that he was alone with him.

"I'm not sure if you can hear me but I want you to know that I love you so so much, I never stopped. You have to fight for Blake, our son needs you and misses you so much." Harry took his hand resting his forehead against it then wrapped an arm around Louis' tummy being careful around his C-Section scar.

"Please..." Harry begged him trying not to cry sitting up when he heard them.

He quickly got up seeing Louis frowning in his unconscious state then heard his low groans. He was quick to check his pulse then his pupils seeing them responding well.

"That's it darling, you're doing so well love." Harry placed his hand on his cheek still hearing his groans that quickly turned to whimpers.

"You're okay darling. My sweet boy, you're okay, you're safe with me. No one's going to hurt you." Harry kept reassuring him until he calmed down and was back to the way he had been before while Harry made sure to let Mark know he was out of that deep sleep.

Harry stayed where he was until he decided to go home picking Blake up from Zayn's on his way there then ended up staying for dinner. When they got home, Harry took a shower while Blake played with Harley and when he was done, they sat down to watch Regular Show laughing when it got too funny.

Later that night when Blake went to bed he once again asked Harry to tell him about Louis which he gladly did glad that his son wasn't hating on him anymore. He went to bed with a loud sigh ready to do it all over again and before he knew it, a whole week had passed with Louis still not waking up and Blake asking when was his daddy going to come home.

~*~

 

_The night was a stormy one as Louis waited for his parents to go to bed and an hour after they did he carefully got up struggling a bit with his huge belly on the way. He went straight to the closet to get his small bag already filled to the brim with a change of clothes for him and enough clothes, blankets, diapers and wipes for his baby to last him at least two days. He took a deep breath as he slowly opened the door of his bedroom then careful not to make much noise, walked downstairs holding onto the stair railing while his other hand was supporting his belly._

_"We're gonna go see papa soon, baby. He'll be there to welcome you into the world." Louis whispered and once he made it to the first floor he ran to the front door dreading the long walk to the front gates._

_Halfway to the gate he was already shivering when the umbrella and the jacket he had on did little to protect him from the cold harsh rain. He startled when he heard his father's voice shouting at him to come back then Jay's voice begging him to come back. He turned to look behind him and started walking faster when he saw his father running after him and when he was getting closer, he had no choice but to start running too as fast as he could almost reaching the gates._

_He thought he would get there before his father could catch him when he slipped and landed on top of his belly letting out the loudest scream feeling something warm down there. That's when he felt the first contraction trying to curl up into a ball as he reached down there and when he raised his hand again, he screamed seeing the blood on his fingertips. He let Mark pick him up without a fight when he couldn't stop crying and screaming in pain passing out soon after unable to handle too much pain._

_When he woke up again he was in a hospital surrounded by doctors, one of them quickly asking if he could feel the scalpel against his stomach. It took him a while to understand what was going on and when he finally did, he answered with a no getting ready to bring Blake into the world without Harry there. He felt a pang on his chest and his eyes filled with tears at the thought of Harry not being there like they had planned months before._

_It hurt even more when after what felt like a long time he finally heard his baby's loud cries filling the room then a bundle wrapped in a white towel was placed on top of his chest. He wanted to close his eyes feeling exhausted but couldn't when he had to meet his baby and when he did, he burst out crying seeing his tiny face and how his eyes were still closed as he cried his little heart out._

_"I...I love you B- Blake." Louis whispered before he closed his eyes welcoming the darkness where nothing hurt and he was at peace being his son's cries the last thing he heard._

The beeping on the heart monitor started going faster but with no one there to stop it, it only seemed to get louder as the boy laying on the bed started whimpering. It didn't take long for him to gasp out loud and open his blue eyes looking around with desperate and frightened eyes as he took deep breaths of air feeling like he was suffocating until he could finally breathe again.

He felt something on his face and when he tried to lift his arm up to get it off, he started freaking out when he couldn't move his arms much less his legs. He started crying feeling his throat hurting getting more scared when no sound would come out no matter how hard he tried. He tried to look at the door when it suddenly opened and two doctors followed by nurses ran in shouting many things he couldn't understand.

Harry felt like the air had been knocked out of him when he finally saw him looking around the room with wide and teary eyes seeing how afraid he looked. He walked closer to check the heart monitor and make sure nothing life threatening was going on when he heard a whimper and when he looked at him straight in the eyes, he wished he hadn't. All he could see in his shiny blue eyes was the fear and confusion in them as he stared at him and that's when Harry knew it was all over.

To Louis, the person standing in front of him was his Harry yet it wasn't. The Harry standing in front of him was much older and taller. No, that wasn't and couldn't be his Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	7. Let me go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like this chapter and enjoy the song, I think it fits this chapter towards the end. Don't forget to comment. Your thoughts will be greatly appreciated this chapter. Enjoy! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nklvuocGCAQ

_Louis slowly opened his eyes closing them again when the harsh light hurt them but couldn’t keep them shut any longer when he heard a baby’s whimpers then his mother’s soft voice soothing said baby. When he looked that way the first thing he saw was his mother sitting on the couch holding the tiniest baby he had ever seen, and the tiny creature was all his and Harry’s only._

_“M- Mum…” Louis croaked out getting her attention._

_“Oh Lou, he is beautiful.” Jay got up placing the still whimpering baby in the plastic bassinet before he made his way to her son to help him sit up, “How are you feeling, love?”_

_“What happened?” Louis asked, his gaze settled on his baby._

_"You slipped and-"_

_"I know that." Louis interrupted her watching her go back to the baby picking him up._

_"The fall made you go into labour and we brought you to the hospital, they had to do an emergency C- section... you passed out again after Blake was born. Your heart-"_

_"My heart is fine, now give me my baby." Louis demanded already not in the mood to talk to her._

_“He looks just like you.” Jay commented as she placed the baby in her son’s awaiting arms._

_As soon as Louis got to hold him, his face went from the sour expression he always had to one of happiness as he smiled for the first time in four months. And it was all because and for Blake only. The baby yawned moving his head to face Louis’ chest lifting his tiny arm up sighing and feeling comfortable in his father’s arms. Louis leaned down to kiss his forehead barely able to hold him any longer when he was already exhausted again. He could feel his heart beating a little faster almost suffocating him when he had a bit of trouble breathing but he held on no wanting to let go of Blake anytime soon._

_“Wait until Harry meets you, cupcake. He’s your papa and he already loves you, he told me so.” Louis talked to his baby ignoring his mother and the knock on the door finally looking up when he heard Mark’s voice._

_“The nurse is here to help you fill out his birth certificate.” Mark told him without bothering to get any closer knowing his son wanted him as far away from him as possible._

_“Hello Louis!” The cheerful nurse greeted him making Louis smile a little, “Do you have a name for the little one? I also need the other father’s full name if you want to add him, I’m going to need yours too, sweetheart.”_

_“Hi.” Louis said earning a smile from her, “I do. I want to name him Blake Alexander Styles.” Louis smiled loving the names he and Harry had picked one lazy afternoon._

_“Louis…” Mark started but was interrupted by Louis who no longer cared what his father thought or wanted._

_“And his father’s name is Harry Edward Styles, mine is Louis William...Tomlinson.” Louis told her loud and clear spelling the names after she asked him to then looked to make sure everything was spelled correctly._

_“That will be it, sweetheart. You’ll get the birth certificate in a few days.” She said then left the room leaving Louis alone with his parents and Blake._

_“We agreed on him being a Tomlinson.” Mark moved to stand next to Louis._

_“You agreed, I didn’t. He’s my son and I get to name him whatever I want.” Louis glared at him, “What? You’re gonna take that away from me too? You’re going to take him in the middle of the night and send him somewhere I will never find him? I don’t want him to be a Tomlinson and that’s that.”_

_“Son-”_

_“I am not your son! I stopped being it the moment you decided to take Blake and I away from Harry.” Louis spat, his eyes filling with burning hot tears wondering how he was doing, “You ruined my life, everything. You took away Harry’s chance of seeing our son being born.”_

_“Louis, listen to me.” Mark insisted._

_“I don’t want to hear it!” Louis focused on his son trying to ignore his father, “You don’t know him like I do.” He mumbled._

_“He will never be able to give you the life you deserve, the life you’re used to. It’s all rainbows and unicorns now but what happens down the line when everything starts getting harder and you realize that’s not what you really wanted.” Mark raised his voice then sighed as he rubbed his temples when his grandson let out a sharp cry._

_“You’re going to regret this, and when you do, don’t expect me to forgive you.” Louis glared at him with tears in his eyes and an ache in his heart._

 

**_To Louis, the person standing in front of him was his Harry yet it wasn’t. The Harry standing in front of him was much older and taller. No, that wasn’t and couldn’t be his Harry._ **

 

His heart rate started accelerating unable to take his eyes off of the man standing in front of him who was staring right back. His hair was longer ending at his shoulders and it wasn’t as curly as it used to be all the while he was trying to understand what was going on. He had lost the back then and barely there baby fat he had that used to make his face look a little bit rounder having been replaced by a defined jaw.

“Mmm.” Louis tried to speak but couldn’t when his throat painfully constricted after not being used for almost a decade even though they had kept it moisturized enough after reanimation.

He wanted to ask what was going on, he wanted him to tell him where he was and what had happened. He wanted to know so many things but most important of all, he wanted to know where his baby was. Where was he?

“Shh, it’s okay it’s okay.” Harry placed his hands on Louis’ cheeks feeling his own eyes burning with unshed tears when he saw the tears rolling down Louis’ temples getting lost at his hairline, “You’re safe...Mark!” He shouted wishing he hadn’t when Louis’ eyes followed his gaze landing right on Mark.

Louis only started crying harder as soon as he saw his father looking older than the last time he ever saw him after he had shouted how much he hated him. He had regretted it right away but it had been too late. He started thrashing on the bed as much as he could crying until he finally made a sound that sounded much like a sob startling Harry who let go of him right away. That sound was like a dagger to his heart.

“Sedate him.” He finally said letting the nurses stand in front of him cutting his view off of him hearing them murmuring things to him.

Mark moved to stand next to him while Harry felt a pang on his chest when he finally calmed down enough so one of the nurses could sedate him. They stood there until Louis was back asleep looking peaceful again except for the tear stains on his face that Harry wiped away once he was sure he was asleep. He made sure he was okay then watched him never noticing he was crying until he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks realizing that he couldn't do it anymore.

He took a seat on the chair Jay used that was right next to Louis and watched him unable to do anything else. He looked around the fairly large room taking in the light blue color of the walls, the couch by the farthest wall right against a window and finally Louis' bed and all the expensive medical equipment. He reached to grab Louis' hand but quickly stopped himself and as he pulled his hand back, he noticed the way it was shaking having to look away from him. The urge was suddenly there surprising him all the way to the depths of his soul hating himself for having such thoughts.

The urge to grab Blake and leave never to be seen again was already there. The urge to leave Louis and everything behind to start a new life with his son where no one will know them burned its way in leaving nothing behind. He bit his own tongue as more tears rolled down his cheeks as soon as he looked at Louis again. The boy he had fallen in love with all those years ago, the boy who had given him a child. His one and only. He couldn’t leave him behind and now even more when he was going to need him.

He ended up leaving a few minutes later knowing Jay would be there soon after Mark had explained to her what was going on. He went home to take a shower and rest since Blake was still in school but couldn’t when as soon as he got home, Anne was running out the door with the phone still in her hand. He began worrying when he saw the look on his mother’s face as she waited for him to stop the car and once he did, she rushed to him where he almost hit her with the door when he opened it.

“What’s going on?” Harry placed his hands on her shoulders steadying her after she had stumbled back to avoid getting hit.

“Blake’s school called, he got into a fight with a classmate and they want you to go.” Anne explained then her expression hardened, “I told you to talk to Blake and you promised you were going to go to the school and put a stop to that kid taunting my grandson.”

“I was gonna go-” Harry started.

“When!?” Anne yelled, “Listen, I know the whole situation keeps you busy but Blake always comes first. Jay called to tell me Louis is awake now and as happy as I am right now, Blake comes first to me like he should for you too.” She snapped then turned around to go into the house coming back a few seconds later with her purse.

Harry watched her get in the passenger's side of his car then buckled herself up and crossed her arms over her chest waiting for Harry to get in the car and drive. With a loud sigh he got in and started the silent drive to the school and when they got there, he was glad when his mother had started yelling at him just as they got into the school grounds.

“He better not be hurt, Harry Edward. You’re an adult but I’m still your mother and I will beat your ass.” Anne threatened him as she hurried to the main doors followed by Harry. They had to go to the main reception area where a middle age woman was already waiting for them.

“Hello,” Harry started. “I’m Harry Styles and we’re here for Blake Styles.” Harry told her seeing her reaching for the phone waiting for her to tell them what was going on, “The principal is already waiting for you. It’s through that door, second door on your left.” She told them nodding when they thanked her.

When they got there they were allowed in and as soon as Harry saw his son, he felt his stomach dropping and the anger building up when he looked at the other kid and his father already there. He recognized him as the same man that had been staring at him during parents day when he had come to school with Blake, he glared at them while Anne was already next to Blake hugging him close to her. His heart broke when his son let out a loud sob and grabbed the sides of his grandma’s sweater with his dainty hands holding tight onto it.

At least the man had the decency to look embarrassed having a tight grip on his son’s shoulders while Harry glared but soon looked away when Blake got louder. He dropped to his knees in front of his son gently removing him from his mother and when Blake looked at him with red teary eyes, Harry’s heart broke. His son had never been one to fight much less know how to when Harry had never encouraged him to be violent, now he was regretting it.

He should have at least taught him how to defend himself when he saw the bruise already forming on his right eye and the traces of already dried blood by his nose where he had tried to clean it up. He hugged him letting him cry on his shoulder as soon as Blake seeked comfort in him never pulling away even after the principal cleared his throat.

“Mr. Styles, Mr. Tramell, as you can see there was a brawl between your children and-”

“What the hell happened?” Harry interrupted him getting up with Blake in his arms knowing that his son wasn’t going to let go anytime soon feeling him wrapping his legs around his waist.

“They started a fight in the middle of gym class.” A tall blond man who Harry hadn’t noticed before started talking as soon as Harry’s expression turned deadly.

“And?” Harry glared at him then at father and son still sitting down, “You didn’t think about separating them before this kid could hit my son. Look at him!”

“He started it!” The kid whose name Harry still didn’t know spoke up and that’s when Harry noticed he was crying too.

He didn’t give a flying fuck if he was.

“No I didn’t!” Blake pulled back to look at Harry, “Jeffrey started it, papa. He told me dad left me because he didn’t love me and I told him you said it wasn’t true and he didn’t stop.”

“He told me mine didn’t love me either because he left me.” Jeffrey said looking up at his dad who closed his eyes and rubbed his temple with his free hand.

“Is that why you hit him?” He asked, “Because coach Wichert told me you hit him first and I’m not happy with you.”

“I only did it once, he always tells me everyday and doesn’t stop when I ask him to.” Blake hurried to defend himself already feeling bad for it.

“How many times have I told you that’s not true.” Mr. Tramell said while his son continued crying, “That he and I aren’t together anymore and he lives somewhere else now doesn't mean he doesn’t love you. He never left you, he just has his own house now. And that doesn’t give you the right to tell your classmate his dad left him when you don’t know what’s going on. Apologize. Now.”

“I’m sorry.” Jeffrey said as he wiped away his tears with the sleeves of his hoodie.

“I am so sorry, Mr. Styles. I should have talked to him when I had the chance.” Mr. Tramell apologized, “I’ll pay for any medical expen-”

“That won’t be necessary, I can take care of them myself.” Harry set Blake back down who stared at Jeffrey as he fiddled with his hands.

“I’m sorry too, Jeffrey.” Blake said surprising all adults even though he had been the one to receive the blows, “I’m sure your dad loves you.”

Jeffrey’s lips trembled looking down at his lap feeling sorry while Blake went to sit with Anne letting the adults solve the issue. In the end it was decided that Blake wouldn’t be attending recess the next day while Jeffrey had been suspended for a whole week plus three days of no recess the week after. They were sent home after a counselor had recommended Jeffrey see a therapist which his father agreed to not knowing what else to do with his son.

“Mr. Styles.”

Harry turned around with his hand still on the door handle about to open it seeing Mr. Tramell in front of him, “Yes, Mr. Tramell?” He said knowing he was being harsh but his son had gotten hurt and he wasn’t in the best mood.

“Call me Josh.” He started then paused to take a deep tired breath, “”I want to apologize again for what my son did to yours. I know it doesn’t excuse him but he’s had a tough time ever since the divorce and I’ve completely neglected him. I’m sorry.”

“I should have come and talked to the principal after the many times my son told me yours was harassing him, it was partly my fault for neglecting Blake too. I’m sorry for what my son said to yours.” Harry said.

“No need to apologize Mr. Styles-”

“Harry, call me Harry.” Harry interrupted him.

“There’s no need to apologize, Harry. My- My son did more damage and I hope yours gets better.” Josh said looking back at his car then at Harry again, “I need to go but I promise I will talk to Jeffrey. Won’t happen again.”

Harry nodded and as soon as Josh left, he got in the car seeing his mother and son staring at him as he backed out of the parking space. As soon as they got home Anne didn’t waste time to give Blake some Ice after Harry had taken a look at his injuries, he was then given some medicine for the pain and allowed to take a nap.

Harry used that time to take a shower while his mother cooked them something to eat and when he was done he could smell the food making his stomach growl. He changed into a pair of black dress pants and a long sleeved white button up even though he wasn’t sure if he was ready to see him again. When he was ready he went downstairs seeing Blake already there helping his nana set the table. Blake frowned upon seeing his father all dressed up and instead of putting three plates on the table, he only placed two on his and Anne’s spot.

“Are you going out, Harry?” Anne asked him.

“I’m not sure, maybe later but for now let’s sit down and eat.” Harry said then looked at Blake, “You and I need to talk. Living room, please.”

“But I didn’t do anything, papa.” Blake started freaking out.

“I know you didn’t, son. We just need to talk.” Harry insisted then followed his son to the living room when he finally agreed sitting down next to him on the couch, “Does it still hurt?” He asked bending down to pick Harley up and give him to Blake.

“A little, but not as much as before.” Blake shrugged letting Harley try to climb all over him letting out a giggle.

“I want to apologize for not going to the school to talk to your teacher and Jeffrey’s dad.” Harry apologized.

“I told you not to go. Jeffrey hit me because I told him his dad doesn’t love him and it was wrong. I know he used to tell me all the time my daddy doesn’t love me but it was because he was sad his daddy left him and his dad. He’s still my friend, papa.” Blake explained making Harry feel so proud of him, “He cried when he hit me.”

“I’m very proud of you, bud and I love you so much.” Harry reached for him bringing him into a hug.

“As much as daddy loves me?” Blake asked letting his father hug him and his puppy.

“Just as much.” Harry answered, “And you know that’s a whole lot.”

“When is he coming home?” Blake asked already knowing the answer but he was a firm believer that it didn't hurt to ask.

“Soon, I hope he comes home soon.” Harry answered getting startled by the doorbell then frantic knocking on the door, “I’ll go get it, bud. Wait here.” Harry told his son who ran back to the kitchen as soon as Harry got up.

When Harry opened the door he didn't expect to see Gemma standing in front him with tears in her eyes and a small bag in her hands. He could see her car badly parked right next to their mum’s growing confused when she grabbed his hand and pulled him outside shutting the door right after.

“I had to find out through Niall, Harry Edward!” Gemma said right on his face, “Why didn’t you tell me Louis is alive, has been for the past two almost three weeks.”

"I was going to, I swear." Harry defended himself opening his arms to wrap them around her when she started crying again.

"How is he? Is he doing okay?" Gemma asked seeing a glimpse of Blake after he had shut the blinds when he got caught spying on them.

"He- He woke up this morning...didn't go so well if I'm honest." Harry sighed tightening his grip around her.

"What happened?" Gemma asked pulling away from him.

"He woke up out of nowhere and of course he was going to figure out something's wrong. He saw us and it went downhill from there." Harry explained seeing the sorry look she was giving him. He didn't need it even though he knew she meant well.

"Louis was always a very understanding person, I'm sure that if you take the time to carefully explain things to him then he'll understand." Gemma told him as she led him inside the house where she could smell her mum's chicken alfredo.

"I hope so but...it's not that easy, Gemma." Harry sighed, "Mentally and emotionally, everything could go wrong. He was legally dead and frozen for almost a decade, if I was him I would lose it. And I'm- I'm so scared that he'll go down that path."

"Have some faith, Harry." She wrapped an arm around his waist as they walked to the kitchen, “Louis is such a strong person, he’s a fighter.”

"Blake doesn't know yet, so please don't say anything." He whispered just as Blake ran out of the kitchen to meet his aunt.

"Aunt Gemma!" Blake wrapped his skinny arms around her waist.

"Jesus Christ, what happened to you!?" Gemma exclaimed quickly pulling away from Harry so she could have a better look at her nephew's bruises.

"Someone hit me but it's okay, we're still friends 'cause he apologized." Blake shrugged, "Where's David and Michelle?"

"Always the forgiving one." Gemma smiled leaning down to kiss his forehead, "They're back in Manchester with uncle Michael. Maybe your papa can take you to see us one of these days."

"Ooh! Can we, papa!?" Blake asked cheering when Harry nodded then turned to Gemma just as Harley ran in, "Papa went and got me a puppy and it wasn’t even my birthday! Isn't he cute!?"

"He is the cutest, just look at him!" Gemma let go of Blake bending down to pick up the hyper puppy hugging him close to her.

"His name is Harley and I got to name him all by myself." Blake proudly told her while Anne and Harry finished setting the table.

"That's a beautiful name, munchkin." Gemma gave him the dog ruffling Blake's hair then made her way to Anne, "Hi, mum."

“Hello, sweetheart.” Anne hugged her as she kissed her cheek, “You got here just in time, we’re about to eat.”

“Great! I miss your cooking.” Gemma went to wash her hands then sat down next to Harry and Blake.

They ate mostly in silence and sometimes would make conversation about anything that would come to their minds until they were done. Harry offered to clean everything up and sent his mum, sister and son to the living room while he cleaned up everything.

When he placed the last plate in the dishwasher and turned it on, he grabbed his phone noticing a missed call from Jay and a text from her. As soon as he read it he started feeling dizzy knowing he was going to have to face him and everything at some point, he just didn’t have any idea it would be so soon.

**_‘He’s awake and doesn’t want to see anybody but you, please come see him.’_ **

**_‘On my way.’_ **

He put the phone on top of the counter to wash his hands and after drying them with a paper towel, he grabbed it again then his keys, wallet and coat heading to the living room. When he got there Gemma was on the floor with Blake playing with Harley while Anne was watching them as she slowly sipped from her ice water.

“I’ll be right back, mum. There’s an emergency at Mark’s clinic.” Harry said gaining their attention.

“Is it daddy?” Blake got up to block the door having no choice but to go back to Gemma when his aunt pulled him towards her so he could sit on her lap.

“No baby, it’s another patient who just woke up.” Harry told him then kissed his forehead, “Be good to nana and aunt Gemma, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Okay!” Blake shrugged going back to Harley.

Harry looked at his mum and sister who gave him encouraging looks then he finally made his way outside quickly getting in his car and driving away. The whole way there he couldn’t stop shaking wondering how the hell was he going to explain everything to Louis when it seemed that he was going to have to be the one to do so.

He parked in the usual parking lot space then got out of the car making sure to lock it before making his way inside where he no longer had to stop at the reception area. They knew very well who he was, their boss’ son in law. He didn’t stop until he was standing right outside his room where Mark and Jay were waiting for him and as soon as she saw him, she burst out crying.

“H- He doesn’t want to see us, he hates us.” Jay cried only getting louder when Harry hugged her.

“How is he doing?” Harry asked them.

“He’s refusing to talk to us, only tried talking to tell us your name and Blake’s...nothing else. His voice sounds better now than it did a while ago but he’s still having trouble using it.” Mark explained.

“I’ll go talk to him.” Harry pulled away from Jay and without saying anything else walked into the room making sure to knock twice first.

When he walked in he closed the door behind him, his gaze settled at the foot of the bed until he finally looked at him. He let out a barely audible gasp when he saw him already looking right back at him with that same look from years before but there was also a hint of fear in his eyes. He no longer had the mask on his face and instead had on a nasal cannula and his bed was a little raised allowing him to be more comfortable.

“H- Harry…” Louis finally spoke making Harry’s eyes sting with unshed tears just by hearing his voice again. It was raspy and weak from years of not being used, but to him it was still the most beautiful sound, “Bl- Blake.”

“Lou…” Harry whispered still frozen on his spot until he saw Louis trying to lift his hand up, that’s when he finally started walking towards him taking his smaller hand in his much bigger one, “You’re awake, you’re finally awake.”

Harry started crying seeing Louis doing the same moving to wipe away his tears with his thumbs when Louis could barely move his limbs. He cried louder when he kissed his forehead placing Louis’ hand on his cheek feeling how soft and warm it was just like all those years ago. When Louis finally moved his thumb it was to wipe away a stray tear unable to stop looking at Harry just like Harry couldn’t stop looking at him.

“H- How long was I in a- a coma?” Louis asked frowning when Harry’s whole expression changed to one of surprise.

“What? Louis…” Harry started getting interrupted by Louis.

“No, don’t- don’t lie. Look a- at you.” Louis started crying again, “You’re not the same, Mark and Jay, they- they’re old. You’re older and Blake...how old is he?”

With each question Louis only cried harder wondering how much he had missed, how many of Blake’s birthdays he had missed. What had happened for him to end up the way he did when the last thing he remembers was being on the phone with Harry where he had told him how much he loved and will always love him and then nothing. He wanted to know what he looked like, how old was he now.

“I’m going to tell you the truth but you need to stay calm and you need to keep an open mind, okay. No matter what I tell you, I want you to know that I love you. I never stopped and Blake loves you too, you’re all he thinks about and he wants you to come home.” Harry started running his fingers through Louis’ hair in attempts to calm him down when Louis couldn't stop crying.

“Harry...please. How long was I asleep?” Louis asked again, his voice getting better the more he talked yet he still sounded exhausted.

“You know your dad has a Cryogenic clinic where he-”

“I know that! I know what he- what he does.” Louis interrupted him getting desperate.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Harry asked wanting to know not wanting to mess him up for life.

“C- Calling you, my mu- Jay was- she was crying and you- you were too. Please tell me.” Louis begged him getting more scared the longer it was taking Harry to answer him.

“It’s going to frighten you, I know it will but I’m here okay. You’re safe with me, I’m not gonna let anybody or anything hurt you.” Harry kissed Louis’ knuckles continuing when Louis only stared at him as more tears pooled in his eyes then rolled down his cheeks, “That day you didn’t go into a coma like you think, you- your heart stopped beating. You were officially declared...dead, and Mark decided to freeze you.” Harry finished seeing how truly frightened Louis was.

“No…” Louis tried to pull his hand away but couldn’t when it wasn’t responding and Harry had a tight grip on it, “No! You’re lying, nonono. Please no, that’s not true. No.”

“You stayed like that until I was able to find a cure for the disease that damaged your heart and killed you. That’s when Mark and I decided to try and bring you back.” Harry held onto his hand tighter hurting at the way Louis was crying.

“No! How long!? How long!” Louis shouted moving his head to the side refusing to look at Harry feeling like the room was getting smaller and he was suffocating.

“Nine...almost ten years.” Harry confessed hearing a deafening silence before hell broke loose.

He watched the way Louis started crying and screaming never looking at him while he tried to calm him down but nothing was working. He had no idea the hell Louis was going through, the demons slowly clawing their way inside his mind and soul threatening to tear everything apart. Harry leaned down to hug him making sure Louis' face was on the crook of his neck never flinching at how loud Louis' screams were until he heard them.

"Let me go! Let me go!!" Louis screamed trying to push him away but it was futile when he couldn't even move his body, much less push Harry's body away from his.

"Lou...darling!" Harry shouted already desperate to calm him down hearing his heart rate accelerating at a dangerous rate.

"My baby! I want my baby!" Louis shouted desperately holding onto anything to keep him sane, “Please! Blake!”

Anything. No matter what it was or who it was, no matter what it could give him or take away from him. What else could be taken away from him when he was left empty, when he had already been stripped off of everything.

"He's home, he's okay." Harry placed his hands on his cheeks desperately wiping away his tears seeing how wet his face was after so many tears being shed.

"No! I want my baby, my baby." Louis looked at Harry straight in the eyes seeing his distorted reflection in his eyes forcing him to quit trying to push Harry away.

Harry had moved on, he had stayed behind.

He continued crying while Harry did the same and when he finally stopped crying feeling exhausted was when he let Harry hug him again. His hair smelt of coconuts, the same old shampoo he used to use and was still engraved in his memories. He looked around the room as more tears clouded his vision realizing that he didn't belong there, he didn't belong anywhere anymore. He nuzzled his face against Harry's hair on the side of his head wanting to be close to him as the sorrow ate away at his soul.

"You should have let me go." He whispered against Harry's hair pressing his lips against it, "Let me go." He begged.

It was better to be dead than alive knowing he had missed everything, had missed ten years of his son's life he was never getting back. He felt Harry pulling away wanting to close his eyes when he saw the state he was in. The way the strange yet familiar man in front of him was still holding onto him as if Louis himself was his lifeline.

"No." Harry answered grabbing both of Louis' hands, "I'm never letting you go, not again."

Louis closed his eyes and turned his head to the side whispering over and over again, “Let me go.”

_Let me go, let me go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> I hope I did justice to Louis' reaction!


	8. Life goes on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting the next chapter either friday or saturday, depends on how busy I am. Please don't forget to comment. Enjoy! :)

**Louis closed his eyes and turned his head to the side whispering over and over again, “Let me go.”**

**_Let me go, let me go._ **

 

“You can’t go.” Harry mumbled, “You have a life ahead of you an-”

“A life that doesn’t belong to me, it’s unnatural.” Louis interrupted him feeling empty with no emotions whatsoever, “My life was over ten years ago. Why can’t you understand that.”

“I- It wasn’t over Louis, it was taken from you. I spent so many years preparing myself to be who I am today to be able to bring you back where you belong. Don’t do it for yourself much less for me if you don’t want to, but do it for Blake, your son.” Harry pulled away from Louis grabbing his arm with the intention of starting the exercises one of the doctors had recommended so he could gain mobility again even though Jay had been doing them for a while now.

“Did he ever see me like that?” Louis asked, his bottom lip trembling and more tears rolling down his cheeks, “Did he ever see his father like a frozen piece of meat. Nothing but a corpse.”

Harry wanted to protest and tell him it was never like that but stayed quiet choosing to answer his question, Louis deserved them after all. Anything Louis asked, Harry was going to answer it.

“No, I never allowed him to. We’ve had many arguments over it but I never allowed him, I wanted him to meet you once you were awake and aware of what’s going on.” Harry told him hearing Louis’ relieved sigh.

“He’s mine, but he sounds like a complete stranger. Do you- Do you have a picture?” Louis asked him as he watched Harry. He was a complete stranger to him too.

“I have something better.” Harry smiled at him showing him his dimples that even after ten years, were still there completely untouched, “The other day I brought a bag full of videos of Blake growing up. Do you want to watch them?”

“When are you going to bring him to see me? So I can meet him.” Louis asked instead of answering his question.

“Soon. I have to talk to him first, get him used to the idea of you being here again.” Harry set Louis’ right arm down then got up and made his way to the other side where he grabbed his left arm.

“When?” Louis insisted.

“I promise you’ll see him soon. He’s a very sensitive child and I need to explain what’s going on or else he’ll close off.” Harry gave him a small smile, “Do you want to watch those videos first? Last one was recorded a few months ago on his ninth birthday.

He mentally scolded himself when Louis once again closed off and looked away not answering his question realizing how truly frightened he still was until he felt his hand shaking. He stayed silent taking more time to do the exercises until he felt Louis had had enough of it then gently set his arm down. He got up and made sure Louis was comfortable before checking his heart monitor making sure everything was alright feeling Louis’ eyes on him.

“I’m going to leave the oxygen on until you have more strength and feel that you can breathe on your own.” Harry informed him going on doctor mode.

“Don’t...don’t let Mark and Jay come in here again, I don’t want to see them.” Louis settled his gaze on him begging with his eyes.

“Alright, I’m sure they’ll understand.” Harry sighed knowing they weren’t going to but it’s what Louis wanted.

“Are you going back to Blake?” Louis asked.

“I can stay here with you if you want to, my mum can watch him and Gemma is there too.” Harry went to sit next to Louis on the bed seeing him moving his fingers, it wasn’t much but it was something.

“I don’t want to be alone...I’m- I’m scared to be alone.” Louis confessed not knowing what he was feeling when Harry hugged him again. It was the same yet it wasn’t, he still felt the same but at the same time he didn’t.

“I’m gonna go outside for a little bit to make a call and tell your parents I’m staying with you.” Harry pulled back and when Louis nodded, he got up and left the room leaving Louis alone.

As soon as he stepped outside Jay got up from the chair she had been sitting on making Harry feel sorry for her when he saw how red her eyes were from all the crying. Mark wasn’t doing any better but stayed behind giving Harry some space when Jay was already invading it.

“Did you tell him the truth?” Jay asked.

“He didn’t take it so well but he calmed down and he- he wants me to stay with him.” Harry informed her.

“What?” Jay took a step back, “I thought I was going to be the one to stay with him. I- I’ve been doing that ever since he was brought back.”

“You have to understand him, Jay. The last memories he has of both of you are not that pleasant, just give him time. Go home tonight, I’m going to stay with him.” Harry insisted.

“No! I’m not going anywhere, I’m his mother and I’m staying with him. You go home to Blake, he needs you.” Jay argued and when Harry didn’t budge, she pushed him aside and walked in without knocking.

The reaction was immediate when as soon as she stepped into the room, Louis started screaming at her telling her to get out making it more painful when his voice kept cracking. Jay was a sobbing mess watching Harry run to Louis and hold him in his arms hiding Louis’ face on his chest while Mark wrapped his arms around her and made her go outside closing the door after them.

“Tell them to leave, tell them to leave. Get them out!” Louis screamed, millions of memories flashing through his head. Ones he didn’t like to remember when to him they felt as if they had just happened yesterday when it had been over nine years ago.

“Shh, it’s okay. They’re gone.” Harry whispered against Louis’ ear as he ran his fingers through his hair that needed a wash but he could care less.

“I don’t want to see them ever again.” Louis sobbed, “They- They ruined everything, they- it’s their fault.”

“You’re okay.” Harry rubbed his back until Louis calmed down enough to be left alone while he called his mum and went to his office to get the bag full of dvd’s and a MacBook.

Anne and Gemma agreed to stay with Blake and after promising him a big surprise for him in the next few days, his son finally agreed on staying with his nana. When he got back to Louis’ room he expected him to be calmly waiting for him but instead found him crying making his own eyes sting with tears seeing the state Louis was in. Looking frightened like something was out to get him and ready to jump him at any second. He put the items on top of the overbed table by the door then rushed to Louis hugging him again. He stayed there until Louis let it all out having used a full box of tissues on both of them and when Louis spoke up, he knew he was in for a long night.

“T- Tell me everything that’s happened for the past nine years. I want to know everything about everybody.” Louis said against Harry’s chest.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." Harry said and when Louis nodded he started from the very beginning, "A week after you...you left us, Jay went looking for me having decided that it was better for Blake if he was with me. She gave him to me and she and Mark let me raise him."

"They did?" Louis looked up at him seeing the way his jaw was moving, "I- I thought they will never let you see him, when I was so sick I thought they would keep him away from you. I was terrified."

"I know you want nothing to do with them much less hear from them, but Mark realized the error of his ways. Too late but he did, he helped me so much, he- he is part of the reason I am who I am today. I would have never made it without his help.”

“After he showed me where he was keeping you, a month after I graduated, he asked for my help. He told me I was a genius and I could help him bring you back. I was so broken then and I just wanted you back, I wanted us to have that family we promised to each other." Harry started crying quickly wiping his tears away, “I spent all this time preparing myself to be who I am today. School was already paid for and Mark helped me economically.”

“Raising Blake wasn’t easy but everybody helped me. Jay or my mum would watch him, my mum if she had time, now she works part time in a day care and in the afternoons she watches Blake. She picks him up from school and stays with him until I get home and if she can’t then your mum does. Niall, Zayn and Liam helped me raise him too and they still do, Blake loves them to death.”

“Zayn.” Louis said out of nowhere and when he started shaking, Harry made sure to hug him tighter kissing the top of his head.

“Zayn is okay, love. Remember how he was studying to be a teacher?” Harry asked and when Louis nodded he continued, “He changed his mind and is now an architect, Liam just completed his residency and is now a pediatrician. Niall the nerd is a software engineer.” He chuckled.

“Liam and Zayn. Did they end up together?” Louis asked feeling his eyelids getting heavier wanting to sleep.

“They...They got married three years ago and now Zayn- he’s expecting their first child, he’s four months along.” Harry told him expecting Louis to freak getting confused when Louis pulled away from him then looked at him with a small smile on his face.

The first one ever.

“Zayn used to always say he wasn’t going to pop out anybody’s kids but Liam’s. At least he got what he wanted.” Louis’ smile vanished leaning against Harry once again.

“If- If we didn’t get what we wanted then we can still get it now. It’s never too late.” Harry shyly said seeing how tired Louis looked, “Go to sleep darling, I’ll be here when you wake up.” Harry told him getting up to fix Louis’ blankets around him.

“I want to take a bath, I feel dirty.” Louis yawned.

“Tomorrow after you have breakfast, that way your bed will get cleaned up if you have an accident. We need to get you started on liquids first then solids. How are you feeling right now?”

“My stomach feels empty but I don’t want to eat anything, food sounds gross right now.” Louis’ face scrunched up in distaste, “I do want to sleep.”

“Go to sleep, okay. If you need something just call for me.” Harry said.

He watched Louis nod before he fell asleep and half an hour later he did the same after he had asked a nurse for toothpaste and a toothbrush to brush his teeth. When he woke up again it was already five in the morning getting up to do his business and brush his teeth again now that Louis was still asleep. As soon as he was back in the room he took a seat on the couch where he had spent the night with his laptop on his lap going to his son’s school website to check his grades.

He had smiled the entire time seeing how his son was an A+ student and he couldn’t be more proud of him as he was going through the many assignments he had completed and turned in. When he was done he checked his schedule and his eyes widened when he saw he had many appointments starting at ten and he still had to shower and eat something. He didn’t know what to do wondering if it was a good idea to call Zayn over since Louis didn’t want to see his mother but couldn’t when it could impact Zayn in a bad way. Or it would brighten his day.

“Ha- Harry.” Louis groaned moving his head from side to side looking a bit green, “I want to…”

He didn’t even get the chance to finish when he was trying to move to his side as he gagged wanting to throw up, but with nothing in his stomach, it was impossible for him to vomit at all. Harry got up as fast as he could calling one of the nurses over asking for medication already knowing what was wrong with Louis. He moved him over to his side making sure his head was at the edge of the bed as he rubbed his back seeing tears forming on Louis’ eyes the more he gagged.

“You’ll be okay, darling. It’s just a side effect, it will go away soon.” Harry soothed him reaching to press the button again when the nurse was taking too long just as a male nurse ran in with the syringe already in his hand, “Do it slowly or it will make it worse.” Harry instructed him seeing him nodding.

He held Louis close as the male nurse injected medicine through the IV hearing Louis gagging again letting out a pained cry making him worry even more. He comforted him taking a water bottle the nurse offered to him before leaving then let Louis rest back on the bed as soon as he said he was feeling a bit better.

“I’m gonna give you water but just to rinse your mouth, spit it out after you’re done okay.” Harry instructed him not wanting him to get sick again, “They’re going to bring you breakfast soon.”

Louis nodded then Harry gave him water making sure to have a container close so Louis could spit the water out after he was done. He repeated the process two more times then announced he was done hearing a knock on the door then one of the ladies who worked in the cafeteria walked in with a tray in her hands. It only had a bowl filled with chicken broth making Louis’ stomach growl realizing he was actually hungry and a cup filled with something Louis couldn’t guess.

“Alright, here’s your breakfast sweetheart. Enjoy!” The female told him making Louis smile.

“Thank you, Elena.” Harry thanked her.

“You are welcome, sweetheart! Are you sure you don’t want me to bring you anything?” She asked.

“Now that you offered I’m gonna have to take you up on that offer.” Harry gave him a cheeky smile, “I have appointments all day starting at ten and I’m barely going to have time to take a shower.”

“I’ll be right back, we have biscuits and gravy. Oh! And sausages.” Elena smiled.

“Sounds delicious.” Harry gave her a thumbs up watching her leave.

“You have to leave?” Louis asked as soon as she was gone watching him roll the overbed closer to him.

“I have appointments and I can’t cancel them. I’m sorry Lou, but I promise I’ll come back as soon as I’m finished.” Harry kissed the top of his head never noticing Louis stiffening then grabbed a spoon to start feeding him

“Who’s going to stay with me?” Louis looked up at him with teary eyes, “Not Jay please...or Mark.”

“Actually…” Harry started, pausing to feed him seeing Louis swallowing before he continued, “I was thinking about calling Zayn, he’s on vacation right now and I know he’s dying to come see you. He doesn’t know you’re awake but I can call him if you want me too. It’s okay if you don’t.”

“I- I want to see him.” Louis said and that was enough for Harry to know he had agreed reaching to pull out his phone from his back pocket.

“What is that?” Louis’ gaze was settled on the phone as he took another spoonful of the broth.

“This is an Iphone 6S. It just came out.” Harry told him letting him see the phone watching in wonder how impressed Louis looked by it.

“An I- what?” Louis’ brow furrowed in confusion looking from the phone to Harry and back to it.

“It’s from the apple company. You remember them?” Harry smiled.

“They’re still around? This phone is huge, phones weren’t that big then.” Louis looked completely mesmerized by it that Harry couldn’t help but grab his hand and let him hold it seeing how big it looked in his small hand.

“They’re still around, darling.” Harry chuckled taking the phone back quickly sending a text to Zayn to meet him in his office then started feeding Louis again, “How are you feeling? Any nausea?”

“Not yet.” Louis informed him then opened his mouth to eat more, “Can you give me the water?” He asked after he had swallowed the broth.

Harry nodded reaching for the cup and a straw just as they heard a knock then Elena walked in with a tray full of food for Harry. She set it in the nightstand then walked out with a smile on her face after Harry had thanked her not bothering to eat until Louis was done.

“Let me know if you start feeling nauseous again. Any kind of discomfort, please let me know.” Harry rolled the overbed table towards the couch then sat down starting to eat his food while Louis watched him.

He watched the way his jaw would move whenever he chewed then his adam’s apple bobbing up and down unable to stop comparing the now twenty eight year old man in front of him to the nineteen year old boy he had been back then. The sudden urge to see what he looked like hit him out of nowhere making him choke on his spit gaining Harry’s attention who got up faster than lightning.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked starting to get worried when Louis couldn't stop.

“I’m- I’m okay.” Louis gasped out trying to take deep breaths, the oxygen cannula helping him a little.

Harry nodded giving Louis a bit more of water and when he was done and once again feeling okay, he went back to eating his food trying to finish it on time. When he was done he put his tray aside then began folding the blanket he had used feeling someone watching him. When he looked up he found Louis already watching him and without thinking, he gave him a smile that had Louis blushing and looking back down at his lap just like all those years ago.

“I need to take a bath.” Louis muttered.

“I’ll get it ready for you. I asked a few of the nurses to prepare a new room for you, you’ll be more comfortable and it will be easier for visits.” Harry finished folding the blanket then made his way to the bathroom.

“Visits...like Blake?” Louis asked wanting nothing more than to see his son but it was- it felt, as if Harry was keeping him away from him.

“He’ll definitely want to spend everyday here once he meets you.” Harry continued completely unaware of the turmoil going on inside Louis’ head.

As soon as the warm bath was ready Harry carefully unhooked Louis then placed him in a wheelchair noticing how light he was and when he undressed him, he noticed just how fragile he looked. Louis expected himself to feel embarrassment whenever Harry would look at him in his naked state but when it didn’t seem to bother Harry, Louis was able to relax.

“I’m gonna pick you up now, okay?” Harry said and when Louis nodded, he gently picked him up again.

He felt Louis stiffening and seconds later sharp fingernails digging into his back making him wince a little realizing that it was Louis. He turned to look at him seeing him staring at the mirror in front of them and once Harry met his eyes through it, Louis burst out crying hiding his face on his chest.

Harry could feel him shaking against him forcing him to sit down on top of the closed lid of the toilet rocking him back and forth as he rubbed his naked back. His cries slowly turned into hiccups until he stopped and sat there not wanting to move at all wanting to stay warm and Harry’s arms were the only ones that could provide it.

“I was supposed to get old with you.” Louis mumbled after what seemed like an eternity but had only been minutes, “We were supposed to raise our son together, to watch him grow together.”

“It’s never too late to start now.” Harry kissed the top of his head still holding onto a life with Louis and Blake. His family.

“Sometimes it is, Harry. Sometimes it is too late for everything. I will never get back all those years I missed, w- we were supposed to be a family by now.” Louis started crying again, “Remember how we used to say we were going to have a lot of kids? Now look at me. I- I don’t even know if I should consider myself a nineteen year old or- or whatever age I am supposed to be by now.”

“I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want. Everything is your choice now, you weren’t allowed one back then but now you do.” Harry told him blinking the tears away knowing that maybe being with him isn’t what Louis wanted now, “How about that bath, huh?”

Harry gently set Louis down in the tub then helped him bath and when he was finished he dried him and changed him into a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt leaving the hoodie aside in case Louis got cold later on. He placed him in the wheelchair then took him straight to another room where in Louis’ opinion, was so much better and homey than the last one.

“Zayn is already here. Do you want to see him now?” Harry asked him as he helped him on the bed and when Louis nodded he went to get him. Zayn was already in his office waiting for Harry to come get him getting up as soon as Harry walked in.

“How is he doing?” Zayn asked him, “He’s awake, right?”

“Yes and he wants to see you.” Harry opened the door wider letting Zayn go first then walked together to Louis’ new room.

“Is there anything I need to know before you let me in?” Zayn asked not wanting to upset Louis in anyway.

“Don’t mention Jay and Mark, he doesn't want to see them at the moment and don’t be afraid if it gets a bit overwhelming for him...has been happening a lot. Moments when he, I don’t know, doesn’t want to be here...alive. He can’t move his arms and legs but we’ve been doing exercises and I’ll teach you how to do them before I leave. Ready?” Harry asked.

“Ready.” Zayn confirmed feeling a lump in his throat at the new information.

He slowly opened the door peeking in to see Louis looking at the door expectantly and when he opened it wider, was when life long friends finally saw each other again. Zayn’s vision was already blurry from all the tears while Louis wasn’t doing any better and slowly but surely, Zayn made his way inside followed by Harry who stayed behind the closer Zayn was getting to Louis.

Nothing was said nor was needed to be said when Zayn slowly got closer to Louis and after a few seconds where nothing happened, Zayn finally brought Louis into a hug having missed him. He started crying again unable to stay quiet wondering if it was only a dream and when would he have to face the cruel reality of having to wake up. When Louis mumbled a quiet _Zayn_ , he pulled back placing his warm hands on Louis’ cheeks wanting to get a better look before hugging him again.

“I missed you so much, you have no idea.” Zayn whispered.

Louis couldn't say anything feeling a lump in his throat and instead carefully observed him, his friend was still the same yet looked so different. Everything suited him back then and everything was still suiting him now even the blond hair and the little round tummy he had noticed right away.

“I- I’m sorry for- for leaving.” Louis mumbled.

“You’re here now. You don’t have to apologize for anything.” Zayn let go of his face then grabbed his hand rubbing small circles on top of it, “I’m going to stay with you, we have a lot to talk about.”

“Call me if you need anything. Let me show you how to do those exercises.” Harry spoke up and soon enough he was showing Zayn how to do them before leaving.

Zayn had carefully observed the way Louis’ eyes had fluttered shut when Harry kissed the top of his head before leaving watching Louis staring at him until he disappeared. Once he was gone, Zayn took a seat on the bed right next to Louis just looking at each other until Zayn smiled once again taking Louis’ hand in his.

“What are you going to have?” Louis asked not knowing how else to start a conversation.

“It’s a girl. Liam and Blake are the only ones who know.” Zayn happily told him seeing the way Louis’ eyes shined at the mention of Blake.

“Blake...I hate how he’s a complete stranger. What’s he like?” Louis’ eyes started watering at the mere thought of his baby boy.

“Oh Lou, he’s the most wonderful and sweetest boy you will ever meet.” Zayn answered and it was enough to bring Louis to tears.

His own child was a stranger to him, someone he didn’t know at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	9. Sweet child of mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this chapter and I hope you guys like it. The pic is what they're supposed to look like, Harry a bit older but that works. Please don't forget to comment, I will really appreciate it in this chapter. Enjoy! :)
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> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicMonkey%20Collage_zpsfivmpkp0.png.html)

**_His own child was a stranger to him, someone he didn’t know at all._ **

 

“No, Louis don’t cry. I know it can be very overwhelming but please don’t cry.” Zayn begged almost in tears too.

“How c- can I not cry, Zayn.” Louis sobbed, “How would you feel if the last time you saw your baby she was a month old and when you’re finally going to see her again she’s a nine year old who probably doesn’t love you. How can he if I was never there for him.”

“He lov-” Zayn grabbed his other hand.

“I was never there for him! I never gave him all the love he needed growing up, I never got to wake up in the middle of the night to feed him, change his diaper and much less comfort him.” Louis interrupted him feeling a hole in his chest, one he didn’t know if it would ever be filled.

“When I was pregnant all I wanted was to have him in my arms and love him and I only got to do that for a month and even then I was too sick to take care of him. Harry had to do it all by himself and I missed everything. His first word, his first steps...his birthdays. I wasn’t there to take him to school on his very first day and tell him to have fun and that everything was going to be okay. I never got to pack him his lunch and write him little notes. Everything I wanted to do, I never got to do it.” Louis let it all out and by the time he was done, he and Zayn were in tears, “I still have the C-Section scar…”

“I’m going to be honest with you, Louis.” Zayn firmly said, “Your son loves you, we all made sure to tell him about you, we never stopped telling him how much you love him and how you didn’t mean to leave him. Life was cruel...your dad was a cruel man and he has paid for his mistakes even if it was too late. But all you need to know and be so sure of is that your son loves you, he always asks us to tell him stories about you. Hell, he’ll listen to the same ones over and over again as if it was the first time no matter how many times he has heard them before.”

“I love him so much and I’m scared he won’t love me when he meets me.” Louis looked at Zayn with wide frightened eyes full of tears that it broke Zayn’s heart, “I’m scared he’ll be ashamed of me. Look at me, I look like I could be his older brother...physically I look nine years older than him. I am nine years older than him.”

“He loves you and that won’t change anytime soon. I promise you that.” Zayn hugged him feeling Louis nodding on his right shoulder.

“Enough of me and more about you.” Louis said out of nowhere in a more cheerful tone confusing Zayn who decided not to say anything as he pulled back, “Harry told me you and Liam got married three years ago, you better bring video and pictures next time you come visit me.”

“It wasn’t that big of a wedding, just the people who matters to me. Liam was too busy with his career and so was I. Same with Niall and Harry, Harry was too busy with Blake and his career plus research.” Zayn chuckled.

“Is Niall not married yet?” Louis asked.

“Nah, he’s the man no woman can hold down. He and his then girlfriend broke up a few years later after a pregnancy scare. Niall thinks he’s too young to settle down and have kids, so as long as he’s happy then we’re happy.” Zayn shrugged his shoulders reaching for the water when Louis licked his lips and after he was done drinking, he put the cup back on the table.

“I’m glad everything worked out for all of you.” Louis smiled looking down at his lap looking up again when Zayn got up going straight for the paperbag Harry had left behind.

“These are all the videos we have of Blake.” Zayn said taking them from the bag before he started going through them.

“He brought them so I can watch them and I was going to last night but I was so tired.” Louis sighed then started laughing as Zayn chewed on his bottom lip getting worried at his mood swings knowing something wasn’t right, “Can you believe that? I was dead for almost ten years and when I wake up I feel tired, I shouldn’t feel tired at all.”

“Do you want to watch them?” Zayn asked having spotted the laptop right next to the bag.

“If- If you watch them with me. I’m too scared of doing it on my own...everything scares me now.” Louis said as he looked around the room with wide eyes before they settled back on Zayn who was already turning the laptop on.

“Of course I will.” Zayn smiled.

He was relieved when Harry had taken the time to get rid of the password and when it was ready, he put in the very first dvd glad that he had labeled them. He moved the laptop on the overbed table then wheeled it closer to Louis sitting next to him when Louis asked him to.

“This one’s from when Blake was three months old, Harry was giving him a bath and Niall recorded the whole thing.” Zayn chuckled feeling Louis grabbing his hand when he pressed play and a baby’s cries coming from the speakers filled the room. He held onto it just as tight.

 

_“Harry, I think he’s cold.” A worried Liam said as he held onto a blue baby towel._

_“He’s not.” Niall said off camera as it shook a little when he moved, “He always cries ‘cause he hates taking baths. He would rather be a stinky boy. Right Blakey, you’ll rather be stinky stinky stinky.” Niall cooed pointing the camera straight at a very naked Blake crying his little heart out._

_“Zayn, could you please pass me his shampoo? I forgot to grab it.” Harry asked looking straight at the camera for a few seconds looking exhausted with dark circles under his eyes._

_“Sure mate.” Zayn passed him the shampoo watching Harry bath their nephew._

 

Louis could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks seeing the tiny creature looking bigger than the last time he had seen him. He watched Harry give him a bath until he was done and gently passed him to Liam who carefully held him in his arms wrapping the towel around his little body. The video ended with them walking out of the bathroom just as Niall, who was the last one to get out, walked out of it making sure to turn the light off.

“He wasn’t born with curly hair nor did he have them last time I saw him.” Louis commented, “I could see the little curls.”

“He’s got crazy ones.” Zayn chuckled making Louis smile.

“Just like his father.” Louis mumbled focusing back on the screen where a new video was waiting to be played.

The second one was of Blake sitting on a high chair looking older and when Zayn informed him that he was five months, Louis wanted to cry. He watched how his son was already sitting up just staring at Harry who was sitting next to him probably doing homework.

 

_“Blakey…” Niall cooed at him off camera earning the little boy’s attention who smiled as soon as he saw him, “Tell papa you want to play. Here you go buddy.” Niall said handing him a plush rattle in the shape of Winnie the Pooh that Blake was quick to pick up and rattle it right by Harry’s ear._

_“Papa’s busy Blakey, he’s gotta finish his homework.” Harry smiled at him even though it didn’t reach his eyes._

_“But Blakey wants papa to play.” Niall said in a baby voice making Harry chuckle._

_“Do your homework, Niall.” Harry threw a peanut at him making Niall laugh before the video ended cutting off his contagious laugh._

 

The next video was in the living room of Harry’s apartment where Louis could see him on the floor right next to Blake who was attempting to crawl. Their son looked so much older and bigger and when he finally crawled, he felt happiness coursing through his body at his baby’s achievement. He watched Harry crawl along with him making him smile through the tears so sure that Harry had been and was a great father. His little boy was in the right hands.

“This one is from Blake’s first steps, we were at Niall’s.” Zayn put another dvd in pressing play as soon as it was ready, “He knew how to say papa and daddy by then but we were too slow to catch it and he was almost a year old.”

“He learned how to walk before he turned a year old?” Louis asked completely surprised.

“He’s just like Harry, loves to go to school but hates waking up in the mornings. I’ve noticed he’s got a thing for watching those forensic shows but Harry barely lets him watch them. Not age appropriate and all that crap. He loves to listen to Mozart.” Zayn chuckled seeing the way Louis was smiling so big.

“Did his eyes stay blue?” Louis asked, “I couldn’t see them that well in the video.”

“The bluest.” Zayn answered seeing how his bottom lip trembled as he wiped away his tears when Louis couldn’t do it.

 

_“If he walks you’re doing the dishes for a whole month.” Niall told Harry while Zayn was on Liam’s lap who was sitting next to Harry. All of them staring at Blake who was standing in the middle of their small living room holding onto the coffee table._

_“He’s not even a year old, Niall.” Harry groaned hearing Blake make a little huffing sound then sat up when his son let go of the table as if to prove his father wrong._

_“Oh man, this is gonna be good.” Liam started laughing followed by Zayn._

_Niall started laughing when Blake took a shaky step followed by another heading straight to him having heard his uncle’s laugh wanting to join in on the fun. He was staring straight at the camera mumbling a tiny da’ey getting there just in time reaching for something. The video getting interrupted._

 

“Why did he say that? Was he talking about Harry?” Louis started shaking after Zayn shut the laptop closed per Louis’ requests.

“There was a picture of you behind Niall. Harry took it from Jay’s house wanting to have one of just you, and every day he would sit with Blake and tell him about you. Every single day.” Zayn’s eyes filled with tears feeling a lump in his throat.

“Part of me is...relieved he told him about me but the other- that was cruel of him knowing I was gone. Why make our son want someone he would never have.” Louis finally looked at Zayn seeing him staring straight ahead at nothing in particular.

It felt like hours had passed when Zayn finally answered disturbing the gloomy atmosphere surrounding them and the heart monitor’s constant beeps, “He had hope, Louis.”

Louis closed his eyes feeling an ache in his chest unable to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks weeping for Harry, for that cheerful boy his death had turned into nothing back in those dark days. He wished he would have fought harder against his parents, we wished he had convinced Harry to run away when they had the chance instead of accepting to stay.

He wished he had done many things to save Harry all that pain. He wondered if it would have been better to stay away from him back when they were nothing but strangers to each other. But how could he when Harry was all he dreamed about, all he wanted.

“I should have stayed away from him.” Louis mumbled opening his eyes to see Zayn staring at him.

“No Louis.” Zayn shook his head as his eyes hardened with hate, “Your father should have left you both alone. Your mother should have put a stop to it but she chose to stay quiet and follow his orders.” Zayn said then looked away to grab a tissue to wipe away Louis’ tears.

Louis nodded feeling nothing but hate towards those people he could no longer call parents and soon enough they were back to watching the videos. They took a break when Louis had to eat and when Zayn was done feeding him, he ate his lunch Harry had requested they bring to him knowing Zayn wasn’t going to leave Louis alone at all. It was already afternoon when Louis found himself watching Blake’s ninth birthday party video completely mesmerized with the child on the screen.

Blake was completely beautiful to him.

He had been able to watch the past nine years of his son’s life and everybody else’s seeing the way they had changed throughout the years. He hadn’t liked seeing Mark and Jay celebrating along with them when they didn’t deserve it and it wasn’t fair. They had taken the chance away from him to see his son growing up so why did they get to see him grow up.

“I took a picture of him last week.” Zayn commented quickly getting his phone out when Louis perked up at that showing it to him as fast as he could.

“Blake…” Louis mumbled as soon as he saw the picture wanting to touch the screen, “He looks so big already.”

“He’s going to be as tall as Harry.” Zayn commented letting him look at it as long as he wanted even when his hand started getting tired.

Louis finally looked away asking Zayn if he could print it for him to which Zayn quickly agreed telling him that maybe he wasn’t going to need it, he would be meeting Blake soon enough. When they finished watching all videos for good they heard a knock on the door and seconds later Harry walked in followed by Liam and Niall who were trying to be as quiet as ever. It wasn’t long before Niall was a crying mess taking his time to go next to Louis pulling Liam with him and when they got there, they didn’t hesitate to hug him.

“I missed you.” Niall kept crying until Liam who was smiling through the pain, pulled him towards him and hugged him hiding his face on his sweater.

“How are you feeling?” Liam asked him unable to believe he was alive and awake even though he was right there in front of him.

“Good, just a bit tired.” Louis answered clearing his throat when his voice cracked.

"That's normal." Liam told him then looked at Zayn giving him a smile.

"Congratulations on your first baby." Louis congratulated him.

"Thank you! Has Zayn told you what we're having?" Liam asked him letting go of Niall who took a seat on the bed next to Louis.

Louis smiled glad that they weren't treating him any different, "He did."

"Hey that's not fair, I've been asking ever since they found out and they won't tell me. Even Blake knows, that little traitor won't tell me." Niall crossed his arms over his chest making Louis pay more attention to him now that he had mentioned his son.

"He can keep a secret. That's my boy!" Liam chuckled noticing Louis now looking at him then at Harry who was busy checking Louis' file.

"And won't budge no matter what, not even if you bribe him." Harry finally said looking up when the room had gone too quiet and they were all staring at him, "What?"

"When are you going to bring him?" Louis asked ignoring the fact that his friends were there, "You told me you were going to bring him soon."

"I am going to talk to him first, I need to explain things to him and once I do then I'll bring him." Harry explained seeing Zayn narrowing his eyes at him.

"Today?" Louis asked giving him a hopeful look it made Zayn give Harry a pointed look. The 'don't fuck with Zayn Malik' look.

"Louis..." Harry started but was interrupted by Zayn.

"I know it's none of my business but why prolong it when Louis is already awake and Blake wants nothing more than to meet his father. I think it's time you tell him, Harry. Why do you keep stalling?" Zayn got up from the bed crossing his arms over his chest.

The room became tense as Harry and Zayn stared at each other and the rest watched them. Louis' gaze settled on Harry expecting an answer wondering if Harry was keeping _his_ child away from him on purpose. He knew the Harry he had left behind wasn't like that, but he knew nothing about the Harry he was looking at now.

"You know Blake is a sensitive child and Louis being awake now is what he's always wanted. I need time to tell him his father is back, I need to give him time to assimilate to it. If it was up to me he'll be here already but I need to talk to him first. I want them to meet more than anybody else but I need to give him time." Harry answered seeing how upset Louis looked making him set the file down to go to him.

"Y- You can talk to him now. Go home and talk to him." Louis insisted.

"He needs ti-" Harry started grabbing Louis' hands.

"Go home and talk to him!" Louis finally snapped managing to pull one of his hands away from Harry out of anger, "And if he wants to come see me then let him, if he doesn't then I'll wait as long as it takes. I've waited enough, ten years." Louis started crying getting louder the more Harry tried to wipe his tears away.

"Harry, listen to him." Niall spoke up followed by Liam nodding.

"Blake's waited long enough, so has Louis." Liam gave him a pleading look.

"Okay." Harry finally agreed smiling when Louis did, "Can you guys stay here with him while I go talk to him. I'll be back with him as soon as I can."

"Don't worry about him, we'll keep him company." Zayn quickly said going to Louis' side who was now smiling.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Harry told Louis then kissed his cheek smiling at him before he left missing Louis blushing a lovely shade of pink.

"I need to take a bath, I probably smell." Louis said looking up at Zayn with pleading eyes.

"I'll help you, Lou." Zayn smiled at him then looked at Liam, "Help me get him to the bathroom. But unhook him first." He ordered.

Liam nodded and went to wash his hands in the bathroom coming back to unhook him. Niall stayed behind fixing the covers as soon as Liam had placed Louis in the wheelchair then Zayn had wheeled him to the bathroom. Zayn had laughed when Liam closed his eyes as soon as he started taking Louis' clothes off knowing he was just joking. He was a doctor after all and was completely professional.

It hadn't been awkward at all when Louis' mind was occupied with thoughts of Blake. He thanked them as soon as they were done and he was back in his bed dressed in a new pair of black sweatpants with a light blue long sleeved shirt. Zayn had helped him brush his teeth then had brushed his hair leaving it over his forehead in a fringe just like he used to all those years ago.

"Can one of you help me to the couch, please? I'd rather be there." Louis nervously asked getting a nod from Niall who helped him to it while Liam grabbed a throw blanket putting it over him to keep him warm.

"He'll be here soon, don't worry too much." Zayn told him getting a nod.

Now all he had to do was wait.

**_~*~_ **

When Harry got home his mum's car was still on the driveway making him sigh in relief knowing they weren't out like usual. He parked his car right next to hers then locked it whistling a tune on his way to the door trying to keep his nerves down. When he opened the door he could hear the TV coming from the game room and by the sound of it, his son was watching _The Winter Soldier_ once again.

"Hi mum." Harry greeted his mum going straight to her arms to give her a long hug.

"Hi sweetheart. I haven't started dinner yet but sit tight and it will be ready soon enough." She smiled but soon disappeared noticing how nervous he was, "What's wrong? Is Louis okay?"

"He wants to see Blake and I came to talk to him and tell him. And if Blake wants to then I'll take him to see him...you have to be with us. Please." Harry begged her.

"See who?" Blake interrupted them from the doorway where he was holding Harley, "Who wants to see me, papa?"

"Come here, buddy. I need to tell you something very important and I want you to be a brave boy no matter what. Can you do that for me?" Harry asked sighing when Blake happily nodded and went to sit on a chair putting Harley on the floor.

Anne took a seat right next to Blake while Harry took one in front of him smiling at his son who had already showered and was wearing his pajamas. He took his time thinking of the perfect way to tell him but in the end decided to just go ahead and tell him as gentle as he could.

"Remember how I was looking for a way to help your daddy with his sickness?" Harry asked him.

"Yeah, you want to fix him so he can live again and come home with us." Blake nodded feeling his nana taking his hand.

"Well...I found a way to bring him back and it worked..." Harry trailed off seeing Blake's eyes filling with tears and his bottom lip trembling.

"Is he coming home now?" Blake asked, his voice cracking making Anne's eyes fill with tears too.

"Not right now, baby. But he's awake and he wants to see you. He missed you so much and wants to see you but only if you want to see him. Would you like that?" Harry asked him in such a gentle voice it had Blake bursting out crying, "No, don't cry baby. It's okay if you don't want to see him, daddy will understand." Harry pulled him into a hug muffling his cries with his chest knowing that even though Louis had told him he'll wait, there was no way he would be able to do so.

"It's okay sweetheart, I know it's a lot to take in." Anne rubbed his back then got up coming back with a box of Kleenex.

"I didn't fi- finish his present, papa." Blake pulled back letting Anne wipe his face dry. "I want t- to see him too but I didn't finish it."

"That's okay, you can give it to him when you finish it. When he comes home then you can surprise him with it." Harry smiled to let him know it was okay seeing him nodding.

"You want to go now?" Anne asked him.

"Yes." Blake responded right away smiling when his nana kept wiping his face.

"Then let's go get you all dressed up, you're going to look so handsome." Anne grabbed his hand taking him upstairs.

Harry stayed behind finally letting a few tears escape taking his phone as he did so. He texted Zayn to let him know getting a reply right away which was that Louis was already waiting. He washed his face on the kitchen sink then went to sit on the floor next to Harley petting the puppy until his mum and Blake were back. Blake was wearing jeans with his new pair of white converse and a red hoodie. He smiled when he saw his mum had probably brushed his hair since Blake never bothered to do so. His curls looked manageable for once.

"Ready?" Harry asked him.

"Ready. Can we go now?" Blake asked watching his papa put Harley in his cage.

"Let's go." Harry said already making his way to the door still feeling nervous while Blake happily got in the backseat buckling himself right away.

He was happily staring out the window for the whole ride as his papa and Nana talked until they parked outside a big building. He read _Tomlinson's Cryogenic Institution_ on the front of the building making him nervous. His tummy started hurting and his hands were already sweating watching them get out of the car. Harry opened his door helping him with the seatbelt when he was having trouble with it. Soon enough they were making their way inside where they had to stop at the reception then allowed in after Harry had given the receptionist his mum and son's name.

"All your uncles are here visiting your daddy." Harry informed him so his son would know what to expect.

"Does he look like in the pictures? What room is he in?" Blake asked seeing all the doors then held his Nana's hand getting more nervous.

"Room 864. He has the best room in the whole institution. And yes, he looks just like in the pictures." Harry told him pressing the eight after they had gotten in the elevator.

Anne furrowed his brow when she could feel how sweaty her grandson's hand was but said nothing knowing it was normal. It only got worse when they finally made it to the eighth floor and when they were two doors away, Blake abruptly stopped making her stumble a little.

"Harry...." She called for her son who was still walking then looked at Blake who was staring at the door labeled with a _864_ with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked already kneeling down in front of Blake who was breathing faster than normal.

"I don't want to see him." Blake whimpered taking a step back, "He's not going to like me, papa. I know it."

"That's not true, Blake. Your daddy loves you no matter what. He's on the other side of that door waiting for you." Harry hugged him feeling him shaking.

"I want to go home." Blake started crying on the verge of a freak out.

"Okay, we'll go home." Harry quickly agreed, "Just wait here with Nana while I go tell your daddy something. I'll be back." Harry told him watching him nodding before he wrapped his arms around Anne.

Anne gave Harry a sorry look then watched him go inside while she stayed with Blake trying to comfort him as much as she could. Harry felt his heart breaking for Louis when the first thing he saw was him looking happy expecting Blake to walk through the door. His smile faded a little when he didn't see him a and Harry kept chewing on his bottom lip.

"He doesn't want to see me." Louis stated as his eyes filled with tears looking down at his lap trying to stop crying when he knew it was a possibility.

"He's just really nervous, he's outside and he was going to come in and I don't know what happened. He was really excited to meet you." Harry grabbed his hands feeling his eyes stinging with tears when Louis looked at him with eyes full of tears that quickly rolled down his cheeks.

"He'll come around, Lou." Zayn told him hating to see him like that.

"No, he doesn't want to see me." Louis cried then stopped when he heard a knock on the door.

"Let me see who it is." Harry said as he wiped away his tears then lifted his hand to kiss it before getting up.

Louis stayed behind feeling an ache in his chest wanting to go to bed and sleep. He wanted to ask Liam to take him back to bed when Harry walked back in smiling so big, enough to make Louis' heart beat a little faster.

"There's a little someone who wants to meet you." Harry told him and just like that, Liam, Niall and Zayn were walking out the door to give them privacy. That was a moment just for Louis, Blake and Harry.

Louis sat up straighter looking at the door then back at Harry trying to normalize his breathing rate. He didn't even notice he had a tight grip on the blanket only getting tighter when Harry walked out then walked in seconds later. He stopped breathing when he finally saw him behind Harry watching how his father gently led him to the front. The beautiful boy in front of him kept fiddling with his dainty hands staring at them until Harry mumbled something on his ear making him look up straight at him. That's when Louis saw the bluest eyes he had ever seen as they finally made eye contact for the very first time.

“Blake...cupcake…” Louis mumbled calling him by the nickname he used to back then wanting to get up and hug him hating that he couldn’t move his legs.

“He’s your daddy, Blake.” Harry told him when Blake didn’t move at all, “He’s waited a long time to meet you.”

He watched him slowly take a step forward that quickly turned to two and soon enough he couldn’t hold back the tears when Blake was standing right in front of Louis. Louis wanted to hug him, to finally have him in his arms concentrating hard enough to achieve it. He tried as hard as he could to move his arms slowly lifting them up until they were high enough placing them on Blake’s shoulders. He then pulled him closer until Blake was right against him wrapping them around him cupping the back of his head then started crying when Blake wrapped his little arms around his neck.

“Daddy…” Blake mumbled hiding his face on the crook of his father’s neck taking in his scent feeling comfortable around him.

“Oh baby, my baby.” Louis pulled away from him to take a closer look at him kissing his forehead pulling him into a hug again wanting to keep him there forever, “I love you so much. I’m sorry I left you, I- I didn't mean to. I didn’t.”

Louis only cried harder when Blake climbed on his lap placing his legs on his sides to hug him closer never letting go of him after waiting for so long for that moment. Louis only hugged him tighter still crying barely able to run his fingers through his son’s curls but did so anyway wanting to bring a little bit of comfort to him when he never had the chance before.

“Love you too, daddy.” Blake finally said pressing a kiss on the side of Louis’ neck hugging him tighter when he cried louder. He hadn’t meant to make him cry again, he just wanted him to be happy.

Louis finally looked at Harry finding him leaning against the door with his eyes full of tears and just like that, he raised his arm wanting him to go to them. When Harry finally did, he sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around the both of them holding them tight.

Life had finally given him back what he had lost all those years ago, he had lost a family but now he had it back. That time he wasn’t going to let it go as Louis thought the same kissing the side of Blake’s head over and over again managing to make him giggle. It felt so good to be the cause of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> I really really hope you liked their meeting!


	10. So take me home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 6, 809 words! Sorry for the long wait, don't forget to comment and I hope you like it. Enjoy! :)

It had been almost an hour ever since Louis had finally met his little boy and he had yet to let go of him. He was still sitting on the same spot with Blake on his lap hugging him tight, none of them wanting to let go anytime soon. Louis would run his fingers through his hair or rub his back making a great effort to move his arm, even more when Blake had cried out of happiness. All Louis had been able to do was comfort him like he had always wanted, and god did it feel great. He felt like he was on top of the world with Harry by his side and their son in his arms.

"Daddy, when are you coming home?" Blake asked leaning back to look at Louis reaching out to pull his hair out of his forehead.

_Daddy_

The word itself made Louis smile and his chest feel all warm as he gave Blake a loving and maternal look. It made Blake feel funny, but a good funny, when his papa or anybody else had never looked at him the way his daddy did. It made him feel special and loved.

“I hope soon enough.” Louis answered looking at Harry for confirmation just as Blake did.

Harry was already noticing similarities between them like the way they would scrunch up their cute nose and how they seemed to almost have the same eyes. It was endearing.

“We have to monitor you for a few more days and once I see there’s no risks of complications then you can go home.” Harry told him.

“I can’t wait until you meet Harley!” Blake exclaimed receiving Louis’ full attention loving the way he paid full attention to him.

“May I ask who Harley is, cupcake?” Louis asked caressing his left cheek with the back of his fingers.

“He’s my puppy, papa got it for me and he’s going to love you!” Blake happily told him then furrowed his little brow, “Why do you call me cupcake?” He asked as he grabbed Louis’ hands to play with his fingers. They were really soft and small.

“I’ve always called you cupcake, you silly boy. Ever since you were a few hours old.” Louis smiled, even more when Blake smiled too blushing when his stomach growled and he made an adorable squeaky sound out of embarrassment.

“Are you hungry? Do you want me to order something from the cafeteria?” Harry asked already getting up to get the phone.

“What do they have?” Blake asked getting off of Louis’ lap to get the menu, “I want...the chicken fingers and fries with lots of ketchup, please. Thank you papa.” He happily said then went back to sit with Louis who opened his arms as soon as Blake had started making his way back to him.

Louis was about to ask him what his favorite food was when he heard him gasping making him worry, “What’s wrong?”

“We didn’t order anything for you! Are you hungry?” Blake asked him trying to get up to go get the menu and bring it to his father.

“I already ordered for him, buddy.” Harry said still on the phone ordering something for himself and when he was done, he went back to sit next to Louis wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“What about nana?” Blake asked, “And uncle Liam, Niall and Zayn.”

“They’re down in the cafeteria getting something to eat, they’ll be back in a few.” Harry smiled at his son reaching to poke his cheek making him giggle while Louis watched them with a smile on his face. He loved watching them interact.

“Anne is here?” Louis asked wanting to see her.

“Yeah, she’s in the cafeteria with the guys.” Harry told him gently stroking Louis’ cheek with his thumb feeling a flutter in his stomach when Louis rested his head on his shoulder still holding Blake.

“I would love to see her. And Gemma.” Louis sighed.

“And David and Michelle, and uncle Michael too.” Blake smiled not saying a thing when Louis squeezed him a bit.

“Yeah, them too.” Louis nodded not letting him get up when Blake tried to.

There was no way he was going to let him go, he had just gotten him back and having him out of his hold and sight was enough to freak him out. He didn’t let go when the food got there and Harry got up to help Elena who greeted them with a cheerful hello then left telling them to enjoy their food.

Harry helped Louis with his food bringing the overbed table closer to Louis then gave him the spoon so he could eat the broth he had asked for intending to start giving him solids soon enough. He watched him try to eat noticing the way his hand was shaking deciding to help him while Blake was busy dipping the chicken fingers in the ketchup.

“Thank you.” Louis thanked him then ate not saying another word.

“Why are you eating that?” Blake asked still holding onto the chicken finger blushing when Harry gave him a pointed look.

“He can’t handle eating heavy foods, not yet.” Harry explained giving Louis a smile even though Louis never returned it choosing to stare at his lap.

“Oh. But you will soon! And then we can eat pizza, it’s my favorite.” Blake smiled at him making Louis smile too as he nodded.

“What kind?” Louis asked, “My favorite is pepperoni.”

“So is mine!” Blake exclaimed getting excited out of nowhere making Harry chuckle as he fed Louis then took a bite out of his food, “What kind of movies do you like? I like Marvel and my favorites are Captain America.”

“Captain America?” Louis asked turning to look at Harry, “They made into a movie?”

“Yeah, first one came out four years ago and the third one is coming out may next year.” Harry informed him.

“Papa’s taking me to see it, you can come too.” Bake invited him before going back to only paying attention to his food.

“All he’ll have eyes for is his food now.” Harry said.

Louis nodded and continued eating until he was done feeling a little bit bad for keeping Harry from eating his food while it was still warm. When they were all done eating they piled up the dirty dishes on the overbed table then Harry rolled it to a corner going back to Louis who once again had Blake on his lap. Harry was just getting comfortable when somebody knocked on the door then it opened revealing Liam followed by Zayn, Niall and then Anne. She looked ready to cry at any moment now but held it back and instead gave them a watery smile.

“Anne…” Louis smiled seeing how much she had changed yet she was still as beautiful as ever.

“Oh sweetheart.” Anne rushed to him wrapping her arms around him and Blake where she finally let out a few tears pulling back to take a good look at him unable to believe that he still looked the same, “I missed you...I- I missed you so much.” She started crying hugging him tight again.

“I’m here now, I’m not going anywhere.” Louis told her so sure of himself. He wasn’t going anywhere, at least not willingly. He finally let go of Blake to be able to hug her watching his son go to Niall who placed his hands on his shoulders while they all watched them.

“Wait until Gemma sees you! She’s coming in a few days with her husband and their kids.” Anne gushed still holding Louis letting him rest his head on her chest seeking that maternal hold he had been craving for a while now.

“So much happened.” Louis chuckled trying to hide that ache on his chest, “And she said she was never going to get married and have kids, look at her now.”

“It was all talk, sweetheart.” She started running her fingers through Louis’ hair hearing him sighing in content.

“I can’t wait to see her in person, I did on video and she’s as gorgeous as ever.” Louis looked up at her getting startled when Blake started laughing.

He looked his way seeing him on the bed and Niall next to him tickling him while Liam and Zayn watched with a fond smile. Niall stopped when Blake started begging for him to do so and when his uncle let him go, he was quick to get off the bed and go to Louis sitting next to him.

“I’m afraid we have to go, it’s been a long day and we need to rest.” Liam spoke up seeing Zayn looking exhausted.

“Same here.” Niall sighed not wanting to go yet but it was starting to get late, “It was wonderful to see you and I promise I’ll come see you tomorrow after work.” He made his way to Louis giving him a hug as soon as Anne let go of him then after saying his goodbyes to the others, ended up leaving first.

“I’ll come see you tomorrow. Love you.” Zayn hugged Louis followed by Liam and a few minutes later left leaving Anne, Harry and Blake alone with Louis.

“Are we spending the night here?” Blake asked breaking the comfortable silence that had settled in the room.

“No buddy, you’re going back home with nana. You can come see your dad tomorrow after school.” Harry told him seeing him pouting already and Louis giving him a nervous look, “I’m staying here with you, I’m not gonna leave you alone.” Harry told him bringing him closer to him kissing the side of his head.

“But I want to stay here with daddy, I don’t want to go to school.” Blake insisted clinging to Louis trying to push Harry away from him.

“I know, but you have to go to school. No buts.” Harry gave him a warning look that had Blake glaring at him for a few seconds then settled down when Louis whispered something on his ear.

“Promise?” Blake mumbled looking at his father.

“Promise, I’m not going anywhere.” Louis linked his pinkie finger with him giving him a smile.

“We’ll be here tomorrow after school.” Anne promised Louis smiling when he hugged her grandson as tight as he could.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay.” Louis kissed Blake’s forehead over and over until his son was giggling before he kissed his forehead then the tip of his nose making Louis smile when his son showed him how much he loved him too, “I love you, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow and I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here waiting for you.”

“Okay, love you too.” Blake wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck and kissed him one more time before going to Harry to say goodbye before leaving.

When he finally left Harry helped Louis to the bed being careful with his IV only to end up taking him to the bathroom to help him brush his teeth. He still didn’t have any bowel movements, something Louis was glad of not wanting to go through that embarrassment only having to pee once before bed. As soon as he was in bed he let Harry brush his teeth and change into more comfortable clothes wondering why he had done it in the bathroom when there was nothing to hide. He wondered if Harry still felt the same, if deep inside he still loved him like he used to.

“Do you need anything else before we go to sleep?” Harry asked him.

“No.” Louis answered, “Do you have to work tomorrow?” He asked.

“I’m taking the rest of the week off so I’ll be here as long as you want me to.” Harry informed him as he fixed the blankets around Louis.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Louis gave him a questioning look.

“I don’t know.” Harry shrugged.

“I’ll always want you here. Isn’t that what we wanted? To be a family.” Louis stared at Harry seeing the way he fidgeted under his gaze.

“Yeah, but after all this years don’t feel obligated to be with me. If that’s not what you want then I won’t force you and...and please don’t force yourself to be with me.” Harry clarified waiting for Louis to say something afraid of what it would be.

“My feelings haven’t changed.” Louis spoke up after what to Harry felt like eternity, “I’m not too sure about yours. You- You don’t look at me the same. You sometimes have this look on your face like I’m a stranger, but I’m not, I’m still me. I didn’t get a chance to get old like you did and I’m stuck at eighteen but I’m still Louis and you’re still Harry no matter how old you are or how much you’ve changed.”

“They never changed, okay. I never stopped loving you.” Harry placed his hands on Louis’ cheeks making sure to look him in the eye freezing when Louis started leaning closer.

Their lips barely touched before Harry closed the space left in between them feeling Louis’ fingers tangling through his hair just like they used to. It still had the same effect on him. He kissed him slow and sweet not wanting to frighten him and when he pulled back, he opened his eyes to see Louis still had his closed. He kissed him one more time making Louis smile before he opened his eyes.

“Never doubt how much I love you.” Harry told him before he let him go seeing Louis nodding as he licked his lips.

"That's all I needed to know." Louis finally said after a few seconds of silence where Harry stared at him.

“Come on, you need to sleep. You look exhausted and I just know Blake will exhaust you tomorrow when he gets here.” Harry let Louis get comfortable before he kissed his forehead then his lips making Louis smile as he made his way to the couch.

“Stay here...with me.” Louis shyly said holding his breath when Harry said nothing then ended up sighing in relief when Harry grabbed an extra blanket and made his way to him.

“Goodnight, darling.” Harry mumbled once he was comfortable next to Louis smiling when Louis slowly linked their fingers together as soon as he had put his arm over his waist.

“Goodnight, love.” Louis said closing his eyes and falling asleep soon after; however, it wasn’t a peaceful one when he started remembering things he wanted to always remember and others he wished he could forget.

 

_He looked down at his three week old baby who for some reason wouldn’t go down to sleep for the night and he was exhausted. Blake had his eyes wide open showing Louis how blue they were much like his own wondering if they will ever change into green or stay like that. He smiled when Blake let out a squeaky sound and stretched his little arms out before curling up into a ball right in Louis’ warm hold._

_“You are sleepy, cupcake.” Louis chuckled seeing him yawning before he leaned down to kiss his tiny fist starting to rock him again._

_The rocking chair was his favorite out of all the things they had gotten for Blake and he loved to sit there and hold his son. Loved to hold him even though he could almost never do it for long always feeling exhausted._

_“You want me to sing to you?” Louis whispered smiling when his son yawned again but refused to close his eyes._

_Louis smiled and began to sing as he rocked themselves back and forth wishing Harry was with them._

**_“Hush, little baby, don’t say a word, daddy’s going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won’t sing, daddy’s going to buy you a diamond ring. If that diamond ring turns brass, daddy’s going to buy you a looking glass. If that looking glass gets broke, daddy’s going to buy you a billy goat. If that billy goat won’t pull, daddy’s going to buy you a cart and bull. If that cart and bull turn over, daddy’s going to buy you a dog named Rover. If that dog named Rover won’t bark, daddy’s going to buy you a horse and cart. If that horse and cart fall down, you’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town.”_ **

_When Louis finished singing he smiled when he found Blake fast asleep staying there for a bit just watching him until he got up to put him in his crib. He took a deep breath feeling his body too heavy for him to be able to get up with ease. It took him longer than it would someone else for him to get there and when he did, he placed his baby in his crib kissing his forehead._

_“I love you, cupcake. Papa loves you too.” Louis whispered._

 

Louis tried to turn around in his sleep but couldn’t when he had an arm wrapped around his waist and couldn’t move his legs at all. He whimpered wanting to go back to that dream where he was with Blake and they were somehow okay. Instead, he found himself stuck in a dream where it had been the last thing he could remember before waking up again almost ten years feeling frightened and cold.

 

_“C- Call him...mum!” Louis started crying feeling weaker by the minute still holding onto his one month old._

_He watched her through blurry eyes as she ran to get the phone dialing as fast as she could making him wonder why now. Why was she so compliant now when there was nothing left to do and he was slowly slipping away, why now when it was too late.He let out a sob when he heard his Blake crying making sure not to let go of him knowing that could be his last moments with him. He took a deep breath feeling his chest hurting just by doing that shedding more tears when he heard his voice._

_Oh how had he missed it._

_“H- Hello?” Louis heard his voice making him want to cry yet held it in wanting to pretend that everything was okay, at least for a little bit, “Hello, who is this?”_

_“Ha- Harry.” Louis whimpered when the ache in his chest got stronger leaving him gasping for air._

_“Lou! Lou, love where are you? Is our baby-”_

_“Harry, I- I don’t have time.” Louis interrupted him already seeing dark spots clouding his vision, they only got worse when he started coughing._

_“Tell me where you are...I- I can go get you, but please just tell me where you are.” Louis heard him start to cry hearing his mother telling him to hurry up while all he wanted was to tell Harry everything was going to be okay, “Lou…”_

_Louis smiled a little hearing his voice even though he sounded so broken, so exhausted and that’s not how Louis wanted to hear him for the last time. He reached down to kiss the top of his Blake’s little head as his lips trembled not wanting to leave him behind and alone, but what else could he do._

_He couldn’t fight it any longer and the last thing he could do was reassure Harry he still loved him and always will. He mouthed a sorry against the top of Blake’s head feeling the soft strands of his hair against his lips as he let more tears fall, one of them landing right on the top of his small head._

_“I just...I want you to know that I will always love you okay. No m- matter where I go, or how much time passes, I- I will always love you. I lo- love you f- forever...” Louis finally spoke up feeling nothing when everything went dark._

_The last thing he had heard being his son’s cries mixed with his mother’s sobs, he could care less about her pain when it had been nothing compared to his._

 

Louis woke up screaming, that was something he was sure of when he opened his eyes desperately searching for a source of light. He didn't want to be in darkness anymore. He thrashed in the bed trying to hold onto something doing so when he felt a pair of warm arms wrapping around him and seconds later, the pressure of lips against the top of his head shushing him.

“I- It’s dark…” Louis sobbed against his chest, “I don’t want to be in the dark, I don’t- not again.” He started shaking feeling Harry rubbing his back then running his fingers through his hair.

“You’re okay, I’m right here.” Harry rubbed his back again then reached for his phone turning it on casting a faint white light around them.

His heart broke when he saw Louis’ cheeks stained with tears putting his phone down to wipe them away hugging him again when more kept falling. He started getting worried when Louis started shaking and without thinking started humming a lullaby holding Louis close to him.

“Was it a bad dream?” Harry asked closing his eyes when Louis nodded against his chest, “Then it was just a bad dream, darling. Just a bad dream, you’re okay. Nothing bad’s going to happen, you’re safe here.” Harry soothed him feeling his small hands holding onto the sides of his shirt.

“It wasn’t just a bad dream.” Louis cried, “It was real, i-it was the last time I t- talked to you.”

“It’s all over now, darling. We’re here now, we’re together and nothing’s going to separate us again. Blake and I are going nowhere and neither are you.” Harry spoke in a soothing nod feeling Louis nodding, “Go back to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Harry helped Louis get comfortable again and fell asleep a few minutes later wishing he could take away all of Louis’ painful memories, he just wanted him to be happy once and for all. That night he slept as close to Louis as he could and by morning he was the first to wake up already having ordered food for both of them. He was going to start him on soft foods then go from there as well as help exercise his legs wanting him to be able to move them soon.

He got up when he heard a knock on the door and thinking it was Elena he told her to come in but instead saw Mark slowly walking in. He knew he had to check on Louis and was glad he was still asleep or else it would be hell when Louis wanted nothing to do with his parents.

“How is he doing?” Mark asked waiting for Harry to allow him to get closer doing so when Harry nodded.

“Good so far, no complications with his heart at all.” Harry explained letting Mark make sure of it on his own unaware that Louis was now awake and listening to their conversation.

“I think he’s good to go home, the cryopreservation didn’t leave lasting side effects after all the testing we did. Have you made accommodations for him at your house? Because I’m assuming you’re taking him with you.” Mark said.

“There’s not much to change.” Harry shrugged, “It’s his home too, always has been.” Harry made his way to Louis’ other side grabbing his hand.

“How’s Blake? I haven’t seen him in a while.” Mark asked gathering his things to leave not wanting to upset his son with his presence in case he woke up.

“He’s been doing great, he met Louis yesterday.” Harry smiled seeing Mark smiling too.

“How did it go?”

“Wonderful, better than I thought it would.” Harry started rubbing circles on the top of Louis’ hand seeing his eyelids moving.

“I’m glad. Well I better get going, Jay wants to know how he’s doing so I’m gonna give her a call.” Mark said as he ran his fingers through Louis’ hair then left knowing he was going to wake up at any moment.

As soon as Mark was gone, Louis finally opened his eyes as he yawned receiving a smile from Harry returning it right away. There was a knock on the door then it opened revealing Elena who rolled in a cart full of food leaving it on the overbed table.

“Good morning.” Harry smiled at him then got up to roll the table closer to them, “I’m going to start giving you soft foods. Is oatmeal okay?”

“More than okay, I’m tired of only liquids.” Louis yawned as he tried to stretch his arms letting Harry feed him noticing how hungry he was.

“Good?” Harry asked pausing to wipe the sides of his mouth with a napkin.

“Tastes good.” Louis confirmed seeing Harry wasn’t eating, “You can eat too...let me try and eat on my own. I don’t think it’s fair that you have to eat your food when it’s already cold.”

“I don’t really mind.” Harry shrugged and ended up giving the spoon to Louis when he insisted.

He started eating his food watching Louis once in a while as he slowly ate his food and that’s when he started eating his own without a worry. They ate in silence until Louis stopped telling him that he was full and Harry made a mental note to ask Elena for a smaller amount of food for lunch. When he was done eating his food he put away all the dishes getting ready to help Louis to the bathroom where he let him brush his teeth then helped him stand up in front of the toilet to do his business.

“I heard Mark.” Louis said as soon as he was back in bed wincing a little when Harry folded his right leg at the knee and even though he hated doing the exercises, he knew it was for his own good if he wanted to walk again.

“Yeah, he was here to check on you. You’ll be able to go home now so whenever you’re ready...and I think Zayn’s going to come see you.” Harry informed him watching Louis deflate a little, “What’s wrong?”

“Home. With you and Blake?” Louis pulled on the sleeves of his shirt over his hands.

“Of course, it’s your home too you know. I acquired it with you in mind, I think you’re going to love it.” Harry winked at him making him blush.

“I want to go home, I’m tired of being here. I spent almost ten years here and I want to leave this place as soon as I can.” Louis rubbed the top of his right hand.

“We can go now if you want to, your dad said it was okay.” Harry let go of Louis’ leg to start on the other one.

“That man is not my dad.” Louis nearly growled, his face getting red with rage.

“Mark.” Harry corrected himself not wanting to upset him any further, “He said it was okay for you to come home now so if you want to we could go now.” Harry said only to realize seconds later that he wasn’t ready at all.

He still had a lot to do like buy Louis a whole new wardrobe and other necessities he was going to need, he still had to call Rebecca to ask her if she could clean his house. He wasn’t going to bring Louis into a dirty house and knowing Blake, it was probably a mess. He quickly grabbed his phone and sent her a text asking her if she could do it offering a bonus and when she replied with a yes, he was all set.

“I want to wait for Blake so we can all go together. Can you tell Zayn to meet us there later today?” Louis asked continuing when Harry gave him a questioning look, “I want to do something first before we leave.”

“What is it?” Harry asked furrowing his brow when Louis took a deep breath.

“I want you to show me the place where I was kept for the past ten years.” Louis finally said wanting to see it himself, wanting to be able to let go and start over with Harry and their son.

“Alright.” Harry nodded surprising Louis at how quickly he agreed.

Harry quickly sent Zayn a text asking him to meet them later and when he was done with Louis’ exercises, he picked him up and placed him in a wheelchair after he had made sure to bundle him up knowing it was still cold there. He slowly made his way there having to go all the way down to the basement always rubbing on a spot on Louis’ left shoulder to bring comfort to him.

As soon as they were in front of the metal door Harry placed his hand on the scanner then stood in front of the biometric eye scanner so it could scan them. He took a step back wheeling the chair back just as the metal doors slid open and the cold air rushed out like always, the only difference being that Louis was now with him and was alive.

“It’s so cold.” Louis mumbled as he looked around when Harry made his way in, “And looks so...so lonely. I thought they would be more people here.”

“They are kept in another room, this was only for you.” Harry answered looking at the now disabled capsule covered in the metal doors he was always forced to shut down after seeing Louis.

“Can you open it?” Louis asked, his voice trembling in fear at what might be behind those doors.

“Louis, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Harry gulped not wanting to see it ever again.

“Please...I just want to see where I was kept.” Louis begged knowing he had won when Harry sighed and started making his way to it.

He watched him type a password on the keyboard on the wall and after hearing a beeping sound, the doors slid open revealing the glass surface of the capsule. Louis gasped when he saw it, saw how empty and cold it looked then his eyes filled with tears at the sight of it. He had been stuck in there all alone in a place that was too eerie and away from the rest of the hospital. Upon seeing his tears Harry rushed to him kneeling down in front of him wiping his tears away even though more kept coming out.

“Why was I here all alone? Why wasn’t I with the rest?” Louis asked trying to calm down but couldn’t when he had been kept alone and away from the rest.

“I always came to see you everyday, so did Jay and Mark. That’s why Mark decided to keep you here and I thought it was for the best. I’m sorry.” Harry looked up at him with tears in his eyes only managing to make Louis cry more as he placed his hands on his cheeks.

“It’s not your fault.” Louis rubbed small circles on his right cheek with his thumb, “I want to see the others.” Louis said.

He had to wait for Harry to ask Mark for authorization when Harry didn't have access to the rest of them. Louis had ignored Mark as soon as he showed up to open it and once he did he was the first one to walk inside followed by them. He typed his password and soon all forty capsules were opening at the same time showing the bodies inside them as Louis watched with wide eyes.

Most of them were male and female adults no older than fifty and what frightened Louis the most was a capsule with a boy as old as Blake. He looked frightening and he wondered if he had looked just like him, he wondered what had caused his death, how had his parents coped with it.

“He had congenital heart disease.” Mark answered his question, “He was ten years old when he passed away five years ago. His parents haven’t contacted us now that Harry’s found a cure.”

“What’s his name?” Louis finally acknowledged him.

“Jacob.” Mark answered surprising Louis when he automatically answered right away, “I never forget their names and why they ended up here.”

Louis looked back at the boy unable to take his eyes off of him until Harry was taking him out of there and back to his bedroom to get ready to leave. He didn't say goodbye to Mark after he didn’t see him again and he was glad he had stayed away. He was on the bed watching Harry packing a small duffle bag with a few clothes that consisted of shirts, sweatpants and hoodies. He let him remove his IV then put him back on the wheelchair where he held on tight onto the sides.

“Ready?” Harry asked after he had placed the bag on Louis’ lap.

“Ready.” Louis answered.

He didn’t say a thing when they got to the underground parking lot or when Harry carried him into a black SUV seeing how shiny and new it was. He stayed quiet watching the city as Harry drove them home seeing just how much everything had changed, there were so many new things he had to learn. He then watched Harry until they entered what to him was one of the wealthiest neighborhoods having to wait for a gate to open just so they could enter it.

“Blake and mum are already waiting, Blake won’t go inside unless you’re there.” Harry informed him after reading text from his mum while they waited for the gates to open.

“My baby is such a sweet boy.” Louis smiled unable to wait any longer to see him.

They drove through it confusing Louis at the many turns smiling when he noticed Blake in the front garden of a two story house playing with a puppy, Anne sitting on a porch swing watching him. Blake stopped and quickly picked Harley up when he saw his father’s car slowing down in front of the house then driving into their driveway. He stayed on his spot watching Harry getting out of the car going to the back to get a wheelchair out making Blake smile as he made his way to his nana. It felt like forever to him but soon his papa was wheeling his dad in seeing the way he was looking at everything.

“Daddy!” Blake put Harley on the ground then rushed to his father’s arm smiling when Louis hugged him and repeatedly kissed his the top of his head.

“I missed you, cupcake.” Louis told him not wanting to let go of him just yet.

“You saw me yesterday.” Blake giggled then pulled away to pick up his puppy, “This is Harley, Harley this is daddy. I told you about him.” He introduced him putting him on Louis’ lap.

“Hi Harley.” Louis chuckled as he petted him already in love with the sweet puppy.

“Welcome home, Lou.” Anne hugged him.

“Thank you, Anne.” Louis returned the hug pulling away when Harry spoke up.

“Shall we go inside?” He asked unable to hide his smile.

“Yes!” Blake exclaimed then grabbed the dog and ran to open the door.

The first thing Louis saw when he walked in was a set of stairs,the top half enclosed by a wall and to his right a big kitchen and further away a family room where he could see a giant flat screen and glass sliding door. To his left there was a dining room and in front of him another big room making him wonder what it was. Louis was already in love with the house and especially with the kitchen.

“Do you like it?” Harry nervously asked watching Louis who was still looking around.

“I love it, and the kitchen is amazing. Just what I dreamed of.” Louis replied giving him a warm smile.

“You’re going to love the game room, we have games and a lot of movies. Do you want to watch one with me?” Blake asked, his face showing nothing but hope and who was Louis to deny his baby that.

“Can I?” Louis looked up at Harry.

“Of course! You can watch movies while mum and I make something to eat.” Harry smiled picking Louis up to take him downstairs through a door right underneath the staircase.

The stairs were straight all the way down and when they got there Louis could see it was a finished basement with the biggest tv he had ever seen and couches along a few bean bags scattered around. There was a shelf filled with action figures and in the tv stand there were a lot of movies behind the glass doors.

“Are you comfortable? Do you need something?” Harry asked after he had carefully placed Louis on the couch.

“I’m good for now, I’ll ask Blake to go get you in case I need something.” Louis smiled.

“Okay! Have fun you two.” Harry grinned then walked back upstairs while Blake searched for a movie.

“Do you want to watch Captain America? Papa and I always watch it and sometimes I watch them with grandpa Mark when he comes over and we get bored of playing poker.” Blake said as he searched for it, “Grandpa Mark is the best at poker and he’s teaching me how to be the bestest, better than him but don’t tell him I said that.” Blake giggled.

Louis frowned when he heard that feeling anger running through his body at the fact that he had gotten to spend time with Blake and Harry had let them while he was just getting to know him. He didn’t care how selfish he was being but he wanted Blake to himself and far far away from them who had ruined his and Harry’s lives as well as his son’s.

“Blake, baby come here.” Louis gave him a sweet smile when Blake rushed to him and sat down next to him.

“Do you want me to go get papa?” Blake asked, concern written all over his face.

“No, but I want you to answer something.” Louis told him then continued when Blake nodded knowing he was going to do what he wanted no matter what, “Do you love me?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, a whole lot.” Blake immediately answered making Louis smile never noticing it was a different smile, one that wasn’t pure at all but manipulative.

“I know you like visiting Mark and Jay but now that I’m here I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want you to see them anymore, cupcake.” Louis grabbed his hands when Blake’s smile turned into a frown.

“Why? Grandpa and Grandma are really nice and they love me. He plays poker with me and shows me lots of cool things and she bakes me cookies and reads me stories.” Blake said seeing his father frowning then his eyes filled with tears.

“Because it’s their fault I left you, they didn’t want me to be with papa so they took me away and that’s why I died. They made me sad and I got sick, that’s why I don’t want you to see them. Understand?” Louis tightened his hold on Blake’s hands hating how his blue eyes filled with tears but it had to be done.

“But they’re sorry.” Blake whimpered as his bottom lip trembled and just like that, the tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Sorry is not enough.” Louis snapped then his expression softened bringing Blake into a hug, “You love me, right?”

“Yeah.” Blake nodded.

“And you don’t want me to be sad again, do you?” Louis started rubbing his back.

“No, I don’t want you to leave me again. I jut got you back.” Blake started crying calming down when Louis kissed the side of his head and shushed him.

“Then you’re going to listen to me and not see them anymore, I’m here and I’m all you need. Okay?” Louis pulled back wiping away Blake’s tears then kissed his forehead.

“Okay.” Blake agreed reaching to hug his dad again afraid of him leaving him again.

Louis smiled as he looked around the room ignoring the damage he had caused when all he wanted was to keep his child from the people who had done so many bad things to him. After all, a body, mind and soul brought back to life after almost a decade frozen in time faces a future full of uncertainty. The dormant identity may emerge and bloom, like a flower from a patient seed, or new thoughts and emotions may supplant the old.

Louis liked to think he still was the old him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	11. This is how you remind me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited. Please don't forget to comment! Enjoy! :)

**After all, a body, mind and soul brought back to life after almost a decade frozen in time faces a future full of uncertainty. The dormant identity may emerge and bloom, like a flower from a patient seed, or new thoughts and emotions may supplant the old.**

__

The rain pelted against the glass door making a pitter patter sound that did nothing to disturb the two figures on the couch watching tv. The beginning of october was a chilly one and because of that, Louis found himself wrapped in a throw blanket with Blake in his arms. He was watching Captain America trying to focus his eyes on what was going on but was finding it difficult when they were moving too much. Instead he closed his eyes and pressed his right cheek on top of his son’s head who was wide awake watching the movie.

He opened his eyes when the guilt came out of nowhere knowing that what he had done was wrong. He had put his son in a situation where he made him choose between his grandparents and him then closed his eyes again trying to ignore the fact that he was already a crappy parent. He tightened his grip around Blake when he moved and it was something that was starting to affect him, too scared of waking up and finding himself back in that capsule or never waking up again.

He didn’t even move when he heard the footsteps coming from the stairs and instead began fearing that Blake might say something. The mere thought sent shivers down his spine not wanting Harry to get angry at him but there was no way he was going to let them see Blake ever again.

“Lou, Blake?” Harry called for them as he walked in now dressed in grey sweatpants and a black shirt.

His hair was wet making it look longer than usual and Louis couldn’t get it out of his head just how handsome he looked standing there, the tv light giving him a glowing look. The years had done him well and his heart ached wondering what he would look like had he stayed and aged with him, both of them growing old together like they had planned.

His eyes filled with tears guessing he’ll never know and now the fear of Harry dying long before him had settled in piercing his heart like a dagger. He was sure that if that happened and he was left behind, he would follow soon after unable to live life without him.

“Is dinner ready?” Blake asked moving away from Louis as soon as he could.

“Yeah. Can you grab your dad’s shoes for him while I carry him upst-” Harry stopped talking when Blake bolted upstairs leaving both his parents behind, “Did something happen?” Harry asked looking the way his son had gone to then back at Louis.

“I think he’s just starving.” Louis shrugged pushing the guilt away replacing it with hate thinking of all the things they had caused, “What’s for dinner?” Louis asked expecting something like oatmeal.

“Mac and cheese for you and Blake, and for my mum and I, minestrone soup. Blake hates it.” Harry chuckled as he picked Louis up with such ease it made Louis wonder when did he have time to work out.

“No offense but ew.” Louis tried to hide his grin when Harry scoffed.

“You were never a fan of it, darling.” Harry scrunched up his nose.

“That date was complete disaster, huh?” Louis reminisced still blushing at the memories.

“If you mean telling me how much you hated the soup long before you found out what I had cooked for you then no, it wasn’t complete disaster because we still had fun.” Harry gave him the sweetest smile holding onto him tighter when he started ascending the stairs.

“That was the night I lost my v card to you.” Louis blurted out seeing Harry’s cheeks getting a bit rosy, “Do they still use that term?” He asked trying to change the subject wondering why it affected Harry when they had been past that a long time ago.

He guessed time did change people after all.

“I have no idea, I’m too old for that now.” Harry shrugged wanting to take it back when he saw Louis looking down and away from him staying silent the whole way upstairs.

He placed him on the wheelchair as soon as they got there then pushed him towards the kitchen seeing Louis looking around. When they got there Anne and Blake were already sitting at the table waiting for them while Harry helped Louis wash his hands then brought him closer to the table placing him right next to Blake. They started eating without saying anything until Anne noticed Blake giving Louis sad looks.

“So! What movie were you guys watching?” She asked looking at Blake then Louis.

“Captain America.” Blake answered after a few seconds of hearing only the spoons sometimes clinking against the plate.

“Really!?” Anne smiled at him then looked at Louis, “Did you like it?” She asked.

“I didn’t see much of it, I couldn’t focus and it was giving me a headache. But I bet it’s great!” Louis gave her a smile then looked at Blake who was staring at and playing with his food making him feel awful.

“What’s wrong, bud?” Harry furrowed his brow seeing his son squirming under their gazes.

“I’m tired, school was boring and hard today and Jeffrey didn’t go so I was alone.” Blake shrugged then ate a spoonful of mac and cheese.

“I bet fourth grade does get boring sometimes.” Louis commented as he finished his food.

“I’m in fifth grade, I skipped a grade.” Blake barely looked at him before his attention was on Harley now that the puppy was awake.

“Oh...then you must be really smart.” Louis tried to smile but it quickly turned into a grimace, “Just like your dad.”

“Papa is way more smart.” Blake said giving Harry a knowing smile that had Louis squirming on his seat, the jealousy slowly clawing at his insides.

What Blake had with Harry, he wanted just that and it hurt to be so out of the loop when it came to his child. He was like a complete stranger or the least, someone that had no point being there when they all had moved on without him. He didn’t nor had he ever belonged there like he had made himself think just a few days ago in order to make it through the day knowing how fucked up his life was now. He wondered if it was better he had stayed in that capsule never to be bothered again, it sounded so appealing at the moment.

“Are you okay, Lou?” Anne asked giving him worried looks seeing the way his hand that was holding the fork was shaking.

“I...I don’t feel too good.” Louis responded unable to tell them that physically he was fine. Mentally and emotionally, he was hurting.

“What’s wrong?” Harry immediately got up to go to him and see if he could figure out what was wrong.

“I’m just really tired, it’s nothing.” Louis assured him wanting to cry for no reason other than the house he was in didn’t feel like home and neither did his parents house. He no longer had a home.

“Are you sure? You look a little pale.” Harry told him getting more worried when Louis tensed up as soon as he grabbed his hand.

“I said it’s nothing!” Louis snapped startling both Blake and Anne then looked down as his eyes filled with tears not knowing what the hell was wrong with him. It was starting to frustrate him, “I just...I’m sorry. I think I should go to bed, I’m exhausted.” Louis refused to look them in the eye as he fiddled with his hands.

“Okay.” Harry smiled at him then wheeled the chair over to the stairs where he picked him up, “Where do you want to sleep? We have the guest bedrooms or...or my bedroom. Wherever you’re comfortable in.” Harry looked him in the eye hating the way tears were pooling in them.

“Your bedroom...I hate being alone.” Louis mumbled resting his head on his shoulder just wanting to be in bed, “And I want to be with you.”

“Whatever you want, darling.” Harry kissed his forehead then his lips without hesitating taking Louis by surprise who didn't have time to kiss back when the kiss ended too soon.

When they walked into the bedroom Louis looked around unable to shake off the thought that this was Harry’s bedroom, something they didn’t share and wasn’t his. Harry went straight to the bathroom after Louis insisted on taking a shower and when Harry tried to get an actual bath ready, he refused not wanting to be sitting down in his own grime. He didn’t care if he was being difficult, he just wanted things to go his way for once.

Harry ended up bringing a chair from the kitchen glad that they weren’t wood and set it in the middle of the large shower putting a towel so Louis could be comfortable. He set the water at the right temperature then helped Louis take his clothes off placing him on the chair seeing him shivering a bit not caring that he too was getting wet.

When they were done he helped him get dry then put clean clothes back on before helping him do whatever he had to do before going to bed. As soon as Louis was in bed and about to fall asleep was when Harry finally went back downstairs feeling bad when he saw his mum had already cleaned the kitchen and was now helping Blake with his homework.

“Mum, you didn’t have to clean the kitchen.” Harry said as soon as he stepped into the game room seeing Louis’ shoes neatly placed by Blake’s.

“It was nothing, sweetheart. I want to help you as much as I can.” Anne shrugged then wrapped an arm around him when he sat down next to her, “How’s Louis doing?”

“Thank you, mum.” Harry kissed her cheek, “He’s asleep now.”

“Is daddy okay?” Blake asked as he fiddled with his pencil.

“Yeah bud, he was just tired. It’s been a long day for him.” Harry said moving to sit next to him to help him with what was left of his homework finding out he was already done.

“Did I make him sad?” Blake asked starting to get upset at the thought.

“No, of course not. Why would you say that?” Harry gave him his full attention wrapping an arm around him.

“Because of what I said. When I told him I was in fifth grade and not in fourth...he didn’t know that and I know I made him sad. I didn’t mean to, papa. Is he gonna leave us again?” Blake asked confusing Harry even more as well as Anne who was starting to get worried.

“Okay, what is going on?” Harry asked him, “Your dad is not leaving us, we just got him back and he’s not going anywhere. Why do you think he’s going to leave us?”

“I don’t know…” Blake went back to doing his homework and started fidgeting when Harry kept staring at him.

“Did something happen to make you think he’s leaving?” Anne asked him sensing how nervous her grandson was seeing him letting out a loud sigh. Blake couldn’t keep anything from his nana.

“Because I made him sad and grandpa Mark and grandma Jay made him sad, that’s why he got sick and went to sleep. That’s why he left me and papa.” Blake explained knowing he shouldn’t have had told them when Harry’s face started getting redder and redder but kept going anyway, “It’s their fault he left us and I don’t want to see them ever again.”

“Who told you this?” Harry raised his voice, “You know Mark and Jay are sorry and they love you just as much as they love Louis.”

“Daddy told me it’s their fault and he doesn’t lie.” Blake shrugged before he picked up his things and left taking his and Louis’ shoes with him knowing Harley was going to follow him.

“There’s an explanation for this, Harry.” Anne said seeing Harry about to get up.

“Yeah, he’s turning him against them. He’s filling him with hate and I’m not going to allow that, I’ve worked so hard all this time to keep myself from doing that.” Harry said, his voice getting louder the closer he got to the stairs.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret later.” Anne ran after him grabbing him by the arm but Harry was bigger than her and easily pulled his arm away, “He’s hurt and confused, Harry.” She said nearly sighing in relief when that made him stop in his tracks.

“That still doesn’t excuse what he did.” Harry sighed.

“You saw him at dinner, you saw the way he is now. Don’t act like nothing's wrong and he’s the same because you know better than anyone else he’s not. He’s going through a hard time right now and maybe seeing that his parents know Blake when he doesn’t is enough to anger him. We have to be patient, we have to be understanding and be there for him. We’re all he has in this world, this world that is nothing like the one he left behind.” Anne’s eyes filled with tears hating to see Louis like that.

“I still need to talk to him. I don’t like what he’s doing and it’s not right, I’m not gonna let him keep doing that.” Harry ran a hand through his hair seeing his mother nodding.

“I have to go now but please promise me you’re not gonna do something stupid.” Anne gave him a warning look before hugging him.

“I promise.” Harry kissed the side of her head as he wrapped his arms around her, “Are you coming tomorrow? I know it’s a saturday so if you don’t want to then you don’t have to.”

“I’ll be here everyday as long as you want me here.” Anne squeezed him hearing him groaning.

“Then I think you should permanently move in, I’ll always want you here, mummy. Thank you for everything you do.” Harry rubbed her back.

“I have my home and you have your own with Blake and now Louis too. Just the three of you...and of course Harley too.” She chuckled pulling away from her son.

“Yeah, it still feels like a dream.” Harry smiled holding onto her hands.

“It isn’t love, Louis is here now.” She gave her a smile full of hope for a bright future for her sons and grandchild. Maybe a few more grandchildren from Harry and Louis.

She ended up leaving a few minutes later getting in her car with Harry standing close enough not wanting anything bad to happen to her. He walked back inside about to tell Blake to take a shower finding out that he was already taking one then made his way to his bedroom quietly walking in. Louis was asleep in the same position where he had left him and as he watched him he wanted to still be angry at him but now he couldn’t.

He couldn’t when he had missed him so much for the past decade and now that he was there in his bed he only wanted to give him the world. He wanted to make him happy and show him a brand new world where Louis had to learn how to live in and he was going to be there for him every step of the way. He watched him for a few more seconds until Louis stirred in his sleep mumbling Harry’s name and that was his cue to go to the bathroom and take a shower.

He took his sweet time doing everything he had to do and when he was done he said goodnight to Blake, turned off all the lights, turned on the security system and went to bed wearing only a pair of grey sweatpants. He lay as close to Louis as he could smiling a little when the smaller man placed his head on his chest and wrapped an arm around him because even in his sleep, Louis knew it was Harry.

In the middle of the night Louis woke up a bit sweaty after dreaming once again of the time he gave birth to Blake and for some reason he found himself looking for his baby. He started getting desperate when he couldn’t find him in the darkness that was the bedroom until he spotted a figure standing at the foot of the bed staring at them. That’s when he noticed Harry had his arm wrapped around his waist, he was shirtless and his face was buried in the crook of his neck.

“Daddy…”

Louis looked up when he heard his child’s small frightened voice and without thinking held out his arm feeling better when Blake held his hand. He let him crawl in bed with them right in the middle after he had a bit of trouble getting Harry to let go. As soon as Blake was underneath the covers next to him, Louis wrapped his arms around him wondering if his son had had a bad dream when he could feel him still shaking.

“Was it a bad dream?” Louis asked as he rubbed his back feeling Blake nodding against his chest and his little hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

“Y- Yeah…” Blake mumbled closing his eyes again inhaling his father’s scent, he smelt like apples just like his bodywash.

“Wanna talk about it?” Louis asked trying his hardest to be the best father he could not wanting to disappoint his child any further.

“I dreamt that you left with someone else and papa was so sad...and you didn’t want me anymore because you had more babies with that man.” Blake’s voice trembled feeling his father’s lips pressing against his forehead in the longest kiss he had ever gotten. It helped push his fears away yet he needed reassurance.

“Wanna know something about dreams?” Louis pulled away moving his hand to run his fingers through his curls.

“Yeah.” Blake mumbled.

“They’re not real, cupcake. And I will never leave you, I just got you back and I don’t want to lose you again. I missed you and papa so much.” Louis reassured him looking down at him when Blake pulled back to look up at him.

“And you’re never going to leave papa, right? You’ll have more babies with papa, right?” Blake asked.

“I am never leaving him and maybe some day but for now I want to spend lots of time with you.” Louis hugged him bringing him closer to him.

“You pinky promise?” Blake asked holding out his pinkie finger, “Gentleman's agreement?”

“I pinkie promise.” Louis linked his pinkie with his son’s, “Gentleman’s agreement.”

“Can I sleep here?” Blake timidly asked.

“Of course you can, we just gotta make space for papa if we don’t want him to fall off the bed.” Louis poked Blake’s side making him giggle and cover his mouth with his hand when he got too loud.

“I love you.” Louis mumbled against the side top of Blake’s head letting him move around until he was comfortable on his side facing him with his face pressed against his chest.

Louis couldn’t believe that the last time he had held him like that was when Blake was just a newborn which seemed like yesterday but it had been forever ago.

“Love you too.” Blake said before he closed his eyes and minutes later fell asleep feeling safe in his father’s arm, more when Harry turned around and wrapped his long arm around them.

Both of them fell asleep ignoring Harry who had a big smile on their face having witnessed the whole thing yet had said nothing wanting them to have their moment. He too fell asleep into a comfortable dreamless sleep where he finally rested well enough to not be tired the next day.

When he woke up the next day it was to Louis shaking him a little and without saying anything, he got up and helped Louis to the bathroom almost tripping over Harley who was sleeping by the bed. He let Louis do what he had to do and when they were brushing their teeth, Blake walked in going straight to the toilet to pee not caring about the audience. When he was done he flushed the toilet and was about to go back to bed when Harry stopped him before he could make his great escape.

“You have to wash your hands and brush your teeth.” Harry told him chuckling when Blake pouted.

“I want to go back to sleep.” Blake whined but washed his hands anyway seeing his fathers smiling at him.

“You can once you do what I asked you to do.” Harry smiled at him then continued brushing his teeth.

Blake went back to bed as soon as he could taking Harley with them and when Harry asked Louis if he wanted to go back to bed he saw that as his opportunity to talk to him when Louis refused. He took him down to the kitchen after showing him around upstairs then downstairs listening to everything Louis had to say about the house. He left him at the small table then started making pancakes and oatmeal for Louis planning to give him at least a pancake.

“I was wondering why Blake was upset last night.” Harry started seeing Louis looking at him with wide eyes before lowering his gaze again.

“He was? I didn’t notice…” Louis trailed off fiddling with his hands under the table.

“Louis...you should know he’s allowed to see Mark and Jay as much as he wants to.” Harry slowly said waiting for a reaction not expecting it to get it as fast as he did.

“I am his father too and I don’t want him to see them anymore, they’re not welcome in this house.” Louis glared at Harry seeing him putting the bowl of batter down before making his way to him.

“Louis...he grew up with them, they helped me raise him and you can’t take that away from him. Blake is not the one to blame here for their mistakes, he loves them and they love him too. Think of how this is going to affect our son.” Harry begged taking Louis’ hands in his.

“You can’t be serious, right? They did a lot of bad things to us and you’re defending them, you’re defending the people that killed me.” Louis’ eyes filled with tears hoping they were enough to convince Harry.

“They’re also the people who took care of you all these years, kept you well preserved.” Harry snapped knowing he needed to calm down but couldn’t when everything was finally catching up to him.

“Yeah. Well preserved like a piece of meat.” Louis glared at him, hate filling his eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.” Harry sighed as his anger quickly evaporated.

“Really? What did you mean then? You know it’s nothing but the truth and I never asked for it, you and Mark should have left me rest in peace. It’s better than sitting here still looking like a damn eighteen year old while you moved on and got to live a normal life.” Louis said as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

“You don’t know what I went through all these years.” Harry felt his eyes stinging with tears.

“Exactly! I didn’t because I was dead and frozen in that damn capsule like a piece of meat all thanks to Mark and Jay. I never got to see what you went through while you watched me there year after year.” Louis started crying pulling his hands away from Harry’s, “I...I just wanted to be with you and our son and look what they did to me, they killed me and I will never forgive them.”

“I understand that.” Harry grabbed his hands again refusing to let go when Louis tried to pull them away holding tight until he stopped trying, “I haven’t fully forgiven them and I don’t know if I ever will when they took you away but having all this hate for them isn’t good for you. You should at least talk to Jay, she always texts or calls me to ask about you and if she can come see you. She’s literally heartbroken...let her come see you and Blake.” He begged.

“I was heartbroken too and they didn’t care, why should I?” Louis coldly said before he slipped his hands out of Harry’s warm hold, “Blake is not allowed to see them anymore.”

“Louis don’t do this to Blake.” Harry continued begging.

“I said he’s not allowed to anymore, either you accept it or you won’t see me ever again. And know that if I leave, I’m not leaving alone.” Louis threatened making Harry remember Blake’s dream long ago.

_"It was about daddy, he- he took me away from you and Harley. He said you were a bad person but I know that's not true, papa. He took me away from everybody and then he left me alone to go with someone else, told me he didn't love me."_

“Fine then, just know you’ll be hurting our son.” Harry got up to continue making breakfast not speaking to Louis until Blake walked in going straight to give him a hug then went to Louis.

They mostly stayed silent as they ate and Blake did most of the talking telling Louis stories about him and his friends from school. He had told him about his fight with Jeffrey about their dads not being around making Louis feel bad because his baby boy had to go through that. He promised himself to make it up to him no matter what now that he was back and wasn’t going anywhere and if he was, Blake was gonna go with him. He would never leave his child ever again.

When they were done eating Blake took Harley outside so he could do his business while Louis stayed in the kitchen with Harry watching him clean everything up. He felt useless when he couldn’t help him around and when he was done, they went downstairs to watch a movie when Blake had begged them.

“I was angry, I will never leave you.” Louis whispered in Harry’s ear as soon as Blake had gone and lay down on the floor with the bowl of popcorn next to him, “I’m sorry I said that. I will never take him away from you.”

“You were angry, it happens.” Harry wrapped an arm around his shoulders smiling when Louis snuggled up to him.

His legs were over his lap and he was sitting as close to him as he could covered with a blanket. They looked at Blake smiling when he gasped and sat up just when Steve recognized Bucky, it was his favorite scene. Louis knew what it was like to be frozen just like the winter soldier except that he had been dead when the character had been alive and suffering.

Louis had felt nothing at all. To him it was as if he had gone to sleep for only a few seconds and then he was waking up again. It felt as if he was never going to get to move on and be happy but when Harry looked at him and smiled, he knew his family would always be there with him helping him get through everything.

His family was finally complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	12. And you'll never break it, until you learn to see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking forever to post this chapter! I've been busy and have two other stories to write. This chapter is all over the place lol so please bear with me, everything happens for a reason. Please don't forget to comment. Enjoy! :)

After Harry’s and Louis’ talk that morning they spent the whole day together just the three of them when Anne had called Harry wanting them to have alone time and so did Zayn. By dinnertime they had every single board game they owned out on the corner of the game room after they had played almost all of them.

Louis and Harry both watched their son removing a block from the tower as gentle as he could after Harry had proposed they played Jenga. They had it on top of the coffee table and just when Blake was sure he was going to be successful, Harley yapped at him startling him a bit making the whole tower collapse. Louis burst out laughing followed by Harry and finally Blake who looked at the blocks as he did so.

“I wanted to win.” Blake stopped laughing just to pout again letting Louis hug him.

“But you’ve already won so many times! Give papa and I a chance.” Louis hugged him tight then started kissing his cheeks as loud as he could making Blake laugh while Harry watched them with a big smile on his face.

“I’m gonna go make dinner. You guys stay here, okay.” Harry got up intending to head up to the kitchen when Blake stopped him.

“Can we make dinner together?” He asked from where he was still in Louis’ arms grabbing his hand that Louis was quick to grab too.

“What do you want to make?” Harry asked him looking at Louis who was looking equally excited.

“Pizza!” Blake exclaimed trying to get up but couldn’t when Louis wouldn’t let go of him.

He decided to stay still somehow knowing his dad liked to hug him a lot because he had missed so many years of his life already and that was okay with him. He enjoyed his hugs and now he had someone giving him all the attention he craved. He had his father and he loved him to pieces just like he loved his papa.

“Is pizza okay with you?” Harry asked Louis who was still sitting on the floor reminding himself not to forget to take him to physical therapy starting monday, “You can eat a bit, just make sure you do it slowly. I can always make you something else.”

“Yeah! More than okay.” Louis smiled at him.

They stared at each other until Blake screamed kicking his legs out begging Louis to let go when Harley started licking all over his face. As soon as Louis did he sat up then got up running up the stairs with Harley chasing after him and Harry shouting at him to be careful. Louis let Harry pick him up and take him upstairs looking at the mess they had left behind wanting to at least pick it up until he could no longer see it. He figured out he’ll just ask Harry later that day.

When they finally made it upstairs Harry gently placed Louis on the wheelchair and wheeled him towards the kitchen where Blake already was. He had half his body in the fridge looking for the ingredients pouting when he announced that they didn’t have any pepperoni and tomato sauce.

“I’ll go get them and while I’m gone both of you can get everything ready.” Harry said as he grabbed his car keys.

“Okay!” Blake said, “Can you get me lunchables too for next week? Please.” He asked giving him a sweet smile.

“Okay.” Harry agreed then looked at Louis, “Do you want anything?” He asked.

“Umm...Fruit punch juice? The one I like if they still sell it.” Louis timidly asked.

“They do. Anything else?” Harry asked them.

“That’s it.” Louis said glancing at Blake who nodded.

Harry ended up leaving a few minutes later after getting his coat and telling Blake to be careful around his father completely forgetting his Iphone. Louis watched his son as he walked around the beautiful modern kitchen gathering ingredients as he talked about anything that would pop into his head.

“So you like classical music?” Louis asked completely fascinated watching Blake nodding as he peeled a banana.

“Yeah! My favorite is Mozart.” Blake happily nodded offering a small piece of banana to his father knowing he still couldn't eat much after Harry had explained to him.

“Thank you, cupcake.” Louis smiled taking the banana.

“If you want...we could, but only if you want to, okay.” Blake looked away from Louis feeling his cheeks getting hotter, “We could listen to him sometime.” He finished feeling his father’s hand on his cheek.

“I would love to.” Louis gave him a reassuring smile, “Anything you want to do, okay?”

“Okay!” Blake sighed in relief taking a bite out of the banana, “I like Lindsey Stirling too. Uncle Liam showed me her music and I love it. I think I want to learn how to play violin one day. We can listen to her too.”

“We should tell papa, so he can sign you up for some classes if you want to.” Louis told him already excited at the idea loving how interested his son was in learning how to play an instrument.

“Papa told me you used to dance and that you were like an angel when doing so. He said you looked like one.” Blake said then giggled when Louis blushed.

“It was my favorite thing to do in the world.” Louis sighed, “That dance studio is where I met your papa.” He said letting Blake sit on his lap.

“I’m sure you did look like an angel, I know it.” Blake told him so sure of himself feeling his father’s arms around his waist and his cheek resting on his shoulder.

They ate it in silence until Harry’s phone went off disturbing the peaceful silence that had settled in in the room. Blake was quick to pick it up from where Harry had left it on top of the countertop by the stove feeling Louis’ eyes on him. He smiled as soon as he saw who was calling and without hesitation answered it having missed her.

“Grandma!” Blake nearly shouted never seeing Louis stiffening on his spot then trying to get to him, “I missed you and grandpa.”

He was still busy talking to her with his back to Louis never seeing him getting closer until he finally did and that’s when he turned around seeing him right behind him. He talked to her for a few more seconds before he was handing the phone to Louis when his father silently asked for it.

“ _And I’ll go see you one of these days, okay sweetheart._ ” Jay continued talking completely unaware of who she was talking to now.

“Why don’t you stop calling instead.” Louis spoke in the coldest tone making Blake take a step back away from him, “You’re not allowed to see _my_ son anymore and Harry agrees with me. Do let Mark know. Goodbye.” He hung up not letting Jay respond then looked at Blake who was looking at the floor and fiddling with his hands.

He reached for him just as Harley barked standing in front of the backdoor wanting to go outside feeling bad when Blake took off running with him outside leaving him alone. He sighed trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing feeling some sort of emotion after hearing his mother’s voice but one look at himself on the window’s reflection was enough to do so. He now hated the way he looked. Harry came back thirty minutes later to Louis sitting all alone in the middle of the kitchen and Blake still outside sitting on one of the porch chairs with Harley on his lap.

“What’s going on? Where’s Blake?” Harry asked seeing his phone still in Louis’ small hands as he put the bags of groceries on top of the kitchen island.

“I thought I told you Jay and Mark can’t see Blake anymore.” Louis said refusing to look up not wanting Harry to see him. See the teenager he had been back then while Harry had gotten older just like he had been supposed to do too.

“Louis we talked about this.” Harry groaned, “He’s allowed to see them as much as he wants to.”

“Jay had the nerve to call you and I told her to stop calling. I missed ten years so now she doesn’t get to see him. An eye for an eye.” Louis said as he turned the phone around in his hands seeing Harry crouching down in front of him.

“Do you even hear yourself?” He grabbed his chin with his thumb and pointer finger making him look at him, “Louis, this is not you. This is not who you are.”

“Then who am I?” Louis glared at him smacking his hand away, “You thought I was going to continue where I left off? Be the same fool I was years ago? They kept me from you so now I’m keeping my son away from them.”

“I never did and you know that, but before you think about yourself and all that anger just take a few minutes to think about Blake. Your first priority should be him and his well being, not yourself.” Harry said seeing the tears in Louis’ eyes no longer knowing if they were real or not, “That’s what every parent does.”

“Oh great! So now I’m a bad parent, why don’t you just go ahead and tell me once and for all I’m not his father anymore!” Louis went off shouting at him unaware of Blake hearing everything outside after he had left the sliding door a little open.

“I never said you were!” Harry shouted looking like a wild animal ready to attack startling Louis.

They both looked at the door when Blake ran in going straight for the stairs with Harley in his arms and seconds later his door slamming shut. Louis looked up at Louis with tears in his eyes seeing him leaning against the countertop then slowly make his way to put the groceries away. He did so in silence while Louis watched him until he started making mac and cheese for dinner instead of the pizza they were going to make. Louis felt guilty and slowly started trying to get out of there and go somewhere else, maybe make it to the front door and disappear forever.

“Dinner’s almost ready.” Harry spoke up when Louis was right by the door, “I’m gonna go get Blake.” He said heading for the stairs leaving Louis alone.

Louis didn’t say anything until he saw the saucepan Harry had left at the stove knowing it was going to burn if he didn’t move it soon. He slowly made his way there turning it off then reached for it but the angle was awkward and all he managed to do was burn himself with the side of it holding in a scream almost dropping it all over himself and the floor. He held it in and when he heard Harry’s and Blake’s voices he pulled away holding in the urge to cry at the pain on his hand. He figured he deserved it for being a shitty parent to Blake and just shitty in general.

“We can make the pizza tomorrow, okay?” Harry said just as they walked in seeing Louis near the stove.

“Okay.” Blake shrugged still a bit upset but smiled as soon as he saw Louis still there.

“Okay! Let's eat!” Harry said as he grabbed plates to serve the mac n cheese smiling when he saw Blake wheeling Louis to the table kissing his cheek after. Louis never smiled.

When they were done eating Blake went up to his bedroom to take a shower while Harry cleaned the kitchen feeling how tense the room was until he turned around and saw Louis cradling his hand.

“Lou?” He said getting Louis’ attention who let go of his hand.

“I’m sorry.” Louis whimpered not being able to handle the pain anymore.

“What happened? Let me see.” Harry dropped the towel he was holding in the sink then rushed to Louis gently grabbing his hand seeing the skin looking a bit red.

“I just wanted to help, you left the saucepan on top of the burner and it was still on.” Louis explained letting Harry take care of it sighing in relief when he poured cool water over it. He let him wash it with soap and water then cover it was a sterilized gauze feeling better after it was cleaned up.

I’m sorry for yelling.” Louis apologized feeling his cheeks heating up.

“I’m sorry too.” Harry apologized, “But you have to understand that Blake loves them and he wants to see them.”

“But they-” Louis started getting interrupted by Harry.

“You’re doing to him exactly what they did to you. It’s not the same situation but you’re keeping him from people he loves and likes to spend time with. Just think about it, okay.” Harry wrapped his arms around him kissing the side of his head rubbing his back making Louis feel warm and loved.

“I still don’t want to see them. I don’t think I ever will.” Louis sighed.

“And I understand it.” Harry pulled back placing his hands on Louis’ cheeks, “Do you want to take a shower before we go to bed?” He asked taking Louis upstairs when he nodded.

Once they were in the room he helped Louis try and walk there smiling when he saw he had regained a bit of mobility now that the cryoprotectants he had been filled with long ago had been wearing off. He helped him shower deciding to go ahead and take one too stripping all the way down to his boxers somehow not feeling comfortable with his body. He relaxed when Louis didn’t say anything when there was nothing sexual about it and instead tried to hurry up wanting to go to bed.

When they were done showering they changed into their pajamas and Harry felt bad when he realized he was yet to take Louis shopping for new clothes. He figured he could take him later when Louis was able to walk while he put Louis on the bed seeing Blake walking in with Harley and a teddy bear in his hand. Louis’ teddy bear that Harry had given him their first christmas together.

“That’s my teddy bear.” He said without thinking seeing Blake looking at im with wide eyes hiding it behind his back. He loved it since he had had it ever since he was a baby.

“No, it’s mine. Papa gave it to me.” Blake said looking at Harry with a nervous expression.

“I know! It's okay cupcake, I’m not gonna take it away.” Louis opened his arms sighing in relief when Blake ran into them, “Do you want to sleep here again?” He asked and before Harry could stop him, Blake had already said yes.

They went to bed earlier than usual but already exhausted waking up late the next day which was a sunday. The weekend pass by quickly then so did a whole week where Louis was still refusing to talk to his parents much less see Blake see them. He would let him talk on the phone with them swallowing his anger every time he would hear him laughing then refuse to let him see them whenever Blake asked.

Harry had started taking Louis to physical therapy and by the end of the week Louis was already walking with the help of a walker making him feel awkward. He thought everything was going great with them when he and Harry hadn’t gotten into another fight like the one on saturday and had gotten closer. That’s what he thought never noticing Blake slowly missing his grandparents more and more until the day Harry couldn’t find him anywhere.

Louis had felt like dying again when they had called everybody and nobody knew where he was, even more when Harry had called the police to report their son missing. The only thing they knew was that he had taken his golden retriever with him and his school bag, Louis had cried for two hours straight in Zayn’s arms wanting to go out and look for him. At least do something when Blake had been gone for almost a day.

The clock ticking was driving him crazy the longer he had to stay in that damn wheelchair not knowing where his baby could be. He could walk, slowly, but he could walk and Harry not letting him go out to look for their son angered him. He was holding onto Zayn’s hand who was sitting on the couch next to him trying to stay calm even after he hadn’t seen his son for over six hours. He didn’t know how much longer he could take.

He was already so desperate and his eyes filled with tears for being so stupid enough to make his son pick between his grandparents and him. If he had just let him see them then Blake would still be there in his arms and not somewhere in the streets of London probably scared, hungry and cold. He sat up straight with the intention of asking Harry to go out and look for him when he saw the black SUV slowly parking in front of his house wondering who it could be.

Jay got out first from the passenger's side followed by who Louis assumed was Mark and finally his son, his child getting out of the backseat holding onto Harley and the backpack he had taken with him. He got up not caring when he stumbled a few times ignoring Zayn who was telling him to sit down, and ignored Harry as soon as the father of his child begged him to stop and calm down.

He opened the front door letting it slam against the wall seeing his parents walking next to Blake who was looking down at the ground. He stared at Mark then at Jay seeing her eyes filling with tears as soon as her gaze settled in on him making him want to hug her but his anger towards her was stronger. They stared at each other not knowing what to do until somebody cleared their throat and Louis saw Harry running past him to get to Blake.

“Where were you!? I was worried sick.” Harry hugged him then kissed the top of his head and that’s when Louis made his way to them hugging him as soon as he had the chance.

He hugged him tight until he pulled back feeling his eyes stinging with tears, “Don’t you _ever_ do that to me again. Do you understand?” He started crying making Blake cry, both of them hugging the other.

“He showed up at our house about three hours ago.” Mark informed them seeing Harry nodding.

“And you didn’t think about calling?” Louis glared at them, “I thought something bad had happened to him and turns out he was with you all this time.”

“It completely slipped our minds...I’m sorry.” Jay apologized trying not to cry at how cold her son was now instead of the sweet boy he had been ten years ago.

“You can leave now.” Louis let go of Blake to grab his hand and pull him inside.

“No. Dad, I want them to stay. Please.” Blake begged pulling his hand out of Louis’ hold then went to stand in between his grandparents wrapping an arm around his grandmother.

“Blake.” Louis said in a warning tone, “Please go inside while I talk to them.”

“Bu-” Blake started.

“Blake, just go inside please.” Louis gave him a tired look that had Blake sighing in defeat before he went inside after hugging both Mark and Jay. Louis could only watch the way they held onto him and kissed his forehead before they had to absolutely let go.

Louis waited until he was inside when he turned to look at his parents giving them the most venomous look feeling Harry wrapping his arm around his waist. His mother looked down at the ground while Mark never faltered angering Louis more than he already was.

“I hope you really enjoyed your time with him because I haven’t changed my mind. I bet you were the ones that brainwashed him into running away.” Louis looked them up and down in disgust taking a step back as soon as his mother reached for him.

“Don’t you dare touch me.” Louis snarled pushing the guilt away when Jay started crying and Mark wrapped his arms around her.

“Please...at least let me hug you, just once.” Jay begged him wanting to get closer but Mark held her in place.

“No, now leave.” Louis said before he pulled away from Harry and walked back inside the house never seeing Jay going after him until he was in the living room having passed by the kitchen where the rest were with Blake.

“Sweetheart…” Jay called after him already in tears making Louis freeze on his spot.

She felt so small and her chest ached when he turned around giving her the most hateful look wishing she could go back in time and let him be free. Let him be happy.

“Don’t call me that! Don’t call me anything! You think that after what you did to me we would go back to how things used to be, go back to that time where I used to look up to you. You ruined my life, Jay. And you ruined Harry’s and Blake’s.” Louis wiped his tears away.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Jay sobbed taking a step closer feeling her chest aching at seeing him so upset.

“Jay, let's go.” Mark spoke up from the door where he was standing with Harry, the rest standing behind them including a frightened Blake.

“No, I need to apologize. He needs to listen to what I have to say.” Jay looked at him then back at Louis taking a step closer, “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry sorry sorry, that’s all you can say. Sorry is not going to give me back all those years I missed, sorry is not going give me back the chance of watching my son grow up. I missed everything and you and that man are the only ones to blame.” Louis started crying pushing his mother away when she tried to hug him.

She stumbled a few steps back trying not to sob out loud aware of their audience and all she could do was watch her son glare at her refusing to call her mum. She lifted up her arm with the intention of reaching for him but quickly put it back down not wanting to upset him any further and damage his heart again. Hers was already breaking into many tiny pieces but she was the only one to blame.

“I- I was wrong and blinded, I only wanted the best for you and Blake. I’m so so sorry.” She sobbed wrapping her arms around herself shivering even though she was sweating, “I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“You only wanted the best for us?” Louis laughed making her flinch but ignored it, “You killed me, it’s your fault Blake had to grow up without me.”

“And I’ve lived all this time regretting it! It hurt to see you like that every time I got to see you, it hurt to know you ended up in there because of me.” Jay took another step closer not caring when Louis put his hands in front of him to keep her away.

“You brought it on yourself.” Louis sighed tired of everything, “Please leave, just leave me alone. I don’t want to see you ever again.” He said before he took a seat on the couch trying to ignore his mother’s cries.

“Louis…” Jay continued crying until she stopped and put a hand over her chest trying to catch her breath having to hold on to the edge of the couch when she started feeling lightheaded.

“Jay?” Harry took a step closer recognizing the signs right away, “Mark, call an ambulance!” He shouted as he rushed to her just as she collapsed barely giving him enough time to catch her.

“Grandma!” Blake shouted completely terrified while all Louis could do was watch with wide eyes.

Watch the way she collapsed in Harry’s arms then Anne and Zayn pulling a hysterical Blake away from there before Liam and Niall blocked his view. It all became a blur to him seeing Mark talking on the phone yet he couldn’t hear what he was saying as he pulled on his hair. He looked at Harry who was kneeling next to Jay already doing chest compressions then mouth to mouth trying to save her life.

“Mum…” Louis mumbled unable to take his eyes off of her until Mark blocked his view, that’s when he got up as fast as he could kneeling next to her hating the way Mark was quick to pull him back.

“Come on, Jay.” Harry said checking her pulse before doing mouth to mouth again then chest compressions starting to get desperate until dread and sorrow filled his beating heart. Hers no longer doing so.

“Harry?” Mark questioned him still holding onto Louis knowing that was it yet still held onto the last bit of hope he had.

“Mum?” Louis whispered seeing Harry looking at Mark as his adam’s apple bobbed up and down before he looked down and gently lay Jay’s hands one on top of the other on top of her stomach.

“No...” Mark let go of Louis crawling around him to get to her where he watched her for a few seconds before speaking up again, “Jay? Love, wake up. Please, don’t leave me...please.”

He bit on his bottom lip holding it all until he hid his face on her stomach fisting the fabric of her sweater letting out the loudest sob even though it sounded muffled when he finally broke down. He set Louis off when he continued crying sitting up to pull her close to him and away from Louis where he held her close, her back against his chest and her face on the crook of his neck as he cried not caring how loud he was being.

“Mum!” Louis broke down crying trying to get to her but Harry held him back making him thrash in his hold.

“Let him mourn her.” Harry whispered in his ear making Louis cry harder.

“No!” He finally set himself free crawling towards them where he grabbed her hands, “Mum, mummy. Wake up, please wake up!” He sobbed pushing Harry away who was crying as well.

He tried to hold her and beg her to forgive him but couldn't when Mark had a tight grip on her refusing to let go. He settled with laying down next to her wrapping an arm around her stomach still begging her to wake up until he saw the paramedics coming in to take her away. If they had given him another chance then why not give it to her too, Louis needed her to know how sorry he was and that he hadn’t mean what he said.

“Y- You have to freeze her.” Louis sat up catching his father’s attention whose face was red and wet with tears, “We can’t let her go, please.” He begged starting to get desperate when Mark didn’t say a thing until he did.

“I- I can’t.” He finally said making Louis cry.

“Please!”

“I promised her I wouldn’t, I- I pro- promised her.” Mark started crying again unable to look at his son.

“Please! Dad...I don’t- I don’t want to lose her, please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Louis begged trying to grab his father’s hand.

“I’m sorry.” Mark mumbled not expecting Louis to completely lose it.

He felt every punch against his side and back but the pain couldn’t compare to the one in his heart letting him go off before Harry pulled him away. He watched Harry holding Louis down getting worried when too much stress wasn’t good for him just like it hadn’t been good for his wife.

He caressed her almost cold cheek with his thumb wondering how was he going to live without her, how was he going to move on finally understanding Harry’s pain. His son’s cries only got louder getting mingled with Blake’s breaking his heart all over again when his grandson didn’t deserve what was happening. He didn’t want him to suffer, he didn’t want his own child to suffer and he had already done enough.

“Harry, call the institute.” Mark spoke up catching their attention, “Tell them to get the capsule ready, we don’t have much time left.” He got up picking Jay up into his arms.

“Which one?” Harry asked letting go of a now calm Louis to grab his phone.

“Same one Louis was in.” Mark answered before he left.

Louis tried to follow but was stopped by Harry and instead stayed listening to Harry talking to someone on the phone. When he hung up he got up without acknowledging Louis as he headed straight to the front door until Louis stopped him by shouting his name.

“I have to go now, we’re wasting time.” Harry told him trying to get Louis to let go of his arm.

“I want to go with you, please.” Louis begged getting ready to beg but didn’t have to when Harry nodded and helped him to the car.

He had to hold on to the door and the side of the seat when Harry was driving faster than usual and when they got to the institute he promised himself to never go back to, he saw the paramedics taking Jay out of the ambulance rushing her inside followed by Mark. As soon as Harry parked his car he got out then wrapped an arm around Louis’ waist barely letting him take a few steps as they rushed inside. He was left alone in a private room while they did god knows what while Louis couldn’t stop crying as he waited.

He would never forgive himself if she didn’t make it.

It was hours later when Harry finally walked in looking exhausted taking a seat next to Louis when Louis didn’t move at all. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders letting him rest against his chest hearing him crying again wanting to call his mum and ask for Blake, he needed to make sure his child was okay.

“I want to see her, please.” Louis sat up letting out a shaky breath when Harry nodded.

Soon he was standing in front of the cold metal door blinking at it when he had no idea when he had gotten there unable to stop thinking about her. When Harry opened it he shivered but walked forward until he was standing in front of the locked capsule waiting for Harry to open it. What he saw when he finally opened it frightened him and broke his heart wishing he could go back in time. Oh how the tables had turned.

“Mum…” Louis started crying when he saw her almost white skin, wondering if he had looked as pale as her, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t say anything else and instead watched her thinking that if she never forgave him then he deserved it, there was so much to be forgiven between the two. He doesn’t know how long he stayed there watching her and feeling the room get colder and colder as the minutes passed by. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to leave her behind when the time for him to go arrived. It was probably how she had felt every time for almost ten years when to him it had only been minutes since he had gotten there, he couldn’t imagine how she had been able to do it for so long until it hit him.

_Love_


	13. We're coming apart, but we hold it together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all over the place, short and unedited. I apologize for that. Please don't forget to comment. Enjoy! :)

An hour into being there he couldn't stop shivering as his body tried to warm itself up but he couldn't leave, he wouldn't leave and didn't want to leave her alone. He was sitting on a wooden chair right in front of his mother's capsule never taking his eyes off of her until the glass started frosting up making him worry. He couldn't stop looking at her white skin, her eyelashes looking their darkest against the pale skin and her hair pulled back into a low ponytail. He would never forgive himself.

"I think it's time to go, Louis." Harry placed his hand on his left shoulder never getting a reaction from him, "Louis."

"I don't want to go, I don't want to leave her all alone here. What if something happens to her." Louis started trembling then sighed when Harry placed his jacket over his shoulders.

"Nothing bad will happen, she's well taken care of." Harry tried to explain but Louis refused to move.

"I'm scared of leaving her alone." Louis rested his cheek on top of Harry's hand, "I feel like it's going to scare her being here all alone. Do you think that's how she felt every time she came to see me?" He asked desperately wanting to know the answer but was terrified at the same time.

"Mark always had trouble getting her to leave." Harry looked around the room finding it the same as it had always been, "She would come here every day and sit on this same chair and talk to you. She would tell you about Blake and then about her day. Some days she felt it would be best to just let you rest in peace, she was afraid we were being cruel by keeping you like that. That's why she made Mark promise her he would never freeze her, because she believed you were hurting."

"I never felt a thing." Louis started crying again getting up to go to her touching the glass, "I didn't but I feel she does and I can't live with that. I broke her heart, Harry."

"I promise you I won't give up and will do everything I can to bring her back. I won't stop until she's back with you and Blake." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist.

"Okay..." Louis finally nodded when Harry mentioned their son, "Have you called Anne? How's Blake?" He asked worried out of his mind about his child, more when Harry sighed.

"Mum says he's inconsolable and they couldn't calm him down. I just called her again and she said Niall managed to get him to take a nap, he's taking it with him." Harry explained seeing more tears falling down Louis' cheeks.

"He hates me, I just know it. I took away his grandmother." Louis sniffled letting Harry take him out of the room freezing when he saw Mark sitting outside on the floor leaning against the wall.

He was looking down at his hands where he had a small picture and when Louis got a good look, he felt worse seeing how heartbroken his father was. Mark put the picture back in his wallet as soon as he saw them then got up making his way to them. He avoided looking at Louis who was holding onto Harry as if his life depended on it.

"Dr. Schooley told me you started the process." Mark said putting his wallet in his back pocket then leaned against the wall rubbing his hands on his face..

"I did, now we have to wait and see. There were still enough healthy stem cells available before the heart completely died but the chances of her coming back are great." Harry explained hugging Louis tighter when he heard his sniffles.

"Mar- dad...I'm so sorry." Louis cried getting louder when Mark started crying again.

Harry felt like crying when Mark pulled Louis into a hug and Louis finally let him hearing what Mark was saying to him. Hearing him explain how Jay already had heart problems and what had happened was inevitable when she had been neglecting herself. It only worked to make Louis cry harder knowing she hadn't been taking care of herself because of him.

"Go home to Blake, okay." Mark pulled back wiping away Louis' tears with the pad of his thumbs, "She's safe here and later today I'll go see you but only if you want me there."

"Okay." Louis said in a small voice then let Harry guide him to the parking lot.

The drive back home was long and when they got there Louis saw his friends cars still parked outside including Anne's. He was afraid of going inside but let Harry take him in anyway feeling the tense atmosphere as soon as they walked in. He felt more tears coming out when he saw Blake standing at the top of the stairs staring at him with tears in his eyes.

Blake ran downstairs and straight into Harry's arms letting out loud sobs against his father's chest. Louis wanted to comfort him placing a hand on his shoulder feeling his heart breaking when Blake shook it off crying louder. He tried again crying when Blake looked at him with nothing but hate in his eyes before he hid his face on the fabric of Harry's shirt. Now Louis knew how his mother had felt all that time always facing rejection from her only son.

"Blake, it's not his fault." Harry said watching Louis frozen on his spot staring at their son.

"I saw him, papa! It's his fault." Blake cried louder and that was it for Louis.

He took a step back before he tried to run upstairs and into his and Harry's bedroom getting under the covers. He cried and cried trying to stay quiet until a hand uncovered him then felt a body lying down next to him. He knew it was Harry as soon as he smelt his cologne turning around to hide his face against his chest feeling the fabric was already wet with Blake's tears.

"Do you still think it was a good idea to bring me back?" Louis asked, "All I've done is hurt Blake, hurt my mother."

"He's just confused, Lou. He doesn't understand what's going on...Mark is with him trying to explain what happened." Harry kissed the top of Louis' head hugging him tighter when Louis started crying again. They lost track of time wondering how long they had been there when they heard a knock on the door then it opened revealing Mark after Harry had told him to come in.

"How is he doing?" Louis asked quickly getting up almost tripping if it hadn't been for his father steadying him again.

"I managed to calm him down, he's with Anne now. I asked him if he wanted to see you and he said yes." Mark told him getting a nod and a thank you from Louis before he walked out of the bedroom.

"We need to hurry up." Mark told Harry as soon as Louis was out of earshot, "I can't stand seeing my grandson like that."

"We just have to wait, Mark. This process takes time." Harry sighed.

Louis slowly made his way into Blake's bedroom seeing him laying on his bed with Anne who was murmuring words he couldn't hear stopping as soon as she saw him. She kissed his sweaty forehead then Louis' also giving him a hug before she left leaving them alone. Louis slowly made his way to his son taking a seat next to him on the bed then without saying anything started running his fingers through his curls.

"Is grandma like you were before papa brought you back?" Blake asked finally looking up at Louis with tear filled eyes.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Louis whimpered crying when Blake sat up and wrapped his arms around his neck, "I'm sorry, please forgive me."

"I already did, daddy." Blake kissed the side of his neck pulling back to look at him, "But only if you let grandma Jay be your mum again, I know she loves you lots. Please." Blake begged.

"Anything you want, cupcake. Anything, my sweet boy." Louis hugged him trying to get him to sit on his lap but his son was too big already. It broke his heart yet made him happy.

"She's coming back, right?" Blake asked easily climbing on his father's lap with his legs dangling off the side, "I miss her already and I miss her hugs and kisses...and all the food she cooks."

That seemed to make something snap inside Louis who started silently crying again remembering when he was little and she would give him the best hugs and kisses. When they would bake together then later cook dinner together, he had learned to cook the best meals and bake the best cookies and cakes from her. It had all been thanks to her and he had paid her back in the worst way possible.

She had been the one to comfort him whenever he would fall down and scrape his knees, had been there backing him up when he had taken an interest in dancing. She had gone against Mark's wishes of him becoming a doctor like him to carry on his research and take over his clinic. She had done many things for him except when it came to Harry but at the moment he no longer cared about that, not when his mother was dead and frozen in the very same capsule he had been in.

"When she gets back I promise you I'm going to let her be my mum then we're going to bake a lot of cookies and cakes together, the three of us." Louis said gently placing a kiss on the top of his son's head, "I'm going to ask her to forgive me for being so mean to her."

"She'll forgive you because she loves you a lot and she's your mum. She says you'll always be her baby." Blake pulled back frowning when he saw the tears rolling down his father's cheeks quickly wiping them away.

"And she'll always be my mum." Louis told him bringing him forward again never wanting to separate himself from his baby, "And do you know you'll always be my baby too?" He smiled rubbing his small back feeling him nodding before he answered.

"Yes, and you'll always be my daddy." Blake told him hugging him tighter.

Louis smiled hugging him tighter staying there for who knows how long until Harry walked in telling them dinner was ready. Both Louis and Blake held hands all the way downstairs and when they walked in into the dining room they were surprised to see everybody there. Everybody including Gemma who started crying as soon as she saw Louis before running to him to give him a hug. Louis was quick to hug back before he pulled back to get a good look at her knowing the pictures hadn't done her any justice, she was more gorgeous than ever.

"I..." She tried to speak but instead burst out crying again holding him so tight in her arms afraid of him leaving them again.

"I'm not going anywhere." Louis told her trying to stop crying.

"I'm so sorry about Jay." Gemma whispered against his ear receiving a nod feeling Louis hugging her tighter as she rubbed his back, "Let me look at you! Gorgeous as always." She pulled back making Louis chuckle before they hugged again. They stayed like that until she pulled back and motioned for someone to walk forward and that's when Louis saw a man and the two most adorable kids ever.

"Lou, this is my husband Michael and our kids David and Michelle. Kids, this is uncle Louis, he's Blake's dad." Gemma smiled at them then at her husband, "This is Louis."

"Nice to meet you, Louis" Michael shook his hand giving him a warm smile.

"Nice to meet you too." Louis smiled then looked at Gemma's children bending down to be at eye level with them, "And it's so nice to meet you both. Blake's told me a lot about you." Louis said watching their expressions go from wary to happy.

"You're like princess Elsa! So pretty too." Michelle exclaimed reaching out to run her fingers through Louis' hair then turn her head to look at Blake, "You're right, he's so pretty." She said making Blake blush.

"Hi." David waved at him staying next to his mother when Michelle had no sense of what personal space was.

"Hi!" Louis gave him a warm smile then looked around the room unable to stop feeling guilty and sad when the only person missing was his mother.

He felt a hand wrapping around his left side and he slowly leaned against Harry resting his head on his shoulder. He looked at his father who was sitting all by himself until Blake walked up to him and sat down next to him. His father was quick to smile at his son and wrap an arm around his shoulders as they talked about something Louis couldn't hear. He made conversation with Gemma before everybody else joined in having decided to eat until later when Louis finally made eye contact with his father.

"I'm gonna go talk to Mark, I think it's time." Louis told Harry.

"Okay." Harry smiled at him then let him go after kissing his forehead.

Louis shyly made his way to them getting more nervous as soon as Mark looked at him, "Cupcake, I have to talk to grandpa. Could you please go with papa while I do so?" Louis asked his son smiling when Blake nodded then got up making his way to Harry.

"Is there something wrong?" Mark asked as soon as Louis motioned for him to follow him.

They walked downstairs to the game room then took a seat on the couch next to each other leaving a few inches of space between them. Louis fiddled with his hands not knowing where to start, how to start mending their relationship when it was already so broken. He just didn't know what to say but in the end said what came to mind first.

"I'm sorry." Louis finally spoke up still looking down at his hands hearing Mark letting out a loud sigh.

"It wasn't your fault, Jay already had heart problems and failed to take care of herself." Mark explained making sure to keep looking at his son when he finally looked at him.

"Don't try to excuse me when you know it's my fault, if I hadn't yelled at her the way I did...if I had just accepted her apology and move on to start a new life then she would still be here." Louis said tired of crying when he started doing so, "She wouldn't be trapped in that capsule. I made her so upset and now it's probably too late for me to mend my relationship with her. I...I was so wrong, blinded with rage that I didn't realize you and Harry gave me another chance."

"We gave you that chance but it's still my fault you missed almost ten years of everything. I hurt you and I hurt Harry and Blake. Now I know he loves you, he spent all this time studying to become who he is now then trying to find a way to bring you back. He never lost hope until a few days before we brought you back but thankfully he found a way before letting you rest for good." Mark said making Louis look at him with furrowed brows.

"What do you mean? With Harry and me resting for good?" Louis asked taking Mark by surprise.

"I...I think that's something you should talk to Harry about, he's the only one who can answer that." Mark said then sighed in relief when Louis nodded.

"Maybe...maybe we could start over. I haven't forgive you yet and I know you haven't either but I want to leave all bad things behind and focus on a future and I can't do that if you and mum aren't in it." Louis said feeling bad when he saw the tears rolling down his father's cheeks, "Dad..."

"I'm so so sorry, Louis. I was so wrong and stupid, I did so many bad things to you and hurt you in the worst possible ways. I'm so sorry." Mark finally got to apologize knowing his son might never forgive him but it was something he had and wanted to do, "I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought that was best for you and Blake."

"I thought it was best to not let Blake see you ever again and I was wrong, we were both wrong but it happened, it is done and there's nothing we can do but to keep moving forward. I just want to get my life together and start living again, living it to the fullest and I can't do that anymore if I'm going to be holding pointless grudges. Please, I just want to move on." Louis placed his hand on top of his dad's letting him hold it as soon as Mark did so.

"Anything you want. I just want my son back." Mark said seeing Louis nodding.

They went back upstairs a few minutes later to find them waiting for them and as soon as they sat down, they started eating dinner making conversation here and there. Liam, Zayn and Niall ended up leaving later that night after giving them hugs then it was Anne, Gemma and her family's turn leaving the family of three alone. Louis let Blake take a shower then tucked him in kissing his forehead and petting Harley before he left.

Once he was in the bedroom he now considered his he took a seat at the foot of the bed thinking about what Mark had told him, about Harry losing hope and letting him go. He was upset but could perfectly understand Harry, even more when he had told him he should have let him go. He was still deep in thought when Harry walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist and Louis couldn't help but stare feeling a heat pulling around his lower belly.

"You okay, Lou" Harry asked snapping him out of his trance.

"Y- Yeah." Louis blushed a deep red, "I- I'm gonna go shower, I'll be right back." Louis stuttered before getting up and rushing to the bathroom.

He shut the door then leaned against it taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down when it wasn't the right time to start feeling that way about Harry. There was time for everything and what he needed to focus on was Blake and his mother yet couldn't help but wonder if Harry still wanted him like that. He chewed on his bottom lip wondering if Harry had been with anybody else during those ten years he had been gone. He slid down until he was sitting on the floor against the door telling himself that if he had, he wouldn't blame him at all. Ten years was too long.

Louis took a deep breath before he got up and finally got in the shower taking his time and by the time he was done he was glad he kept his pajamas and boxers in the bathroom. He quickly changed then brushed his teeth before going back to the bedroom where Harry was already in bed reading a book that looked boring to Louis. He was too focused on it that it gave him the chance to really look at him now. He had gotten older but to Louis he was his Harry and nothing would ever change that, he still loved him even if they almost never said it like they used to.

"We should go to bed." Harry spoke up startling Louis who had been too focused on him to realize Harry had been watching him too.

"Yeah..." Louis whispered slowly making his way to the bed and once he was on his spot, he turned around to face Harry wanting to tell him what his father had told him not knowing how to until he just blurted it out. "Dad told me you wanted to let me rest for good." He said watching the way Harry's eyes widened in horror.

"I...I'm so sorry, I thought it was for the best." Harry hurried up to explain himself not wanting to upset Louis and definitely not expecting what happened next.

"It's understandable, ten years is a long time." Louis grabbed Harry's bigger hand in his, "I am upset but it doesn't matter, I did tell you you should have let me go."

"I was in a bad place, Lou. Blake started getting more and more upset as time passed by and every time I tried to find a cure I would always fail. I didn't know what else to do! I- I worried about you not taking the news well and ending up with long term complications. I didn't want to bring you back just to have you suffer." Harry said getting more upset the more he talked until Louis shushed him making him lay down next to him before resting his head on his chest.

"I understand and I'm here now all thanks to you and dad. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." He reassured Harry hearing him letting out a sigh of relief before he felt his fingers running through his still wet hair.

"I don't want to lose you again." Harry whispered breaking Louis' heart when his voice cracked at the same time he felt his arms around him holding him tight.

"I promise you're never going to lose me again, I'll always be here. I promise you that." Louis pressed a kiss to Harry's bare chest meaning every single word.

Harry fully believed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	14. Don't give me up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small chapter! I'm trying to start updating all my fics again. Not edited, enjoy! :)

When Louis woke up that chilly morning, he was not surprised when Blake was plastered to his side, his face buried on his chest making him wonder how was he still breathing. He watched Harry sleep as he wrapped his arm around Blake’s waist, then brought his hand to his hair where he started running his fingers through it. He furrowed his brow when he found a knot, then as careful as he could, he got rid of it quickly massaging his scalp when his son flinched. He looked at the clock seeing it was already nine in the morning then at Harry’s nightstand when something vibrated, making him furrow his brows the more it did.

“Harry...I think someone’s calling you.” Louis reached to poke Harry’s chest, seeing how fast he woke up and moved to answer it.

“‘Ello” Harry answered still trying to open his eyes, “I’ll be right there...Hannah, tell Mark I’ll be there on time. They still have to unfreeze him. Mark didn’t tell me they were going to finally d- oh it was decided earlier today. Just give me enough time to get ready. Bye.”

“What is it?” Louis asked from the bed, still running his fingers through his son’s hair.

“A couple decided to unfreeze their son this morning, I have to go to the institution.” Harry explained as he made his way to the closet then came back with a change of clothes, “Are you okay with staying here on your own with Blake or do you want me to call my mum?”

“I’m okay, don’t bother your mum.” Louis said watching Harry rushing to the bathroom leaving the door open.

Louis decided to stay in bed with Blake then watched Harry get dressed until he got a kiss on the lips, watching him kissing their son on the forehead before he finally left. He fell asleep again wondering who were they going to unfreeze, his thoughts going to that ten year old boy named Jacob making his chest tighten. He just hoped he made it and for him to be okay after it, knowing it was going to be hard for him. Five years was a long time.

The clock struck eleven am when he finally decided to get up getting worried when Blake kept sleeping like the dead, not even moving when Louis did. Louis brushed his teeth then went to the bathroom, washing his hands after before going downstairs to the kitchen. He stopped by the stove thinking of what to make finally deciding on pancakes, then made his way to the pantry seeing Harley slowly walking down the stairs.

“Hi boy!” Louis bent down to pet him,smiling when the puppy licked his hand, then watched him walk to his empty bowl of food.

Louis was quick to pour some in it then refill the other one with water placing it right next to the other, patting Harley’s head before he walked to the sink to wash his hands. He started making them, surprising himself when he still knew how to make them, just like his mother had taught him. By the time he was putting the last one at the very top of the stack he had on a plate, Blake walked in still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes looking as cute as ever.

“Where’s papa?” Blake asked making his way to the table and taking a seat on his usual spot.

“He had to go to work but he’ll be back. Do you want to eat now?” Louis asked him, putting three pancakes on a plate then put them in front of his son when he nodded, “Did you wash your hands?” He asked just when he was about to grab one with his bare hands.

“Yes, when I went to the bathroom. I really had to pee, and I peed a lot.” Blake told him giving him all the details making Louis laugh.

“At least you didn’t pee the bed.” Louis chuckled, making Blake wrinkle his nose.

“I’m too old to pee the bed, dad.” Blake giggled as he poured syrup all over his pancakes.

“That’s enough syrup, love.” Louis gently told him, furrowing his brow when Blake kept pouring more and more. “Blake, that’s enough.” He said, finally taking the bottle away.

“But I like them with a lot of syrup, and papa never lets me have a lot.” Blake pouted, “But he’s not here and that means I can have a lot.”

“He’s not home right now, but I am and when I say that’s enough it means that’s enough and you should stop.” Louis told him.

He made eye contact with Blake and soon wanted to look away when Blake kept staring at him as if he was crazy, but he stayed put until his soon looked away. Louis served himself three pancakes then started eating them, smiling when his son told him how good they were. That’s what Louis had always wanted to do. He wanted to make breakfast for him and Harry, he wanted to make lunch for Blake and write him little notes telling him to have a wonderful day and that he loved him. He hoped to start doing that very soon, but for now he was happy with the fact that he had cooked his very first breakfast to his son.

When they were done eating, they cleaned up together then moved upstairs to tidy up a little. When it was time for Louis to change out of his pajamas, he frowned as he stood in the closet, not knowing what to wear when he only had sweatpants, shirts and hoodies. He was tired of wearing that, he wanted to wear jeans and actual shoes he liked instead of the ones Harry had chosen for him.

“Dad!” Blake yelled from the bedroom, “Can we go walk around the neighborhood?” He asked as his voice got closer until he was standing by the door.

“Did you ask papa?” Louis looked at him as he grabbed a pair of black sweatpants.

“He won’t answer his phone.” Blake sighed, already begging his father with his eyes.

“We can go but just for a little bit, it’s freezing outside.” Louis decided, thinking it wasn’t big deal if they did.

“Yay! I’m gonna put my jacket on.” Blake happily told him before leaving to get his jacket.

Louis quickly changed into sweatpants, a long sleeved shirt and finally a hoodie and one of Harry’s thickest jackets. He looked at himself in the mirror, noticing how tiny he looked wearing the jacket then smiled. He grabbed the house keys hanging by the garage door before grabbing Harley’s leash and walking out with Blake next to him. His son had bundled Harley up as well and soon they were walking, being careful not to go too far away from their home. They were silent until Blake started asking question after question, some making Louis blush.

“How did you find out I was in your tummy?” Blake asked, “I know how I got in there.” He giggled when Louis blushed a deep red.

“Well...I kept getting sick until your uncle Zayn took me to the doctor because there’s no way I would have gone by myself.” Louis said, “Then they told me I was going to have a baby and I cried.”

“Why did you cry? Did you not want to have me in your tummy?” Blake stopped and moved to stand in front of Louis.

“I cried because I was so happy, and I already wanted to have you in my arms.” Louis explained, smiling when Blake started smiling too.

“That’s what uncle Zayn and papa told me.” Blake started walking again, “Are you going to have more babies?” He asked, making Louis stop in his tracks.

He stared up ahead, wondering if Harry and him were ever going to have another baby when Harry barely kissed him. He didn’t know how that was going to work out if Harry didn’t touch him anymore that way, only hugs and cuddles. Louis finally looked at his son who had a hopeful look on his face, but looks could be deceiving.

“Would you want that?” He asked, “I won’t if you don’t want me to, it could be just papa, you and me.” He said, not wanting to upset his child.

“Do you want to?” Blake answered with another question, and that was something Louis had been dreading.

“I do, but I’m not sure about papa.” He finally answered.

“He promised me a baby sibling on my ninth birthday, and he never breaks his promises.” Blake shrugged.

“Maybe in a few years, love. I want us to be just us three for now.” Louis wrapped his arm around his son.

“Okay!” Blake smiled.

They continued walking until they made it back on their street, that’s when Louis noticed the black SUV following close behind. He grabbed Blake’s hand and sped walked to their home, seeing the car pulling up into the driveway then the garage door opening. He realized it was Harry when he parked inside the garage then got out of the car, making his way towards them.

“Where were you?” He asked, “I got home around twenty minutes ago and you were gone, not even a call or at least a note to let me know you were going out.”

“We went for a walk.” Blake told him, picking Harley up to put him inside his jacket to warm him up, “And I did call you but you never answered, so dad said it was okay.”

“And that’s fine, but please do leave at least a note.” Harry looked at Louis then his son.

“Sorry, it slipped my mind.” Louis apologized, somehow feeling irritated when Harry was treating him like a child.

“Let’s go back inside.” Harry sighed, rubbing at his temples.

Blake was quick to run downstairs to his game room while Louis went upstairs, Harry following him as soon as he had made sure all doors were locked. As soon as Louis was in the room, he started taking his coats off, only leaving the long sleeved shirt behind. He watched Harry as he changed into gray sweatpants and a white t shirt, his biceps looking bigger than they had looked that morning. Louis licked his lips.

“I need new clothes.” He finally spoke up, taking Harry by surprise.

“Oh! Yeah, of course! We can go shopping...now if you want to.” Harry quickly said.

Louis was about to nod when he remembered the most important thing when it came to shopping, “I- I don’t have any money.” He blushed, lowering his gaze.

“Love, don’t worry about that. Just focus on getting what you want.” Harry moved to wrap his arms around Louis, relaxing when Louis wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head against his chest, “Let’s get ready so we can go shopping.” He kissed Louis’ head.

Thirty minutes later they were out of the house and on their way to the shopping centre. When they got there, Louis clung to Louis when everything was so new and strange to him. He would look at the many people walking around him and couldn’t help but compare everything to what used to be before he had died. Back then most of the people used to have conversations with each other, now all of them were busy on their phones. He didn’t understand how they could be on their phone all day long without getting bored.

Louis let Harry guide him through the crowd, always making sure their son was next to him. The first store Harry took him to was the Apple store, making Louis’ eyes widen at the many electronics they had to offer. He followed Harry who went straight to a salesperson and asked for the latest Iphone they had. Before he knew it, Louis had different phones in front of him, and Harry telling him to pick the one he liked better.

“Aren’t they all the same?” Louis asked him, seeing Blake picking one up then begging Harry with his eyes.

“Yes, but they’re different colors.” Harry gave him a smile then turned to look at Blake, “Son, you already have a phone.”

“But it’s old and I want a new one. Jeffrey’s dad got him a new one and it’s just like yours. Why can’t I have a new one like Jeffrey does?” He said.

“It’s an Iphone 4, most kids would kill to have one. And that was Mr. Tramell’s choice to get him a new one, yours still work perfectly fine, so no, you don’t need a new one.” Harry told him, giving him a look that meant it wasn’t open for discussion.

“Fine.” Blake pouted, letting Louis wrap his arms around him.

“Which one do you think I should get?” Louis asked him.

“The silver one. Jeffrey says it’s the best, and I like it so I think you would like it.” Blake looked up at Louis.

“Then the silver one it is.” Louis told Harry, before kissing Blake’s cheeks. He ignored the many looks people were give them, even heard the word _gold digger_ being muttered.

The green eyed man nodded and turned to speak to the salesperson while Louis and Blake looked around. They were looking at the MacBooks when Harry walked up to them and handed Louis a small plastic bag. He was about to take it when Harry paused, looking deep in thought.

“I’ll carry it for you, darling. I don’t want anybody to hurt you if they try to take it.” Harry explained, seeing Louis’ eyes widening before he nodded, “Okay! Now let's go shop. If a store catches your attention, let me know.”

Louis nodded, and minutes later they were in American Apparel where Louis chose a few shirts and hoodies. He didn’t have a preference for brands, but couldn’t help himself when he saw the Vans store. He tried shoes after shoes until he was satisfied with the ones he wanted. However, the smile didn’t last when he saw the total. He wanted to tell Harry to take some back, but Harry was already paying without batting an eyelash.

Louis didn’t want his son to feel left out, convincing Harry to get him something too. Blake ended up with new shoes and clothes, as well as a few toys and clothes for Harley. At some point, Harry had gone to put the bags in the car while Louis and Blake saved a spot in a restaurant. They ordered their food and ate as fast as they could when Louis wanted to keep looking around, too fascinated with everything.

He ended up buying more things he had liked and needed, always making sure Harry was okay with spending that much money. By the time they were done, Blake looked like a zombie when he was already too tired as they walked to the car. The ride home was silent and when they got home, Blake took Harley out of his crate to dress him up in his new outfits. He started taking pictures while Louis and Harry put things away.

“I don’t think it’s going to fit in here. I got a lot of things.” Louis said as he looked around the closet.

“It will fit, this closet is big enough.” Harry gave him a smile, “My clothes are all spread out, but once I move them to my side of the closet you’ll have more than enough space.”

“Thank you.” Louis said, “For getting me all of this.” He looked down at the many shopping bags.

“You don’t have to thank me.” Harry grabbed a few of his suits to move them to his side of the closet.

“And for the phone too.” Louis continued, “I have no idea how to use it.” He commented, blushing a deep red.

“Blake or I can help you with that. Maybe Blake, he knows more than I do.” Harry chuckled.

“Yeah, he’s a smart boy.” Louis smiled, not thinking before he spoke again, “He asked me if I was going to have another baby.”

That made Harry pause, and Louis could see the way his adam’s apple bobbed up and down before he finally looked at him. He had a strange expression on his face, one that crushed all of Louis’ hopes. Until Harry cleared his throat and asked the million dollar question.

“Do you want to?” He asked, “Have more kids with me?”

“As many as we can.” Louis answered. His eyes filling with tears just like Harry’s were doing too, the memories crashing down on them.

 

_“How many kids would you like to have?” Harry asked him, his arms wrapped around Louis, and his hands on his belly._

_“As many as we can.” Louis smiled from where he was sitting in between Harry’s legs._

_“A whole army.” Harry nuzzled his face on the crook of Louis’ neck, making the blue eyed boy squirm and giggle._

_“A whole army.” Louis agreed._

 

Louis snapped out of it, seeing Harry staring at him before he smiled, “But I want to wait. Right now all I want is spend time with you and Blake.”

“I agree. Maybe I’ll could take a few days off and go on holiday. Maybe we could go to New York for New Year’s Eve.” Harry suggested.

“I want to spend those days here.” Louis told him, “It’s going to be my first christmas with Blake and I would like to spend them here. It’s going to be our first christmas too.” He gave him a shy smile.

“And your birthday.” Harry said, quickly biting his tongue when Louis looked away.

“How old am i going to be, Harry?” Louis looked at him with tears in his eyes.

“Whatever you want, love.” Harry answered, then wrapped his arms around Louis.

Louis nodded from where he had his face buried against Harry’s chest, sighing when Harry started rubbing his back. Minutes later Louis pulled back and gave Harry a smile that didn’t quite reached his eyes, then continued helping Harry make space for his clothes.

They finished by the time it was dinner time, and while Harry cooked, Louis and Blake were trying to get the hang of Louis’ new phone. He had already added his family and friends contact numbers, even his mother’s when he knew he’ll see her someday. After asking Harry, Louis had gone to their bedroom and called his father to invite him over for dinner. Harry had done the same with his mum, and as soon as they got there, they started eating. All that was missing was his mother, and he hoped to see her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	15. The Old Life Is Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello! I finally got around to finishing another chapter for this story, and When The Wolves Come Out is next!! A few things about this chapter! There are mentions of religion, please understand that I do not mean to offend anyone. What I mention is for the sake of the story, and if it does offend any of you, I deeply and sincerely apologize. I listened to Whirlwind Of Rubbish by Evangelist while writing this chapter. It is not edited but please enjoy. Don't forget to comment! Enjoy!

When monday came around and Blake absolutely had to go back to school, Louis had offered to take him but couldn’t when he didn’t have a driver’s license. That’s when he had asked Harry to take him so he could get one, set on doing it right away and not taking a no for an answer. That morning he accepted Harry’s offer of letting him go with him to drop Blake off then drive him to Anne’s so he wouldn't be alone all day. She wasn’t working that day and had happily invited Louis over.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Anne hugged him as soon as he and Harry had walked in.

“Morning Anne.” Louis hugged her back, letting go so she could hug Harry.

“You feel so cold.” Anne told Harry, “You need to wear more warm clothes than what you’re wearing, you’re going to get sick.”

“I told him but he wouldn’t listen to me.” Louis said as he smiled.

The final days of October were starting to get colder, making Louis wonder if Blake was gonna go Trick or Treating. He wanted to take him, but was worried about him getting sick from the cold. He looked at Anne, making a mental note to ask her about past years so he’ll know what to do and expect. He snapped out of his thoughts when Anne let go of Harry and made her way to the kitchen, leaving them standing alone in the foyer.

“I’ll see you home later tonight, okay? My mum is going there after picking Blake up from school.” Harry told him as he stepped closer to Louis, slowly wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Okay, but don’t get home too late. I want us to have dinner together, Anne is going to help me cook it.” Louis smiled, already so excited, “I invited dad too, I don’t want him to be alone. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. He’s always welcomed as long as you and Blake want him there.” Harry rested his cheek on the top of Louis’ head, loving how small Louis was.

“Thank you.” Louis told him, burying his face on the crook of Harry’s neck until the older man pulled away.

“I have to go now. I love you.” Harry told him, smiling when Louis’ cheeks tinted a lovely shade of pink.

“Love you too. Be safe, okay.” Louis let go of him, accepting Harry’s kiss.

He wanted more but he sadly had to let him go, there were people that needed Harry and Louis was so proud of him. He watched him through the window until Harry left, then made his way to the kitchen where Anne was making tea. He took a seat at the table, watching Anne until she made her way to him with two cups of tea.

“I hope you still like your tea the same.” Anne told him.

“I do.” Louis gave her a warm smile, “Nothing’s changed, at least about me.” Louis sighed, looking up at her to find her giving him a sad look.

“I’m sorry, honey. I shouldn’t have said that.” She took a seat next to him.

“No no! God no! Anne don’t feel like that.” Louis gave her a horrified look, afraid of having made her feel bad, “I didn’t mean it like that, I meant that I’m still the same old Louis.” He reached for her hand, smiling when Anne held it.

“I just want you to be comfortable, love.” Anne told him, “I don’t want to upset you.”

“Anne…” Louis sighed, “I understand and I appreciate it, I really do. But you can’t protect me from everything, you have to let me experience things even if they’re unpleasant. It’s part of this world and I have to learn how to live in it, I have to get used to it again.”

“I know, sweetheart.” Anne placed her hand on his left cheek, “You’re like a son to me and no matter what, I’m always going to want to protect you.” She told him, getting worried when Louis’ blue eyes filled with tears.

“Sorry.” Louis pulled away, wiping his eyes as he did so.

“You miss her.” Anne stated, quickly wrapping her arms around Louis when he started crying.

“Anne...what have I done?” Louis mumbled, before completely breaking down. His chest ached and he didn’t know how to make it stop, how to make it up to her.

She didn’t know how long Louis had been holding it in when he broke down in her arms, his shoulders shaking more and more until she held him tighter. Her shirt was wet with tears when he finally calmed down, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

“She loves you, Lou. She will forgive you, and all she’ll want to do is be with you. She wants another chance, she wants to start over.” Anne rubbed his back, seeing Louis nodding.

“I do have a lot to apologize for, I want to make things right between us. I just hope it doesn’t take as long as it took for me.” Louis wiped way his tears with his sleeves, embarrassed of the way he had broken down in front of her.

“All in time.” Anne smiled, making Louis feel better, “Now how about you ask me all those questions you said you had.”

Louis looked down and his cheeks tinted a rosy color when he knew what he wanted to ask wasn’t something he should be asking her. He should be asking Harry, but he was too embarrassed and didn’t want to face reality. He didn’t want to think and know about Harry with someone else, of Harry touching someone else the way he used to touch him. He didn't want to know at all, but the curiosity was killing him.

“Louis, what’s bothering you? I know there’s something there.” Anne said.

“It’s embarrassing.” Louis refused to look at her.

“I’m sure that whatever it is can’t be that bad.” Anne tried to convince him to speak up, “We all have an open mind here, in fact, this is the non judging room. You can tell me anything.”

“I just…” Louis took a deep breath, “It’s Harry whom I should be asking this but I can’t because it's invasive and I have no right to be upset because I know it's going to upset me if he says yes. But I want to know but can’t ask because he had the right to. I was dead for ten years and I know he has...urges.” Louis finally finished, taking a deep breath at the end. That’s when he realized he has already let the cat out of the bag.

“You shouldn’t be afraid to ask him.” Anne told him, “I’m not the right person to answer this, Lou. Harry’s very open minded and I’m sure he won’t mind that you’re honest, that you want to know these type of things. Sure, it will catch him off guard but I’m sure he’ll answer all your questions.”

“I…” Louis looked at her, then out the window where he could see it was going to rain when he saw the dark skies, “He just...he won’t...he won’t touch me at all. And sometimes I feel like he doesn’t want me like that anymore, I mean, look at me. I don’t think I’m his type anymore, he probably likes older men.”

“You will never know if you don’t ask him.” Anne grabbed his forearm, “He has all the answers, all you have to do is ask. He won’t deny you it, you deserve to know.”

“I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you.” Louis gave her an apologetic look.

“It’s not bad, and I’m glad you did. You can’t keep all of this bottled up, it’s not good.” Anne gave him a warm genuine smile, “Do you have more questions for me?” She chuckled.

“Did you and mum got along, after I died?” Louis asked, “What about dad?”

“You know we didn’t get along back before everything happened, I wasn’t fond of them at all. When you left us I was ready to do everything in my power to take Blake from them and bring him home with us, I wanted my grandson to grow up with us. In the end it wasn’t necessary when Jay showed up with the baby in her arms, she was alone and so broken.” Anne started tearing up at the memory.

“She told us Mark had agreed with her decision and that he was going to make things right, of course we didn’t know what he meant back then. She gave Blake to Harry and that was the first time ever Harry got to hold him.” Anne said, then more tears started rolling down her cheeks, “That was also the very first time he ever smiled after your death.”

“I’m hoping Blake behaved.” Louis dried his tears, “That he was a good baby.” He continued, wishing he could have been there.

“He’s always being a good kid, so compassionate.” Anne assured him, “I’m sure you know that by now.”

“He is, all of you raised him well...you did great.” Louis said, trying to smile but couldn’t keep smiling for long.

“You have years ahead with him, love. He’s not going anywhere, and I know me telling you this doesn’t make you feel better but you’re here now.” Anne said, taking a drink from her now warm tea.

“I’m sure I’ll get over it, but for now I can’t. There’s...there’s so many things that bother me, but I know I’ll get over them someday.” Louis confessed.

He couldn't help but feel afraid of what he used to be and what he was now. He knew he was safe where he was, that he was safe with Harry and they were still in love. He knew Harry would never leave him, and that they would always be together with their son. But sometimes, deep inside his core, he was afraid. He was afraid of what the future held for him, scared of things not working out the way he wanted them to. He looked at Anne as he drank his tea, then gave her a smile. They did nothing but talk the rest of the day, about how everything worked now. Louis wanted to know everything about the new world he had come back to, where he was going to live his new life when his old life was over. It was over, but it had left a great impact on him and those around him.

When the time to pick Blake up from school finally got there, Louis was the first to realize it and happily followed Anne to her car already excited because he was going to see his baby again. He and Anne made small conversation on the way there, and when they got to the school they saw Blake standing by the gate with two other boys.

Louis was fast to get out of the car when he saw another man approaching them, not trusting anybody anymore. The world had changed in all those years he had been gone and he couldn’t help but fear almost everything. He took in the way his son seemed comfortable around the man, and was even talking to him. A smile crept into his lips when Blake saw him and his eyes lit up at the sight of him, saying something to the man who turned around to look at him.

“They’re my dad Louis and my Nana Anne.” Blake told the man.

“I see.” The man said, looking at Louis up and down with raised brows.

“Excuse me. Who are you?” Louis asked the man, looking him up and down just like the man had done to him.

“I’m Josh Tramell, Jeffrey’s dad. Nice to meet you.” Josh said, “Hello Mrs. Styles.” He greeted Anne.

“Louis Tomlinson.” Louis shook his hand, not wanting to look rude.

“Hello.” Anne smiled at him, watching the way he was looking at Louis.

“Tomlinson? You’re related to Mark Tomlinson?” Josh asked, a smile on his face.

“Uhh...Yeah, he’s my father.” Louis furrowed his brows, watching him doing the same.

Panic began settling deep in his tummy when he realized the conclusion Josh had just come to, pulling Blake closer to him and wrapping his arms around him. His instinct was to protect his son, not himself, leaving him feeling overwhelmed.

“My ex husband works for him in his research center.” Josh explained, not wanting to upset the boy when he was a living miracle standing in front of him. Who would’ve thought Harry Styles had something to do with Louis Tomlinson, that he was back from the dead after the news about his death had spread everywhere back then.

“I see.” Louis said, feeling a lump in his throat then looked down at Blake and back at Josh, “We have to go, have quite a few errands to run. It was nice to meet you.” He lied, just wanting to get out of there and go back home where he was safe, where he felt safe.

“Of course.” Josh said, “It was nice meeting you too.”

Louis let Blake say goodbye to his friends then they walked back to the car where he waited for his son to get in and buckle himself up before he got in. On their way home, they stopped at a supermarket where Louis’ eyes widened at the amount of things they sold. Some things were new to him and others he remembered quite well even if they had different packaging. He grabbed a few things he liked and others he wanted to try after Anne had told him to feel free to grab whatever he wanted when Harry was paying for everything.

“How was school, love?” Louis asked his son as they walked behind Anne who was busy looking for ingredients for the dinner she and Louis were going to cook together.

“It was good! I told my friends you’re my dad but Jeffrey doesn’t believe me, he thinks you’re my brother.” Blake said, looking up at his father when Louis only stared at him.

“I’m not your brother.” Louis furrowed his brows, “I’m your dad.”

“I know! But he doesn’t believe me.” Blake shrugged, walking ahead of him to ask his Nana for candy.

Louis watched him go, feeling sadness mixed with anger at what Blake had told him. The idea of people confusing him for Blake’s brother instead of his father made him upset. He walked faster to catch up with them, unable to stop thinking about it. He knew that people who didn’t know them would always think like that, would always think of him as some sort of gold digger after Harry’s money. A man who was and looked way older than he did.

He cleared his throat and decided not to dwell on it too much, accepting that it was always going to be like that. No matter what they said about him and Harry, he loved him, he had known him ever since Harry was young like he still was. It was then that he decided to enjoy his new life with his family and ignore everybody else. They didn’t have a say and it was none of their business after all.

When they finally paid for all of their stuff, they went home where Louis was more than ready to finally cook his first meal after years. He was happy that Anne had let him be a parent to Blake when she didn’t intervene at all. It had started when they got home and Blake had gone straight to Harley to take him out of his crate, completely ignoring the fact that he was supposed to eat a snack and do his homework.

“Blake, you’re supposed to eat a snack.” Louis told him, watching him turn the tv on, “Do you want fruit dip or caramel popcorn?” He asked, catching Blake’s attention.

Louis made his way to the living room, having left Anne in the kitchen after she had nodded at him that it was okay. He found Blake sitting on the couch with Harley on his lap and his backpack on the floor next to him. He took a seat next to him and watched him until Blake snapped out of it, having being deep in thought.

“I’ve never had that.” Blake furrowed his brows, “Wait! Grandma Jay made me caramel popcorn!” Blake smiled.

“She used to make it for me all the time when I was little, fruit dip was also my favorite. I could make one of them for you.” Louis said, hoping for Blake to say yes.

“Okay! I want caramel popcorn, please.” Blake told him, “Thank you, dad.”

“No problem, baby.” Louis reached to pull him closer and kiss the side of his head, “Do you have any homework?” He asked, seeing the way Blake hesitated before he shook his head no.

“Are you sure?” Louis asked again, “I don’t want you telling us in the middle of the night that you have a book report due the next day. I don’t like it when you lie, and it’s not okay.”

“I have to do math homework, but I don’t want to.” Blake avoided looking at Louis, “It’s boring and I hate fractions.” He pouted, making Louis smile when he remembered how much he hated them too.

“They’re awful but we have to do our homework. You’re a very very smart boy and I’m sure it’ll be a piece of cake to you.” Louis wrapped his arm around his son’s shoulders, “Please start on your homework while I make your snack, okay?”

“Okay.” Blake sighed, knowing he had to listen to his dad.

Louis smiled at him one more time, then got up to help Anne put away the rest of the groceries. When he got there he started putting the fruits away then turn the oven on to start making the caramel popcorn. He still remembered how to make it and he found that fascinating. He had expected all his memories to be gone, but he still remembered everything before he had passed away. For him it was as if he had just gone to sleep one day, and had woken up the next as if it had been a normal night’s sleep.

“Caramel popcorn?” Anne asked as she gathered all the ingredients on the kitchen island, seeing Louis taking out everything he needed plus the bags of popcorn she would buy for that snack.

“Yeah!” Louis smiled, “For his after school snack.”

“He loves caramel popcorn.” Anne said, taking the broccoli out of the plastic bag to start cutting it.

“Thank you for letting me be the one to take care of him.” Louis said, grabbing a bowl to cut the necessary butter into small pieces, then added honey and a pinch of salt before covering the bowl with a paper towel to put it in the microwave.

“No need to thank me, sweetheart. You did a wonderful job.” She praised him, making Louis smile.

They didn’t speak while they cooked, until Louis had to tell Blake to turn the tv off and do his homework like he was supposed to.

Once the butter was melted, he mixed it with twelve cups of popcorn and a cup of pecans. Once he deemed it ready, he spread it on a parchment-lined baking sheet and put it in the oven for it to bake. When he was done with that, he started helping Anne cut the steak into thin strips as they made conversation. Halfway through cutting all the ingredients, Blake’s snack was ready and the boy happily sat down on a stool to eat it.

“I’m done with my homework.” Blake announced, “Dad, can you please check it so I can watch tv?” He asked.

“Sure, just let me wash my hands.” Louis said.

He was glad he still remembered them when he looked over his son’s worksheet, high-fiving him when all of them were correct. He let him watch tv while he and Anne finished with dinner, and when they were done cutting all the ingredients for the beef and broccoli stir-fry they started cooking it. Anne cooked the rice while Louis cooked the beef, always following Anne’s recipe step by step, always being a little afraid of messing it up.

They were almost done with it when something on the tv caught their attention. Louis felt his heart dropping to his stomach when he saw the ad, just asking people to sign a petition to stop cryopreservation and resuscitation. He felt a lump in his throat when he saw a blond woman speaking out about how it was wrong, and against God’s will. That people died for a reason, that it was God’s will and the dead should stay that way; dead.

Louis was startled when Anne threw the bowl Louis had used in the sink, then watched her wash her hands before heading to the living room. She grabbed the remote and changed the channel to Cartoon Network, glad that Blake was in the bathroom, then started muttering about hypocrisy. She looked at Louis who was looking right back at her, quickly going to him to make sure he was okay.

“Can they do that?” Louis asked, his voice shaking with fear.

“They’ve been trying to do it for years, but nothing ever comes out of it. Based on what Harry has told me, cryopreservation and resuscitation are a hundred percent legal as long as it's done properly and they have the consent of the family. Your dad and the many doctors he works with are doing nothing wrong, they only give them hope when their loved ones part too early, and they give them another chance.” Anne explained.

“But they say it’s wrong and a sin.” Louis looked at her with big blue eyes full of unshed tears, “They gave me and others another chance. I don’t understand.” he looked so confused, breaking Anne’s heart.

“We need to understand that sometimes their religious views don’t let them see that, they see things differently than most of us do. We’re told to respect that but sometimes it's hard when they keep doing things like that. It's a tricky subject, but don’t worry about that. They can’t hurt you, sweetheart. Don’t be afraid.” Anne hugged him, not knowing what else to tell him as she rubbed his back.

“Dad?” Blake asked, making them pull apart, seeing Blake standing by the kitchen door with Harley by his side.

“Hi love!” Louis tried to smile, knowing he hadn’t look too convincing when Blake ran to him and wrapped his arms around him.

“Don’t be sad, it makes me sad when you’re sad.” Blake looked up at him with big blue eyes.

“I’m not, baby. I’m so happy, and you know why?” Louis kissed the top of his head, “Because I’m here with you and papa. That’s why I get emotional sometimes.” Louis told him, hoping his son would believe him.

“I’m happy you’re here too.” Blake hugged him tighter.

They pulled apart when Louis had to finish dinner, letting Blake help him set the table before going upstairs to shower. When dinner time came around they waited and waited for Harry and Mark to show up, making them worry that something had happened to them. They ended up getting home two hours later, finding Anne downstairs in the game room with Blake and Louis nowhere to be seen.

“He’s upstairs and he’s upset.” Anne told them, “He thinks something happened to both of you. Where were you?” She asked.

Harry made sure Blake was out of earshot before he answered his mother, feeling Mark’s hand on his shoulder, “We were with Jay.”

“Is she back?” Anne’s eyes widened, looking at Mark who was smiling.

“This morning, and she’s responding well to treatment. We’re hoping she wakes up soon.” Harry explained.

“I came to give Louis the news, and eat the dinner he promised.” Mark said, “I’m going back to the institution after it.”

“Are you going to tell him now?” Anne asked them, biting on his bottom lip.

“Did something happen?” Harry asked, already heading towards the stairs.

“The petition to stop cryopreservation.” Anne said, and it was enough for both men, seeing them clenching their jaws, “Blake was watching tv and one of their ads came on. I did my best to tell him not to be afraid, but I think he’s still a little upset about that.”

“I’ve had it with them.” Harry pulled on his hair, “I’m gonna go see him.” He said, already making his way upstairs, leaving the rest behind. Mark let him go, knowing that his son needed Harry.

~*~

When Harry made it to their bedroom, he knocked on the door then opened it, seeing nothing but darkness. His chest ached when he could make out Louis’ figure on the bed, curled up into a small ball. He slowly made his way to him, taking his shoes off before he got in the bed next to him and wrapped an arm around him. He could feel Louis tense up for a fraction of a second before he relaxed again, moving closer to him.

“They’re not going to hurt you.” Harry told him, kissing the back of his neck after.

“I’m still afraid.” Louis spoke up, before turning around to face Harry, letting him hold him close.

“I won’t let them hurt you, they can go to hell.” Harry firmly said, capable of doing anything to keep Louis safe. Capable of hurting anyone who tried to hurt Louis, the love of his life, the light of his eyes.

“I know you won’t let them hurt me, I am and feel safe with you.” Louis looked up, barely making out the shape of Harry’s well defined jawline.

He didn’t think twice and kissed it, moving up a little to kiss his lips. He was happy when Harry responded right away, letting the man gently trace his tongue on his bottom lip. They pulled away, with Harry pecking his lips one more time, getting ready to tell him the good news. He was just about to tell him when Louis beat him to it.

“Did you see mum today? Is she doing okay?” Louis asked, “I keep hoping she’ll be back with us soon. I thought something bad had happened to you and dad, that maybe it was mum.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t call, darling.” Harry apologized, taking a deep breath before speaking up again, “Your mum...she’s out of cryopreservation.” He said, almost getting hit on the nose by Louis’ head.

“What?” Louis asked, his eyes filling up with tears, “She’s alive? Is she okay? Harry, tell me!” Louis demanded, going as far as smacking him on the arm.

“She is, she’s back in the institution recovering. We unfroze her this morning and there were no complications so we expect a nice recovery. Slow but a nice recovery nonetheless.” Harry told him, not expecting for Louis to start sobbing right there and then.

To Louis it was a relief, it was like a breath of fresh air. He thanked them over and over again as he sobbed and Harry held him close. And that moment he promised himself to make his mum happy and start over new. He and his mother had another chance.

The old life was over, but a new one had just started. A new and better one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	16. We Belong Together

When Louis walked into his father’s institution the next morning, it was with Harry and his father in tow. He was a nervous mess already, afraid of his mother doing to him what he had done to her. According to his father, she was yet to wake up but was doing better than ever. He took a deep breath when he found himself outside her door, in that same room he had been in before going home with Harry and their son.

He let his father open the door for him, and what he saw made his eyes fill with unshed tears that he refused to let slide down his cheeks. He didn’t wait for his dad to tell him it was okay to walk in and touch her. He just went for it, grabbing her hand and holding it with both of his, unable to stop looking at her. He wanted to apologize again, but realized he should do it when she was awake. Not now when he wasn’t even sure if she could hear him.

“Is she okay?” Louis asked, glancing at Harry and his father before his gaze settled back on his mother.

She looked truly beautiful in Louis’ eyes. Her long dark wavy hair was over her shoulder, and even though she had on a face mask and had dark circles under her eyes. Even though her lips and cheek had no color, she was still beautiful. Louis took a seat next to her, trying to ignore but still being careful around the many cables connected to her. She rubbed the top of her hand with her thumb, lifting it up to kiss it.

“She’s doing pretty well, and to be honest, better than we expected.” Mark answered, making his way to her other side to check on her.

“That’s great.” Louis sighed in relief, “I’m going to stay here with her.” He announced, already set on not letting them convince him otherwise.

“Okay, but make sure you eat all your meals. Call me if you need anything. I’m going back to the hospital.” Harry made his way to him, kissed him on the lips and started walking backwards to the door, “Call me. You have your wallet and phone, right?” He asked before leaving, but not before Louis had answered his question.

“I'll come back later to check on her.” Mark said, “Don't hesitate to use the call button, or just call me.”

“We'll be okay.” Louis said.

When he was finally alone with his mom, he got up and went to sit on her other side. He started running his fingers through her long hair, frowning when some came off. He thought it was because she wasn't so healthy at the moment, so he got up and threw it away. He took his time to really look at her, see how she had changed throughout the years. She had more wrinkles by her eyes, but weren't really noticeable unless you were close enough. He grabbed her hand again and pressed a kiss on the top of it, leaving it there in his hold.

“Halloween is a week from now.” Louis said, not really knowing what else to say, “Blake told us he wants to be _The Winter Soldier_ , so Harry and I are going to take him later today to pick it up. We found one online and it has a wig and everything.” Louis chuckled.

“I wish you could see him, mum. He just keeps growing, and I’m sure that soon he’ll be as tall as Harry.” Louis kept talking to her, “You have to wake up so you can see him before we take him trick or treating. He’ll love to see you there.”

He was still with her by the time lunch time came around, having to eat when Harry and his dad had made sure he did. He ate all of it when he didn’t want to upset them, and because Anne had texted him to not forget to eat something. When he and Harry were supposed to pick Blake up, he was busy trying to reply to a text from Blake when his son had asked when they were going to pick him up. It took him a bit and sighed in relief when he finally pressed send. He put it away and got up, stretching as he observed his mom, then went to her to tell her he was leaving. He felt bad for having to leave when she had not left him alone once when he had been in her position.

“I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you, mom.” He kissed her forehead, then made his way to the reception are on the first floor.

When he got there, Harry was already waiting for him, deep in conversation with his father. They looked to be arguing and Louis furrowed his brow, wanting to know what was going on. He kept walking until he was a few feet away from them, that’s when he saw one of the other elevators opening. He saw a woman and a man walking out, and a child that looked about Blake’s age. The boy looked around with wide frightened eyes, and clung to his mother with her doing the same. That’s when it hit Louis who the boy was.

“I already told you they can’t do anything, Harry. This benefits the country.” Mark argued, confusing Louis to no end.

“What’s going on?” Louis interrupted them.

“Nothing, Lou. Just a few problems with the institution, nothing big.” Mark quickly told him, then his gaze settled on the small family making their way to them, “Jacob! Leaving us already, bud?” Mark bent down to high five the child.

“You said I could go home now.” Jacob said, his voice wavering a bit, looking nervous.

“Oh yeah!” Mark exclaimed as he snapped his fingers, “Silly old me forgot!” He chuckled, making the boy laugh then look at Harry and Louis.

“How are you feeling, Jake?” Harry asked with a smile on his face.

“Good. My chest doesn’t hurt anymore.” Jacob answered.

“That’s great! That means you’re good now and you get to go home.” Harry told him, having already noticed the way he wouldn’t stop looking at Louis.

“They brought you back too. I heard the nurses.” Jacob told Louis.

It made their hearts hurt when a ten year old that was supposed to be fifteen, already knew and had gone through a lot than most adults. Just like Louis. Louis stared at him, then got closer as he slowly started smiling.

“They did.” Louis nodded, and what Jacob said next completely shattered his heart.

“Do your friends still like you? They didn’t come see me, but mom told me they’re older now.” He said, sounding years older than what he physically was.

Louis did not know what to say and he hated not being able to, “I know it’s hard, but this is a big world and I’m sure you’ll find friends soon enough. It will take a little while but you will.”

“I hope so.” Jacob looked down.

“It will be halloween soon. Are you going trick or treating?” Harry enthusiastically asked him.

“I don’t know…” Jacob trailed off, looking up at his parents for an answer.

“We will, we just have to pick a costume.” Jacob’s mother, Angie, answered with a smile on her face while his father Max nodded.

Harry got up and wrapped an arm around Louis’ waist, “Our son is going as _The Winter Soldier_.” He said, seeing Jacob perking up at the information.

“I know him! Dad showed me the movies, they’re good.” Jacob smiled, making all the adults smile when the boy was slowly starting to come out of his shell, “I like _Captain America._ ”

“Maybe you can dress up as him.” Max wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind.

“ _The Winter Soldier_ and _Captain America_ , that’s cute.” Angie chuckled.

That gave Louis an idea, but bit his tongue, not wanting to look desperate or something like that. He was going to keep his mouth shut, but one look at Jacob told him he shouldn’t. So he went for it.

“Maybe they can go trick or treating together, our son and yours.” Louis suggested, “That way they’re not alone.” He said, seeing the smile they were giving him.

“We don’t want to intrude.” Max said.

“We insist.” Harry quickly said, knowing it was the right time since Blake’s friends weren’t going with him this year.

“Only if Jacob wants to, we won’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do.” Angie said, something that made Louis admire her.

He looked at them, watched the way they were clinging to their son and the way Jacob clung to them. He knew how the felt, how the world was so different and scary for both of them, for all the people who had gone through what they did. He knew what it was like to have everybody else move on and get older while you stayed the same.

“Would you like that, Jake?” Max asked his son, getting a shy nod in return, “Okay then!” He smiled.

“Great!” Harry said, “We have each other’s numbers, I’ll text you to plan where we’re going to meet.”

“Thank you, it means a lot to us.” Angie said.

“Thank you for accepting.” Harry said.

“We have to go, but we’ll text you.” Max told them, getting ready to go.

Louis bent down to look at Jacob, “Take care, yeah.” He smiled when Jacob nodded.

The family of three ended up leaving soon after with one last wave. Louis smiled as he watched Angie helping Jacob put his coat on, then Max picking him up and making sure he was well covered before they went outside into the cold.

“He’s such a strong boy.” Mark commented.

“How did he react? When he was told five years have passed.” Louis asked.

“He was terrified. But he’s slowly getting used to it.” Mark told him.

“His parents are amazing, they’re doing a great job with helping him adjust to his new life. Now I’m hoping he and Blake become friends. Jacob didn’t take too well the truth about his friends growing up and becoming teenagers.” Harry continued.

“Poor baby.” Louis sadly sighed.

“We have to go, Mark. We’re picking Blake up then we have to go pick up his costume. Call us if anything happens, please.” Harry quickly said, knowing they were late to pick their boy up.

“I will, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Dad…” Louis raised a perfect brow, “You need to go home and rest.”

“I’ve been showering here and sleeping on the couch, I have a bag with everything I need there.” Mark explained, “I’m not going to leave your mother alone.”

“Make sure you get plenty of sleep and food.” Louis said, not leaving until his father promised him so, “Call us if anything happens.”

When they finally left, it was in a rush when Blake kept texting them over and over again telling them the school was almost empty. As soon as Harry stopped the car in front of the school, they both got out and went inside to find him since it was too cold to wait outside. On their way there, Louis grabbed Harry’s hand as soon as he saw the same guy who had made conversation with him the day before walking out with his child by his side.

He didn’t like the way he looked at Harry, and that made him walk closer to him. He smiled when Harry switched sides, and with the hand he was using to hold his hand, Harry brought Louis’ arm around the younger boy’s chest, leaving Harry’s arm over his small shoulder. His hand holding his smaller one close to his chest, close to his beating heart.it earned them a few looks, but they didn’t care at all. Louis clenched his jaw when Harry used his free hand to wave at the man, surprising himself when he made Harry walk faster, having never shown jealousy before the way he was doing now.

“You okay?” Harry asked him.

“Yeah, just want to pick Blake up. He’s waited more than necessary, he’s probably hungry.” Louis replied.

“I’ll buy him something on the way to the store.” Harry told him.

When they got there, Blake was sitting on his desk looking down at his phone. When he finally saw them, he got up, said goodbye to his teacher, then made his way to them. He let Harry carry his backpack after he had hugged Louis and then him. That’s something Harry had noticed, how Blake would now hug Louis before him and for the longest time. He had come to a conclusion one night as Louis and their son slept next to him cuddling like always. Blake was afraid of losing Louis again, and he wanted to show him how much he loved him. The latter made Harry so proud of their son, but the first made him sad.

“Are we picking up my costume now?” Blake asked as they made their way to the car.

“Yes, but we’re getting something to eat first. We can go to your favorite restaurant.” Harry told him, letting him and Louis buckle up before he pulled out of the parking spot.

“McDonald’s?” Blake excitedly asked, “I love McDonald’s, but you never let me have any.”

“We can eat it, but only this time. A lot of fast food is not good for us.” Harry raised a brow, turning around to look at Blake.

“I want a Big Mac and a lot of fries. Oh! And a sprite!” Blake listed out, already licking his lips just by imagining all the goodness he was gonna get to eat. He happily sighed when he was way too happy and excited for the rest of the day.

“We should eat there.” Louis suggested, smiling when Blake shouted a yes.

All three smiled the whole way there and when they finally made it there, Louis and Blake raced to the restaurant, leaving Harry behind to grab Louis’ phone and lock the car. He looked down when Louis’ phone vibrated, seeing it was a text from Zayn. he didn’t read it when Louis deserved privacy, and instead held the phone tighter as he finally made it inside the restaurant. He found Blake already ordering, and Louis waiting for his turn as he studied the menu. Louis ended up ordering the chicken nuggets and Harry a Big Mac like Blake. They found a booth and sat down, Blake sitting next to Louis by the window.

“How was school, bud?” Harry asked.

“Boring.” Blake answered, “Until we started talking about the heart and I told them that you save people and bring them back. Piper said her dad said it’s a sin to bring people back if they’re already dead. But Jeffrey told her to shut up and he got in trouble, I think they called his dad but he wasn’t mad because he was defending me.”

“That’s a load of bullshit.” Louis said out of nowhere, his brows furrowed as he looked at Blake then at Harry. Soon he realized the word he had used.

“It is.” Harry agreed with him, “But people have a right to think whatever they want, as long as it doesn’t affect us then it shouldn’t matter. What else did you learn today?” He quickly changed the subject, trying to ignore the looks Louis was giving him, as if he wanted to ask something but couldn’t when their son was next to him.

“Boring stuff like math and verbs and nouns. Then we each talked about our halloween costumes! Jeffrey is going as Iron Man, papa! But I’m sad he’s going to spend it with his other dad.” Blake sighed.

“You don’t have to go along.” Louis started, getting a nod from Harry to continue when he looked at him, “We met a boy your age and this is his first halloween after five years, he’s going as Captain America. We invited him to go with us and I want you to be nice to him and behave.”

“His parents didn’t let him go trick or treating for five years!?” Blake exclaimed, looking at both of his parents with wide eyes.

“No, bud. He was asleep for five years, like dad.” Harry explained, waiting for his son’s reaction.

“Was it his heart, papa?” Blake asked, a sad frown on his face.

“Yeah, but he’s okay now and like dad, he’s starting over. A new life with his parents.” Harry explained.

“Okay. He can go with us. I hope they give us a lot of candy!” Blake smiled, then took a bite out of his Big Mac, making his parents proud of him.

They ended up leaving soon after they had finished their food, and when they got to the store, Blake couldn’t contain his excitement. He had tried his costume and Louis had taken a lot of pictures of his son, looking cute but too funny with the wig he was wearing. Louis had ended up asking Harry to teach him how to send a picture, and was left impressed after he had sent one to Anne and Zayn, having noticed his text from earlier that day. It was an invitation to go out for lunch, and it had Louis excited at the thought of spending time with his best friend.

He started singing along a song he easily recognized to be [We Belong Together](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-ygAZhdh0M), looking up at Harry as a smile slowly made its way onto his face. The way Harry was looking at him took his breath away, it was that same look from years ago. Back then where they had danced to that same song at that Halloween party Zayn had hosted. Where his friend had played that song and had literally pushed him into Harry’s arms, where they had ended up dancing to the whole song not caring who was watching. Harry had still danced with him.

 

_“You're mine and we belong together. Yes, we belong together, for eternity.”_

_By then it was too late and Louis was already in Harry’s arms. He didn’t even have time to glare at Zayn for embarrassing him that way when Harry looked so hopeful._

_“W-Would you like to dance?” Harry asked, trying to hide the sigh of relief he let out when Louis nodded._

_“I would love to.” Louis said, biting his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling like a fool._

_“ You're mine, your lips belong to me. Yes, they belong to only me, for eternity. You're mine, my baby and you'll always be. I swear by everything I own.”_

_Louis was loving every second of it, the way Harry would lead him through the dance floor, the way Harry would look at him. And he swore to god, he could swear Harry was loving every second of it too. And that night, who knew Harry would ask him to officially be his boyfriend four months later. Who knew he would be three months pregnant that same month, but a year later._

_“You'll always, always be mine. You're mine, and we belong together. Yes, we belong together, for eternity.”_

 

They belonged together, that’s how it had been and would always be.

Harry took a step closer, his lips opening then closing as if he couldn’t say what he had to say. As if it whatever he had to say had gotten stuck, with no way out at all. Louis had him right in front of him, where he could easily wrap his arms around his neck and kiss him like they used to. Their son, the product of their love was still inside the changing room trying to put his clothes back on and there was no one around. And that’s exactly what he did.

He got on his tippy toes when Harry was taller than he was, wrapping his arms around his neck, relieved when Harry slowly started leaning in. The song was still playing and they knew it wouldn’t be long before it was over. That’s when Louis eliminated the space between them and kissed him, letting himself loose the tension when Harry kissed him back. He didn’t know things were going to start getting heated rather quickly, with no way to stop it, and not like he wanted to anyway when he felt Harry’s hands wrapping around his waist. Harry’s tongue subtly traced his lower lip, and Louis felt like he was falling.

They pulled apart when they heard the door to the changing room Blake was in opening and the song ending, yet couldn’t stop looking at each other. Not when their lips looked red, and they were panting, as if they had run a marathon. If it had been the result of a small kiss, then they kind of had an idea about how it was going to be if they ever finally had sex. They weren’t going to make it.

“I’m ready!” Blake announced, coming out of the changing room with the costume all balled up in its package. He looked at his parents and raised his brows when he saw them looking at each other, completely ignoring him. _Come On, Let’s Go_ was now playing and his parents had yet to react and acknowledge him.

“Papa! Dad!” Blake made his way to them and pulled on Louis’ sweater, getting his attention when Louis blinked down at him.

“What? What happened? Are you ready?” He asked, trying to fix his sweater.

“I am. We can go now.” Blake gave him curious looks, then showed him the package his dad was quick to take.

“It’s going to be all wrinkled up if you don’t put it back like it was.” Louis muttered, slowly trying to fold the costume and put it back like it was.

“While you do that I’m gonna go pay for it.” Harry said, then left when Louis nodded without looking at him.

“Are you okay, dad?” Blake asked.

“Yeah! Why do you ask?” Louis looked at him with wide eyes.

“You and papa looked funny.” Blake shrugged, picking at a dent on the sheetrock, What were you doing?” Blake asked, looking up at his dad when he started coughing.

“We were just waiting for you, baby.” Louis said after he had calmed down his coughing fit.

“Oh…” Blake said, “I’m done now, so we can go home.”

“Great!” Louis smiled.

They made their way to the front where Harry was just getting his receipt, then put it in his wallet along with his card. He gave Blake the other package with the bar code, walking outside when Louis and Blake did. They got in the car and made their way home in complete silence. Blake was busy playing a game on his phone when Louis turned his head around to see what his son was doing.

He then looked at Harry, blushing when he caught him already looking at him. He chewed on his bottom lip when he saw Harry’s hand resting on the center console, slowly resting his right next to his much bigger hand. He wanted Harry to hold his hand, but when minutes passed and Harry still didn’t hold it, he started moving it away. That’s what he had intended to do when Harry was quick to hold it. He felt a rush of warmth down his spine that soon warmed up his whole body just by feeling Harry’s touch.

Harry’s hold on his hand was tight, as if he was afraid of Louis shaking it off. Louis only held on to his hand tighter and squeezed it once to let him know he was okay with it. He looked at Harry with a smile on his face seeing he was smiling too, before he turned his head around to look out the window. The houses seemed to pass by and disappear, something their love never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	17. Loving can hurt sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Before you start reading, I would love if you read this. 
> 
> As you know, Jay is no longer with us and it absolutely broke all our hearts to lose such a wonderful woman. She'll be greatly missed. 
> 
> After that I didn't know what to do with this story anymore. I didn't know if I should change her name because of what this story is about. I didn't want to disrespect her memory, but I kept feeling bad when I decided at some point to change her name. I've decided to leave her in and I hope none of you get offended because it is not my intention. Jay's character in this fic will be nothing but lovely, a wonderful, kind and amazing mom and person. I hope you understand my decision of leaving her in the fic and know that it is not my intention to disrespect her or her family. 
> 
> With that said, I hope you enjoy the chapter that is not edited. I also listened to a few songs, they have nothing to do with the chapter but I listened to them while writing this chapter. The list is at the end!! Enjoy!

Halloween kept getting closer when Blake realized they hadn’t decorated the house at all, nor the outside of it. Four days before the actual holiday, Harry was bringing out a box full of the decorations from the attic. Louis and Blake waited patiently next to the door in the upstairs that led to it. It had always been locked until now when Harry had finally unlocked it. There were three bedrooms upstairs plus the attic that was quite spacious, something Louis was dying to see.

When he finally walked in all he saw were a few boxes he assumed were full of decorations from the holidays. Blake clung to him as he walked in too, having followed him inside holding onto his shirt. He noticed another door and when he made his way there, he looked around the creepy unfinished bathroom that only gave him chills. They had yet to put actual walls in the whole room, but it was clear it was never going to happen.

For some reason, Louis wanted to finish it and make it into a guest bedroom. He wanted at least one more child and he had already thought of the third bedroom as their bedroom, something that would leave them without a guest bedroom. All they had downstairs was the kitchen with a breakfast area, then a big dining room, a family room by the kitchen and a bigger living room. He knew they had an enormous house after he thought about the basement, something Harry had turned into a game room for Blake.

“I have the box, let's go back.” Harry snapped Louis out of his thoughts.

“Are you ever going to finish this room?” Louis asked out of nowhere, making Harry stop in his tracks, still holding onto the box.

Harry looked around, biting on his bottom lip when he saw all the boxes piled up in a corner, “Umm, I don’t think so. We already have a lot of room and I use this room as a storage room.”

“Oh.” Louis said, starting to walk out of the room, watching how Harry was locking it again.

They walked downstairs where Harry set the box in the middle of the kitchen and opened it. The first thing he took out was a small skeleton and set in on the ground next to the box. He did it until everything was out of the big box then silently gave them a few rags so they could help him clean them up. When they were done, they started finding places to put them, even outside when Blake insisted. When they were done, Harry made hot chocolate and put on a movie for them to watch only for Blake to end up falling asleep on the floor in the middle of the game room.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Louis said, continuing when Harry nodded at him to continue, “What were you and dad talking about yesterday? You always go quiet when I go near, but I heard most of it.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Harry answered right away, making Louis furrow his brow.

“I have a feeling it has to do with the cryopreservation. Even Blake hears how wrong it is.” Louis started trembling.

“Don’t be scared.” Harry reached for him, wrapping his arms around him. “It’s just people who think it’s wrong, they want to ban it. They’ve been doing this for the past seven years but nothing ever comes out of it, more people support it than you think.”

“What happens if they do ban it? What would happen to me and the many others?” Louis asked.

“Nothing, love. They can’t do anything. You’re alive and breathing, you’re a citizen and you have rights.” Harry hugged Louis tighter until he started calming down.

“I don’t want them to take me away, to send me back there...or to the grave.” Louis mumbled.

“Don’t be afraid, you’re safe here with me and Blake.” Harry started rubbing his back, “It’s been a long day, how about we go to bed?” He asked.

“M’kay, I have to shower first and Blake too. He didn’t shower this morning.” Louis sighed.

“Me too. You can go take it while I wake him up, it’s gonna be a pain to do it.” Harry groaned as he was getting up, feeling his back hurting. He was definitely getting old.

Louis nodded and went upstairs, hearing Harry trying to wake up their son. He went straight into the shower, taking his clothes off and dumping them in the hamper before he did so. The warm water instantly calmed him down as he relaxed his muscles and let out a satisfied sigh. He tried to make it quick, and when he was done he got out and wrapped a towel around himself.

He made his way to the sink where we wiped the mirror, revealing a tired teenager looking right back at him. He started at his face until his gaze slowly started traveling down his body, his eyes stopping at his stomach. He lifted one of his hands and traced the bumpy C Section scar. He had given birth nine and a half years ago, but his body told another story. It was still trying to heal from a C Section no older than six months, and he didn’t know how that made him feel. He couldn’t recognize any of the emotions he was feeling at the moment.

He was quick to cover himself when he heard Harry’s voice, then a knock on the door. When he had the towel secured around his body, he opened the door and moved to the side to let Harry in. He was holding a sleeping Blake and his pajamas and towel along with him. He watched him set him down on the floor, and when he let go, he reached to catch him when Blake stumbled.

“He’s too tired. He can take it tomorrow morning or when he gets back from school.” Harry told him as he tried to make Blake walk back to his bedroom.

“Goodnight, Blakey.” Louis kissed his forehead before letting him go.

“Night, dad.” Blake mumbled, barely opening his blue eyes to look at his father.

Harry put the towel and clothes on the counter then picked Blake up to take him back to his bedroom. When he was gone, Louis neatly folded the clothes and when he was done, he went to the closet to grab clean pajamas. He was in the middle of putting his boxers on when Harry walked in already taking his clothes off. He quickly averted his gaze when Harry hooked his fingers at the waistline of his boxers and pulled them down.

All he heard was the water starting to run and when Harry was finally in the shower, he put on his pajama bottoms and a shirt. He went to the sink to brush his teeth, blushing when he could see Harry through the mirror when the glass shower door did nothing to conceal him. He then looked at his reflection, wondering if Harry was still attracted to him, if he didn’t think it was weird to be with him. An eighteen year old teenager who was supposed to be turning twenty-eight in two months.

For him, he had never stopped loving Harry. He was still attracted to him, that was something Louis was a hundred percent sure of. He just wasn’t sure if this Harry was still attracted to him. Louis wondered if he prefered older men now, if he looked too young for him. He wanted to know where they stood as a couple, that’s if they were still that. He wanted to know if Harry was with him for the sole reason that he was his son’s father, or the other painful reason that Harry was with him because he felt pity for him. There were so many things he needed to talk to Harry about, enough to have his head and fingers hurting from holding the toothbrush tightly.

He snapped out of it and started brushing his teeth, letting Harry have some privacy. When he was flossing, Harry finally finished showering. He walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist, grabbing another one to dry his hair as best as he could. He went into the closet and came back out already dressed just as Louis was going to bed. Louis waited for Harry, feeling his hands start to shake when he was finally getting the courage to ask him everything he wanted to know. He needed to know, he needed to move on and to do that, he needed to talk to Harry.

“You okay, Lou?”

Louis startled when Harry’s concerned voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up at the father of his child and gave him a small smile, reassuring him that he was okay. As okay as he could be at the moment.

“I’m okay, was just waiting for you.” Louis told him, letting Harry turn the lights off.

They both laid down on their side of the bed, Louis starting to shake when Harry rolled over on his side and wrapped his arm around his waist. Louis let Harry pull him closer to him, feeling his body behind his. It was as close as they had ever been ever since he had returned to what he now considered his home. It was moments like those when Louis remembered the big house Harry had promised him that night when he had told him he was pregnant. And if Louis was honest, Harry was his home. He would still feel at home even if they were living under a bridge in a damp box.

“Are you sure?” Harry asked, “Lou, you’re shaking.”

Louis’ bottom lip trembled when Harry let go of him and sat up to turn the light on. When the room was illuminated, Louis had tears already rolling down his cheeks. It was now or never. It was finally time to talk about everything he had been holding back.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked again.

“Why did you bring me back?” Louis asked, biting on his bottom lip when he realized that was no way to start, “I mean, I know– you told me you love me, that Blake needs me.”

“I don’t understand.” Harry moved to face him.

“Why did you think it was a good idea? Do you even feel the same way you did before? Do you not find it weird– is that why you won't touch me anymore like you used to? What are we, where do we stand?” Louis desperately asked, starting to cry when he couldn’t even express himself the way he wanted to. He was doing everything wrong, why couldn’t he do anything right.

“I couldn’t lose you. I– I couldn’t let you go when I should have. I was too selfish to do it and I always–” Harry paused and looked away from Louis, not knowing how to continue when he was finally admitting the truth.

“You always what?” Louis encouraged him.

“I always say I did it for Blake, and it’s true...that’s true. But the major reason was myself. I was never able to move on, sometimes I thought that someday I would be able to let you go but that day never came. A lot was taken from us.” Harry looked at Louis, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I wasn’t there the last months of your pregnancy, I wasn’t there when Blake was born and I didn’t know how you really went into labor up until a few months ago. I didn’t hear from you up until you were in a bed dying, where I heard you die through the damn phone.” Harry raised his voice, only to lower it again when he saw Louis was also in tears.

“I tried to run away. It was raining and I slipped.” Louis felt the need to explain as he wrapped his arms around himself, “I was terrified. I– I thought I had hurt my baby, or worse, that I had killed him.”

“He’s fine.” Harry reached for him, wrapping his arms around the boy. His boy.

“I’m sorry I called you that day.” Louis started crying harder, remembering that day, “But I just had to hear you one more time, I had to tell you how much I love you. That was hard for me, but the hardest part was leaving you and our baby. I knew my time was up.”

“Now you see why I couldn’t let you go.” Harry kissed the top of his head, “We promised each other a happy family, and we never got the chance to have it. I promised to make you happy and love you forever, and I never got to make you happy. I’ve loved you for more than ten years and I will always love you.”

Louis pulled back and looked him in the eyes, trying to find the truth. “You mean it?”

“I don’t want you to doubt me. Why wouldn’t I love you?” Harry asked.

“Look at me, Harry!” Louis exclaimed. It was now or never.

“I’m still an eighteen year old and you’re older. Why would you still want me when I look like this. How do I know if you’re with me just because I’m your son’s father. Because you feel sorry for me. There’s many men out there who already have careers, they did something in their lives...I’m a nobody. Why would you still be attracted to me when you could be out there with someone else, someone that wasn’t stuck in a frozen capsule like a piece of meat for ten years.”

“Do you want to be with me?” Harry asked, “I love you so much, you have no idea how much I love you. I’m terrified that one day you’re going to realize you don’t want to be with an old man and you’re going to find someone your age. That one day you’re going to tell me you’re leaving me because I’m not what you want. I’m not the Harry that stayed behind anymore, that eighteen year old nobody.” He confessed.

“I would never do that. I don’t care what you look like or how old you are.” Louis closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and took a deep breath as he fiddled with the edge of the bedspread, “I let go of the eighteen year old Harry, of a newborn Blake. I let them go because they’re in the past and they should stay there. I didn’t get to watch you both get older, I didn’t get older with you two but there’s always time. I can do that now.”

“Then you should know I don’t care either. I would never leave you, but if one day– one day you decide I’m not what you want then I’ll let you go.” Harry looked down at his lap, “You are every man’s dream. You can easily have anyone you want.”

“Bu I don’t want them, I only want you.” Louis said, surprising Harry when he moved and straddled him.

“I only want you too, always.” Harry told him, and wrapped his arms around Louis’ small waist, “And you’re not a nobody, you can always go back to school. I’ll fully support you in whatever you want to do.”

“What are we?” Louis asked.

“What do you mean?” Harry gave him a confused look, letting Louis wrap his arms around his neck.

“Our relationship status.” Louis blushed, “Am I only your child’s father or...or your boyfriend? We were boyfriends then, but I’m not sure anymore. A lot of things have happened, a lot of things changed in ten years.” Louis looked down, only looking up when Harry gently grabbed his chin.

“This whole time I thought we were boyfriends, darling.” Harry blushed a deep shade of red. One could probably cook an egg on his face when it felt too hot and he felt like a teenager again.

“Really?” Louis couldn't help but smile.

Harry would do anything to see Louis smiling like that all the time. A smile showing all his teeth, a smile that would make those crinkles by his eyes appear every time. That genuine and happy smile that Harry loved so much.

“Really.” Harry brought him closer into a hug, “And one day, if you say yes, I want us to be husbands. But only if you want to be my husband.”

“I would love to to be your husband, I want you to be my husband.” Louis hid his face on the crook of Harry’s neck, feeling way too happy. He was going to burst out of happiness.

“I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I didn't want you anymore. I didn't want to pressure you into been intimate with me again, and I was giving you space.” Harry started rubbing his back.

“Did you ever…” Louis trailed off, unable to finish the question.

He squeezed his eyes shut when he heard Harry taking a deep breath. He told himself that if he had them he wasn't going to be angry at him. Sure, he would be hurt, but he promised himself he would do his best to be able to understand Harry. Almost ten years was a long time.

“I never slept with anybody else. I never wanted to and I couldn't do that to you.” Harry gently pushed him back, “I would’ve never forgive myself if I had.”

“It would've been okay.” Louis lied, “You have needs and ten years is a long time.”

“No, it wouldn't have and you know it.” Harry brushed Louis’ hair out of his forehead, “Please don't lie to me, baby.”

“It would have hurt me.” Louis confessed after a pause, “But I would have tried to understand.”

“You don't have to worry about that, love. It's been just me and my right hand all this time.” Harry joked, ignoring the fact that it was true.

“We're gonna have to keep your hand away from now on.” Louis said, smiling when Harry giggled.

“Whatever you want, love.” Harry sighed in content.

Louis felt the need to hug Harry again and did just that, he wrapped his arms around Harry's neck again and kissed the side of his neck. He smiled when Harry hugged him too as he ran his fingers through his hair.

The atmosphere was calm with the lamp giving off a soft yellow glow in their bedroom. The heater kept turning on and off and they felt comfortable in each other's hold. Harry started rubbing Louis’ back, stopping right at the bottom of his spine only to go back up. Louis kept feeling his hands at the bottom of his spine, wishing he would go lower until he couldn’t take it anymore.

He leaned back and when Harry looked at him, that’s when he grabbed him by the back of his head and kissed him. He tangled his fingers through Harry’s long hair, remembering how it used to be short. He liked it long, he was in love with it. He parted his lips and let Harry kiss him, his bigger hands roaming his lower back before they gripped his hips. It was just what they both had been waiting for all that time, it was what they needed.

They pulled apart and stared at each other, already panting when they had barely kissed. It wasn’t long before Harry was pulling Louis forward, kissing him almost like he used to kiss him all those years ago. But there was something different now. His kisses had been gentle and careful before, now they were twice as passionate and a little bit rougher. Louis’ heart started beating faster, feeling Harry’s own heart beating just as fast when he placed the palm of his dainty hand on his chest.

It quickly went from an innocent kiss to open mouth and wetter ones, trying to keep quiet when Louis started rolling his hips. They forgot about everything else, about who could hear them when all they could hear and feel was the other. Louis slowly slid his hand down Harry’s chest, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants. He thought about it while Harry trailed kisses down to the left side of his neck, making him shut his eyes in pleasure when he sucked on that spot he had forgotten was there.

He acted upon those thoughts when Harry slid his hands down his pajamas and cupped his ass. He moaned when Harry squeezed them, making him get closer to him, his half hard cock caught in between them while he could feel Harry already fully hard beneath him. Louis didn’t have to think about it anymore and pushed Harry to the side then on his back, quickly sliding his hand down his pants. He wrapped his hand around Harry’s cock and started stroking, getting encouraged by the sounds Harry was making.

He stroked him faster then stopped to sit back and take his shirt off, doing the same with his pajamas, leaving himself completely bare for Harry to see him. He wasn’t ashamed of his body, didn’t have a reason to when the man underneath him worshipped his body. When that was done, he reached to take Harry’s shirt off then his pants, settling with just lowering them down enough to free his cock.

The sight had him licking his lips, seeming to drive Harry crazy when the man pulled him towards him and kissed him again. Soon Louis found himself on top of Harry, straddling the man and his hands on his chest as he grinded against Harry. He couldn’t get enough air whenever he would feel the tip of Harry’s cock rubbing against his hole. Louis almost let out a scream but bit his bottom lip when Harry wrapped his hand around his cock and started stroking as he leaned down to kiss him.

He knew, he still knew when Harry was getting close when he started getting louder, having to put his hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. Louis kissed him and reached behind him to wrap his hand around Harry’s cock and stroke him. It wasn’t long before Harry was cumming, his loud moans muffled by Louis’ lips. He came soon after, leaning back to look at Harry when he was done. He furrowed his brow when he saw Harry had his eyes closed and wasn’t moving at all. His face had on a satisfied expression and if it wasn’t for the slow rise and fall of his chest, then Louis would have thought he was dead.

“Harry?” Louis shook him, starting to get worried when he realized he was passed out, “Harry, wake up!” He slapped his left arm.

“Hmm…” Harry mumbled, slowly opening his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Louis asked.

“Yeah…” Harry barely nodded.

He wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist and brought him down to hug him close, ignoring the mess between them. That’s when Louis noticed their stomachs and one of Harry’s hands were covered in cum. He waited for Harry to loosen up his hold and when he did, he got up to get a damp hand towel to clean him up. When he got back, Harry was still passed out and he wondered if he had broken him. He hoped he was alright by morning or they were going to be in trouble.

He went back to bed after pulling Harry’s pants up and he put his pajamas back on. He rested his head on Harry’s chest, a smile slowly starting to form on his lips when he realized what had happened. Harry, his Harry still wanted him. He still turned Harry on and it was the best feeling ever even though he felt bad for him. Almost ten years had been a long time, but the wait was finally over. He decided right there and then to bring their sex life back, to have an even better sx life than what they used to back then. That’s how they both fell asleep, feeling satisfied and wrapped in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> 1\. Photograph - Ed Sheeran
> 
> 2\. Secret Love Song - Little Mix ft Jason Derulo
> 
> 3\. Us Against The World - Coldplay
> 
> 4\. Make Merry - Amphibious Zoo Music
> 
> 5\. Gangsta - Kehlani


	18. Unforgettable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its not edited, please excuse any mistakes. Enjoy! :)

Louis had predicted it right before he fell asleep, and it had stayed deep in his thoughts. They were going to be late for the first time ever.

It all had started when they had slept through their alarm, only waking up when Harley had run into the room and started yapping at them so they could let him out. Harry had sat up right away, his eyes widening when he saw how late it was. He jogged downstairs with the dog in his arms to let him out, at the same time he was trying to get rid of his bed head. Louis had stayed upstairs trying to wake Blake up and get him to get ready. The shower could wait until after school. Again.

“C’mon Blake. Time to get up.” Louis gently shook him and when he didn’t wake up, he opened the blinds to let the light in.

“Five more minutes.” Blake yawned.

“Nope. Sorry, baby. You have to get up now, we’re already late.” Louis said, taking a step back when Blake sat up and looked around with wide eyes.

“We get to pick the topic for our projects today!” He exclaimed as he got out of bed and ran to his closet to look for something to wear.

Louis stared at his son as he changed into clean clothes then put on his shoes. He decided to go back to his bedroom and change to go see his mom when he was sure Blake was handling everything well. He found Harry in the bathroom, half dressed and brushing his teeth as fast as he could.

“Remind me to let the dog back in.” Harry told him right after he had spit out and rinsed his mouth.

“No good morning kiss?” Louis pouted, almost grinning when Harry paused what he was doing and turned to look at him.

Louis got closer to Harry and puckered up his lips, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck when the man finally kissed him. He wanted to keep kissing him, but Harry sadly pulled away, leaving one last kiss on his forehead.

“Papa, what do I eat!?” Blake ran into the bathroom with Harley in his arms.

“Just grab a granola bar and a banana.” Harry told him. “And milk!”

When all three of them were ready to go, they finally left the house and dropped Blake off at school only three minutes before he was officially late. Harry had only dropped Louis off at his father’s institution then drove to the hospital where he was already late, something that had never happened before. He smiled at everybody on his way to his office, feeling refreshed and like a brand new person. His first patient was a twenty year old female and he was ready to start the day.

Back in _Tomlinson’s Cryogenic Institute_ , Louis was already in his mother’s room, watching her as he held her hand. She looked better, some of her color was starting to come back and she wasn’t as pale as she had been. He grabbed her favorite book of poems and started reading to her. His father had told him it was good to do so, that it would motivate her to get better and stimulate her brain.

He was in the middle of reading _Hope Is The Thing With Feathers_ by _Emily Dickinson_ when he felt his mother’s hand moving. He stopped reading right away and stared at her, holding his breath when he saw her throat moving and her eyelids fluttering. He had prayed for that moment every night, and now that it might be happening, he was about to have a panic attack. He got up and fixed the oxygen mask then started running his fingers through her thin hair, never letting go of his hand. His blue eyes much like hers filled with tears when she opened them.

“Momma.” Louis mumbled,” It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re okay.” He repeated like a mantra,and started crying as soon as the tears rolled down her face.

His mother shouldn’t cry at all. She should always smile and be happy. Louis was going to make sure of that from now on.

“Lou…” She spoke. How had Louis missed her voice, feeling calm just by hearing it.

“I missed you.” Louis softly told her, lifting her hand up to kiss her on the knuckles while taking his phone out to text his dad.

Luckily, Blake always texted him and he had slowly learned how to send fast replies so it didn’t take him long to compose a text to send to his dad.

She looked around the room with sleepy eyes, sometimes closing them for a few seconds before she was opening them again. The sun was high in the sky and Louis let go of her hand to go and close the blinds so the light wouldn’t bother her. He went back to her and stood by his side, making sure she was comfortable.

“W–Where am I?” She slowly spoke, taking longer than usual then reached to try an take the oxygen mask off.

“You need that, mom.” Louis gently grabbed her hand and pulled it away, “You’re in the hospital. You’re okay now and soon we’re gonna go home. You and dad will be staying with us for a few weeks. I don’t think Harry will mind when I ask him, he’ll want to keep an eye on you.”

There was a big elephant in the room, they both knew it. Louis didn’t want to talk about their problems yet, didn’t want to face the fact that he had been cruel to his mother. He felt nothing but shame. He was smiling at her, running his fingers through her hair while she kept looking at him with nothing but amazement in her eyes. Her eyes soon filled with tears and she started crying, scaring Louis when he had never seen her cry like that. As if she was feeling completely helpless, despair emitting off of her like hot painful waves.

He couldn’t hold back his tears anymore and started crying, leaning down to hug his mother. To give her that one hug she had been waiting for for almost ten years. That hug Louis had craved all that time she had been gone. A sense of a strong oasis of serenity spread throughout their bodies the longer they hugged.

“I–I knew it.” Jay sobbed, “I kn–knew my time was up. It was all a dream. We–We left them. Oh God, we left them. Blake…”

Louis pulled away when she started having trouble breathing, when her face went from a deep red to light purple in a matter of seconds. He started panicking and pressed on the emergency button more than necessary, just as his father opened the door. Louis pulled away from her and let his father help her out. He walked backwards until he was standing on a corner of the room, watching a nurse run in with something in her hands. He found out it was a sedative when his mother finally stopped crying.

“Are you okay?”

Louis looked at his father when he heard his voice. He stared at him for a few seconds too long, trying to comprehend what his father had asked him. He set his gaze on Jay again wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms and keep her safe from everything that could hurt her. Had she felt that way towards him? And he had taken it all away when he had harshly rejected her.

“Marissa, could you please bring him a water bottle?” Mark asked, never taking his eyes off of Louis.

Louis cleared his throat. “Is she–Is she going to be okay?” Louis asked.

“She will. Everybody has a crisis like this when they first wake up.” Mark explained, “You had one, Jacob had one. Its normal. With time we’ve come to find out it's because the brain completely shuts down then is forced to wake up again. All the cryopreservatives we inject into the body to keep the low temperatures from damaging the organs play a big part too. Your mother will be fine, son.”

“She looked terrified. I hate to see her like that.” Louis finally had the courage to get closer to her again.

“Hopefully she’ll be better when she wakes up again. She should wake up in a few hours, we didn’t give her enough sedatives to knock her out for the rest of the day and the whole night.”

Louis watched the way his father looked at his mother. The way his eyes shined with unshed tears as he ran his fingers through her hair. He heard him whisper a “I missed you.” to her before he leaned down and kissed the left side of her head.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to ask Harry if you can stay with us as long as it takes her to get better. I want to spend all my time with her.” Louis told him.

“That’s okay with me, and I’m sure Jay won’t mind spending time with you and Blake. She missed him a lot.” Mark said, biting on his bottom lip when Louis looked down.

“I’m going to make it up to her.” Louis sniffled, “I was a jerk to her when she did nothing but try to take care of me and love me.”

“I can assure she’ll tell you she has nothing to forgive you for. She’ll just want to be with you all the time.” He smiled a little.

“I want that too.” Louis smiled, finally taking her mother’s hand in his.

“We’re going to unfreeze someone today. Will you be okay staying here alone with her?” Mark asked.

“Of course, don’t worry about us. I won’t let anything bad happen to her.” Louis assured him.

“I’ll come back later.” Mark hugged Louis, smiling when Louis didn’t push him away. “Make sure you eat!”

Louis was once again alone with his mother then grabbed the book of poems to finish reading it to her. When he was done, he sent a text to everybody except Blake to let them know his mother was awake. He wanted to tell his son in person, knowing Blake had been anxiously waiting for her to wake up again. Zayn, Liam and Niall all promised to visit once she was back home, knowing how overwhelming it could get. He ended up taking a nap when the lack of sleep from the night before started getting to him.

As he fell asleep, he started planning what they were going to do on Christmas. He smiled when he remembered the blanket forts he and Harry used to build, deciding that they were going to decorate the house then build the biggest blanket fort ever. They were going to have the biggest christmas tree, not natural because Harry had told him Blake always got allergies because of it. He was going to make sure his baby had the best christmas ever. And he was hoping to give him at least one more sibling in the next five to seven years.

While asleep, he started dreaming. It wasn’t the kind of dream a person would usually dream. It was the so called “life flashing before your eyes” that had him shifting around restlessly on the couch. He hadn’t had those dreams in a long time, ever since he had gone home with Harry and their son. He woke up with a start when his mother’s death played over and over in his head, leaving him breathless and frightened

He looked around for her in the semi dark room, finding her still sleeping in her bed. He got up and went to the bathroom to relieve himself and wash away any signs of sleepiness. When he was done, he checked his phone, finding a missed call from Harry and many texts. Some from Blake, making him realize he had gotten out of school an hour ago. He opted for calling Harry first, wanting to know if he was going to come over and if he was going to bring Blake or leave him with Anne.

“Mom woke up.” Louis told him as soon as Harry answered.

“How is she doing? How are you?” Harry asked, having heard the the way Louis sounded already so overwhelmed.

“She freaked out, but dad said she’s okay. He had to sedate her.” Louis informed him, “Did you pick Blake up?”

“My mom did, and I’m going to pick him up later today.” He said.

“Are you coming here?”

“I’m actually on my way. If she’s okay enough to go home then Mark will take her home. I don’t see the point of keeping her there longer than necessary if she’s doing better. It would be depressing for her.” Harry explained.

“Can she come home with us?” Louis asked him hoping for a yes, “At least for a week or so. I want to spend time with her, take care of her. Please.”

“Babe, you don’t have to ask me. She’s welcome there as long as she wants. Listen, I have to go but I’ll be there in an hour or so.” Harry told him then hung up when Louis said his goodbyes.

He went back to sit next to his mother, stopping in his tracks when he noticed she was awake and looking around with tired droopy eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat when she finally looked at him. He was expecting her to look away and make him go away, he deserved it after all. Instead, she tried to lift up her arm and reach for him as she mumbled his name. He was fast to go to her and wrap his arms around her frail body.

It was like a breath of fresh air when she hugged him as tight as she could and he did the same thing. After ten years, Jay had her baby in her arms again and he was there to stay.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Louis started crying, looking at her with the bluest eyes when she pushed him away to look at her.

“I–I’m sorry I co–couldn’t protect you, I didn’t let you be ha–happy.” Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke.

“That’s in the past, okay. We’re all going to move on and be happy. Dad and I made up and I was waiting for you to wake up. I thought I lost you a–and I didn’t want to.” Louis blabbered. He had a lot of things to say but couldn’t gather his thoughts enough to organize them and be as clear as he could.

“They brought me back.” Jay stated, looking up at the ceiling.

“I begged him to. He–He didn’t want to, he said he promised you he wouldn’t do it.”

“I can feel it...it’s not the same.” Jay told him, “It feels like there’s a big part missing.”

“It’s not the same, I know it will never be the same.” Louis held her hand, “But we can move on. Blake misses you, we all do.”

“I want to see him and Mark.”

“You’re coming home with me, okay. Harry says it’s okay, and I want to spend time with you. Only if you want to.”

“As long as I’m with you.” Jay agreed, closing her eyes to rest them, but never letting go of Louis’ hand.

He felt her son’s fingers running through her hair, and seconds later felt him laying down next to her. She rested her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her. They spent a few minutes there until the door was opening and Mark and Harry slowly made their way in. Louis looked at them then down at her mother who was now asleep again, probably feeling exhausted just like he had felt.

“How is she doing?” Mark asked.

“Much better. She agreed to come home with me.” Louis said, holding his mother closer.

“Are you feeling okay?” Harry asked him, nodding when Louis did.

He was fast to check on Jay, having to see Louis’ disappointed expression when he told her she had to spend another night there. She still needed the oxygen and was too weak to take her out into the cold. Louis finally understood that it was for her own good and agreed to go home since Mark was going to stay with her. He kissed her on the forehead before he and Harry left, stopping at Anne’s to pick Blake up. When they got home Blake went straight to take a shower while Harry and Louis cooked dinner together.

“I don’t like cauliflower.” Blake made a face of disgust at his dinner as soon as he had seen what they were going to have.

“It’s good for you and that’s all there is for dinner.” Harry raised a brow.

“I’m not eating it.” Blake pushed it to the side of his plate and far away from the other food with his fork.

“Blake...” Harry sighed, “I’m really not in the mood to be arguing with you so eat it. “You’re not getting up until you do.”

“But its gross.” Blake continued arguing.

“Don’t eat it then, but I don’t want to see you here eating junk food later tonight.” Louis spoke up.

Blake looked at Harry and Harry looked at Louis then shared a look. Up until then, Louis had been easy going, letting Blake get away with almost anything. But Harry guessed that those days were over and he was pleased to know that. Blake let out a loud sigh and stabbed the cauliflower with his fork then ate it, he had on a disgusted expression as he chewed and swallowed. He did that until he finished all of it then started eating the rest of his food, glad that he was done with the cauliflower.

“Do you have homework?” Louis asked him.

“Nana helped me do it. Can I watch tv before going to bed?” Blake looked at them with a hopeful look.

“Okay, but nothing inappropriate.” Harry told him.

“Forensic shows are not inappropriate. Uncle Liam says I have to see a dead person if I’m going to be a doctor.” Blake told him as if his father was completely wrong.

“Ooh, you didn’t tell us about this.” Louis leaned closer.

“I decided this morning, dad. I want to bring dead people back too.” Blake told him.

“That’s…” Louis frowned then forced a smile when Blake looked at him, “That’s great!”

“Well you can watch those shows when you get a bit older.” Harry told him, leaving no space for argument.

“Fine. I’m gonna watch cartoons.” Blake sighed.

He got up and picked his plate up, going to the sink to rinse it off before putting it in the dishwasher. When he was done he made his way to the couch in the living room and turned the tv on to cartoon network, letting Harley climb on his lap only to fall asleep seconds later. While he watched cartoons, Louis and Harry cleaned up as fast as they could then rushed upstairs to take a shower.

Harry had barely locked the door when Louis was already on him kissing him. It was like he could never get enough of Harry when he had him in front of him. There was something about Harry now, something that drove him crazy. Maybe it was the fact that he was older, and that turned Louis on. He didn’t know if he should tell Harry or keep it to himself. He chose the latter when Harry pinned him against the wall, lifting him up by his thighs so Louis could wrap his legs around his waist. Now that they had gotten a taste the night before of what it was like, they couldn’t stop now.

“Wh–” Louis moaned as soon as Harry started kissing down his neck, “Why don’t you fuck me?” He asked, wondering if he had done something wrong when Harry froze and pulled back to look at him.

“You want to?” He asked him.

“I do.” Louis nodded. He knew he looked desperate to spread his legs open for Harry, but he didn’t care when he was about to get what he wanted.

Harry gave him a big kiss on the lips then pulled back, “I think I ran out of lube.” He told him, feeling somehow embarrassed.

“Who cares.” Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, “Please.” Louis whimpered, making sure to grind against Harry.

That was it for Harry when he kissed him again. Louis let him take him somewhere else, finding out it was their bedroom when Harry put him on the bed then went to lock the door. Louis’ eyes darkened when Harry started taking his clothes off on his way to him, almost as if he was giving him a show. Louis palmed himself then unbuttoned his jeans and took them off along with his boxers. He had no shame when he wrapped his hand around himself and started stroking, slow and careful.

By the time Harry made it to the bed, he was already naked and hard but walked past Louis to his side of the bed. Louis stopped his movements to look at Harry, to watch him rummage through his too perfectly organized drawer. He saw the way his face lit up, knowing why when he saw the still sealed bottle in his hands. Harry didn’t waste time at all to open it and pour some on his fingers as he made his way to Louis.

Louis sat up on his knees and wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed him. Harry traced his bottom lip with his tongue, using one hand to pull him closer by the waist to his naked body. That’s how he let Harry finger him until he was bouncing up and down on them, that’s how Harry felt what it was like to feel Louis like that again after a long time. Nothing had changed at all for the both of them. Louis’ hand wrapped around his cock had always felt like heaven, now it felt like he was on fire. He wanted, he needed to be inside of him.

He took the three fingers out of Louis and wiped them off on the bedspread, forgetting how much of a clean freak he was. He didn’t care anymore. He forgot to be gentle with Louis when he made him lay down then grabbed his hips and pulled him forward so his ass was at the edge of the bed.

“Harry!” Louis whined, fisting the sheets when Harry wasn’t doing anything and he was beyond turned on.

Louis was dying and he was starting to get frustrated, “Either you put it in now or I’ll just fuck myself.” He threatened.

Harry just wanted to make their first time together again unforgettable, and now he was sure it was something they would never forget. He slowly started sliding his cock in, leaning down to kiss him and murmur how much he loved him. He felt good every time Louis would tell him he loved him too, he never got tired of hearing it. He loved the way Louis arched his back and clung to him as he slowly entered him until he was fully in him.

He didn’t waste time and started going in and out of him, making sure his lips never left Louis’. His thrusts became erratic when it had been ten years without Louis– his Louis.

Louis wrapped his legs around Harry, bringing him closer to him. Harry buried his face on his neck, taking in his scent while he couldn’t help himself and lightly bit his shoulder to keep quiet. The more Harry hit his spot, the harder it was getting to keep himself from screaming.

That’s how he came, completely untouched and too fast. He laid on the bed, letting Harry fuck him a little rough. He whined when Harry pulled out and continued stroking himself until he was cumming all over Louis, letting out a loud moan that had Louis scrambling up to cover his mouth.

He let Harry fall on top of him, panting and trying to catch his breath. They were quiet as they listened to any sound, blushing madly when they heard the tv all the way upstairs, knowing Blake had turned the volume up as loud as it would go.

“He heard us.” Louis whispered. They had probably traumatized their child for life.

“He’s fine.” Harry told him.

“We need to shower.” Louis kissed the top of Harry’s head.

Harry lifted his head up and kissed him over and over again. When he was satisfied, he picked Louis up and took him to the bathroom where he made sure the water was hot. He made sure he was gentle with Louis as he helped him clean himself. When they were done, they got dressed and went downstairs where Blake was already asleep with Harley next to him.

The tv was still on to a forensic show and Harry shook his head, deciding to let it go when he saw it wasn’t actually showing dead bodies. Harry picked him up and walked upstairs to his room, trying to ignore the way Louis was waddling when he rushed to fix the covers on Blake’s bed. They kissed him goodnight and left the room, leaving Harley sleeping at the foot of his bed.

When their heads hit the pillows, they fell asleep right away wrapped in each other's arms, completely happy and satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
> 
> I apologize for the shitty smut.


	19. It'll be Alright

The week went by faster than they thought. Jay was yet to come home after she had caught the flu and was unable to come home. Louis had been worried out of his mind, going as far as getting sick himself because of the stress. That had caused Blake to have a major freak out and sleep next to Louis for the whole week and refusing to leave his side no matter what. She was responding well to treatment and was getting better, something that had made Louis feel better, enough to enjoy his first halloween with Blake.

They were in the family room by the kitchen, watching _A Nightmare Before Christmas_ while they waited for Harry to come home. Blake’s costume was already on his bed, ready for him to put it on and go trick or treating. They were eating popcorn and watching Sally singing on screen when Louis’ phone went off. It scared the hell out of them, making Blake drop the bowl of popcorn on the rug.

“Pick them up, baby.” Louis told him before he answered. He spoke for a few minutes then hung up and looked at Blake.

“It was papa, he wants us to get ready. Jacob’s parents will be here in a bit.” He told him.

“Can I shower first?” Blake asked.

“I think we should wait until after we come back. It’s cold outside and I don’t want you to get sick.” Louis wrapped his arms around Blake, kissing the side of his head before he let him go so he could change.

Louis got up soon after and was putting away all the dishes after he had left the dishwasher open so they could cool off when he heard the garage door. He looked out the window and saw a black car slowing down in front of his house. Harry walked in seconds later and Louis smiled, leaving the glass on the countertop to run to Harry and kiss him. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and Harry around Louis’ waist as they kissed. They had to let go when there was a knock on their front door and Blake was shouting that he got it.

He was always faster than his parents, and when they finally made it there, their son was already shaking hands with them. He already had on his costume, but the wig was badly put on and he was still barefooted. Louis and Harry wanted to laugh when Blake told them to come in, taking their coats and hanging them on the coat rack.

“I’m glad you could make it.” Harry shook hands with the adults, and waved at Jacob.

“Thank you for inviting us.” Max told him, placing his hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Jacob’s really excited.” Angie said.

“I’m really excited too!” Blake stood in front of Jacob, wanting to make him feel comfortable. “And we match too, I think our costumes are the best. Do you want to come watch a movie with me?” He asked, not giving Jacob time to answer when he was already pulling him to the living room.

“Your son is a sweetheart.” Angie told Louis and Harry.

“He’s been waiting all this week to meet him.” Louis said, turning to look at his son who was showing Harley to Jacob. The dog was dressed up as a lion, a costume Blake had picked out for him.

“How are we going to do this?” Max asked. “Do we all ride in one car?”

“I think mine.” Harry suggested. “It's bigger, but first I think they should go trick or treating around the neighborhood. Who knows, they might fully fill their bags here.”

“That sounds good.” Max nodded.

“Blake still needs his shoes.” Louis said as he looked around for them.

He excused himself to run upstairs to get socks and the black boots they had gotten Blake for his costume. When he walked in he shook his head at the mess his son had in his bedroom and instead of getting what he was supposed to, he started picking up. He made sure to leave his books there when he already knew his son hated when they moved them. He already had a system going on when it came to things on his desk.

When he was done, he grabbed what he needed and ran back downstairs where he found them in the kitchen. Harry was fixing Blake’s wig as he and Jacob ate the caramel popcorn he had made earlier that day. He gave the shoes to Blake and let him put them on himself. It wasn’t long before they were out the door and on the street where they let the kids go to the very first house. They all smiled when they heard them trick or treating, seeing the way Jacob was already comfortable with Blake.

“This is the first time he gets out of the house.” Angie said. “He’s been so afraid. He saw one of his friends and didn’t take it too well. He cried all day.” She said as her eyes filled with tears and her voice trembled.

“We’ve been neighbors for a long time.” Max clarified when he saw the confused expressions on both Louis’ and Harry’s faces. “We think that maybe we should move. Start over somewhere else, but right now we’re not sure what we want to do.”

“I’m just glad he’s having fun.” Angie smiled when he saw her son already heading to the next house with Blake, both kids racing there.

“I am a hundred percent sure he already has a friend on Blake.” Louis told her.

“How about we go out to eat after they’re done?” Harry suggested. “I’m inviting and I insist.”

When they finally agreed, they walked from house to house after the kids until their bags were full and they were complaining about their feet hurting already. Harry drove them to a restaurant where as soon as the hostess showed them to their table, Blake and Jacob were quick to sit next to each other. By the end of their meal, they drove back home where Max and Angie promised to bring Jacob sometime soon. That night after taking a shower, Blake went back to sleep in his own bedroom after the long week where nobody could get him out of his parents bedroom.

“I’m exhausted.” Harry yawned, already laying down in bed. “Thank god tomorrow is sunday.”

“I want to go see my mom tomorrow.” Louis told him as he rubbed lotion all over his legs after he had showered.

“We can go tomorrow after breakfast, we just have to drop Blake off with my mom.” Harry answered without opening his eyes.

“I want him to go too. I think it’s time he knows she’s okay and is going to come here for a few weeks.” Louis turned to look at Harry, already begging with his eyes and pouty lips, but made a face when he saw Harry didn’t even have his eyes open.

“Whatever you want, babe.” Harry smiled, then covered his mouth with his hand when he yawned again. He was completely exhausted.

“You’re too good to be true.” Louis smiled as he put the lotion away, then turned around and crawled towards Harry. “I think you deserve a prize.”

“What kind of prize?” Harry was suddenly fully awake and no longer exhausted. His eyes wide open.

He placed his hands on Louis’ hips as soon as his love was straddling him, his whole body weight resting on him. His question was answered as soon as Louis started rolling his hips, a wave of pleasure forming in between his legs. That’s how it always was. He would get turned on way too fast and cum even faster, enough for him to feel embarrassed. But when Louis had told him he felt so special, loved and that he was still wanted, Harry had stop feeling embarrassed. After years of having no sex at all, he knew it was normal and that soon he would get used to it. He would last longer.

Louis stifled a giggle when Harry turned them around and he found himself on his back and Harry in between his legs. He loved that now Harry couldn’t get enough of him and always wanted to be kissing and touching him. He just hoped Blake stayed in his bedroom after the last time when he had cockblocked them all week long. But he couldn’t blame his child when he had gotten sick and his baby worried about him.

Louis kissed Harry and wrapped his arms around him, holding him as close as he could. Harry lifted Louis’ shirt and ran his hand over the warm skin of his stomach and his side. After that it was all a blur for Louis when he found himself flat on his stomach and Harry’s hands gripping his hips to keep them up and still as he pounded into him. Louis didn’t like whenever Harry would pull out every time he came and had even told him it, but Harry kept doing it.

He buried his face on the pillow and started thinking of the many times they had had sex before years ago and how they had always used condoms. He definitely wanted a baby, but wasn’t sure if his body could handle it after everything. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Harry thrusted into him one more time before pulling out and cumming all over Louis’ lower back. It wasn’t long before Louis felt Harry’s fingers in him, moving in and out until Louis came all over the sheets.

Louis slowly lifted his head up, seeing the pillow wet with his saliva, quickly turning it around so Harry wouldn’t see how fucked out he was. A right mess.

That didn’t stop them when they went at it almost all night, in every position they could think of. That didn’t stop Louis from finally getting to have his pretty pink lips wrapped around Harry’s cock while they showered. The last time before they fell asleep, Louis had ridden Harry until they were cumming, getting slightly annoyed when Harry pulled him up so he wouldn’t cum in him.

Harry was definitely regretting the part about having stayed up late when his phone went off at six am, just two hours after he and Louis had gone to sleep. He wanted to ignore it, but knew it was an emergency when he recognized the ringtone he had selected specifically for those types of calls and text messages. He had Louis sleeping almost on top of him and could barely move as he tried to reach for the phone. When he finally did, his eyes widened when he saw the message.

“Turn it off.” Louis mumbled, already getting annoyed when the noise was too close to his ear.

“I have to get up. There’s an emergency at the hospital.” Harry rubbed his back, then tried to get up.

Harry was grateful when Louis moved and he was allowed to get up. Louis only got comfortable on Harry’s old spot and continued sleeping. Before leaving, Harry made sure to put sweatpants on Louis when they had been sleeping completely naked then checked on Blake to make sure he was doing okay. It was still too dark outside when he left, thanking whoever was up there that he had been able to fully wake up.

When Louis opened his eyes, it was to the fire alarm blaring loudly downstairs in the kitchen. He could smell something burning and quickly got up and ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. He found Blake standing on top of a chair and trying to reach the smoke alarm with a broom when nothing was on fire and it was too loud. He jumped off the chair and let Louis grab it, taking out the batteries as soon as the damn thing was in his hands.

“What’s burning?!” He asked as he looked around.

He found the source of the smoke on top of the stove on a skillet where the pancakes were already nothing but black matter and smoke. Louis remembered how his mom would always put it in water and that’s exactly what he did.

“I was trying to make pancakes, but Harley wanted to go outside and when I came back there was smoke everywhere.” Blake explained.

“Where’s papa?” Louis was rubbing his eyes, still a bit sleepy, and looking around for the time. “It’s too early.” He muttered.

“It’s nine am.” Blake told him.

“Too early for a sunday morning.” He said as he yawned and his eyes were closing without his permission.

“I’m hungry.” Blake told his father, expecting him to make him something to eat. “There’s no cereal.”

“Um…” Louis looked around the kitchen, finding some milk and pancake mix spilled on the counter. “There’s nothing to eat.” He finally came to that conclusion when he was too lazy and sleepy to cook.

“I’m calling papa.” Blake decided when Louis was still looking around the kitchen wearing nothing but sweatpants, noticing a few bruises on his neck and chest. “Why do you have so many bruises!?” He asked, dropping his phone on the table when his call went to voicemail.

“These uh...I don’t know.” He lied.

Louis and Blake had a staring contests until they heard Louis’ phone going off upstairs. Louis used that time to escape and run upstairs, noticing Blake following him. He didn’t get there on time, but picked up the phone anyway and saw it had been Harry the one who had called him. While he waited for him to answer, he went to the closet and looked for a shirt to hide all the hickeys Harry had left on him. When Harry didn’t answer, he tried again, having noticed Blake was already on his bed trying to go back to sleep.

“Hey. Thought you were still asleep.” Harry answered. “I tried to call Blake back. Is he okay?”

“Hey. He’s fine, burned the pancakes he was making but he’s okay.” Louis chuckled. “Where are you?”

“You let him cook on his own?” Harry asked instead of answering his question. “Did you make sure he turned the stove off? Louis, he’s not supposed to use it on his own.”

Louis’ eyes widened when Harry’s voice raised, having no idea why he was getting all worked up.

“Calm down, he’s okay. He’s old enough to use it, he’s not stupid.” Louis said.

“I know he’s not stupid, he’s just not supposed to use it on his own without adult supervision. He could have burned himself or set something on fire. It's a gas stove, Louis!”

“But he didn’t!” Louis yelled as he slammed the closet door shut. “You treat him like a baby and I think you shouldn’t do that. He’s nine years old for god’s sake! He’s too sheltered and I don’t like it.”

“I don’t treat him like a baby.” Harry calmly said.

“Yes you do.” Louis argued, and wanted to keep arguing but stopped when he heard his son knocking on the door. “Are you coming home soon?” Louis wondered, trying to change the subject when he didn’t want his child to hear his parents arguing.

“In two more hours or so. I’m waiting to see how the patient does, she had to have emergency surgery.” Harry explained.

“Okay…” Louis softly said as he fiddled with the sleeve of one of Harry’s shirt, smiling at Blake when he saw him standing by the door.

“I think Zayn’s going to call you to invite you and Blake for breakfast. Liam’s here too, the child we operated on is only two.” Harry sighed.

Louis felt an ache on his chest and his eyes burned with tears. “Is she doing okay?” He asked.

“The surgery was a success, we’re just keeping an eye on her just in case she has any complications.” Harry answered.

“Okay. I’ll let you go now. I love you.” Louis told him.

“I love you too.” Harry said before he hung up.

Louis pulled the phone away from his ear and loudly sighed. He grabbed a random shirt and put it on, making sure it was covering all his hickeys. It wasn’t long before he got a text from Zayn to which he quickly replied with a yes.

“We’re gonna go out to eat with Zayn and we have to get ready.” Louis told Blake.

Blake nodded and left the room to go change. Zayn got there fifteen minutes later, telling Louis that he was outside waiting for them. When Louis got in the car, he smiled at Zayn then down at his belly that was bigger than the last time he had seen it.

“Good morning!” Zayn greeted them as he started driving. “Where do you guys want to go?” He asked.

“The diner!” Blake shouted, making them wince.

“Blake, please don’t shout.” Louis told him, seeing Zayn smiling at him.

“We can go to the diner.” Zayn nodded. “That way Lou can see it. It’s a diner we found a while back and we’ve been going there ever since. You’ll love it.” He told Louis.

“I would love to go.” Louis smiled. “How have you and the baby been?” He asked.

“Good, but I want her out. I still have three more months but I feel like I’m gonna explode, my back and feet hurt all the time too.” Zayn complained.

“Wait till you have to pee every three minutes.” Louis chuckled when Zayn’s eyes widened.

The ride to the diner was spent with Blake telling Zayn about his halloween night and the new friend he had made. When they got there, Louis waited for Zayn to get out of the car, not wanting him to get hurt then walked together into the diner.

“How’s Jay doing? When is she coming home?” Zayn asked him now that Blake was busy playing a game on his phone.

“She’s good now, I think she’s coming home today or tomorrow.” Louis smiled. “But let's talk about you, there’s so much we need to talk about.”

“Like what?” Zayn asked, not really knowing where to start.

“Everything!” Louis exclaimed. “When did you change your mind about being a teacher?” He asked.

“I don’t remember well when, but one day it hit me. I didn’t want to be a teacher anymore and I went for architecture. I made the right decision because now it’s my passion. Liam and I went our separate ways around that time so it was a bit hard but I made it that first year. We got back a year later and everything worked out perfectly. There were a lot of up and downs but here we are.” Zayn said, looking up when a waitress approached them, and after ordering their drinks, he looked at Louis again.

“You guys broke up?” Louis raised his brows, unable to believe it.

“I don’t know, I needed time to myself.” Zayn looked down at the table.

“I’m sorry.” Louis swallowed thickly.

“Don’t blame yourself, Lou.” Zayn told him. “I just didn’t know how to handle my emotions and losing you was just...it was heartbreaking for me.”

“But you got better, right?” Louis wanted to know.

“I did, and now you’re back and I’m about to have a baby and everybody’s happy. Everything is okay now.” Zayn assured him. “And how about you? Have you been doing well?”

“Some things still scare me to be honest, but I’m doing well. It feels strange that everybody got older and I’m still eighteen. It’s like I got ahold of a time machine and travelled to the future. When I was sixteen I thought there would be time machines by now and flying cars and instead we got the iPhone. I’ve never seen a phone as big as a six plus.” Louis said, making Zayn and Blake laugh.

“I would stick to my Nokia but an iPhone is necessary for work. And you have to admit iPhones are really great.” Zayn said as he passed his own phone back and forth between his hands.

“I have a lot to learn. Good thing I have Blake.” Louis looked at his son who was busy looking at the menu.

“You didn’t need a lot of help.” Blake put the menu down and scooted closer to his father, letting him put an arm around his smaller shoulders.

Zayn watched with a smile on his face the way Louis and Blake interacted with each other. Despite Louis’ and Blake’s age, Louis was a parent to him. They were approached by the same waitress who took their orders and soon she was coming back with their food. They talked about random things, and when they were done, Zayn drove to his house to show Louis around. Louis had been so focused on Harry, Blake and his mother that he hadn’t had time to visit Zayn.

Zayn showed him the baby’s nursery, gushing about how Blake had helped him buy clothes for his daughter. He then showed Louis all of the albums full of pictures he had taken over the years, letting Louis take one of him and Liam holding a three year old Blake.

“I think it was his birthday when we took that picture.” Zayn commented.

“Yeah, he looks like he was three years old.” Louis said so sure of himself, looking up when he felt someone was watching him, finding Zayn looking at him. “I’ve watched those videos so many times, and seen all of the pictures. It's like I can point out how old he was in every one of them.” Louis explained as he went through the pictures.

“That’s amazing.” Zayn commented.

He gasped when he saw a picture of his mother holding a one year old Blake. The woman had him on his back on her lap and seemed to be tickling him when Blake was laughing. He looked at Zayn and smiled when Zayn took it out and gave it to him.

“It was his birthday. She made him laugh so hard.” Zayn chuckled, allowing Blake to look at the picture.

“When’s grandma coming home?” Blake asked his father.

“Soon, baby.” Louis ran his fingers through his hair before he continued looking at the pictures.

“Thank you for helping Harry out.” Louis said out of nowhere, making Zayn tear up.

“You don’t have to thank me. And remember that we’ll always be here to help you out too, whenever you need something.” Zayn said. “How about we go and get some chocolate milk, I’m really craving it.”

Louis nodded and got up with the album still in his arms when he wasn’t done looking at the pictures. That afternoon when he got home, he found Harry asleep in their bed. He was wearing nothing but his boxers and he looked completely exhausted. Louis covered him with the bedspread and made sure to close the blinds and the curtains so the light wouldn’t get in at all. He closed the door and made his way to the game room where Blake was watching Total Drama.

They ended up playing video games a few hours later and Louis was grateful his child was being very patient with him when he didn’t know how the Xbox worked. In the end he just started pressing random buttons as fast as he could and hoped for the best. They ended up ordering pizza after Louis had taken Harry’s card, knowing he wasn’t going to mind at all.

“Are you sure papa is okay with it? Did you ask him?” Blake asked as he waited for the what he had told Louis was called an iMac to load the website for the pizza place.

“I don’t have to ask him.” Louis said. “We’re hungry and we have to eat. But only I can do this, you have to ask first.” Louis quickly clarified so Blake wouldn’t start getting any ideas.

He let Blake go to the Domino’s website and as soon as it had loaded, he made Blake give him some space on the chair in front of the desk. He ordered enough food for the three of them, drinks included a well as dessert, then paid for everything. He had hesitated when he saw how much he had to pay, but one look at Blake had him finalizing his order. He had always been a spender after all. The saver in their family was Harry.

While they waited, they played with Harley and even attempted to give him a bath but the dog was faster and the only one that could get him in the bathtub was Harry. They had made a mess, splashing water everywhere but it had been fun. They had been too loud that Louis made sure to check on Harry to make sure he was doing okay when Harry never slept during the day. He had been able to find extra money for the tip then sat down in the living room to wait. They were watching tv when Blake gasped.

“What is it?” Louis asked concerned as he sucked on a laffy taffy.

“I have to do a book report for tomorrow.” Blake said, eyes wide.

“About what book?” Louis asked. His head was already starting to hurt.

“About whatever book I want.” Blake answered.

“Well go get your book and get started. I’ll wait for the pizza guy right here.” Louis made himself comfortable on the couch, watching Blake get up to get his things. “Make sure you don’t wake papa up.” He warned.

“I know.” Blake sighed, already knowing he sometimes had to be quiet because his father needed to get as much sleep as he could.

He grabbed _The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe_ and the worksheet and a pencil. He made his way downstairs hearing the doorbell just as Harry opened the door and walked out. He was still in only his boxers, his hair was a mess and looked extremely sleepy. Blake narrowed his eyes when he saw bruises on his chest and neck, but said nothing.

“Who is it?” He asked, phone in his hand.

“Pizza guy.” Blake told him without stopping.

Harry followed him downstairs, hearing Louis thanking the guy before he saw him closing and locking the door. He looked at the pizza box and the many other things Louis had on a bag and followed them to the kitchen. Louis put the stuff down on the kitchen island then turned to look at Harry with a big smile on his face.

“Babe!” Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck and gave him a quick kiss. “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah.” Harry covered his mouth with his hand when he yawned, letting Louis grab paper plates and three glasses for the drinks.

Harry wordlessly took his card back when Louis gave it to him, not even asking how much Louis had spent. He didn’t care as long as Louis was being responsible. He wrinkled his nose when Harley walked by and smelled like wet dog.

“He needs a bath.” He said as he grabbed a slice of pizza.

“We tried to give him one but he got out of the bathtub, made a mess.” Louis shrugged.

“I’ll give him one when I’m done.” Harry said, seeing Blake walking to the glass door to let the dog out. “I have to tell you your mom is coming home tonight. Mark called me and said she’s doing better so we have to tell Blake.”

Louis’ whole face brightened up, unable to wait for his mom to get there. It was his chance of spending all his time with her and he was excited. When Blake came back he was told about the great news and like Louis, he couldn’t wait to have her home. Later that night after Harry had given the dog a bath and Blake had finished his homework, Jay finally got there. She was in a wheelchair and couldn’t move her left arm that well, but they were told that with therapy, se would be as good as new. Louis had hugged her the longest, not wanting to let go anytime soon when he had missed her so much.

“Look how big you’ve gotten, darling.” Jay told Blake when she hugged her grandchild. “I missed you, baby.”

“I missed you too, grandma.” Blake told her, his voice muffled by the fabric of her sweater.

“The room is ready.” Louis told them. “Do you want something to eat?” He asked them, getting ready to cook whatever they asked for.

“We already ate, love, but thank you.” Jay held her hand out so Louis could take it, smiling when Louis did.

Louis bent down to wrap his arms around her shoulders and kiss her cheek, feeling his mother grabbing his hand and kiss the top of it.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Louis quietly said now that Mark and Harry were listening to Blake’s story. “Don’t leave me again, mommy.”

“I’m not going anywhere, darling. I’m here to stay, I promise.” Jay hugged her son as tight as she could. “As long as you need me.”

“I’ll always need you.” Louis started running his fingers through her long hair.

His mom started rubbing his back and Louis wanted to cry when it had been a long time since she had done that. He let go of her and wheeled her to the living room where Mark helped her onto the couch. Louis took a seat next to her and Blake on her other side, showing her how big Harley had gotten. The dog paid her attention before he went to lay down next to Louis, putting his head on his lap and falling asleep. Louis didn’t move at all when Harley looked so comfortable, so he stayed on his spot until the dog finally woke up and moved to go to sleep on his bed.

When they went to bed, Louis slept like a baby, unable to wait for the next day so he could spend more time with his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	20. Untitled

Jay had been home for already three weeks, spending all her time with Louis and Blake when Louis finally got his driver’s license. For Louis it had been as if he had gotten it for the first time, letting his son look at it as long as he wanted. He drove Harry’s car on the way back home when he didn’t have one yet, but the older man had promised him to take him that weekend so he could pick the one he wanted. Louis had refused to let him buy him a car, but ended up giving up when Harry had insisted then was told the man himself would pick an ugly one for him.

When they made it back home, Louis parked the car right next to his father’s when he had stayed home with his mother. Jay’s car was in the garage when she had insisted on having it there in case of an emergency. He happily got out and ignored the next door neighbor that always glared at him ever since Harley had pooped on her front yard. Louis rolled his eyes at the young woman and grabbed Harry’s hand to go inside through the garage. He didn’t know what her problem was when he had picked it up and had even apologized.

“Let me see!” Jay said as soon as they had walked through the door. She was sitting on the couch while Mark was making lunch for all of them before he and Harry had to go back to work.

Louis ran to her and plopped down next to her, taking his driver’s license out of his wallet to show his mother. Blake was soon next to her, trying to look at the ID again.

“Look at my handsome boy!” Jay gushed.

“I made them retake it because I closed my eyes.” Louis told her, still sure that he had closed them even though the lady had told him it was good enough.

“You did.” Blake giggled when he had been behind the woman taking them.

“See! I was right to ask her to take it again.” Louis rolled his eyes. “Now I can take you both wherever you want.”

Jay gave him a smile as she handed it back to him, then watched him put it in his wallet. Louis helped her to the kitchen island, where he helped her sit down on one of the stools so she could eat. Louis and Mark had been taking her to therapy while Harry was at work and Blake in school. She was able to move her arm a little bit, and Louis couldn’t stop telling her she was doing amazing, as well as helping her do more exercises at home.

They had spent all of their time together. They would sit in the living room or at the kitchen island with a cup of tea and talk about anything. Louis loved whenever she talked about her adventures with Blake and what she did on her free time now that she didn’t work anymore. He was completely amazed when he found out she was a volunteer at the hospital. She was what they would call a cuddler, someone who would spend time with premature babies who didn’t have parents or they just couldn’t be there all day.

Louis still didn’t know what he was going to do with his life. He didn’t know if he wanted to go back to school or stay at home and take care of Blake. His son was almost ten years old, and Louis was sure he wasn’t going to get to take care of him for long when Blake was going to be able to take care of himself. He was sure Harry wanted to talk to him about it, but he just wasn’t ready for that conversation. He hadn't been able to answer his mother, and he was sure he wouldn’t be able to answer Harry.

“Lou, do you want green beans too?” Harry asked him, snapping Louis out of his thoughts.

“Uh...yeah. I do.” Louis put his hand over his mouth when his throat itched and he had to cough.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Jay asked him, already reaching for him as best as she could, looking worried out of her mind.

“I am. My throat just itched.” Louis smiled at her.

“I don’t want green beans.” Blake said, making Louis look at him.

“What did I say about vegetables?” Louis asked him, his hands sweating a little when he could feel the rest of the adults looking at him.

“Why do I have to eat them and you don’t?”

And oh. Louis wasn’t expecting that at all. And if he was honest, he didn’t know what to do when Blake was looking at him as if daring him to say something else.

“I am eating them.” Louis told him. “Now sit and eat them. You know you have to have some everyday.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds until Blake sighed and accepted the plate his father was offering him. Louis stared at him for a few more seconds, then looked up to see his mother looking at him with a proud expression. One that said he was doing amazing.

They ate and talked about their plans for the day. Harry and Mark were going back to work while Louis was going to stay home with Jay and Blake. As soon as they were gone, Blake had gone out to the backyard to play with Harley while Louis stayed inside with Jay.

“You did great with Blake.” Jay once again praised her son.

“I hope I did.” Louis looked down at his lap. “I don't know why he's been acting like this. He won't listen sometimes.” Louis sighed.

“You're acting more like a parent than a friend now.” Jay started explaining. “Don't get mad but your father and I had this conversation. It was all fun and games before and now you're assimilating to your new life, you're getting used to being a father.”

“I...I wanted him to like me.” Louis confessed. “When we first met, all I wanted was for him to like me.”

“He already loved you, sweetheart.” Jay told him. “He grew up loving you.”

“I realized that later.” Louis smiled.

That smile quickly turned into a frown when he heard a cat, Harley growling and Blake’s screams. He shot up from his spot and ran outside, just in time to see a stray cat running away, leaving Blake crying by the fence. When he got there, he had to pull Harley away from him, about to panic when he saw the bleeding scratches on his son’s left arm, right by his hand.

“Did it scratch you?!” Louis asked, wanting to be sure about what had happened. He grabbed his hand to look at the injuries.

“Y– Yes! It came after Harley!” Blake cried, hiding his face on Louis’ chest.

Louis wrapped his arm around him, then cupped the back of his head while still holding his arm. He started walking back into the house, seeing his mother just making it there. Her eyes widened, moving aside to let them in and make sure Harley got inside too. She locked the door and turned around to see the bathroom light on, hearing Blake’s sniffles and Louis murmuring comforting words.

When she got there, Louis had Blake standing in front of the sink as he washed his arm with soap and water. He had three deep scratches on the inside of his wrist, figuring out he must have gotten too close. She started looking through the cabinet, setting a first aid kit on the counter. She was feeling exhausted already, but she knew it was normal.

“I’m gonna take him to the hospital.” Louis decided, glancing at his mother to see her nodding before she grabbed her phone.

“Should I call Harry?” She asked.

“Yes please. I need him to meet us there, I have no idea what to do or what doctor he takes him to.” Louis’ voice was shaky, still hearing Blake sniffling as he tried to be as gentle as he could.

When he was done cleaning it, he realized it was deeper than he thought. He put ointment over it, then wrapped a bandage around it. He put Harley in his crate since he was sure they weren’t going to take long, then helped his mom into her car. Blake sat next to her, letting his grandmother hug him when he was still upset.

Louis was nervous the whole journey there, making sure he paid attention to the road. Harry was already waiting for them near the elevators of the parking lot and as soon as he saw them, he went to check on Blake. He took them to the fifth floor where Louis could see many doctor offices. They walked into a pediatric one, where they went straight to the front desk.

“What happened, Blake?” One of the nurses asked him. She was a pretty dark skinned woman, around Jay’s age.

“A cat scratched me.” Blake sniffled, feeling his arm burning.

“Come on in so I can take a look at it.” She said. She walked up to a door and let them all in, smiling at Louis when they made eye contact.

“Thank you, Jenna.” Harry gave her a smile as he helped Jay into the examination room. “I called Dr. Stromberg so he should be here soon.” Harry told her, seeing her nodding.

“Hello, I’m Jenna.” She greeted Louis, offering her hand to shake his.

“Louis.” He shook hands with her, afraid of telling her he was Blake’s father.

“Its nice to meet you, Blake talks about you all the time he comes for a checkup. Hello, Jay!” She said as she washed her hands on the sink, then dried them before grabbing gloves from a box.

“He does?” Louis smiled, looking at his son.

“Jenna has been Blake’s nurse his whole life.” Harry explained when he saw Louis realizing how comfortable Blake was with her.

“Gave him his very first vaccination and still have more to come. I’m surprised he still likes me.” Jenna said as she gently removed the bandage.

“You’re nice.” Blake told her, making her smile.

“Oh sweetie, that cat got you good.” She shook her head, moving a little to let Harry see.

“What were you doing, Blake?” Harry asked him, horrified at just how deep it was. It didn’t need stitches, but it was still deep.

“I was playing outside with Harley and the cat came out of nowhere. Harley barked at it and the cat tried to hurt him but I stopped it.” Blake explained, looking at Jenna with wide eyes when he saw a syringe in her hands.

“Is Harley okay?” Harry asked, looking at Louis when Blake looked at him.

“I checked him and he’s completely fine, not a scratch.” Jay spoke up.

A knock interrupted them, then the door opened and a man a few years older than Harry walked into the room. He introduced himself as Dr. Stromberg to Louis, shaking hands with him while Louis couldn’t stop thinking about how handsome he was.

“I heard you got into a fight with a cat.” Dr. Stromberg jokingly gave Blake a disappointed look, making the nine year old giggle.

“The cat started it.” Blake shrugged, making the doctor laugh.

“Let me wash my hands so I can take a look at it.” The pediatrician said.

He looked at it then after explaining what he was gonna do, he started giving it a deeper wash. Blake had only teared up once, trying not to move when he had been told to stay still.

“The wound is deeper than I thought. I’m going to prescribe him antibiotics to keep it from getting infected. I also recommend he gets vaccinated against rabies and tetanus. He was vaccinated for the tetanus when he was...four, so I highly recommend it.” Dr. Stromberg explained, having to look at the copy of Blake’s immunization records.

“Rabies…” Louis trailed off, a horrified look on his face.

“We haven’t had that many cases of rabies, but since we don’t know the status of the cat, it's better to vaccinate him to prevent it. Better safe than sorry.” He kindly explained, watching Louis nodding. The worry in his blue eyes never went away.

He put ointment on the wound and bandaged it again. He gave them a sample and more bandages to take home while Jenna got the shots ready. Louis held his hand when he got them, proud of his son when he didn’t even flinch. He couldn’t help but feel a lump in his throat when even something as small as Blake getting his vaccinations made him hurt. He wasn’t there at all for Blake whenever he would get them. And being there now, holding his hand, was a special moment for him.

~*~

“I’ll be home in a few more hours.” Harry told Louis.

They were standing right by the driver’s door of Jay’s car. Jay and Blake were already waiting for Louis inside the car, having let Louis say goodbye to Harry. The older man wrapped an arm around Louis and kissed him, abruptly pulling back when someone cleared their throats. They found an older woman walking by as she gave them disapproving looks, muttering pervert under her breath. She was one of Harry’s patients.

It was quiet. Way too quiet that it made the air around them heavy and awkward.

“I love you.” Louis wrapped his arms around Harry, surprising the man who wrapped his own around Louis.

“I love you too.” Harry whispered against Louis’ ear, never taking his eyes off of the mirror.

When Louis got home later that day, he cooked something for them to eat, then let Blake take a nap when his son was exhausted. All day he wouldn’t stop thinking about what that woman had said. And the more he thought about it, the angrier he was starting to get. Harry wasn’t even that old and Louis was legally an adult. There was nothing wrong with their relationship, it shouldn’t bother people that didn’t know them. He realized then that the world was now way different than it used to be before. Not it was more vile than ever.

When Harry got home, Mark and Jay were already in their bedroom resting before dinner. Louis was in his bedroom and on the bed with Blake next to him who was reading him a book. It was one of Blake’s assignments from school, but now that he and Jacob had become friends, Blake had been slacking off. Louis just wasn’t gonna have it and had made him read him the book now that he knew Blake had to answer questions about it.

Harry gave them a smile and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. He spent more time there than he usually did. When he finally came out, he was dressed in jeans and a light blue dress shirt. Louis furrowed his brow, wanting to ask if he was going out when he had already made dinner.

“Going somewhere?” Louis asked as soon as Blake had finished reading the second chapter of that day.

“No, I just invited mom to dinner and I wanted to look nice.” Harry said.

“Oh, okay.” Louis nodded as he got up to set the table.

When he got there, Mark had already set it, adding one more seat when Harry informed him about his mom coming over. Anne got there a few minutes later, giving hugs and kisses.

“How have you been doing?” She asked Jay.

“Better. These three weeks have been amazing and look,” Jay lifted her arm up. “I can move my arm better.” She smiled.

“That’s wonderful, Jay.” Anne held her hand. “We have to go out for lunch one of these days.”

“Whenever you’re free.” Jay agreed.

They pulled away from each other when Louis and Harry set the food in the middle of the table so they could serve themselves. They made conversation, mostly Blake who told his nana what had happened with the cat and about school. When they were done, Anne ended up staying more time, wanting to spend more time with family. She was the first to notice Louis had fallen asleep right next to Harry, with his head on her son’s shoulder.

She furrowed her brows when Harry placed his hand on Louis’ forehead then on his cheeks. She looked at Jay, biting her tongue when she didn’t want to worry her. She ended up leaving at nine at night, promising Harry she would text him as soon as she was home.

Harry was getting ready for bed when he got the text, he texted her back a “Goodnight”, then placed the phone on his nightstand to charge. He checked on Louis who was already asleep, then made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He had just finished brushing his teeth when he saw Louis stumbling into the bathroom. He had his eyes half closed and was drenched in sweat. For a moment, Harry panicked thinking the worst. But his worst fears became reality when Louis tried to say something, then fell down to the floor unconscious.

Harry was fast to react, running to him and making sure he still had a pulse and was breathing. That his heart was still beating. His face was wet with tears by the time he picked him up and brought him to their bed. He tried to wake him up, but when Louis didn’t react at all, is when Harry picked him up again. He made it to his car without telling anyone where he was going. He would sometimes look at Louis and the tears would cloud his vision. As a doctor, he felt like a failure. As Louis’ partner, he felt helpless.

“You’ll be okay, you’ll be okay.” Harry repeated over and over as he carried Louis into Mark’s clinic. Louis opened his eyes for a moment, then closed them again when he couldn’t keep them open for long.

It was best for Louis to be treated there, where they knew his medical history. Where they would be able to help him in case something was very wrong.

When he walked into emergencies, one of the nurses showed him to a private room, where a doctor was helping him out right away.

“What happened?” The doctor asked Harry.

“He just passed out. I noticed he was feeling warmer than usual earlier today and then a few hours later he just collapsed.” Harry explained, regretting not making sure Louis was okay when he first noticed.

“We need to wake him up and reduce that fever. I’ll request a blood test to see what’s going on.” The doctor explained as a nurse started an IV on Louis and another one with the blood tests. “I’ll give him something for the fever. Tests shouldn't take long.”

When they were done, Harry was left alone with Louis. He had just taken a seat next to him when his phone went off. He answered right away when he saw it was Mark, who had already noticed their absence.

“Mark.” Harry answered, his voice trembling with emotion when he couldn’t take his eyes off of Louis.

“Harry, where are you? I noticed you driving away and I thought you had gone to get Louis something. Where are you?” He asked, hearing Harry taking a deep breath.

“The institution. Louis...he...I don’t know what happened. He just collapsed out of nowhere.” Harry explained, hearing Mark dropping something.

“His heart. Make sure they check his blood pressure, his heart. I’m on my way.” Mark said before hanging up, not giving Harry time to talk.

Harry looked down at the phone, then pocketed it as he watched Louis. It seemed like hours had passed and Louis was yet to wake up, but his fever had gone down. Harry worried that something could be wrong when he wasn’t waking up, but he knew it had to be exhaustion from the fever itself. He sat up when someone knocked on the door, not saying anything when Mark walked in.

“Have the doctors said anything?” Mark asked.

“Tests should be ready soon.” Harry spoke up. His voice cracked and he was quick to clear his throat.

“I hope...I pray it has nothing to do with the cryopreservation.” Mark’s voice trembled.

“He had been doing so well. I don’t understand.” Harry said.

He quieted down when someone knocked on the door, then the doctor walked in. Both Harry and Mark furrowed their brows when a nurse walked in after him, rolling in a ultrasound machine.

“What’s going on?” Harry asked.

“The tests revealed a high level of the hCG hormone as well as cryoprotectants in the blood. I need to do an ultrasound to see what’s going on. This doesn’t look good at all.” He explained.

“We did tests for that, Dr. McDaniel.” Mark said. “It showed his body was able to get rid of them soon after reanimation.”

“He has a high count.” Dr. McDaniel responded.

They watched the nurse lift Louis’ shirt up and apply that cold gel on his stomach. Harry was sure there was a mistake, that’s what he wanted to believe. He waited for what felt like forever, until Dr. McDaniel stopped what he was doing and looked at them.

“There it is. Around seven weeks. At this stage I should be able to detect a heartbeat, but...there isn’t one.” He said.

“An internal ultrasound.” Mark said. “It should give you more chances of detecting a heartbeat.”

“Dr. Tomlinson, there is no heartbeat. We can do an internal ultrasound, but we won’t find one.”

“I’ll let myself out, Harry, you stay.” Mark said before he walked out.

“Harry, are you sure you want me to do this?” He asked. “Internal ultrasounds are invasive, we’ll have to wake him up. I can’t do this if he doesn’t fully consent to it when he’s fully awake and understands what’s going on.”

“A– Are you sure there is no heartbeat?” Harry asked, trying to make the lump in his throat go away.

Dr. McDaniel shook his head then grabbed the ultrasound wand and started trying again. A few minutes passed where nothing was heard, only deafening silence that for Harry, was louder than everything else.

“Do you have any idea as to what could have happened?” He asked.

“I have a few. For his body, he only just had a baby a few months ago, four to be exact. But that shouldn't have caused the embryo to die. Many people get pregnant again right away after having a baby. He shows no signs of miscarriage, Harry. The embryo is just there, no heartbeat but still attached to him. As if it wasn’t dead and the pregnancy is still going. Another one is the high count of cryoprotectants and the fact that his body, no matter how long it has been, is still trying to recuperate from being frozen for years. That could have been the cause. His body, and his uterus are just not ready to support another life, at least not for now.” Dr. McDaniel explained. “At this point there’s nothing left to do but to terminate the pregnancy. It's dangerous to leave it there, he could get an infection and lose the uterus. Or worse...it can kill him.

“He has to consent to it, to decide that. It’s his body.” Harry looked him in the eyes.

“Alright.” The man nodded. “We’ll wait until he wakes up and we’ll go from there.”

Harry was left alone with Louis when Louis started waking up. His eyes seemed distant and out of focus as he looked around until they settled on him. He didn’t say anything, choosing to look away while Harry couldn’t look away.

“How are you feeling?” Harry finally asked, clearing his throat after.

“Tired.” Louis mumbled. “Why am I here?”

“You passed out of nowhere and you had a high fever. Have you been feeling sick all day, Lou?” Harry asked as he slowly got up and made his way to Louis, holding his hand as soon as he reached for him.

“No. But I do now.” Louis said. “I feel tired and nauseous.”

“I’ll tell them to give you something but first we need to talk.” Harry said, slowly getting ready to give Louis the heartbreaking news.

“I’m not dying again, am I?” Louis asked, a smile slowly forming on his face.

“You’re not, darling.” Harry kissed his hands.

“Then what’s wrong?” Louis asked, starting to worry when he saw just how nervous Harry was. “Harry? Whatever you have to say, just say it, love.”

Harry took a deep breath and laid down with Louis, wrapping his arms around the boy. It was against hospital rules, but he could care less when he was about to break Louis’ heart. Harry held his hand, linking their fingers together. He didn’t know how to tell him, he felt so lost and helpless.

“Harry?” Louis called his name.

“I swear that if I could change it then I would. I’ll do anything.” Harry said, his hands shaking.

“Harry, you’re scaring me.” Louis told him. “I’m trying to stay calm but you’re not helping. Whatever you have to say, just say it. I’m not a child, I can take it.”

“You are– you were carrying our baby, but it didn’t make it.” Harry slowly said, wanting to cry when Louis’ expression completely changed to one of heartbreak.

“Oh.” Louis looked down at his hands, trying to make the lump that was slowly forming in his throat go away.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Harry hugged him, surprised that Louis wasn’t crying yet.

“What happened?” He asked, even though he already had an idea about what had happened. “Wh– but I didn’t miscarry, I...it's still there. Is it still there?” Louis sat up and turned around to look at Harry with a horrified expression on his face. “What’s going on?”

Harry took a deep breath and sat up so he could explain.

“Your body is not ready to carry a child, at least not for now. There’s a high count of cryoprotectants in your body, we injected them around ten years ago to protect your body from any damage from the cold temperatures, but we don’t know if they had something to do with it.” Harry explained.

“So what do we do now?” Louis asked, surprising Harry at how calm he was even though his eyes were filled with tears.

“We have to terminate the pregnancy immediately before it causes damage.” Harry explained.

Louis didn’t ask how they were going to do it, nor did he want to know. He just laid down next to Harry and closed his eyes. He lost count of the hours, trusting that Harry would take care of everything and all he had to do was sign a consent form. He was then given medication, making everything more real. But Louis couldn’t feel a thing, he felt numb.

“I don’t want to be awake for it.” Louis told Harry, when he was sure the time was getting closer.

“You don’t have to be.” Harry held him closer. “We won’t force you to stay awake.

“I want you to be there.” Louis said. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“I won’t leave your side, I promise you.” Harry kissed the top of his head.

Louis went to sleep that night, never waking up until the next morning. Harry was sleeping on a couch close to him and Louis could tell he had been crying. He shouldn’t have asked him to stay with him, but he had been so afraid to be alone. He tried not to think about it, he really did, but knowing what he had just gone through, he couldn’t help but let a few tears escape.

He took deep breaths and willed himself to stop crying. He didn’t want to cry, there was no use and it didn’t solve anything. He stared at Harry until the man woke up and was fast to get on his feet and go to him. The feeling of guilt and that it was all his fault was tearing him apart. He was older, he should have known unprotected sex had its consequences.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. Sighing when Louis didn’t say anything. “Louis?”

“Tired.” Louis answered.

“As soon as the doctor makes sure you’re okay, we can go home.” Harry told him.

He didn’t say anything when Louis didn’t either, understanding that he needed time. When they went home, Harry carried Louis upstairs and into their room. It was still too early for Jay and Blake to be awake and Louis was thankful when he didn’t want to see anyone. He was thankful his father had left them alone when he had been waiting for them. The house smelled like coffee, the sky was still dark. It was Louis’ favorite things, but now he couldn’t find enjoyment in them.

When they made it to their bedroom, he laid down on the bed, letting Harry lay down next to him. He closed his eyes to sleep again, but opened them when Harry cleared his throat and started talking.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, not knowing what else to say.

“I’m fine.” Louis mumbled. He didn’t want to talk.

“Lou…” Harry paused and licked his lips, trying to find the right things to say. “You can tell me everything, we can talk about it.”

When Louis didn’t say anything, Harry continued talking.

“I should have been more careful, I should ha–” He didn’t get to finish when Louis placed his hand over his mouth to make him stop.

“I can’t feel.” Louis told him. “I don’t feel anything. Maybe I will later today or tomorrow, or weeks from now, but right now I can’t feel anything. And it's not your fault, it’s not.”

“But I knew.” Harry insisted, a few tears escaping his eyes that Louis was quick to wipe away.

“I knew too and I didn’t stop it. The worst thing you could ever do to yourself and I, is to blame yourself. It happened and it’s horrible but we can move on from this and who knows, maybe a few years from now we can try for another one. Right now, I only want to go back to how things were before this. As if it never happened.” Louis said, making sure he was the one to hold Harry and let him cry it out.

That’s all he could do for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	21. 21. Untitled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crap at updating and I apologize. This chapter is kinda eh, but I hope that those of you who are still reading like it. I didn't edit! Enjoy!

I'm crap at updating and I apologize. This chapter is kinda eh, but I hope that those of you who are still reading like it. I didn't edit! Enjoy! 

 

It was already one in the afternoon and Louis still couldn’t get up from bed. Blake had come in to see him before he left to school, and his mother had brought him breakfast in bed. He had barely finished the pancakes when he wasn’t hungry at all. All he wanted was to sleep when he felt exhausted. He looked at a sleeping Harry next to him, and tried not to move when the man hadn’t slept at all the night before.

He ran his fingers through Harry’s hair and held him closer. He placed his hand on his stomach, willing himself not to cry. It was for the best when he was barely getting used to this new world, when he didn’t know yet what he wanted to do with his life. When sometimes he was terrified of closing his eyes and never open them again. After thinking too much, which was something he didn’t want to do, he got up and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower.

He took his time in there, making sure to really clean down there then stood under the spray of hot water until it turned cold. He grabbed a towel and dried himself before going to the closet to find something to wear. He did the daily routine and when he was done, he walked back to the bedroom and grabbed the laptop Harry had gotten him. It took him a while to get comfortable with it, but as soon as he did, he went straight to google. If you wanted to know something, all you had to do was to google it. He smiled when he remembered his son telling him that.

As soon as the search engine was displayed on the screen, he started looking up schools. He didn’t know what it was, or why he was doing it, but he wanted to do his research before making a decision about whether he wanted to go back to school or not. He didn’t know what he wanted to study when he didn’t want to do dancing anymore. That part of him was gone and he didn’t have any desire to do it again. He was in the middle of reading when Harry stirred, making him look up at him.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked him, his voice deep and raspy after sleeping for so long.

“Looking up schools.” Louis shrugged, hurrying up to explain when Harry sat up. “I’m just looking. Doesn’t mean I’ll enroll in one.”

“There’s no pressure for you to enroll now.” Harry laid back down on his side, facing Louis then scratched the back of his neck. “What would you study? In case you do decide to go back.”

“I don’t know.” Louis shrugged.

Silence filled the gray room when the curtains were still closed. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist and rested his head next to his back, closing his eyes soon after. The sound of Louis typing had him smiling when he was still just as fast as he used to. Harry was starting to fall asleep when Louis moved, disturbing his nice sleep.

“It's time to pick up Blake.” Louis announced, getting up to put his shoes on.

“Just give me a minute to change.” Harry got up as he rubbed his still red eyes.

“Umm…” Louis stood in front of him, playing with his fingers. “If you don’t mind, I’ll like to pick him up by myself. I want to spend time with him… just the two of us.”

“Oh.” Harry’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Nothing bad will happen to him. I just want to spend time with him, I– I feel like I don’t spend a lot of time with him and now after–” Louis took a deep breath. “After what happened, I just want to be alone with him. Bond a little more.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Harry said. “He’s yours too and if you want to spend time with him then you have the right to. Go get him, I’ll be here. I’m taking the day off.” Harry smiled.

“Thank you!” Louis jumped on the bed and gave Harry a quick kiss. “Can I take your car?” He asked, his hand already reaching for the keys.

“Of course, love.” Harry told him, then watched Louis leave before laying down again.

~*~

Louis was already parked in front of the school waiting for his child. The line of cars with parents in them waiting for their children was starting to get long and he was lucky to be the first. He watched with a smile on his face when all the kids started walking out of the school in groups, then grabbed the name tag with his son’s name on it and placed it against the windshield of his car. He started the car and unlocked the door as soon as he saw Blake making his way to the car and made sure to give him his biggest smile as soon as Blake opened the back door.

“Hi baby!” Louis greeted him. “Come sit next to me.” He reached for his backpack and threw it on one of the seats.

“Papa says I have to sit in the back until I’m thirteen, and then I can sit in the front seat.” Blake told him, ready to climb in.

“Yeah, but papa is not here and I want you to sit next to me.” Louis insisted, biting on his bottom lip when people started honking at him to get him to move. “Just get in the backseat then climb over here.” Louis ordered, and as soon as Blake had sat down and shut the door, he drove off.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Blake looked at him.

“But I want to talk to you and be able to see you.” Louis pouted. “C’mon, baby. Please.” He begged. “Sometimes you have to break the rules, Blake. We won’t tell papa. I promise.”

Blake chewed on his bottom lip, until he sighed and moved to the front as soon as Louis had stopped at a red light.

“See! It wasn’t so bad. Now you can see me and I can see you.” Louis smiled. “Buckle up, please.” He said. “So how was school?”

“It was good.” Blake looked out the window then at his father, noticing how happy he looked. “Jeffrey wants me to go spend the night at his house tomorrow. Can I please go?” Blake asked.

“We’ll ask papa later, and tomorrow is saturday so I’m sure he’ll say yes. But now how about we go get pizza! And then we can go to the arcade.” Louis said, unable to sit still as he drove to a restaurant.

“Okay!” Blake smiled. He was starving and wouldn't mind going to the arcade when it had been too long.

When they got there, Louis carefully parked the car then made sure he had money before getting out of the vehicle. He walked alongside Blake and opened the door, letting his son go in first. The smell of pizza made his mouth water as they made their way to the line to pay and then grab whatever they wanted. Louis let Blake grab whatever he wanted to eat as well as a large sprite, knowing he was supposed to have a small but he didn’t care when Blake wasn’t going to finish it anyway. They found a booth at the very back of the restaurant and sat down to eat. They finished a whole slice of pepperoni pizza then Blake wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Where’s papa?” He asked.

“At home sleeping.” Louis answered before taking a bite of his second slice of pizza. He was starving.

“Can we have ice cream after this?” Blake asked again, having decided to try his luck.

“Anything you want, baby.” Louis smiled.

Blake gave him a wide smile, silently thanking him. Louis felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He put the slice down on the plate, wiped his hands with a napkin and grabbed his phone seeing a text from Harry asking him where they were. He quickly replied to let him know they weren’t going to be home for a while then put his phone down and continued eating.

Louis let Blake eat whatever he wanted and as much as he wanted, his eyes widening when his son almost finished a whole pizza. When they were done, Louis drove to the nearest arcade located in a mall after googling one near them. When they got there, Louis watched the way Blake’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw all the games. He ran straight to the Pac-Man one before anyone else could take it while Louis went to the front desk to get coins. He came back a few minutes later with a small bag full of coins. He gave Blake a few then used some for himself to start playing on the Pac-Man right next to Blake’s. It had been so long since Louis had last played and now that he was getting the chance to do it again he forgot for a moment about everything else.

He forgot how messed up everything was. He forgot he had lost a child, even for a few seconds as he cheered his son on. The heartache was still there, but seeing Blake’s smile made everything better. He left Blake playing MarioKart while he went to get them ice cream and came back with two ice cream cones. He didn’t think two big scoops was too much.

“I won, dad!” Blake told him as soon as Louis was standing next to him.

“I knew you were going to win!!” Louis gave him a quick hug then handed him the chocolate ice cream cone.

“Thank you!” Blake took the ice cream and followed Louis to one of the tables taking a seat in front of him.

They ate in silence until Blake cleared his throat and looked at Louis who was completely focused on his ice cream cone,

“Have you ever had a trampoline?” Blake asked him, having remembered seeing them on their way to the arcade.

“When I was like eleven. Dad got rid of it when I fell and broke my arm and sprained my ankle.” Louis told him, then licked the ice cream that was starting to melt.

“What hurt more?” Blake leaned forward.

“Hmm… definitely my ankle.” Louis said. “Papa has never gotten you one?” He asked, furrowing his brow when Blake looked down then back at him.

“He doesn’t want to get me one because he says I’m going to break something. But you can put a net around it and I’m not stupid.” Blake frowned.

“He doesn’t think you’re stupid.” Louis quickly denied it. “He’s just trying to keep you safe.”

“I’m not a baby anymore. I’m going to ask grandpa Mark for one for christmas.” Blake decided.

“Dad hates them.” Louis burst his bubble, knowing very well that Mark wasn’t going to get it for him if he didn’t have Harry’s permission first.

“Why is everybody so anti trampoline!” Blake exclaimed, making Louis laugh.

Louis stared at Blake and suddenly he got the best idea ever and leaned forward as soon as he had Blake’s attention. “How about… we go and look at them and if we like one, we buy one.” He suggested, smiling when Blake quickly nodded. “Finish your ice cream first and then we can go.”

Louis had never seen Blake eat an ice cream cone as big as the ones he had gotten as fast as he had done it. When they were done, they walked around trying to find a store. They had to google where to find one and ended up finding a trampoline park instead. Louis didn’t think twice and drove there, feeling like a little kid again when he saw all the trampolines.

“I bet I can jump higher than you!” Blake challenged him.

They were only wearing socks and jumping around on one of the trampolines right next to the foam pit.

“You obviously haven’t seen me jump before.” Louis started jumping, going higher and higher while Blake giggled and tried to jump higher than his father.

Louis was having too much fun seeing his son struggling to jump higher than he was. He watched him give up and jump his way to the edge of the trampoline screaming “Incoming!” before jumping into the foam pit. He quickly got out of there then jumped again, seeing Louis still jumping a few feet away from him. He did it a few more times and stopped when his stomach started hurting. He slowly made his way to where Louis was now sitting waiting for him.

“Can we go?” Blake asked as he took a seat next to his father.

“Sure, bud.” Louis slowly got up. They went back to the lockers to retrieve their shoes and then made their way out of there, shivering as soon as they walked outside.

“Do you still wanna go look at the trampolines?” Louis asked Blake, stopping to let a car pass before they started walking again toward their car.

Blake thought about it for a few seconds then nodded. “Don’t we have to ask papa first?” He looked up at Louis with a questioning look.

“I’m your dad too and I’m allowing you to have a trampoline.” Louis answered. “I don’t have to ask your father permission for everything.”

He was starting to get annoyed when every time he wanted to do something with Blake, his son always asked if they had to ask Harry first, or if Harry was okay with it. He didn’t blame his son when he was used to only seeing Harry as the parental authority in their home, but now he was there too and things were going to change. If he wanted to get Blake a trampoline, then he was going to get the damn trampoline.

“Okay! We’re getting the biggest one.” Blake shrugged and got in the car.

Louis drove to the store and when they finally got there, they ran straight to the area where a few were set up and there were dozens of boxes lined up in big shelves. They looked around until they found the one they wanted then had someone help them buy it. Louis didn’t blink at the price when they had picked the biggest one. He paid and scheduled a delivery for that same day when the trampoline came in four big boxes then paid extra to have the guys assemble it for him.

When they got home, his parents and Harry were gone. Louis knew they were in the hospital doing an assessment for his mom to see how she was doing. It was perfect timing. The delivery truck had followed them there and now they were bringing the boxes to the backyard through the door on the side of the house. They got to work right away while Louis and Blake were sitting on the floor in front of the backdoor watching them. Louis got up and offered them something to drink then went inside to get their water after telling them where he wanted the trampoline.

“Are they almost done?” Blake asked him. He was sitting on the couch with Harley watching tv while Louis entertained himself on the computer.

Louis paused what he was doing to look out the glass doors, noticing they were already picking up their tools. “They’re done.” He got up and walked out of the house.

He thanked them and he watched them leave just as his father’s car turned into their street. He ran inside the house and found Blake already jumping on the trampoline. He closed the laptop and put it away then went to sit on the couch to wait for them. The first to walk in through the door was Jay followed by Mark and finally Harry. Louis stared at him, watching the way he stopped and looked out the glass doors and at Blake who was happily jumping away.

“Uh… what is this? Where did you get that from?” Harry asked him, finally looking at him.

“From the store.” Louis answered then got up to help his mom to the couch. “Hi, mom.” He greeted her with a kiss to the cheek.

“Hi baby.” She kissed his cheek, “You got Blake a trampoline?” She asked him.

“Yeah. He told me he’s always wanted one and I got it for him.” Louis told her, trying to ignore the looks Harry was giving him.

“He’s always wanted one.” Jay smiled. “And he looks like he’s having a lot of fun.”

“Louis, can I talk to you?” Harry said, motioning for Louis to follow him.

“We’re going to go outside with Blake.” Mark quickly said. He helped his wife outside, leaving Harry and Louis alone in the family room.

Louis took a seat on one of the barstools and waited for Harry to start talking. Harry stared at Blake and the dog barking and running around the trampoline everytime Blake ran around in circles. Louis looked down and smiled, feeling happy just by seeing his son was happy and was having fun. That’s what mattered to him.

“He wanted the trampoline. Said he’s been asking you for one for so long but you wouldn’t buy it for him.” Louis decided to break the silence.

“I didn’t buy him one for a reason.” Harry said. “He could get hurt, they’re not safe. He could fall off and break something.”

“That’s what the net is for.” Louis fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“You didn’t even ask me if he could have it, if it was okay.”

“He’s my son too and I wanted him to have it. It’s okay, Harry. The net is there to keep him safe and he’s not stupid. You treat him like he’s still a baby when he’s almost ten.” Louis stared at him, starting to get annoyed.

“I never said he’s stupid. I just want him to be safe.” Harry told him.

“Yeah, I do too. But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna keep him from doing fun things he likes just because I wanna keep him safe. Might as well wrap him in bubble wrap or keep him locked in his room forever if I’m gonna be this obnoxious.” Louis snapped, not even caring that he had probably offended Harry. “And just so we’re clear, I’m his dad too and I have the right to decide what’s best for him and what’s not. You make me feel like I’m no one around here. Like I’m not even his dad.”

“I don’t do that.” Harry’s face softened.

“Yes you do!” Louis raised his voice. For some reason he felt angry and he wanted to cry. “When I want to do something with him we always have to ask you if it's okay because if we don’t then you don’t stop bitching all day. I want to do things without having to ask you if it’s okay with you. If I want my son to have a damn trampoline then he’ll have it.”

“Alright.” Harry told him. “All you had to do was speak up, tell me what you want, what you need.”

That was it. It was that easy.

“What?” Louis gave him a confused look.

“I know I can get a little...overbearing. I don’t want anything to hurt him, I want him to be okay all the time.” Harry confessed.

“And I understand, but you need to loosen up a little.” Louis said.

“I don’t want to fail again.” Harry’s voice trembled and it made Louis’ heart ache.

“You never failed me.” Louis willed his tears away. “It doesn’t feel that way and I’ve never thought about it like that.”

“From now on we’re a team.” Harry stood in front of him.

“Thank you.” Louis looked down at his lap, letting Harry hug him when the man wrapped his arms around him.

“How about we go outside with the rest?” Harry suggested and kissed Louis’ cheeks when he nodded.

They got up and went outside where Blake was trying to do a few tricks. Louis could see the way Harry would flinch every time Blake would fall. Louis wrapped an arm around his waist to let him know it was okay, that Blake was old enough and he was safe.

That night Louis and Harry were in charge of making dinner while Blake showered after the long day outside. They had to watch their step when Harley was laying down on the floor in the middle of the kitchen chewing on his toy obsessively and refused to move. He was getting too big and Harry had yet to find him a training school. He knew he should have done it since he was still a puppy, but always seemed to forgot about it. He was just glad Blake was always outside with him and the dog had gotten used to doing his business outside. When they finally sat down to eat they noticed the way Blake was pushing his food around, only eating a few pieces of the broccoli and beef.

“Are you okay, love?” Jay asked him. “Not hungry?”

“My stomach hurts.” Blake looked up at his grandma, showing them how pale he looked. “And I’m tired. I want to sleep.” He groaned.

“Did you go to the bathroom?” Harry asked him.

“Yeah, but it still hurts.” Blake answered then pushed his plate away. “Can I go to bed now?”

Louis looked at the clock that marked seven thirty, hearing Harry telling him it was okay. Blake sat up and slowly picked up his plate and put it next to the sink then said goodnight and walked away. Harley followed him and this time they didn’t stop the dog when they wanted their son to have company while they ate their dinner.

“He probably ate something bad.” Mark said. “Kids these days eat whatever.”

“He only had pizza and ice cream.” Louis spoke up. “He was fine after it.”

“He probably caught a bug. If he’s not better by tomorrow morning then Jeffrey can’t come over.” Harry stared down at his almost empty plate. Plans had changed and now it was Jeffrey the one that was coming over saturday night.

When they were done eating, Louis made his way to check on Blake, seeing him asleep with the lights still on. He made sure he was doing fine and after he checked for a fever that luckily he didn’t have, he turned the lights off and walked out, leaving the door open.

He spent the rest of the evening in bed with Harry who was looking up training schools for Harley. Later that night around ten, they finally got up to brush their teeth before going to bed. They were rinsing their mouths when Blake walked in looking green and holding his stomach.

“Papa, I don’t feel good.” He said, before he threw up all over their bathroom floor getting some on his bare feet.

Harry quickly made his way to him and picked him up to get him out of the mess and in front of the toilet, but when doing so, Blake threw up again and got it all over his arm and some on his shirt. He was placed in front of the toilet where he did it again, letting out a few tears when he felt a cool cloth wiping away the sweat off of his face.

“Do you feel better now?” Harry asked him.

He waited for Blake to answer him, having to pull him away when he was about to rest his head on the toilet seat. He watched the way Louis brushed his hair back with his fingers then rubbed his back.

“Stay here, I’m gonna go get his toothbrush and clean pajamas.” Harry said before leaving the bathroom, having to step around the puddle of vomit.

“Do you feel better?” Louis asked his son.

“A little.” Blake opened his eyes and leaned against Louis, letting his father hold him like a baby against his chest.

“You got puke all over yourself. Cmon, let's go wash you up.” Louis tried to make him get up, but Blake refused to move, whining when Louis tried again.

“It was the pizza, dad.” Blake groaned. “I’m not allowed to eat a lot because it makes me sick.” He confessed.

“Well you learned your lesson, didn’t you?” Louis kept brushing his hair with his fingers, seeing Blake nodding. “I didn’t know this but you did, and you didn't tell me or paced yourself.”

“I want to sleep.” Blake cuddled further into Louis’ chest.

Louis was surprised he wasn’t crying when he, at Blake’s age, would cry whenever he threw up. He kissed the top of his head and got up with Blake in his arms. He set him down near the shower door then turned it on while Blake clumsily removed his clothes. Louis helped him in, not minding that he was getting wet and when he was sure his son was okay, he closed the door and let him shower on his own.

“How’s he doing?” Harry walked in with clean clothes, a towel and a toothbrush.

“Better.” Louis said, his gaze on the vomit on their floor.

“I’ll clean it up, I don’t want you to get sick.” harry handed him the clothes then walked out.

He came back with paper towels, a plastic bag and clorox. Louis couldn’t even look at it without getting nauseous. He was thankful that it took a lot to make Harry sick when it came to those things. He leaned against the counter and rubbed his eyes trying to stay awake. It had been a long day and he was ready to go to bed and sleep. He gave the towel to Blake and let him dress up and brush his teeth on his own and when they were done, Harry had already finished cleaning up. Louis made his way downstairs to get his son a water bottle, finding Blake asleep in the middle of their bed when he got back.

“I want to keep an eye on him.” Harry told him when Louis raised his brows, seeing their dog sleeping on his bed that hadn’t been there before.

“Is his friend still coming over tomorrow?” Louis set the bottle down on Harry’s nightstand then got on the bed, climbing over Harry’s and Blake’s legs to get to his side of the bed.

“If he’s okay by tomorrow morning then yeah.” Harry looked at his sleeping son, making sure he was covered and comfortable. “It was probably a bug.”

“It was...it was actually the pizza.” Louis told him when he didn’t want to keep that from him. Especially things that concerned Blake. “I took him to this restaurant to eat pizza and then ice cream. He ate a lot.”

“He knows he’s not supposed to eat a lot of it. Too much flour makes him sick.” Harry informed Louis.

“I didn’t know that. I don’t know a lot of things.” Louis sighed and laid down next to Harry. Blake was supposed to be in the middle, but Louis wanted to be close to Harry.

“You’ll learn soon enough.” Harry turned the light off and wrapped his arms around Louis. “Are you okay?” He asked him, knowing Louis knew what he was talking about.

“I’m sad.” Louis confessed. “It hurts...a lot. And I try not to think about it, I’m trying not to think about it.i was doing so well.” Louis cuddled closer to Harry.

“I’m sorry.” Harry kissed his forehead.

“I have you and Blake. As long as I have you both.” Louis closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep after the long day.

The next day Blake was good as new and eating normally. As he waited for his friend Jeffrey to get there. When he saw him and his father getting out of the car, he waited by the door, about to open it when they rung the doorbell. He giggled when Louis picked him up and got him out of the way to get to the door first.

“Dad, I was going to open it!” Blake peeked out the door, seeing Jeffrey smiling big and holding an overnight bag and his pillow.

“Hello.” Louis greeted them, then moved aside. “Come in.”

“Thank you.” Josh, Jeffrey’s father, said as he walked in.

“Would you like something to drink?” Louis asked as he led them to the living room, seeing Harley walking up to Josh and Jeffrey to sniff at them.

“I’m fine, thank you.” Josh said then looked at Jeffrey, silently asking him if he wanted anything.

“Do you have juice?” Jeffrey asked Louis.

“We have orange and apple.” Louis headed to the fridge to show him the juices.

“Apple, please” Jeffrey smiled. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Louis smiled at him, then looked at the door when Harry walked in.

He watch him greet Josh, narrowing his eyes when he could see Josh getting closer to Harry. It was over a fast as it had started, then they were walking Josh to the door. The man stopped at the door and leaned forward to be at eye level with his son to talk to him.

“I’m going now. Please behave and listen to mr and mr Styles. I'll come get you tomorrow at noon.” Josh hugged his son and kissed the top of his head before letting go then looked at Harry and Louis. “Thank you for letting him spend the night. If he gives you any trouble please give me a call and I’ll come get him.”

“No problem. I’m sure we won’t have a problem.” Louis wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist and leaned closer to him, smiling when Josh did before he left.

When Harry closed and locked the front door, Blake and Jeffrey were already in the backyard jumping on the trampoline. Jay and Mark were out for the day and there was no one else in the house. Louis felt like the old days when he grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him upstairs and into their bedroom where he kissed him as soon as he had locked the door.

“We can’t leave the kids alone for too long.” Harry told him as he kept kissing Louis.

“They’ll be fine on their own for a few minutes while you get me off.” Louis told Harry.

Harry pulled back and gave Louis a confused Louis, but shrugged it off as soon as Louis’ hand sneaked down his jeans and wrapped around his cock. Harry was fully convinced the kids were fine on their own for a few minutes when he pushed Louis onto the bed and returned the favor.

The “few minutes” turned into a full hour where they got each other off. Harry definitely wondered if it was normal that Louis was back to being sexually active, but forgot about it when he had to convince him that it wasn’t the right time for them to have intercourse when they didn’t have any condoms. Louis stopped insisting when the kids screams started getting too loud and he had to go outside and tell them to quiet down. When he went back inside, he found Harry getting ready to go out. He didn’t stop him when he knew exactly what he was going to buy. Louis smirked, unable to wait for night to get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? :)


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